()()()()
"there will be dozens of people who will take your breath away,
but the one who reminds you to breathe is the one you should keep."
()()()()
Margaery wants to be able to say that everything about the Lannisters is ugly and horrible but Daenerys ("or just Dany if you want to.") leads her through a door at the back of the mansion and before Margaery can stop herself she gasps at the scene in front of her.
The garden is massive, more like a park, really, and the sky is clear and full of stars.
Her companion must have heard her gasp because she turns around and smiles that smile that makes Margaery feel safe and warm (and something else she can´t quite name yet).
Dany laughs, head thrown back and silver hair cathching in the moonlight, when she sees the look on the brunettes face.
"I know right? Is there anything about them that´s not completely pretentious?"
Margaery looks at her with something akin to wonder on her face.
"Oh but you can´t deny that this is beautiful!" Her hands touch the smooth wood of one of the big benches that decorate the empty lawn.
Dany turns to her after that comment, head turned to the side and a curious look on her face, like Margaery just said something that she hadn´t expected.
„No I guess I can´t."
Margaery looks up and their eyes meet and for a second she thinks maybe Dany wasn´t just talking about the garden.
But then she scoffs at herself.
-Of course, Margaery. Stupid, silly Margaery.-
Daenerys nods her head to her right, asking Margaery to follow and together they make their way deeper into the beautiful mess of flowers of all kinds.
In the distance the brunette can see a big glistening surface and really? They have a lake?
She can now see that they are following a clear path and to both sides of them the hedges grow taller and taller till Margaery can only see forward and Danys back in front of her and she realizes that they are in some kind of labyrinth.
She begins to feel a little uneasy.
Not because of her companion. No, she would probably follow the other girl everywhere right know, which maybe is a little weird seeing as they only just met literal minutes ago.
But if Dany had wanted to hurt her or something she could just have had Joffrey have his fun with Margaery.
No, what was worrying her was the fact that it was getting darker and darker and they were both walking deeper into a labyrinth that they didn´t know the size or the way out of.
Margaery swallows, on the one hand not wanting to say anything and ruin the fun like she probably always did and on the other getting really worried.
Her stupid, overthinking side wins.
„Uh Dany? You sure this is a good idea? What if we get lost?"
She hates how pathetic she sounds and she half expects Daenerys to roll her eyes and sigh at her childish behaviour, to tell her to get a grip and not always ruin anything.
(In her imagination Danys face morphs into that of Loras and her voice gets deeper, mocking.)
But the other girl only laughs and there is nothing degrading or annoyed about it.
„Don´t worry pretty Tyrell. I know my way around, been here some times before."
She turns around in a flash and smirks at Margaery, but it´s not cold and mean and cutting like her own but warm and beautiful and somehow even seductive and it´s all that Margaery remembers.
That smirk and the way Danys voice sounded when she called her „pretty".
Margaery doesn´t think she will ever forget.
And it´s then, while the other girls hair still glows in the light of the moon and her skin looks white against her in the dark background dissapearing black dress, that Margaery realizes how absurd this whole situation is.
An hour ago she was standing alone in the dining hall of the Lannisters with nobody she knew and nobody to talk to, about to nearly get kidnapped or whatever by Joffrey, and now she is wandering the Lannister gardens at night with the most mysterious person in their whole town.
Also, she´s just been called pretty for the first time. Well, except for when her brother says it, but that doesn´t count.
Margaery should probably be embarassed that this is such a big deal for her but all she can think about is the way Dany said it.
So completely casual, like it is the most normal thing in the world.
It´s almost enough to make Margery believe it.
Almost.
Her companion sighs loudly and turns around, grinning big and eyes sparkling and now that the moonlight is illuminating her it´s the first time Margaery can see the shadow of a bruise still on her face.
Dany plops herself down on the grass and looks at Margaery expectantly.
The brunette girl begins to look at her surroundings and can´t help but gape, slowly sinking down next to her new friend.
They are surrounded by roses.
Red, yellow, pink. Even some blue ones.
It feels like they are swimming in a see of them, Margaery is stunned.
She turns her head and catches Daenerys watching her, a content smile on her lips, like this was just the reaction she was hoping for.
„It´s beautiful isn´t it? I come here sometimes to think. I don´t think one of the Lannisters has ever set food in the gardens and the fence is quite easy to climb on the other side of the lake."
Margaery grins at that, the image of Daenerys climbing fences in walked down boots and simple dresses or torn jeans so surreal and still so fitting.
„It may be cliche and boring but I love roses. And they made me think of you, I´ve been meaning to show you for some time now."
Margaerys head whips around at that.
She´s been meaning to show her? Does that mean Dany noticed or even thought about her before this evening?
And why did roses remind Dany of her?
The other girl probably sees the confusion on Margaerys face and lets out a small laugh.
„Because of your family? You know, they say the Tyrell house is the house of roses, or something like that. I never really got the whole story but it came back to me when I saw this the first time and so I´ve wanted to take you."
Margaery is still quiet. Simply because she has no idea what to say but at the same time so many questions.
There is too much new information in everything the silver haired girl just told her.
Daenerys smile slips a little and her eyes roam Margaerys face nervously before she fixes them on an imaginary thread on her dress.
"I mean it´s stupid. You probably have a rose garden even bigger than this one at your house and..."
"We don´t."
Dany looks up at Margaerys sudden words.
The latter clears her throat, pushing a strand of hair behind her hair unsurely.
"I mean we had one, when I was small, but my mom was the only one looking after and investing time in it so after she died it just kinda did too.."
It´s quiet again after that and Margaery can´t make herself meet Daenerys eyes, too embarassed about what she just confided to the other girl.
-stupid, silly Margaery. Always ruining everything with her helplessness.-
Then there´s a whispered "oh" from her companion and Margaery realizes that the other girls voice is still a little unsure herself so she feels like she should defuse the situation some more.
„So, it´s not stupid. Like, at all. It´s beautiful. The roses I mean. And I like it here, it´s good. It´s good that you took me. Thank you."
And she means it.
They both look at each other again and now Daenerys is smiling again and Margaery likes this much more than the nervous, unsure version of her. This seems much more like the real thing.
"Yeah, no problem."
The moment between them is easy, comfortable but there is something that´s been sitting in the back of Margaerys mind and she can´t keep herself from asking even if she hates herself for it.
„Do you want to show Loras too? My brother I mean, because he´s also a Tyrell."
She feels pathetic and needy but there is just that part of her that needs to ask, needs to know if this was about her or about some old forgotten family stories, as selfish as it sounds.
Daenerys looks at her with that something in her eyes that Margaery can´t place, like she´s trying to figure her out.
Then the other girl turns her head to the sky and slowly lays down, her silver hair like a halo around her.
„No."
It´s easy as that and Margaery doesn´t need her to clarify, doesn´t need to be told that this here was for her, not for Loras, not for any other Tyrell but for her, and it´s enough, it´s more than she had expected, more than she ever got and even though she doesn´t really get it, doesn´t understand why her, she lays down next to the silver haired girl beside her.
The lawn is a little wet and she´s sure she´s gonna be cold later but right know her elbow is touching Daenerys elbow and Margaery thinks that her heart should be racing, but it´s not.
It´s calm and steady, calmer than it´s been the whole evening, being in a room with so many people who hated and scared her, calmer than it´s been the whole week, having to go to school everyday to listen to people she didn´t do anything to tell her how unwanted and stupid she was.
It´s just calm.
And Margaery would say she´s just content, but when she thinks about it she´s not just content but happy, even though they aren´t doing or saying anything.
This is all still so surreal.
Maybe in a few seconds she´ll wake up, in her own bed or somewhere in a foreign room, Joffreys face close to hers and she´ll realize nobody came to help her escape from him.
She shudders.
„If you´re cold we can go inside again?"
Margaery hadn´t noticed Dany watching her but the prospect of going back to the others again, away from this somewhat magical world where it seems like no one can reach them makes her all but scream the "NO!".
Dany flinches.
„Sorry. Sorry, but let´s just stay for a little longer alright?"
The other girl shrugs, grinning.
„Sure, as long as you want. I´m in no hurry to get back to anyone."
A shadow passes over her face and Margaery remembers that while she may have to go back home with a brother who only uses her and doesn´t notice when she´s gone and a boyfriend who will not sleep in her bed tonight, Daenerys has to go back home to an empty home with a brother who uses her as a punching bag if he feels like it.
It always bothered the brunette girl, knowing nobody was doing anything to stop the abuse, but now she clenches her fists, getting angry while she thinks about what the girl next to her, who saved her without knowing her and showed her a garden full of roses because they made her think of Margaery, has to endure on a daily basis.
But she doesn´t say anything either, not wanting to ruin the moment, and maybe that´s selfish but Margaery can´t help herself.
Now she´s the one staring, turning her head to the side, hands folded on top of her stomach while trying not to loose the contact between both their elbows.
Dany is looking at the stars, face open and calm, unreadable. She seems relaxed, and Margaery smiles at how at ease they are with each other, like they´ve know each other for a long time.
She tries not to ogle the other girl too much, but damn, Daenerys is beautiful. There is no denying her full lips, big striking eyes, perfectly sculpted nose, and her hair, those silver blonde strands framing her face, making her look like an angel.
Margaery should be jealous but all she feels when she looks at her new friend is warmth. It starts in the pit of her stomach and builds up into her chest, making her skin tingle.
It´s … nice.
She doesn´t know how long the both of them lay there, counting stars and relishing the easy silence between them, but suddenly there is a noise breaking through the quiet of the night, a rustling of leaves and the sound of feet upon wet grass, and Margaery jumps up onto her elbows.
She looks behind her and there between the roses, with her hair like fire in the moonshine, stands Sansa Stark, looking like a painting.
The other girl looks shocked at finding them there, her hands clutching the long sleeves of her green velvet dress, her eyes big and blue and she seems frozen.
Margaery wants to take a picture, of the way her hair settles on her shoulders and stands out against the otherwise black night and of her pale pretty face, her eyes glancing between Margaery and Daenerys like she´s deciding what to do.
Dany does not seem as startled by the noise as Magaery was, and she smiles when she sees the Stark girl.
"Hey Sansa." her voice is soft but her eyes honest and she sits up, turning around fully, before crossing her legs and leaning on her arms behind her.
Sansa gives her a smile, it´s small and someone else would have called it shy but Margaery knows that´s not it, because Sansa Stark is not a shy person she´s just … sad.
But that doesn´t seem right either so Margaery stops trying to analyse and instead decides to follow Danys lead and face the other girl.
Sansa still hasn´t moved, neither forward in their direction or backwards to get away, so Margaery decides to speak.
"Dany and I were just catching some fresh air and enjoying the stars, you want to join us?" She smiles at the redhead, and it´s not one of her cutting smirks but a real one, making dimples appear in her cheeks, and it feels weird. Weird but not bad.
Sansa looks at her and then down quickly, her brow creasing, like she´s not quite sure what to do, before she clears her throat a little.
"Yeah, okay. Thank you." Her voice is flat, dead, but still polite because everyone knows Sansa Stark is a good girl.
Margaery watches as the tall girl walks up to them before slowly sitting down next to Daenerys, shuffling around a little so the three of them are sitting in something akin to a semicircle.
Her movements are stiff and heavy, like every step is exhausting her and Margaery thinks that yeah, sad definetly isn´t the right word.
Sansa tucks her knees up to her chest, leaning her head on them and she looks like nothing more than a kid right there in front of their eyes.
()()()()
All she had wanted was to get out.
Her mom had gotten her in the dress and her brothers in tuxedos (and her little sister in one too because god forbid Arya even touches frill) and after Caitlin deemed them all perfect looking they had been on their way.
And now here Sansa is, and everywhere around her are people talking and laughing and being obnoxious and all it´s all too much.
All sounds are muted and sometimes she feels like someone sprayed fog over her eyes and her whole body is heavy and tired.
Her Mom grips her arm and walks her around the room, stopping here and there to make smalltalk, never letting go of her daughter, like she´s afraid she´s gonna run away.
But Sansa doesn´t feel like running, she´s not feeling like much at all, except for being alone.
Yeah she´d really like to be alone.
She doesn´t know how much time has passed, how much longer they have to stay.
She remembers the beginning of the evening when there was a moment where Margaery Tyrell from her school looked at her and for a second Sansa thought the other girl was about to come over to talk to her.
-please don´t.- Sansa had thought. -There is nothing here that will make this worthwile. It´s just me, and even of that there isn´t much.-
But luck had been on her side because a second later the brunette had turned around again and that was that.
Sansa feels the hand around her arm loosen and looking up notices that her Mom is in deep discussion with a tall blonde women with short hair, so she takes her chance.
"I´m gonna get something to eat." she mumbles and she isn´t even sure her Mom heard her but she makes no move to stop her daughter.
Sansa doesn´t know where she is going, where her body is dragging itsef, all she notices is fresh air hitting her in the face and the sweet smell of flowers, but her surroundings are unclear to her.
She thinks about just sitting down now that she is outside and alone as far as she can see but her feet carry her farther and farther and maybe they wont ever stop again.
What a silly thought.
In retrospect it´s funny how Sansas mind has been blank for the last months and even though her thoughts have been running wild at times all her brain can really concentrate on is the lack of everything, of feelings and emotions and life and then her feet carry her deeper and deeper into dark surroundings and then without warning she sees them, laying on the ground seemingly in their completely own world and when they turn around, the silver haired girl at first and then the brunette (who she realizes a second later is Margaery Tyrell, and the Targaryen girl) and she locks eyes with them, for a quarter of a second eveything inside her erupts into light and her body isn´t as heavy anymore and her mind not as blank and for the first time in months she´s not tired to the bones and maybe it sounds impossible and cliché but it´s true and Sansa doesn´t know why.
"Hey Sansa." the blonde says, and if it were anybody else she would have already turned around but something is keeping her here.
The voice of the Targaryen is soft and pretty and it makes Sansas stomach fill with warmth.
She thinks maybe she is smiling but she isn´t sure.
"Dany and I were just catching some fresh air and enjoying the stars, you want to join us?" the brunette adds and Sansas skin tingles.
(Dany.. Dany.. Daenerys. she remembers.)
It´s almost too much, the way her body reacts and feels but Sansa wants it to never stop, so she says yes, says "Yeah, okay. Thank you." and she knows her voice is still flat and numb because they are just two girls and they are not just goning to fix her but as she walks over to them and sits down she can feel the grass underneath her legs and the palms of her hands being wet and she sees the flowers she´s surrounded by and the way Margaerys knee is touching that of Daenerys just sightly, and she notices that the sky is dark and full of stars and it must be late and she notices how beautiful both of the girls sitting in a circle next to her are.
Sansa is a little confused and overwhelmed so she tucks her knees under her chin, wraps her arms around them.
There is silence for a minute and she isn´t sure if it´s uncomfortable or not because she doesn´t notice these things anymore.
Her concentration is on the stars above her and she gets why the other two have been watching them, they are insanely bright and there are so many of them and they light up the faces of her two companions.
"So have you been enyoing the festivities, Sansa?" There is something mean in Margaerys voice but Sansa gets that it´s not directed at her, and she also gets that the question doesn´t really need an answer so she settles for looking pointedly at the brunette, her eyebrows raised.
She doesn´t know where she takes the bravery or energy to do so, to communicate with them in a way that feels easy and not forced and real.
Margaery snorts, her nose crunching up and chest puffing up. It makes Sansa feel something in the pit of her stomach but Margaery slaps her hands over her mouth and looks horrified and terrified for a second.
"Sorry."
Daenerys looks at the brunette, head cocked to the side, brows furrowed together, like she is searching for something.
Sansa would like to know what it is.
The silver haired girl turns to her now, smile gracing her lips, all soft and strong and brave and Sansa notices the bruise around her eyes and for a second she feels like someone punched her in the chest and she wants to reach out and touch it, make it disappear.
"Who did that?" the words leave her lips before she knows whats happening, a simple question, and Sansa knows she should be embarassed or horrified or guilty but she doesn´t know how to, and she knows that she shouldn´t have asked and she sees Margaery tense up, looking uncomfortable but also like she wants to know the answer and she sees the way the smile is wiped out of Daenerys face and maybe she just ruined everything.
The thought somehow scares her, her heartbeat speeds up.
Daenerys (or Dany, like she heard Margaery say) sits rigid and still, looking like she forgot how to breathe.
Sansa knows how that feels.
But then it´s gone and the smile is back, this time mysterious and a little scared.
"That´s a story for another time. We shouldn´t talk about such things here, this is a happy place!"
And with that she grins brightly at the other two, but Margaery only looks sad and Sansa doesn´t feel all that good anymore herself.
She sees the way Margaery looks at the other girl, all big eyes and soft smile and Sansa tries to remember ever seeing them in school together but her life is only one big numb blur so there isn´t really much to remember.
Daenerys still looks fake happy and that seems wrong because her hair is the colour of molten silver and her eyes are nearly violet and she knew Sansas name but not in a bad way and she´s probably one of the only people that smile at Sansa and mean it and there is a bruise on her face but her smile is still so brave and she knows what it feels like to not only be hurt emotionally but physically but she still believes in happy places and Sansa doesn´t feel much but she feels that something this beautiful should never be sad and always real happy.
So she lays down next to her, not touching because she still doesn´t like people touching her but also because maybe once she starts she wont be able to let go, and she folds her hands on top of her stomach and out of the corner of her eye she can see Margaery doing the same at the blondes other side, like some silent understanding, and then finally Daenerys sinks down in their middle.
Sansa feels okay.
She only met these two girls a few minutes ago and before tonight they have never spoken a word but she knows there is something connecting them, like they´re all not as happy as they should be and like they are all just a little more fucked up then everybody else.
She knows she doesn´t like when Margaery apologizes for just letting go and when Daenerys is fake happy and she also gets it, people always think Sansa is some naive, stupid little kid but she´s not, she get´s that they probably won´t ever speak again after this and that whatever this is it´s not really real and it doesn´t count because they are far away from everything that´s normal and by school on monday Margaery will be back to cutting smiles in hallways and Daenerys will be back to smoking cigarettes under the bleachers and haunted eyes and Sansa herself, Sansa won´t even remember much of this because the fog will be back again and her mind is gonna blank and her sight blurry, so yeah, she get´s it.
But right now she is just letting herself feel something, feel the warm bodies next to her and the silence that is neither swallowing her or spitting her out and the stars above her that make her feel small in a really good way, and yes,
Sansa feels okay.