"Don't be afraid. I feel it too..."

His words echoed in her head hot and heavy, like remembering whispers in a fever dream. When Ben had uttered them to her during his interrogation, she'd been afraid and angry, she hadn't been able to hear the meaning beneath them. Rey was sure now that he meant the pull the force seemed to be exerting, bringing them together like the opposite ends of two magnets. He had been able to feel it before she had. Ben was attracted to her steady light. It was like his beacon in the darkness. Rey would be lying if she said there wasn't something about his passion that immensely appealed to her. "Balance." Something deep and primal told her. Rey shook her head of the thoughts.

"No." she thought sternly, "I'll try to save Ben Solo, because I think he deserves a second chance, but that's it." Just as soon as the thought was finished, she began remember the feel of his lips. It was as if her body was rebelling against her, calling her a liar. She swallowed hard, eyes closing. Her fingers traced her lower lip, remembering the taste of him. Her body ached for Ben. Ached to feel his intense gaze, his hands, his body pressed tightly against hers…

Angry, Rey swatted at the mug that had been resting on the table, sending the remnants of her sapir tea flying across the Falcon. "Damn him. Damn him. Damn him." She was yelling in her mind as she went to get something to clean it up with. She hoped in vein he would hear her. "How did this even happen?" She thought; not referring to the spilled tea.

"Rey?" Luke called worriedly, coming to stand and look at the scene. Before her outburst, everyone had been asleep in the Falcon as it headed towards its destination.

-Earlier-

"Master Luke!" She yelled, running to the Jedi who sat in meditation within the remains of a temple. He looked up at her expectantly, but didn't make a move to get up. "He's going to do it." She panted, "Ben, he's going after Snoke!" She focused solely on the larger picture, trying not to think about the kiss, and Ben shutting her out.

"Good." Luke said slowly, a grimace on his face.

"Good?!" Rey was aghast. "If he can even manage to do it, he's alone with no back up. He'll never leave alive!" Luke sighed sadly.

"I know that Rey. I love my nephew, but this was his choice. I have to be at peace with the decision."

"His choice? I highly doubt a boy would come up with a grand scheme like this all on his own." She snapped. A slight wave of guilt washed over her at Luke's pained expression.

"Rey, what does the beginning of the Jedi Code say?"

"There is no emotion, there is peace." She sighed in frustration, closing her eyes tightly. If she were meant to feel no emotion, she was doing a terrible job.

"Yes. Ben is completing his destiny, to bring balance. I want to help him, of course I do, but I have to put the needs of the galaxy above my own." Rey bit the side of her cheek. There were too many non-Jedi like things she wished to say at the moment. She stood there in silence, thinking hard on what to do. Ultimately, she knew the right decision.

"Master, I know I came here to complete my training as your Padawan, but I have to go. I want Ben to destroy Snoke just as much as anyone, but I also can't leave him to die. If I fail trying to help him that's one thing; but not trying to help him at all? I can't justify that with myself. I have to at least try." Rey was pleading with Luke to understand. The old Jedi considered her words for a moment. After what felt like an eternity to Rey, he gave her a small smile.

"I do miss my sister." He began, "And I owe her the truth."

-Currently-

"I'm sorry Master Luke, I didn't mean to wake you." Rey was anxious. They had left immediately once the decision was made, but it would take a day to get to Leia. That meant that Ben would be alone with Snoke for two days before they could reach him. She had tried repeatedly to break down whatever barrier he had thrown up around his mind, but she couldn't. At times she would repeat the same mantra towards the wall in their connection, "I'm coming for you, don't do anything stupid until I get there." If he could hear her, then maybe he would wait and she could help him. Otherwise, she at least felt better trying.

"You're troubled." It wasn't a question. The old Jedi sat down at the table. Rey took a seat opposite Luke, but didn't look at him. "It's about Ben, but not about his situation with Snoke." Rey's head snapped up. Had he been reading her mind?

"No, I mean yes, but I—" She tried, but the words wouldn't come. How could she justify this to Luke? How would anyone ever understand Rey letting herself feel something for Kylo Ren of all people? She couldn't tell anyone what had happened between them. Luke gave her a knowing look.

"Rey, these-these feelings are only natural." Rey turned red and squirmed awkwardly in her seat. "Attraction is a human response. However, Jedi are forbidden from attachments. You know this. It's a choice that has to be made. My father turned to the dark side because he went against the code. He loved my mother so desperately, that the thought of losing her drove him over the edge. It isn't an easy choice to follow the path of a Jedi, I know, but its necessary." Rey furrowed her brow, troubled at Luke's words.

"I understand Master Luke." It wasn't an answer, Rey knew that, but it would have to do for now. Luke nodded in understanding. Giving Rey a reassuring pat on the shoulder, he made his way back to bed. Rey sat alone once again. She was more confused now than ever about what exactly she wanted.

"I'm being torn apart." He heard himself saying to his father, Han Solo, who stood before him now. Ben Solo wanted to run to him. Tell him how sorry he was; tell him that he never stopped loving them, and that he wanted to come home. However in this moment, he was Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren knew he had to kill the man standing in front of him. It was the only way to gain Supreme Leader Snoke's trust. His final test. "Will you help me?" Han Solo stepped forward, hand reaching for Kylo Ren's outstretched lightsaber. "NO! NO!" Ben's mind screamed, but still he couldn't gain control. He had seen this particular scene too many times. He knew how it ended. The sun faded, and with it, the last remaining bits of light inside of Kylo Ren.

The lightsaber ignited.

Ben was horrified to see not Han Solo, but Rey in his place. Her lips were parted in a silent gasp, and she looked up at him with such pain at his betrayal. "No…" He gasped out, finally in control. He retracted his lightsaber and caught her falling body, sinking down to the cold metal of the bridge. "Rey!" He sobbed, burying his face in her hair. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Kylo gasped, sitting straight up in bed. His body was drenched in sweat, and he was breathing heavily. "Rey…" his thoughts went to her immediately. Reaching out with the force, he felt for her presence through their connection. She was agitated about something, but otherwise fine. Sighing in relief, Kylo put the walls up around his mind again. He had to keep her out; there was no other way. He lay back down, attempting to steady his nerves. The dream had made him exceedingly uneasy. "As long as she stays away, she's safe." He told himself. He became angry at his own concern for her. Kylo Ren had allowed himself to become weak, and all because of some little scavenging desert rat from Jakku. What did she matter?

Memories of their kiss invaded his mind. He had been with women before. There were plenty willing to throw themselves at him for his status alone. He had taken a few up on their offers of comfort, believing he would benefit both from the release, and that it brought him closer to the dark side. But Rey, she was different. Kissing her was an indescribably overwhelming sensation. His light and dark impulses seemed to meld together in that moment, leaving no conflict within his soul. He had never wanted anyone as much as he wanted her. When she was gone, he no longer felt that peace. She mattered, as much as he wanted to lie to himself and say she didn't.

Closing his eyes, he was assaulted with images of her. How she would look splayed out on his bed, her eyes full of desire. How it would feel to kiss every inch of her skin. His body pressed against hers…Kylo groaned in frustration. How could he have allowed her this much power over him? A woman he would never have, never see again. Laying there staring up at the ceiling, his darker impulses took over. He decided he would allow himself to think of her, but only for tonight.

"I'm a dead man anyway."