"Wow! I can't believe they let the waitresses here roller skate" Mabel exclaimed. "If I ever decide to get a job, this'll definitely be my 2nd choice behind dictator."

Lazy Susan's 1950's themed 70's diner with 60's music was packed that afternoon with patrons from all over Gravity central. Dan the construction worker was sitting at the bar drinking a glass of malt shake with a lumberjack's breakfast and Susan was trying to get the jukebox to work by hitting it. Officer Blubs was helping his deputy, Durland, color in a paper place mat maze as servers zoomed across the checkered floor on wheeled shoes.

"Yes, this establishment is certainly nice" Gideon commented. "My daddy insured this place against electrical fires a year ago and they ran into a little accident a while back. Now I get some benefits as a result."

The two had just finished a meal together, and evidence of multiple sugary drinks were littered on Mabel's side. This was their 3rd time out, having gone to the movies, the park (Not Mabel's first choice) and now, Gideon had a small surprise in store for her. He had entrusted it to the owner and was hoping it would come soon.

"Well, I'm glad that happened. Say, what're we waiting for? I promised Dipper that we would hang out today."

"Don't you ever get tired of your brother? Maybe wish for him to, I dunno, disappear?" The chubby little boy asked deviously.

"What? Nah, course not! He's my twin bro. Kinda like having a second me but with boy stuff instead of girl stuff and dork stuff instead of fun stuff"

Just then, lazy Susan walked up to their table with an envelope, placing it on the table in between them.

"You cutie pies are so good together! I could just eat you two up!" Lazy Susan told them before walking away.

"Cutie pies? Now what was that lady talking about?" Mabel gave a weird smile towards the old hostess.

"Now that's just the thing Mabel; There's been a lil' question lil' ol me has been wantin to ask you." He patted the envelope in front of her and smiled at her.

She looked at him quizzically and she had a small feeling of apprehension in her stomach while reaching for the note. Mabel tore open the parcel and started to read the message out loud.

"Dear peach dumpling," she read, her smile slowly falling. "How would you like to make us official and be my..." She trailed off and looked up at his expectant face, awaiting an answer.

"Ummm look, Gideon." The inexperienced girl searched for an easy way to tell him while tucking the note into her pocket. "I really like you, but..."

"So you accept?" He finished hopefully.

"No, it's just that-"

"Why be a dictator when you can be my queen? We could be together. Forever." Gideon put his hand over Mabel's and she nervously pulled it back.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I'll have time for a, umm. Boyfriend." She winced inside at how that sounded.

"You seem to have time for your brother"

"Yeah, but that's different. Dipper and me always hang out together."

"So you don't want to be together?"

"NO! I mean, yes! I mean, maybe as friends"

Luckily, a loud car honk was heard from outside, instantly ruining the meals of many of the patrons. Mabel breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey I gotta go but maybe we could pick this up again in like a non-datey way." She began to inch towards the edge of the seat. Gideon watched her begin to leave and thought back to an idea he had arranged if he ever decided to use it. And now, he decided, it was time. This had happened too many times now.

"It's okay, I completely understand. Forget this ever happened." He still had a forced smile on his face containing his disappointment.

Mabel looked as if a massive burden had been lifted off her shoulders and made her way towards the exit.

"Oh, and Mabel?" He called as she stopped to look back.

"If you or your brother ever get stuck on any games, make sure to check the back of the machine" He advised.

"Okay, sure!" And with that, she was gone out the door and into her Grunkle's car.


After parking perpendicular to a handicapped space, they arrived at the Gravity Central arcade.

"This is it kids, the shadiest place in town for kids! It's like having a casino for children" Stan announced, leading his kids through the sticky floor.

The establishment itself was brightly lit and alive with flashing lights coming from the games. A large variety of people manned each station, and Dipper noticed a familiar bald man who stooped behind a machine. A light flashes, and he was gone but it wasn't a big deal. This was like the third time this happened.

"Back in my day, we didn't have your fancy computer phones, or home entertainment systems or color TVs"

"Psst! How old do you think Stan is" Dipper asked his sister, who shrugged.

"This is where the most talented losers of society can spend money to win at games, yet still lose to corporation. Hey Soos" He greeted while walking by.

"Hey Mr. Pines!" The handyman returned and went back to his oddly intensive game of pinball.

"They got all the classics: Pica-Man, Moral Combat" He stopped at a blue machine with a small red clad pixel character jumping around.

"And who could forget Commie Kong? You get to play as a Russian carpenter who has to rescue his mail order bride from the evil clutches of-"

"A gorrilla, Stan?" Dipper guessed.

"Capitalism. Then you play through 22 levels so you can inevitably die anyway like the soviet union" His Grunkle finished. "But that isn't even the best one" he continued, walking past the machine to the final one at the back of the store.

"Oh no, he's using his scamming voice."

"Behold!" He presented a large game, just like the ones before but had the name DragonDragon faded on the top.

"What is that? And is was everything old blurry?" Mabel squinted at the screen.

"I used to play this game all the time! The games all about two brothers who go out and fight gang members to win some girl" He reminisced fondly.

"Did you ever win this game, Stan?"

"Course not kid! That final boss's impossible to beat without another person or cheating. Welp, I need to take the car into the shop for an oil change. Here's a dollar, you kids hang around here while I leave you unattended." He gave them a 1$ each and ran outside, tires screeching two seconds later.

"So, what to do with an entire Dollar?" Mabel wondered, holding the crumpled bill up.

"Hey dudes!" Wendy and Robbie had come out of nowhere and startled Dipper into a fluster.

"Uhhh hey, whatsup Wendy? And umm Robbie." He tried to contain the amount of nervous sweat and general tween boyishness he was exerting.

"Hey, Mabel and Dipper! Check out what I got you." Robbie handed out a small jar of Maple syrup and a cup of Dippin' commas.

"Oh my gosh, Robbie, that's so lame!" The redhead laughed.

"So what brings you two lovebirds here?" Mabel grinned suggestively while her brother died inside slightly.

"We hang out here all the time. We were just about to try dancey pants revolution, you guys want to join?" She offered.

"No, I couldn't possibly interrupt your time together. But Dipper can." She pushed him towards the couple, who led a betrayed looking 12 year old to the flashing pads.

Mabel stood up straight, completely pleased with herself. "There's no way that can go wrong, this was a good idea" she smiled.

That's when she noticed a dark coat and a familiar color of hair tucked into a black baseball hat at the Sugar High machine, a game about candy based planes and machines that flew in a race.

"Don't I know her?" Mabel squinted and looked closer at her subject. "Oh hey, I do! Hey, Pacifica!"

The covered figure gave a small reaction and returned to her game trying to ignore her observer.

"Hey Pacifica! Pacifica Southwest!" People were now turning heads to see what the yelling was about. " I'm associating myself with you! Pacifi-" The figure finally turned around to put it's hand over her mouth and dragged her into a nearby cleaning supply room but hardly anyone noticed.

Pacifica took off her hat and glared angrily at her unveiler.

"What do you think you're doing, you idiot!?" She hissed.

"Hey, it is you! What's with the weirdly suspicious disguise?"

"That's none of your business! Anyway, now I have to leave before I'm seen or someone sees me with you." The heiress crossed her arms and sneered.

"We just met up though, and I love Sugar High! One game and if I win, you tell me why you're being all secret-y"

"Not a chance"

"Ok, how about If you win, you I won't tell anyone you like poor people games. And you get a servant" She added.

"And If you win?"

"Then me and Dipper hang around you for a day. Deal?" Mabel held out her hand.

She shook it reluctantly. "Whatever. It's not like I have a choice."

"That's just as good as agreeing! Let's go!" Mabel took her hand and ran out of the closet, dragging an immediately regretful blonde with her.


Meanwhile, an old car was had burst onto the freeway from an entrance, completely disregarding turn signals on the empty road and skidding across the lanes, speeding even more so than usual.

Stan checked the time. 2:58 pm. He still had time before it happened, he had to get there before it was too late!

The Cadillac ran down the street like a devil, only a few miles from the mechanics. He checked the time again, now 2:59.

"No no no no no, I have to get there soon or-" he stopped the car to a screeching halt behind a sea of cars, packed in an unmovable mass, stuck only half a mile from the autoshop.

"No, this can't be happening. I can still take service street, its not too late." He tried backing up as quickly as possible to the nearest exit but the time had changed again. It was 3:00 and rush hour had begun.

In a single instance hundreds of cars rushed in through the entrances and vehicles appeared out of nowhere to surround Stan and in a few seconds, his car was buried in an ocean with no way out.

"Grrrrr... CURSE YOU RUSH HOUR TRAFIIIIIIC!" Stan screamed into the air amidst the honking of angry drivers.


Back at the arcade, Mabel and Pacifica were playing at the Sugar High game, racing down the Grand Twix stage. Pacifica was playing as Toffanee (A dark skinned British girl) was leading on a plane made of brittle. She was followed by Trixie Treats, Caramaline, and Mabel in last playing as Charlotte Chip in a rocket made of pop rocks (Predictably named The Pop Rocket).

"Looks like I'm gonna win" The blonde told her competitor with a smirk.

"Nope! I've got a little trick up my sweater" Mabel replied.

"Hah! Sounds like someone's about to lose."

"Not a chance!" Then, Mabel mashed a series of nonsensical buttons she had found on the back of the machine before playing causing her rocket to crash into a building.

"What are you doing? That's just tragic." She gaped at the seemingly sweet girl who had just caused an act of terrorism in the virtual candyland.

"Just watch."

A few seconds later as Pacifica's plane was about to cross the finish line, The Pop Rocket reappeared in front of it, winning the game.

She looked in shock at the screen congradulation and pointed angrily to her opponent. "Hey, you cheated!"

"That doesn't matter. What's important, is that we can spend the rest of the day together!" Mabel smiled.

Then, her brother walked in with a mixture of dejection and gawkiness on his face.

"Hey Dippin dots!"

"Don't call me that." he muttered.

"What happened? I thought you'd have a lot of fun hanging out with Wendy?" his sister asked.

"Robbie found a code to unlock a 'slow dance' setting on the machine. I mean, how does that even make sense? Who would program a couple's song into what's supposed to be a single player game?"

"Aww, that's too bad. But guess what?" She stepped back to reveal the girl behind her. "We get to hang out with Pacifica for the rest for the day!"

"What?! Mabel, did she blackmail you?"

"Uhhh, try the opposite." The blonde rolled her eyes. "I lost a rigged bet and now I have to stay with you two dorks for the rest of the day."

"C'mon you two! It'll be fun. Let's try one of those old man games Stan was talking about." Mabel pulled each by their hands towards the machine in the back, ignoring their numerous objections.

The DragonDragon machine was still there, art of the fighters on the side and pixelated lights flashing from it's screen. Apparently, the game featured the Jitsu brothers, Ty and Jude whose girlfriend gets kidnapped by a gang. 8 bit music played, and Dipper had the usual weirdness radar go off in his stomach.

"Hey Mabel? Do you feel something weird or cursed about this? I feel like every time we try to do something normal, It's interrupted by some demon, or cursed object."

"Oh yeah, good point. You go check the journal and see if this thing is going to come alive and eat us or something."

Pacifica was looking confused. Again. The twins ended up being stranger than she thought..

"What are you talking about? What journal?"

"Oh, yeah we forgot to tell you. Me and Dipper found this creepy book in the supernatural part of town and now we encounter monsters and weird stuff like every week." She turned to her brother. "So, you find any evidence this thing might kill us?"

"No, there's nothing here about cursed games. Should be safe." Dipper flipped through the pages some more and shut the book.

"Ok! Well, you two go play since I'm out of money. I'm going to to check on something." And with that ambiguous statement, she left her brother and kind-of friend to start the game while she bounced to the back of the machine.

Both players tried as hard as they could to just focus on the game while awkwardly avoiding eye contact. The only noises heard were the sounds of punches and kicks from the screen as gang members were being beaten into submission and the pair advanced through the levels. Finally, Dipper decided to break the silence.

"So what is it you're doing in this arcade anyway? I thought you didn't like being around people like us."

It was hard to tell her reaction since she seemed to only focus on the screen as they advanced another few levels. "Well, it's not like I have a lot of places to go. Sometimes I have to be out, you know? It gets boring in the Southwest Penthouse."

"I thought you could just buy happiness from other people" he said out loud. Crap. It sounded a lot less insensitive in his head, but she actually laughed. Hmm. She was surprisingly more pleasant when she was happy. And her laugh was nice at least.

"A girl can't spend all her time indoors. Besides, these games are a lot more fun than playing by myself on a console."

"Maybe we can come over sometime" he offered, but before she could respond, they had hit the boss of the level, a muscular dark skinned man with a Mohawk.

The players focused back on the fight but none of the attacks worked on the sprite and were rapidly losing health. Then, Mabel appeared.

"Hey you guys! Guess what I just found?"

"Umm Mabel?" Dipper replied. "We're in the middle of a really important match."

"Yeah, and we're losing" Pacifica added.

"That's just it, I found this cool code on the back of the machine you can activate whenever." She held up a slip of paper from it's hiding spot in the recess of the machine.

"Mabel, we're not going to cheat" he objected. Then, his character died from a punch from the thing

"Alright, let's cheat."

"Cheat, cheat, cheat!" They chanted and entered the code through Dipper's side.

As soon as the final button was pushed into the controller, the game froze. A small sliver of health remand in the player 2 side, and the system was suspended as if time stopped. Even the blocky music had stopped.

"Hey, what's wrong with this thing? Come on, start working!" She kicked the machine and the screen went white. A few seconds later, the a flash of light engulfed all three of them and they disappeared into the game.


At the same time, Stan was stuck in something worse. Traffic. He had been stuck there for 2 hours in the same spot listening to annoying radio and reading The Gravity Central Tabloids. The Southwests had gotten some new worker to diversify their staff or something.

Then, he began to notice the shouting. Stan rolled down his window to see people getting out of their cars and shoving each other in the spaces between cars.

"Hey, what's going on?"

An angry looking truck driver turned to his car on his way into a riot. "We're all tired of waiting in this road! I have my daughter's cello recital to go to before she goes to med school!"

"A riot? Well that sounds like fun!" Stan got out of his car to join the ensuing chaos when the cops arrived on motorcycles to break up the fights.

"All of you civilians need to stand down! Stand down before we are required to use force!" The police shouted through a megaphone. "Stand down or you will all be a lot of trouble!"

"Well you're about to be in a lot of PAIN!" Stan punched the poor officer in the stomach who fell to the ground gasping for backup.

"Yeah, now you're getting it!" a voice shouted from the crowd

"Everyone do what he's doing!" another voice was yelling.

Suddenly, the old man had an idea. He picked up the cop's megaphone and climbed onto his car.

"My name is Stanford Pines! I know not the mysterious ways of the traffic, but we must abide by it's will!" A large crowd had formed around his car, and listening to his every word. "If we are to get out there is only one way to salvation!"

"Amen!" The crowd rejoiced and some even started punching each other for no apparent reason.

"We must riot, violently! Join the church of Stantology I just made up for 200 dollars and you can fight against popo with me!" He raised a fist and the crowd went into a frenzy, throwing money at their "savior".

As more police came in on motor bikes and even the riot police appeared, people began to flip over cars and push back the authority while Stan laughed maniacally from atop his Cadillac.

"Yes! Yes my mob, fight in the name of bad traffic! Ahahahaha!"


At the arcade, the twins were stuck in the game. They had been teleported into the final boss fight, with Pacifica nowhere to be seen. Luckily, being completely used to this kind of thing by now, and the fact that Dipper figured this would happen, they weren't too surprised. Mabel had only narrowly avoided being squashed, but now her brother was being chased around by the unnamed villain.

"Dipper, eat a mushroom! I saw this work somewhere, you'll become super buff!"

"Ahh!" The boss's fist cracked the wall he was backed up against only a moment earlier. "Mushrooms don't do that Mabel, Stan taught us that needles do!"

"Dipper, watch out!"

Unfortunately, Dipper was now backed against the edge of the screen with the computer now advancing. He looked around and blindly reached into an oil drum as his attacker prepared to finish him. His hands felt around and gripped a hard metal object.

Bang!

The next moment, his assailant was on the ground bleeding from a square shaped hole in his chest, coughing up red pixels.

"Tell my daughter... I did it to put her through Med school. And tell my son to be strong, for his mother" it gasped dramatically and died. It's body flickered out of existence with a cheerful Ping! and a the number 1000 appeared where his body was. An automated voice cheerfully announced, "Congratulations, you have won! You are a winner!"

"Did you know he could talk?" Dipper asked.

"Nope, but I do know this is like your second time offing a colored person."

"They weren't even human!"

"That's prejudice talking, bro. Now come on, I think I know where Pacifica went."

The kids walked to the edge of the screen, and entered the next stage where the blonde girl was waiting, arms crossed. Despite that, she looked slightly relieved to see them, although a bit angry.

"There you are! Where've you been? " She interrogated.

"Pacifica, there'll be plenty of time to answer all your questions once we're out of here." And as if on cue, the the world around them began to flicker just like the enemy. They all became pixels which flew into the computer generated sky.

Moments later, they re-materialized outside the DragonDragon box. Dipper rubbed his head and the girls groaned while the voice was asking if they wanted to play again.

"Ugh. What just happened? If I don't get some answers that make sense I'm suing you two!" The heiress stood up indignantly.

"Don't worry, this stuff happens all the time. Maybe we can talk about it next time we hang out?" Mabel suggested hopefully.

"Are you kidding me!? After this? I'll be lucky to even get out now if they find out!" Pacifica immediately regretted saying it.

"Wait who? If who will find out?" Dipper asked. She walked over to the back wall and sat down, knees tucked in.

"It's my parents. You want to know why I was in a disguise today? I can't leave the estate without their permission. They don't know I was out here and if they knew what happened today, I'd be grounded until I left for college."

"But why? Why would they do that?"

"They don't want their 'precious little girl' to get in trouble. If I ever made a bad impression in public, It would ruin the Southwest name. Other than that, they don't care about what I do."

Mabel and Dipper sat down next to her, feeling bad for the fun they use to have at her expense, thinking it was fine because she was rich.

"I guess I've just felt... captive. I've been a jerk to you guys because I'm afraid to make friends. I'm afraid they'll hate me for never being able to spend time with them or my parents won't let me."

"It doesn't have to be like this. We can hang out with you whenever you break out" Dipper offered.

"Yeah, or we can break into your house."

The troubled girl smiled at them and got up. "I should probably get back before my parents notice I'm missing." She began to walk with the usual confidence she had towards the exit. The mystery twins smiled at each other, pleased.

"Oh, and guys?"

They turned back to her, who was at the exit.

"If anyone asks, then I still hate you two. But let's hang out again, Okay? Today was actually a lot of fun." And she was gone, leaving the kids alone.

"Well, now that that's settled." Mabel turned around and kicked the machine as hard as she could. "Die machine, Die!"

"Yeah, speaking of which, how'd you know to check behind the machine?"

"Gideon told me to. Hey, wait a minute." She pulled out the cheat slip of paper she found and the letter Gideon had given her earlier. "I recognize this handwriting! He set us up! Where is he?"

She circled around the machine and caught her pudgy friend watching from behind it.

"Oh, um, hello Mabel." He waved nervously at her, looking embarrassed.

"Gideon, what the heck?! We could have died in there!"

"No of course not! If Pacifica wasn't involved, only your brother would've been fighting and you would've been the captive" He instantly began sweating bullets and pulling at his collar.

"Wait, so you planned for Dipper to die?"

"It was the only way! You didn't have time for a boyfriend so if you had some more time then we could have..."

"So you tried to kill my brother just so I could have time for you?"

"And you appreciate the gesture?"

"No way, you psycho! We are never going to date. Come on Broseff, we're leaving." She beckoned for her brother and left the tiny magician there.

"You'll regret this!" Gideon yelled. "You'll rue the day you turned me down!"

"You're a butt!" she shouted back as she left the arcade with Dipper to walk home.


"Uff! Hey, what's the big idea?!"

Stan was being arrested, again, in the middle of the now dispersing freeway. During the two hours since he formed his legion of disciples, he had risen to power over the immobile drivers. He had even started a campaign to make the freeway holy ground and tax exempt, and would almost succeeded in starting a movement to Washington. Unfortunately, the time changed to 7:00 and rush hour was over. Every single angry driver immediately became sensible and drove off to their destinations, leaving Stan to be arrested by the left over riot police. He was pushed up against the hood of a car and being handcuffed by a very angry cop with a bruise on his stomach.

"Stanford Pines, you are under arrest for rioting, theft, assaulting an officer, and starting a destructive cult.

"Stantology was not a cult!"

"Sir, you were using people's unhappiness to get money."

"Oh sure, when I do it, it's a cult but when charities do it, everyone gets up to applaud" He complained as he was being shoved into a police car.

He sighed in the back of the car. "This is just like yesterday's rush hour."

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Last Chapter's Key: Deerper

Thanks for reading once again, I hope you liked this one. A bit late due to finals, but going to try to release a couple more soon to make up for it. Will still use this system of releasing the key the next chapter until I find a better method. Most of the time, the key will be some made up word. See you next time, happy holidays!