Disclaimer: 'Supernatural' is the property of Warner Brothers, the CW, and other associated parties. I claim no ownership of the franchise, characters or settings, nor am I affiliated with the above parties in any way. The following is a fan-work, written for my amusement, and not for material or monetary gain. Please support the official releases. (I don't own this).

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Coalescence

By Payce D. Elui

Chapter 10: Tension

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Adam had been skimming through the book when Sam and Dean had arrived. He'd gotten past the death of Mary Winchester (and flinched at that- it rivalled what happened to his own mother), past Dean breaking into Sam's apartment at Stanford, (for all Sam's enthusiasm for the hunt, it seemed that once he too was more interested in life outside of it), and to the co-ordinates that John Winchester had left Dean. It was weird, seeing the relationship between Sam and Dean in the book.

He had noticed it during his own interactions with them- even for brothers, they seemed very close. But obviously it was a bond that had grown stronger with time, because in the book, they started off a lot more edgy around one another than they were currently. Dean, for one, seemed like much less of an angry person, while Sam was the opposite. If the book was to be believed, then both his half-brothers had changed a lot throughout the years.

It was when Adam got to the part of Sam leaving Stanford with Dean that the brothers burst into the room.

They didn't even bother to knock.

That didn't come as a surprise to Adam at all. He had a feeling that the Winchesters weren't big on boundaries anyway, much less than with 'family.' Still, he couldn't help himself from raising an eyebrow and drawling- "thanks for knocking," before he went back at the book in his hands.

"That the book?" Sam asked redundantly.

Adam held it up. He wouldn't lie and say the cover wasn't just a little bit hilarious. A topless, oiled up Sam and a stiff looking Dean in front of the Impala- for all the seriousness inside the outside made it look like 'Supernatural' was a gaudy harlequin romance novel- brokeback style. "Sam, does that look like you? I think it looks like you… Dean is definitely shorter than this, by the way."

Dean made a face, striding across the room and snatching the book up.

"What the hell is this?" He turned the book over, reading the blurb with narrowed eyes before he flipped through the pages in quick succession. His expression grew darker with every sentence he absorbed, and with a growl he flipped to somewhere near the back.

"... Dean?" Sam asked, coming up behind his brother.

"Near as I can tell, it's all in here," Dean said irritably. "What the hell? Mom, dad- Jess- even the Smurfs shirt, man."

Sam took the book. "Carver Edlund, huh? Who the hell is this guy?"

"Carver Edland's a penname. He goes by Chuck Shurley in real life. Born 1975, which makes him around 35. Doesn't live too far from here, actually, published a bunch of books in this series. At least 20 so far."

Both Sam and Dean gave him surprised looks. It was like they'd forgotten about him being in the room, once again.

"What?" Adam asked, inexplicably peeved at the thought. "Soon as it looked legit I checked up on it- you're not the only ones who know how to Google something."

"All right, all right," Dean said, waving a hand at him. "Guess we're on this. Thanks for the heads up, kid. We'll look into it. C'mon, Sam." Dean made for the door, and Adam stood up.

"Wait- you're just going?"

Dean turned around. "Uh- yeah. We got the info, now we deal with the problem. Why?"

Adam scowled at him. "You're not forgetting something?"

Dean looked around. "What?"

Sam cleared his throat.

"What?" asked Dean again, looking confused.

"I'm coming with you," Adam said loudly.

Dean looked even more confused. "What?"

"I'm coming," Adam repeated firmly.

"No you're not," said Dean.

"I told you if it was something to do with me-" Adam started, but Dean cut in.

"Hey- I heard you last night. I may not have liked it, but fine, whatever. But this- this isn't 'near' you- it's nothing to do with you."

"Uh- actually... Dean?" Sam said, licking his lips.

"What?" asked Dean a fifth time.

"Mysterious author knows about us- and from this book- they know a hell of a lot, man. What's to say they don't know about Adam?"

"Right," said Adam. "You're all big on keeping a low profile, but, uh, if he ends up writing about me- well, there goes my low profile. Then I really will be a target. So will my friends."

And it was true. The books weren't bestsellers, but people were reading them. All it took was the wrong kind of person to read it and Adam was royally screwed. Hell, he wouldn't have put it past Max to put two and two together if a future book in the series came out with the inclusion of one Adam Milligan. This- this was definitely something that counted as 'Adam's Problem'.

It was interesting to see Dean Winchester backed into a corner by something he couldn't break. His shoulders hunched, his eyes shuttered, but instead of making him seem smaller, he just looked more solid; a spring wound tight and ready to burst into action.

Dean didn't want him along for the ride, Adam knew that much. Still, aside from the small frown gracing his lips, he didn't look too bothered by the events. And Adam knew for a fact that Dean was bothered. Still, if it hadn't been for Dean's vehemence the other times Adam had talked to him, he really wouldn't have known any better.

"You have school," Dean tried.

"It's Saturday tomorrow," Adam replied flatly.

"Pretty sure exam season is soon, right? Don't you need to be cramming or something? You know- locked up in a library somewhere?"

"Never been much of a crammer," Adam said, matching Dean's easy tone. "Besides, my exams are a while away, it's no big deal."

Dean studied him with serious eyes.

"We can deal with this without you, you know," Dean said. "It won't even take long- you don't need to worry about being dragged into this. We'll stop it."

"If it's that easy, we can be back for Monday, then," said Adam, smirking. "Deal with it and I'll even be back in time for my lectures. We're both happy."

"Let me guess," Dean said, a touch of sourness in his voice. "Something you have to see done personally."

"You know it," Adam said, tilting his head challengingly but not breaking eye contact.

Sam cleared his throat again, and Dean glanced over at him with dull eyes. Sam raised his eyebrows and nodded over at Adam, who tried to hide the expression on his face.

Was that meant to be subtle? Sam's eyebrows were far too emotive to pass for subtle.

"Ok, fine," Dean grumbled, throwing his hands up. True to his words the night before, he really didn't try to dissuade Adam from coming along- not as strenuously as he had done before, anyway. "Grab your bag and be quick about it. But you're doing what we say when we say it, got it?"

"I'll be two seconds," Adam promised, grabbing a bag and throwing some clothes into it. With a second's hesitation he grabbed his notebook and stuffed that into the bag, too. And just like that, he was ready.

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Adam was three steps behind the Winchesters, just outside Barnard Hall, when Dominic pounced. "Hey, man- ready to get me my pizza?"

Adam was surprised that Imogen hadn't got to Dominic yet. He'd expected a punch to the face, not a friendly tussle. Dominic would have been the first person she told about the gun, after all. He wondered why she'd kept quiet.

Sam and Dean turned around. "Adam?" Sam called.

"Yeah, hang on-"

Dominic turned round, spotting Adam's brothers. Crap. What was Adam meant to say? Well he didn't have to tell Dominic who they were...

"Uh, Dom?" He said, trying for his friend's attention. "We'll take a rain check on the pizza- I have somewhere to be this weekend, man."

Dominic looked between Sam and Dean and Adam. An understanding look crossed his face. "Yeah, ok. It's good you're talking to the grief counselors, man- I think it'll help you. Didn't know they took you away somewhere though. What do I know?"

Adam blinked. "What?"

"You know," Dominic said, pointing behind him. "Them."

Looking over at them, Sam gave him a small- guilty? - smile.

"So long as I get my pizza eventually," Dominic was saying. "Don't think you're wriggling out of that one, bro."

"Uh, yeah..." said Adam slowly, looking between Dominic and the Winchesters. "I should be back for Monday, yeah?"

"Yeah, take care man. Text me or somethin' if you get bored."

Adam nodded, "thanks man."

Dominic sauntered off, clapping Dean on the back as he went, telling him to keep an eye on "his boy."

What the hell-

"Hey!" Dean called, starting off for the nearest car park. "Pick up the pace."

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"So, you gonna tell me what that was about?" Adam asked as he settled into the back of the Impala once again. It felt as weird as it usually did with Dean behind the wheel, but Sam was sitting up front, and Adam didn't think that that would change anytime soon.

"What?" asked Dean.

"Dominic was under the impression that you were grief counselors," Adam drawled.

There was a suspicion dawning on him, though it hadn't fully realised itself yet. But it was starting to make sense... how else would Dean have known so much about him? It wasn't a secret that Sam and Dean posed under different identities and professions while they were on jobs- he'd seen them playing feds already.

"What, you want us to say it?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, you know, I think I do," said Adam.

"We were posing as grief counselors to get around the campus," Sam explained, turning around. "Got us in to talk to Jenny's friends... same thing with your friends, too." He smiled guiltily. "Sorry."

Adam frowned at him. "That's creepy, man."

"Exactly what I said!" Dean said, nudging Sam.

"Yeah, well." Adam saw Sam roll his eyes in the mirror.

"You could have just... called or something, you know," he said lightly. "Don't follow my friends around again- that's... just don't do it."

"Yeah, because you were in such a rush to talk to us before," Dean grumbled.

"Hey- at least I text Sam, you guys didn't hit me up once," Adam said, and the words came out more defensively than he'd planned. He couldn't help it- the silence from Sam had felt like more of a betrayal than he'd expected. Sure, Sam had helped him deal with Jenny's murder, but Adam hadn't bought up the text. He'd had no opportunity to. Right now, he supposed, was as good a time as any.

"What?" Sam turned around, cocking an eyebrow. "When?"

"Sometime over spring break," Adam said, narrowing his eyes. He didn't want to look at Sam just then, so he turned his head to stare out of the window instead.

"I didn't get anything," said Sam, looking confused. "Man, if I had, I would have sent something back- I wouldn't have just ignored you."

"Well I sent it," Adam said.

"And Sam said he didn't get it," said Dean. The tone of voice sounded rather accusatory to Adam, who responded angrily in kind.

"You calling me a liar?"

"What? No!" Dean exclaimed, taking a second to turn away from the road to frown back at him. "I'm saying- shit happens. Maybe it got lost- a phone line went down or somethin'- Sam wouldn't ditch you if you messaged him."

That soothed the flare of his temper- he'd half expected Dean to start yelling at him, not a legitimate explanation. Still, Adam couldn't help himself from adding; "Well I'm saying you could have tried that first instead of interrogating my friends. That's not cool."

"All right, we get it," said Dean loudly, "but you weren't exactly the most talkative person around, kid- you blew us off every chance you got."

"Yeah- like you were any different," Adam retorted, glaring at the back of Dean's head. "Don't put this all on me- you're the ones that messed up here."

Dean was about to say something, but the words died on his lips when Sam uttered a soft "huh."

Dean glanced at him. "What?"

Sam was looking at his phone. "You did text me..."

"That is what I just said," said Adam, annoyed.

"It's right here- 'Hey Sam. How's things?', sent Saturday March 14th at 7:33pm," Sam said slowly. "I actually think I remember now- but uh..."

"Zachariah," Dean growled.

"Yeah," Sam nodded.

"That son of a bitch," Dean growled under his breath.

Sam chuckled. "Yeah, that's, uh- one way of putting it."

"What am I missing?" Adam cut in, brow arched. "Who the hell is Zachariah?"

"An ass," said Dean quickly. "Don't worry about it."

"Point is," said Sam, "Adam, man- sorry, we weren't exactly ourselves when you sent this. It was... A weird couple of weeks-"

"No kidding," Dean muttered.

"I didn't know who you were, man," said Sam. "I didn't even know Dean was my brother- someone was messing with us. I must have forgot about the text later, sorry man."

Made Sam forget Dean was his brother? Must have been some head trip that the two had been sent on. With the weird he knew the Winchesters handled, he didn't think they were bullshitting...

"All right," he accepted, "fine. But my point still stands- you wanna check in on me, you come to me. You don't- my friends- don't bring them into it. Was following me around really easier than talking to me?"

"Yes," Dean replied flatly, no hesitation at all.

"What Dean means," said Sam, shooting a killer glare at the brother sitting across from him, and trying to soften the verbal blow, "was that- look, when it comes down to it- we are family, but you don't know us. And when we last spoke- well, you didn't want us around. We figured you were still feeling the same, so instead of- I dunno, bugging you- your friends would know how you were without being- weirded out about talking to us. And the following around- that's not... I didn't know about that," he said with a shrug.

So they'd gone with his friends because it was easier. There was something hurtful in that- his friends and his blood talking about him behind his back. He knew he hadn't made it easy for any of them, but there was something wrong there. He wondered how much they'd gleaned from his friends when Adam himself hadn't been keeping up with them as much, anyway.

Though it was true- he hadn't wanted to talk to Sam or Dean. He knew they were family- but they weren't family- not yet. Still, when he was faced with them a second time, it was a lot easier.

"If I hadn't caught Dean in the library," Adam said slowly, "would you even have told me you were there?"

"No," said Dean at the same time Sam said "yes."

Adam swallowed. Whether they'd reached an agreement presently or not; he supposed that if there was a reason he had yet to fully trust the Winchesters as 'family', that was it.

At least on that front they were honest. As honest as two people who made a career out of lying could be, anyway.

"Right," said Adam, leaning back in his seat. It was suddenly much too stuffy and Adam rolled down the window. Dean was driving so fast by this point that the loud rush of air against the car was drowning out anything else that he or Sam were saying, and Adam breathed deeply.

He didn't want to be hurt by Dean's admission- but a small part- the tiniest corner of a speck in the deepest chasm of his chest did hurt at it. He didn't regard these people as family, but they were still something.

If that wasn't stupidly frustrating, he didn't know what was.

He didn't even like the Winchesters. Dean was an ass, and Sam- Sam may have been less of an ass- he'd at least helped Adam- but it sounded like he'd also propagated the idea to go behind Adam's back and follow his friends around, even if shadowing Adam himself was a step too far for him. That- that was pretty assholeish behaviour. Then there was John, and that was a whole other bag of issues.

Thoughts of his father inevitably bought up thoughts of his mother, and Adam frowned, rolling the window back up. That was enough air for now.

Dean had stuck a cassette on sometime in the past five minutes- really- who used cassettes anymore?- and the car sped down another highway. It was some rock band, he guessed- John had been fond of the same genre, and Adam wouldn't say he didn't hold a fondness for it himself, but when his musing was so dark, the music was unwanted. It just bought up more bad memories. Dean had it at such a screeching volume Adam couldn't ignore it even if he wanted to.

God, was he tired.

He wasn't subjected to the music for that long, however, as not even another ten minutes later, Dean stopped the music and sniffed.

"Now I thought I was just imagining things first, but you guys can't tell me you don't smell that," he said.

Adam, who'd been zoning out and maybe even on track to drifting off, blinked, and sat up.

"What?" Sam asked, also sniffing.

"I dunno man, it smells like bad food or somethin'. And I know I got rid of the fast food we had in here already."

Adam took a sneaky sniff of his own, and sure enough the faint whiff of vomit filled his nostrils.

Huh.

Clearly Sam hadn't been completely successful in getting his shoes clean before getting back in the car the night before. Whoops.

Adam, who was sat behind Dean, had a perfect view of Sam right then. The realisation of what he was sniffing hit him the same time it did Adam, and he squirmed.

"What?" asked Dean, shooting a look over at him.

"I don't smell anything," Sam lied. Lied!

Adam bit back a smirk and rolled his window back down a crack, sinking down in his seat and getting comfortable.

Karma, man.

He leaned back and let his eyes slip shut.

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So like... it's two days after a Wednesday... like… 3 years later than I planned to update? Wuh. I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say aside from that my mental health got the better of me and I was kind of out of commission for a while. I'm a bit better now… things still fluctuate, but it's slow improvement. I'll update as regularly as I can between my health, motivation, and my last year of uni and subsequent career moves? Luckily I found half this chapter already written, so I had something to start off from after the long break. I'm not sure if any of my original readers are still here, but if you are, you have my sincerest apologies. This chapter was wayyyyy way overdue. It's short, but it's something. I have 4k of the next one done, too. Til next time :) Happy new year!