levi pov
I can't keep my eyes from chasing him. I hate myself for still caring... But whenever my eyes catch a flash of blond hair, a glimpse of blue... My head snaps in its direction and my heart clenches. It clenches even more when, sometimes I catch him looking my way.
No. I must be imagining it. Erwin couldn't possibly look my way, with this sort of intense glance, this ...longing... Not now. Not like this... But the more I look at him from afar, the more I notice him looking my way. Looking, staring... His stare is like an itch begging me to scratch it. And each time I find myself fighting the need to look, to check... To know whether or not he's looking. A constant stare probing me, searching my soul. Maybe he wants to be sure I'm okay. Still, I need to look.
And whenever I give in, the bastard doesn't even flinch. He holds my gaze and just keeps looking straight in my eyes. He doesn't say anything, doesn't ... Just stares at me.
And I'm always the one who looks away with a grunt.
When we cross paths though- which happens quite frequently since we live in the same area- he acts like the total gentleman he's always been. Casual chit-chats, casual looks, casual exchanges of nothings. He looks into my eyes in the way a neighbour does. Not like in the way "He" does, From afar that is... I swear that man must be bipolar ! Judging by the way he treats me. Of course being a gentleman is second nature to him. So our break-up wouldn't make him act all rude around me. But sometimes... I don't know what happens but he reverts back to being "my Erwin": Acting all sweet and caring, even giving me loving glances, chuckling while looking at me tenderly and letting out that throaty laugh of his... Then sometimes, he acts all indefferent-it's like he takes it upon himself to make me feel rebucked and unwanted. And then, some other times- and those hurt the most- he starts putting distance between us: both physically- he doesn't even let our arms brush- and emotionnally. He looks at me with empty eyes, doesn't respond, or just nods when I get angry and all frustrated. Cos Fuck if there's anything I hate, it would be people acting all high and mighty - which would get them a knee in the crotch- or them ignoring me- I don't talk often anyway. So when I do,I demand some attention and a fucking REACTION!
Today, Erwin is acting like his 3rd self. Which has me mumbling curses at him as I wait for the "ping" signalling the elevator reaching our floor. Yes we live on the same floor.
I already said "hi" earlier, and only got a small nod from him. I'm not trying any further though. Not today nor ever. I still want him. Fuck I WANT him! He doesn't. End of story... He told me very clearly. Of course him not explaining and us still living on the same floor wouldn't normally be called a clean break, but heck if I care.
"Ping"
Thank fuck!
I get out of the elevator as soon as I can and head towards my loft. What stops me though is hearing Erwin's grunt of pain... Fuck ! If he couldn't carry his groceries why not just fucking ask for help? Huh! Of course! Erwin's Prriiiiide woudln't let him -rolls eye. I'm the ex-boyfriend remember? Wouldn't want to add clingy to that.
I press the hold button, get inside the elevator and take half the bags. I wouldn't mind taking all of them but knowing Erwin, he would. I head towards his loft, lean on the wall and wait for him to put his bags on the floor, get his keys from his pocket, open the door and take the bags inside, I know my way in there, so I just go in after him and walk my way to the kitchen, put them on the table and turn back. On my way outside, I catch Erwin looking at me. No. Through me. Still Erwin 3 huh ? Whatever.
As I walk pass him I can't help saying:
-"Could have at least said thank you, Bastard!"
I immediatemy get yanked back, my back slams against the wall and my lips get tackled by... His? What ? The fucker's kissing me! As much as I would want to melt into his kiss, I grab his hair and pull him away from me. He has no fucking right to treat me this way!
-" What the fuck?"
I say as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. He seems to snap out of whatever had him forcing his kiss on me as his eyes turn into icy waters again.
-"Sorry, that won't happen again."
-"I don't care if it's gona happen again ! Fuck! I want it to happen again ! But that's not the issue here !"
-"Levi, I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again. I didn't even mean to..."
He's now looking away from me... Ok something's going on... Erwin never and I mean NEVER looks away from anything. He's not planning on explaining anything either...
The silence drags on...
-"Look, you know me. I won't beg you to take me back or some ridiculous shit. So this is how things are gonna be ... It's either you take it or leave it ! Take us back or leave for good ! Don't linger around. Giving me those looks one day, ignoring me the following one, and acting like I'm a pest later on. I'm not your toy, and I won't be waiting for you to make up your mind forever. Just go away or stay for good ! I'm sick of your indecisiveness ! Make up your fucking mind already !"
-"Levi ... "
-"Don't! ... Just ... You have 3 days ... If you don't come up with your answer by then ... I won't care anymore."
.
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End of chapter 3.
Hope you guys liked it ^^