Flowey's Journal, Part 1:
Finally, I can write things down. With Sans out of the picture, I don't have to worry about being spied on.
This is a big change. I was always afraid Sans could reset just like I could—he knew more than he should have, more than he could have, without resetting. If that was true, his memory would carry over from timeline to timeline, and he could gather information that he could use against me. I had to keep a lot of secrets to make sure he couldn't stop my plans.
He probably had the same idea. He had his own share of secrets, and he never let anything slip out. I tried so hard to get him to open up. But he knew better than to tell me what was really going on with him.
It doesn't matter. Sans is gone now. And after a few days scouring the Underground, I've seen no traces of him.
I'll still keep looking. He is too dangerous for me to let my guard down.
A journal will make things much easier. There was so much information I just had to memorize before… it was exhausting.
Asriel was right about one thing. I do need to look for something different. Something new. Something stronger. Determination isn't going to be enough to get me out of this mess.
Golly, it hurts.
This is a whole other kind of emptiness. I didn't know loneliness got like this.
It hasn't even been that long. Just a few days. This is going to be hard.
It comes to me in spasms. Most of the time, it's just blank. Empty. Gray. Boring. But then, a memory comes back to me, and then it starts to hurt.
I have to dig into the ground to scream. I can't stand to hear the sound of my own crying. The echoes are horrible.
I was always a crybaby, wasn't I?
This is so much harder than I thought. I'm so tired. I don't even want to write.
I'm back! Finally, it stopped. I feel good. I feel awake. And I got so much done!
There are actually still some monsters down here. A few, at least. A little Froggit apparently lingered too long in the Ruins, and there's a Whimsun at home. Two monsters so far.
Probably not useful. But we'll see.
Why is this happening to me? What did Asriel do to me? All those souls must have torn me up when they left. I feel like I've been cut to shreds.
What am I even doing? Asriel said to look for something different. How am I supposed to be "creative?" What does that even mean?
I only learned about resetting by killing myself. That knowledge was a complete accident! If there's something else, what could it be? What else is there to know about this world that Asriel thinks I can find?
Sans.
If there's something else for me to find, Sans would know what it was.
I've never been able to slip into that room of his. Or that shack behind his house. I always thought his secrets must be hidden in there, but he always stopped me when I tried to get inside.
Without him around, maybe I can finally break in and find out what he knows.
It's hopeless. The same defenses are in place. Bullet after bullet, and the place still won't come apart. Not even a dent. It still won't catch fire. Fire won't even melt the snow on the roof.
I spent a long time in Papyrus' room. I miss him. He was fun.
I think I'll make a snow Papyrus. Just to see what it looks like.
I tore it down. It disgusted me.
The snow Papyrus didn't talk. The real Papyrus could never hold still and stay quiet like that snow skeleton. It felt wrong. An imposter.
No monsters in Snowdin. The presents are still lying on the ground, untouched.
The wrapping paper is damp with snow.
I should go to the lab. If I can't look into Sans' head, maybe I can settle for the second best. Alphys.
I need to get to Hotland. Maybe I can poke around Waterfall on the way.
I spent hours listening to the Echo Flowers. They're all that's left of the monsters who left the Underground.
All the voices left are old ones. I've already heard everything they have to say. But it's the best company I've got down here.
I should have hid some of them, to keep them from learning new phrases. There are only three left that still have Chara's voice.
"Okay."
"This is boring. Let's go."
"Come on, hurry up!"
And that's it. My best friend, reduced to ten words.
That's the problem with Echo Flowers. They only say the last thing they hear. Everything else is lost forever.
The only reason those three flowers still have Chara's voice is because they were hidden really far from the rest. Nobody ever came by and erased the message.
There are so many things I want to hear again. Now, they're only in my head.
The worst part is that, most of the time, the person who erased Chara's voice was me.
"Race you!"
I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut.