Flowey's Journal, Part 79:
I don't really need a journal anymore, but I want to write this down.
I am so happy. Finally, things are okay.
I can spend every day with Chara. Chara is just like they always were. Full of energy. Always happy. They always have a new idea, a new thing to do. A new game.
Today we spent hours making snow sculptures and tearing them down. I chased them in a snowmobile all the way from Snowdin to the Ruins, and carried them back when they were tired. But after they had a couple cinnamon buns they were ready to run around again. My face still hurts from all the snow and the wind, but it's worth it. When it got dark, we holed up at the inn. They held me close and warmed me up.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow's going to be another great day.
I can't believe it.
Chara is finally back.
Down the mountain! To our deaths!
Back on our feet! With determination!
This is incredible. I never thought of doing this before. Jumping off of a cliff! It's terrifying! I loved it! We did it six times today. It only hurts for a second, and then we're back on our feet at the top of the cliff, ready to jump off again.
Chara starts rolling up another snowball.
"How big do you think we can make one?" I ask.
"Big as the moon." They say. "Twice as round, and thrice as white!"
"What do you think the moon looks like on the surface?"
Chara stops.
"Like this." They say, patting the snowball. "It's just like this."
They keep rolling it up.
"What about the sun?" I ask.
"I don't know."
"Yellow snow?"
"Nah. Better than that." They say. "Maybe… honey! Like a giant ball of honey!"
"Yeah."
They start rolling faster, an even bigger smile on their face.
"Your cheeks are red." I say.
"Lemme see yours."
They lift me into the air and look up at me.
"Still white and yellow!" They say.
"I wish I had my old body back."
"I like this one." They say.
"But we can't wrestle anymore." I say. "I'm too small."
The smile vanishes.
It comes right back.
Chara hurls me into the sky.
"Chara!"
"Don't worry; I'll catch you!"
They catch me. They're beaming.
"Who cares if we can't wrestle?" They ask. "Now you can fly!"
I laugh.
"See? It's not so bad." They say.
"Chara. Guess what number I'm thinking of."
"Hm… Forty billion and seven." They say. "Wait. Four. Wait. Three. Wait… Forty billion and six!"
"Eight."
"Dang! I was so close!" They say.
"Do you know why I asked?"
"Why?"
"I'm just… I'm just glad I don't know what you're going to say." I say. "I spent so much time with those people… I got so tired of hearing the same old things. Everything is new again…"
"Asriel… Come on, don't cry. Be happy! Look! The snowball! The size of the moon!"
They set me down and start rolling up the snowball again. I watch. It grows and grows, until it's up to their chin.
"I think it's ready."
Chara picks me up and puts me on their shoulder. They push the snowball out to the ledge. It's really heavy. Chara is struggling.
They finally manage to shove it off the cliff. We watch it tumble down into the abyss.
"Wow."
"What next?" They ask.
"I don't know."
They throw me into the air again. I laugh, and they throw me again, and again, and again. I keep laughing.
Then the wind picks up when I'm in the air. I drift over to the ledge.
I stop laughing.
"Hey! Chara!"
Just as I'm about to fall off the cliff, Chara lunges and grabs me with one hand. They pull me back up.
We catch our breath. That was close.
"You're not going anywhere." They say.
"Thanks."
We look at each other.
"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Asks Chara.
"I'm just happy." I say. "I haven't-"
"You're so mushy!" They say, squeezing me.
"I can't help it. I missed you."
"Aw… I missed you, too."
"Can we go inside?" I ask. "It's kind of cold, and-"
"To the library!" They shout. "We have books to ignore!"
We snatch a blanket from the inn and some cinnamon buns from the shop and curl up in a corner of the library. Chara hasn't done all of the puzzles here, so I take out the ones they haven't seen. I watch them scribble away.
Chara's eyes have come back. Only a tiny red glow lingers in their irises.
Chara was always so pretty. I used to draw lots of pictures of them. I was never very good, but Chara liked them.
The little nose. The big bright eyes. Dozens of smiles, and they're never quite the same. Smiles and smirks and grins and other things I don't have names for. They were always really infectious.
I like their long hair, too. It's very soft. Like Mom and Dad's. Or mine.
Chara ruffled my fur all the time. Mom always complained that every time I came home I looked like a mess. Dad always picked our side, and he'd tell the biggest lies to help us out.
"Don't you know, Tori? That's the newest style!"
"They were just running through Hotland. All that electricity makes your fur stand on end."
"No, it was always like that. Just like that mud on his face."
"Tori, that's not our son."
I should make us some butterscotch pie. And find some chocolate for Chara. There are so many things we can do. I don't know where to start.
"Asriel."
I look up. Chara is folding up a sheet of paper.
"I've got a present!" They sing.
They hand it to me. I unfold it.
I groan.
"Chara, you know I hate jumble."
"This one is different." They say. "Look at it."
I sigh. I never liked Chara's anagrams. I don't like how they spelled the family name. Mom only liked it because she didn't know what it meant.
I read it. They already put the solution at the bottom, and circled it.
"ASRIEL DREAMER. RE-DREAM, ASRIEL, SERIAL DREAMER.
REAL DREAM, ARISE."
I smile.
"I still don't like anagrams." I say.
"It fits." Says Chara. "We do whatever we want, just like in a dream. But it's a real dream. And we reset the dream and start over… we re-dream. We're serial dreamers, Asriel. Serial dreamers."
"Hm."
"Are you still mad about the serial murderer joke?" They ask.
"It wasn't funny."
"I'm sorry! I didn't think it would bother you."
I set down the paper. I look away.
"It still bothers you?" They ask. "We just killed 14 monsters! You said you didn't care anymore."
"At first I was mad because it was such an awful name." I say. "And after I became a flower… it… it felt too true. I didn't like it."
"Serial dreamer." They say, smiling.
"I still don't like it." I say. "I know you're trying to make it sound better, but I just like Asriel Dreamer. That's what I want it to be."
"Why not Flowey?"
"I don't want to be a flower." I say. "And I don't want the name."
"Asriel..."
They pick me up and sit me in their lap.
"I like flowers." They say.
They put their nose to my forehead and breathe in.
"You smell nice." They murmur.
I lift up my head and give them a kiss. They close their eyes and kiss me back.
We break apart… sooner than I wanted.
Chara smiles at me. An innocent smile. I feel confused. What just happened?
"Where are the cinnamon buns?"
Chara grabs the bag and starts stuffing their face, ignoring me.
Something doesn't feel right. That kiss was different, somehow. But I don't think Chara noticed.
I kiss Chara again before they go to sleep. They smile and pull me under the blanket. They hold me close, my face just under theirs.
"Yeah. You smell nice."
For the first time, I think I want to be a flower.