"Good girls get treats." Sir lead me into his room where a wooden tub had been filled with warm soapy water. He knelt down and unhooked my leash. He liked to parade his pets around his dinner parties on our hands and knees. This was my first appearance since the disaster last month when I forgot my place. Before the guests arrived he hand picked a pet to kneel in front of each chair, hidden beneath the tablecloth. We were to pleasure our guest throughout dinner and accompany them back to their rooms for the night. Sir didn't quite trust me yet, so I was placed in front of his chair. I did everything I was supposed to do, everything he had trained me to do. I anticipated his every want and desire. I aimed to please him. I wanted to please him, because not pleasing him wasn't getting me anywhere. I had to be smarter about this. I wouldn't try to escape again. I wouldn't even think about it. I would stay here, be what he wanted me to be and bid my time.
"Thank you Sir." I said as I slide down into the water. He undressed and joined me. I picked up the soap and began to slowly wash him.
"Isn't this better than the dungeon." He asked, turning me around and washing my hair.
"Mmm, yes, Sir." I said, arching my back and shifting myself so that I was positioned just above his erection.
"Is that what you want? Hm?" I could hear the smile in his voice as his breath tickled my ear, sending shivers down my spine as he slowly rubbed his tip up and down my opening. I was silent as I stared at the wall. "Tell me." His voice changed from sensual to domineering in the fraction of a second.
"Yes, that's what I want." My voice was heavy with emotion, fear and desire warring with each other deep within my soul. "I want you, Sir, please." I squeezed my eyes shut as desire won out and he entered me with one smooth thrust. I cried out as my pleasure erupted, gripping the edges of the tub as he kept thrusting, bringing me to climax again and again. When he was finished, he clicked my leash back onto my collar and tied one end to the bedpost. He took me one more time before he was ready for sleep, snapping his fingers to signal that he was done with me. I laid on the floor next to the bed, my knees pulled tightly against my chest with only a small, thin blanket to protect me from the cold. I stared blankly out the window with silent tears streaming down my face, whispering Ragnar's name to myself over and over again.
It was my own tears that woke me. My cheeks were wet and the room echoed with a scream that had recently escaped my lips. Rollo was holding me close and glaring up at the ceiling. I looked up at him but his gaze didn't waver. His grip on me tightened as I tried to pull away.
"I'm not good with this sort of thing Ylva." His voice was strained.
"I know." I relaxed in his arms.
"Someone hurt you badly and for a long time, you're safe here with me, and with Ragnar. No one will ever hurt you again." His hand ran up and down my arm.
"I know, Rollo." My stomach twisted as I said the words. It wasn't that I didn't believe him, he just didn't understand that feeling safe wasn't as simple as that. The loud pounding on the door made me jump but Rollo's arm kept me firmly in place.
"It's me." My sister's familiar voice called out as she burst into the room.
"God's Lagertha, where's the fire?" I asked, taking in her sense of urgency.
"Well, I must say, this isn't surprising." She shifted her gaze from Rollo to me. I rolled my eyes at her pointed look.
"What can we do for you Lagertha? As you can see, we're a bit busy." The impatience in his voice surprised me.
"I heard Ylva scream." She said, narrowing her eyes as she took a step towards the bed.
"If I have my way, you'll hear more of the same before the morning is through." She smirked at his roguish smile.
"It was only a bad dream." I said, trying to intervene before an argument broke out.
"Is everything alright in here?" Ragnar stopped in the doorway, his expression was unreadable as he took in the scene.
"YES, for the sake of the God's, everything is fine." I could feel my fragile grip on my temper wavering.
"Get dressed, Rollo, Floki needs our help in the shipyard." Ragnar turned around abruptly and left, ignoring my outburst.
"The Earl beckons." He gave my arm a pat before throwing off the covers and standing up. Lagertha crossed her arms and rolled her eyes as he walked across the room completely naked to retrieve his clothes. When the door shut behind him the silence seemed to echo off the walls.
"Let's have it then, time for the lecture." I sat up in bed, crossing my arms as well.
"No lecture. You are a grown woman and can make your own decisions. I don't think he's good enough for you, but at least he isn't married this time." She sat down on the bed and stared at her hands. I recognized the sorrow that fell over her face. It was all too familiar, the sadness poured off of her in waves.
"Lagertha, what troubles you?" I placed my hand over hers and she grasped it tightly.
"I've come to say goodbye. It's time for me to go home." Her eyes filled with tears.
"I'll come with you. We need more time together." I wiped away the tear that fell onto her cheek.
"No, sister. My husband isn't the best sort of man. I don't want you exposed to the likes of him." She squeezed my hand.
"Dear Lagertha, if only you knew." I whispered.
"If I only knew what?" It felt as if she would crush my hand she was holding on so tightly.
"We'll save that for another time. Tell me, are you safe?" I asked, taking the focus off of me.
"Believe me, sister, it's nothing I can't handle." Her smile was ferocious and I knew in that moment that she was prepared to kill this man if need be. Good.
"So, you, Ragnar, and Aslaug? That was surprising." I laughed as her cheeks reddened.
"I was very drunk." She dismissed the question with a wave of her hand.
"I'm sure he woke up a happy man." I wiggled my eyebrows at her.
"He did, right up until he saw Rollo in your bed." Her eyes seemed to peer right into my soul.
"You know Ragnar, he's always wanted what was just out of his reach." I shrugged, brushing off the accusation in her voice.
"You and Ragnar have never?" She asked.
"Nope, not even once." I said with a shake of my head.
"Hm, I wonder how long that will last."
"What do you think I am? A whore?" I gave her a playful shove.
"Just be careful, Sister." Her smiled faded as she stood up.
"I'm always careful." I smiled up at her serious expression.
"Things have always been rocky between those two. If you still love Rollo, be with him. If you want to explore things with Ragnar, feel free to do that. Just be careful, they've never played well together and the definitely don't share."
Her words stayed with me long after her horse had disappeared over the horizon. She was right but it wasn't an easy decision to make and I certainly didn't want to make it anytime soon.
It had been six months since Ragnar retook his earldom and life had settled into a comfortable pace. Rollo was keeping his distance and I was fairly certain that Siggy had something to do with that. She had taken to ignoring me even when I spoke to her directly, which wasn't very often. I had barely said two words to him in the past few months. He obviously had made his decision and I would respect it. I wasn't a little girl anymore and I wouldn't chase after him. I had more important things to concentrate on, like training. I rose every morning before the sun, to greet the day with a sword in each hand. The salty spray of the sea coated my lips as I put myself through my exercises at a very slow pace. The deep breathing and slow movement helped build strength and control. Later I would practice in the yard with the other men and shield women at a much faster clip, building endurance.
"Slow down Bjorn. There is no need to rush. The slower you go the stronger you get." My nephew had been curious about my methods and impressed with my fighting style. So he had been joining me for these early morning sessions for the past five months.
"Listen to her boy. She is a good fighter." Ragnar sat in the same spot every morning, watching us. He had barely taken his eyes off me since Lagertha left. Sometimes I would wake in the middle of the night to find him sitting in my room, watching me sleep. I was always grateful that he was there because the nightmares never went away. But, I was beginning to wish I had kept most of my past to myself. There was an anger brewing inside of him. It wasn't good and I knew it was because of what I'd told him.
"Just good?" I said with a smirk.
"You will be great when you can disarm me." I couldn't resist the challenge in his voice.
"Here." I said, tossing him my practice sword. He caught it and twirled it expertly in his hand.
"This is hardly fair. Where is your weapon?" He advanced and lazily lunged at me. I dodged just as lazily, a wicked grin spreading across my face.
"I don't need one." He lunged again with a bit more energy, keeping his weight on his back foot. This time I was ready and dropped to the ground, snaking my long leg out, hooking his ankle with my foot and jerking him off balance all in one fluid motion. I wasted no time in getting to my feet. Stepping on the wrist of his sword hand, I reached down and pressed hard on the point of pressure I had been told would make the biggest, strongest man drop his weapon. A stunned Bjorn began laughing his head off as I took my sword back, twirling it expertly as I sauntered away.
"I stand corrected." He said, getting up and dusting himself off, looking a bit sullen.
"You didn't take me seriously." I shrugged as I clapped Bjorn on the back and handed him the practice swords to put away.
"I've always taken you seriously." He fell into step beside me.
"I know you have, and I thank you for that." We walked along the beach in a compatible silence as the sun rose the rest of way into the sky.
"Tell me, Ylva, do you remember the location of this Manor you were held in?" I was not expecting that question and it caught me off guard. I stopped in mid step and turned to face him.
"What? Why?" I asked, wondering if I'd heard correctly.
"We have nearly a year before we go west once again . We could take a small raiding party, you and I. You could have your revenge." My heart was pounding so hard I thought he could hear it.
"I.." The thought of seeing Sir again, even with Ragnar by my side filled me with a terror like I'd never known.
"It's okay, little wolf. It is your decision. But you know that eventually it will have to be done and if you don't want to do it, I gladly will." I started walking again, trying to sort out my tumbling thoughts. Ragnar retreated to give me some time to myself. I was in a daze for the rest of the day, lost in my thoughts and feelings, lost in the past. I sat idly by and watched the others practice without really seeing any of it. It's not like I hadn't thought about getting revenge. I'd dreamed of it since I woke up chained to his ceiling. I spent years thinking of everything I would do to him if I could, if our positions were reversed. It wouldn't be difficult to launch a raid on the Manor. The wall would be easy enough to scale and his only protection was his hunting dogs. But he was a cautious man, and since my escape he would have increased his security. It would be nothing we couldn't handle. Ragnar kept his distance, giving me space and letting me make my decision. I retired early and laid in my bed, looking up at the ceiling until sleep claimed my mind.