Mabel and her brother slowly came to. They were exiting a musty, dirty car that reeked of dirty dealings and had been put to sleep and blindfolded an hour earlier. The twins opened their eyes to an old man holding a burlap bag smiling at them.
"Kids, welcome to Gravity central park!" Stan greeted. "Get up you two, there's been more unconscious people in this car than I can remember."
This was not how Dipper and Mabel expected their day to go. One minute, they were eating special "Stancakes" before blacking out and waking up now.
They looked around at the park they were in. Compared to the scenery back home in Oregon, this seemed more like an urban jungle than anything. Nevertheless, there were many occupants, runners, cops and people walking their pets.
"Grunkle Stan, what are we doing here? I thought you hated nature" Dipper complained while his sister yawned.
"Boy, this 'park' as the town people call it barely qualifies as nature. There're more lampposts than trees and I think that creek is just the city's sewer above ground." He looked at their confused, sleepy faces and sighed.
"Look kids, I've been thinking. You two are only here for the summer, and we've barely had any interaction since you got here. So, we're going to have a day to bond."
"Is this going to be anything like our last 'bonding session'?" They all thought back to an incident a week earlier where Stan was teaching them to steal tires from cars. The crime had earned them a night in a gang hideout and Mabel had become pen pals with the mob boss.
"Oooh, that reminds me, he's getting married! Now should I get him a blender or a human foot? He needs a blender but I feel a foot is more personal."
"C'mon, It'll be fun! Just us, the park and these baseballs to play catch with." He beckoned to the bag. "Here, catch!" Stan yelled as he threw one at Dipper.
The projectile hit him in the stomach and fell to the ground with a hard THUD.
"UFF! Grunkle Stan, what's in these baseballs?"
"Rocks. Regular baseball is too 'kid friendly' nowadays, and no family of mine is gonna play softball!" And Stan threw another rock
"Ow! This isn't how you play catch" he yelled while Stan threw more rocks at his nephew.
"You're right. You're supposed to catch them. Here you go, sweetie." Stan handed Mabel a dozen stones.
She grinned and started throwing rocks as well.
"Yeah, Dipper, get into the spirit! If you don't start throwing those rocks, you'll be penalized for being rude and bad sportsmanship" she said and threw another ball and hit his face.
"Ow!" He yelled and picked one up. "Alright, here we go, just aim and throw the rock. Just aim and.. ngh!" Dipper grunted and threw one of the projectiles.
The ball sailed over Mabel and hit a car before setting off it's alarm and landing on the sidewalk.
Dipper sharply inhaled and they all ran over to where the ball landed.
"Ok , remember what we learned. We were just walking through the park when suddenly, Bud Gleeful showed up with a baseball." He was cut off by a Brown dog sniffing the ball they had thrown.
"Awww, I think he likes it!" Mabel squealed and immediately kneeled next to it and began patting it's head.
"Ummm, Mabel? I don't think you should be petting someone else's-"
"Hey! What're you two dorks doing with my dog!" A familiarly angry voice yelled.
They turned around and Stan groaned and pinched his brow. The dog apparently belonged to the Southwests, Gravity Central's richest family.
"What seems to be the problem here?" asked a large built officer as he walked towards them with a dim looking deputy in tow.
"Sheriff Blubs, the Pines family were touching my dog!" She pointed angrily at them.
"What? He just went up to us while we were playing catch" Dipper explained.
"Yeah, I think he likes us. Do you like Mabel, boy?" she asked excitedly and it barked, tail wagging.
"Officers!" Pacifica started furiously.
The large officer chuckled delightfully. "Maybe if you country folk spent less time 'round animals they wouldn't think you were one a them!"
The two cops hooted in laughter and Stan looked like he was about to be charged with assualting a police offficer.
"Why I oughta-"
"Now you folks run along. Mr. Pines, remember you have a restraining order on anyone in the Southwest family"
So, the Pines left the park with Pacifica smirking at them as they left.
"Ugh, why does Pacifica have to always make things hard for us?" Dipper wondered.
"Kid, the Northwests have been nothing but a pain in my hairy neck since I moved here. It's what they're all like. How about we go TP their mansion to bond instead? What'dya say Mabel? Mabel?" Stan was looking at his niece who had a very determined look on her face.
"Grunkle Stan, I've decided. I want a pet" She said to her uncle.
"Why? We've already got you two. Ha!" Stan chortled and slapped his knee.
"I'm not gonna let Pacifica have a better pet than me, and those jerky officers can bite a rock. I say we go buy a pet for revenge purposes."
"Buying something spitefully expensive in order to feel better than someone? Sounds great! But I'm not going to have some freeloading, non-rent paying animal live under my roof if it isn't related to me."
"Just get her the pet. Last time, she wanted to be hunter and dressed me up as a deer when our parents wouldn't let her go to the forest." Dipper shuddered at the horrifying 8 hours he spent avoiding Mabel's hand knit nets and traps.
"A deer person, eh? That sounds like a great scam! I'll call it, 'Deerper' and charge people for drawing art of him" Stan pondered deviously.
"I'll dress him up if you do get me a pet" she offered.
"Deal!" And the two walked towards the shady district of town with a reluctant Dipper following.
The shop was cramped and noisy with a vast array animals in cages lining the walls. Even so, Mabel skipped in and started browsing the selection.
"Hey there folks, anythin I can help you with?" The trio was approached by an old gentleman wearing suspenders and a barbershop quartet hat.
"Yeah, we want an animal, and uh" Stan leaned in close to the man's ear. "Preferably something that doesn't live too long, y'know? Don't want anything living longer than I do."
"Well, sure we got all kindsa animals here. Live animals, dead animals, part animals. I even got some kinda bearded man-witch" The farmer said, pointing to Old man McGucket who was in a cage laughing.
"Adopt me! I'll make sure ta keep ya awake at night! Hehehehahahaa!" McGucket cackled as he rattled the bars of his unlocked cage.
They looked around the shop and saw many strange things. Along with cats and turtles, there were even things that looked like frogfish or large eagle owls with human-like shrieks.
Dipper browsed some of the stranger things, making mental notes as he went.
"Hey what's that?" Mabel pointed to a large cage at the back of the shop.
Inside was a massive crocodile, 8 feet curled into the relatively small cage and a scar over one eye. It stared at the brunette boy, breathing quietly.
"Wow, I wrestled one of these! I got disqualified for using an illegal choke hold. Those darn rednecks don't know what they were talking about" Stan growled.
"This'n? This here's evisceratey, I found her in the ole sewer river down at the park. Forgot why I named 'er that. Welp, time for feedin time." The creepy farmer man said and pulled out a small pig from a box.
Mabel gasped at the sight of the mini swine. It was chubby and pink with a spot over one eye and staring innocently at her.
"Oh no" Her brother said behind her.
Mabel walked up to the Farmer man, now trying to open the cage lock.
"Sir, I must have this pig." She told him, picking up the tiny hog sitting on top of the cage. The little pig snorted and licked her chin affectionately. Meanwhile, the croc stared hungrily from below.
"Well, it ain't gonna be much use as croc food unless you buy the croc."
"Yeah, yeah. Just give us the pig and let's go." Stan interrupted.
"Well, I dunno why you'd want just the pig, but here you go, ole fifteen-poundy."
"What is that, his weight?"
"It's how much he costs."
Stan turned to his grandniece and nephew. "Good news, kids! If the money isn't in American, it's free!"
He then proceeded to pull out a fistful of smile dip and blew the powder into his face, blinding the man and sending him into a hallucinogenic rage.
"Run kids! Run faster than the speed of law!" Yelled Stan, as all three ran out of the shop leaving the owner tearing off his shirt and rolling around, knocking over cages.
Unbeknownst to them, a rolling hallucinating man hit the crocodile cage, knocking the unlatched door open. The cages inhabitant slithered free through the back of the shop, hungry and on the loose.
That night, everyone in the Shop was settling in. Mabel was laying on her bed staring at her pig and Dipper just finished being fitted for a deer costume.
"Hey Dippity-Dop, what should I name my new pig?" She asked her twin who was now checking himself for blue hoof.
"I don't know. How about 'The reason Dipper now has to register in a deer population census?"
"Nah too long." She thought and looked at it's stubby little legs.
"Waddles!" She exclaimed. "I call him that cause he waddles."
"Mabel, do you feel, I dunno, concerned about that guy whose shop we wrecked? I feel like a lot of his cages weren't locked."
"I'm concerned for my health." She picked the pig up and held it's hooves. "Cuz I think I have Swine Flue!"
"Mabel this is serious. I really think we should-"
"Bap!" She poked him with one of Waddles hooves.
"Mabel-"
"Boop!"
"Mab-"
"Boop!"
She continued to poke her brother's face with the pig's stubby appendages into submission. Just then, Stan walked in with the burlap bag again.
"Alright kids, drop whatever it is you're doing. Whatever weird, weird thing you're doing" Stan said staring at the twins. Mabel smiled and stopped harassing her brother.
"We're going back to the park to try this 'bonding thing' again. Get your things."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? I've had this really weird feeling since we left the pet store. I think we should go back."
"There's nothing out there your Grunkle Stan can't handle. Besides, I've also got a bunch of these illegally rock filled balls."
"Yeah Dipper, Stan's wrestled crocodiles! Besides, now I can take Waddles on a walk."
Stan and Mabel walked out of the door of the room and Dipper followed anxiously. The feeling in his stomach had not gone away, and he couldn't help feel as if it was coming from the pipes.
The Gravity Central park was busy with children playing, joggers jogging and an old man trying playing catch with his nephew.
"Kid, I know you aren't good at sports but can you at least try throwing one back" Stan asked.
Dipper picked up a ball and strained to throw it, just falling short of Stan and landing in the grass.
"Isn't there some better way to bond, Grunkle Stan? I feel like something's broken" Dipper complained.
"Kid, there's nothing broken but your spirit and we don't need that to work to play. Professional players don't. Now let's try again. You're using your arm too much, try stepping forward when you throw, it helps" His uncle advised.
Dipper picked up a heavy sports ball and tried again, this time winding up and leaning forward as he threw. The ball sailed over his uncle and hit a passing bicyclist.
"Ow! Who threw that?!" He yelled angrily.
"I... I did it! I threw that ball!" Dipper yelled proudly.
"Yeah yeah, good job kid. If the cop's come around, no you didn't. Now let's try again without breaking any laws or windows."
Meanwhile, a young brown haired girl was getting ice cream with her pig near the sewer pipe the creek ran from.
"You stay here Waddles. I'm going to get us some ice cream with sprinkles and glitter" She told her pet.
She set the pig down onto a bench which sat happily near the river shore.
"Hey, do you have pentagrahams?"
But a distance away, something was watching from under the river's murky water. It peered over the waterline with a single, reptilian eye, staring at it's prey.
Waddles curiously watched the creek from it's place on the bench. He hopped down from the bench and trotted over to the waterfront. Just beneath the surface, it waited.
Then, all at once, the crocodile burst out of the water, snapping and narrowly missing it's would-be prey. Waddles squealed in terror and ran towards the sewer entrance, the lizard in pursuit.
"Waddles!?" Mabel instantly turned around dropping her triple scoops of ice cream. She had turned around just in time to see her pig disappear into the darkness and the crocodile crawling in after it.
"AAAHHHHHH!" Mabel screamed, running through the park panicking.
"Mabel, what's wrong?" Dipper and Stan had stopped their game to check on Mabel.
"AAHHHHHH!"
"Mabel-"
"It took Waddles!"
"What happened?"
She took her Dipper's collar, slapping him three times.
"Calm down, man! We need. to stay. CALM!" She finally put him down and explained.
"Me and Waddles were getting ice cream by the river, and this big lizard thing jumped out and chased Waddles into the sewer!"
"What?! We need to get the police, or animal control or... whatever it is that eats crocodiles"
Grunkle Stan shook his head. "Kid, the officers you saw were pretty much the entire police force. They wouldn't be able to get rid of hippies from a job office"
"We can't just sit by! There's a dangerous monster in there with my pig and either you two come with me, or I'm going in by myself."
Before anyone could respond, the squeals from the pipe echoed again from the tunnels. Mabel spun towards the sound and ran into the lightless system.
"Waddles, I'm coming!"
"Mabel, wait!" Her brother called after her.
And with that, they chased after Mabel into the dark.
The sewer was dark and as expected, smelled like... well, you know. Small noises and large figures crawled in the shadow, just beyond the reach of Mabel's dim Fun Hazard which had sustained it's light for three days using Mabel's happiness.
"Waddles! Waddles, where are you!" Mabel shouted through the tunnels.
"Do you guys feel like something's watching you? I think this is the only place in Gravity Central with worse health hazards then the Shop" Dipper commented, skirting around various dark patches in the sewer fluid.
"Hey, that's not true! One year, I bought some monkey from Africa with a disease to get the dirty kale-munchers off my back. Turns out it had some deadly, blood transmitted disease that proceeded to spread worldwide and kill people. I forgot what it was called, but I think some magical sports player has it now."
The trio trudged through the sewers, keeping a close eye out for anything that looked like it moved or wasn't moving anymore.. Dipper shuddered at the thought that they were wading through things so horrible that they didn't meet Stan's standards as items for the Shop. Stan, who had once sold a dead body to a man, calling it a 'sleeping zombie' and got $100 dollars for it.
Then, he started noticing the shapes in the water. The dark patches had smaller spots attached to them... No, they were limbs.
"Hey guys, take a look at this."
He took out his flashlight from his bag and shined it into the water, and everyone took a step back from what was under the surface.
A massive turtle, almost 6 feet in diameter was resting just under foot. It's claws were the size of catcher's mitts and it's head looked like it could snap off heads. The peak of it's back was just under the waterline, and while not moving, it twitched periodically indicating it was alive.
"Whoah! How'd it get so big?" Mabel wondered.
"I've never seen anything like it! I thought that reptiles in the sewer was just a myth, like $2 dollar bills and happy marriage! Hey, I can sell these. I'll call it 'Journey: The Mysterious Craphole!'" Stan announced.
"I wonder how they got so big. There must be some kind of anomaly down here or-"
"REEEEEET!"
A familiar squeal of terror echoed through the tunnels and Mabel's head snapped back towards the noise.
"Come on, he's in trouble!" Mabel and Stan ran down the passage and around a corner, but Dipper unfortunately tripped over a turtle before stumbling on.
"Mabel? Stan? Where are you!" He shouted.
"In here!"
He passed the turn and froze at the sight of his uncle and sister in front of a monster. The crocodile was gargantuan, almost half as thick as the sewer's diameter and rose taller than Stan. However, the scar over it's eye identified it as the same one from the pet store, and it had cornered Waddles beneath an open manhole cover.
Dipper hurriedly took out his journal, and flipped to a familiar he had been thinking of since encountering the turtles. He stopped and read aloud to himself.
"Size enhancing crystals: During my studies in Gravity Central, I've found a most peculiar substance in the sewer system. As my investigation has lead me, I have come to discover that the sewer system is built into an underground river from the strange part of town I've been investigating thus far. The river is fed from a cave system that grows special salts that, with prolonged ingestion, causes extreme growth in size and strength. Still too gross to try. Weaknesses: Nothing, stay out of sewers"
"Hey you! Get away from my pig, you outdated apex predator!" His sister shouted.
It turned around to look at the small, yet larger morsel challenging it. It growled, plodding towards her. Then, a heavy ball smacked into it's snout.
It turned towards it's new offender, now throwing more rocks, allowing his niece to run past the creature.
"Come at me ugly, let's play hardball! Raaaggggh!" Stan dropped the bag and jumped onto it's snout and it began flailing around, trying to shake off it's unwanted rider.
Dipper ran around the reptile, jumping over it's claws and narrowly avoiding it's swinging tail. He rejoined Mabel who was now holding her pig with joy.
Stan held tight to the thing's jaw and yelled, "No scaly skinned monster is going harass these kids but me!"
Mabel started climbing up the ladder, Dipper close behind.
"Stan, come on! We have to go!"
"Just a second, kids! I think I'm in an illegal hold!" The crocodile had the man in it's mouth staring into it's throat, barely able to keep it from closing.
"Dipper, we have to help him!"
"I know, I know I'm thinking!" He looked around and found a single ball. He picked it up and steadied his breathing. He winded up, stepped forward and threw, straight into the single, functioning eye of the croc.
Blinded, even for a second, Stan was able to push backwards out of it's mouth, letting it close with a SNAP! He picked up his fez which had fallen off and ran to the manhole ladder.
Disoriented, the monster was unable to catch any of them on their way out, narrowly missing Stan's leg before Mabel shut the lid of the manhole.
They all breathed heavily at their experience, catching their breath. Waddles was safe, and they were alive, but shaken.
"Yes! Mammals are still better than reptiles!" Stan punched into the air.
He looked at his exhausted family and stopped.
"What, too soon?"
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Hope y'all enjoyed it, had a couple issues with this one but I like how it turned out. Going to start adding vigenere ciphers at the end of my chapters and releasing the key at the next . Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the weird stuff I have planned.
23-12-9 7-7-13-17-8-8 7-18-3-5-9-2 19-10 11-23-9 10-18-25-24-25-12-9-10-23-23 1-26-1-16 5-8-26-9-9 17-9 18-15-16-19-14-20-8 11-18 16-9-18-11-9 11-11-9 18-22-8-24