Hey guys thanks for reading.

So it seems some of you are a bit confused. Clary had been with other people but only at Pandemonium because she doesn't want Max to see her with a bunch of random men, but sometimes she was with men when she didn't come home. Also Jace hasn't been with other women like Clary thought, he has been meeting up with people to try and find Victoria (the warlock) to try and kill her. Hope that clarifies that.

Also just a swearing warning for this chapter (towards the end)

disclaimer: Cassandra Clair owns the characters, I own the story!

Clary walked over and got to wooden swords, walked to the centre of the room and handed one to Jace. She put all of her weight on her back foot, ready to pounce.

"Go" called Jace

She jumped off her back foot and made the first strike, hitting his hand that was holding the sword. Whilst he stopped to re-grip his sword she flipped over him and got back into her stance. Jace then jabbed at her, which she easily blocked. It was then that she realised how easy it actually was to defeat Jace. He always has the same fighting style, strike hard and fast. He was definitely good, but majorly flawed. She ran to a wall and he chased after her. When she reached the wall she ran up it and flipped over him again. Before he could turn she held the sword to his neck. When he tried to continue fitting, but she tripped him then crouched over him so he couldn't move, and held the sword to his throat. She hadn't even broken a sweat. She didn't see how only a few weeks training made her this much better than Jace. When she was about to get back up, Jace pulled her down and kissed her. It was filled with sadness and lust and want. And love, something she wanted no part of. She quickly pulled back and slapped him across the face.

"Leave" she whispered, trying to stop the tears that were coming. When he didn't move she yelled "Now, just stay the hell away from me. I wish I never even met you." After saying that she began to cry. Jace got up and left the room. Clary sat in the corner crying in a ball, and realised the truth behind her words. If she hadn't met him, none of this would have happened. She would probably be an artist, or in art school, not in a big, smelly room crying over her broken heart.

Clary walked to the kitchen and looked in in the cupboard that had their alcohol stash in it. She had drunk the entirety of in a few days and wanted to see if anyone had filled it again. She wasn't disappointed with what she found. She grabbed two random bottles and headed back to her room. She opened one bottle and took a large swig from it. She then decided she wanted to talk to someone about what had just happened, so after taking another large swig she sort after Izzy, gripping the bottle by its neck. She walked down the hallways taking a sip every so often, already a little unstable on her feet, until she found Izzy's room.

She knocked on the door and heard Izzy call her in so after taking another swig, she opened the door and walked in. Izzy smiled up at Clary, but then looked down to the bottle in her hand and gave her a look of pity. She patted the spot next to her on the bed and Clary walked over and laid down. Izzy grabbed the half empty bottle and put it on her bedside table then said "so Fray, what brings you to me?" Clary just shrugged her shoulders, already she wished that she hadn't come and just sorted out her problems on her own like she usually did. "Come on, spill" She thought back the convocation she had in the car with Simon, and how badly that had ended, but the alcohol was a buzz in her system so she blurted out "Jace kissed me". Izzy's eyes open wide and she asked "did you like it?"

"No" Clary said back quietly. It was the truth, she hated the kiss. It told her what she no longer had. It reminded her of what he had done. It had brought back all the pain she was fighting so hard to push away.

"It's really not fair what happened, if you just knew the truth you-" Izzy started saying but Clary cut her off

"Jace is a big boy. He knew what he was doing. And I deserved it. It shows how weak I am. The world is a fair place Izzy, remember that."

"No, it's not Clary. You don't deserve this and you're definitely not weak." Izzy said. Clary looked to her, thought for a moment then said, as if there was no alcohol in her system "the world is fair. You want to know how it's fair. It works it's magic. Dishes out it's shit and gives it to everyone equally. The world is fair because everyone gets the same amount of unfairness. And I'm just too fucking weak to handle it."

"Clary, stop saying that, you're not weak. You amazing, just going through a rough patch. You'll get over it. You know, if you're not a little broken, the light can't get in."

"Izzy, I'm in a dark place. There is no light. I am broken, and you can't fix it. You don't think I've tried. I've tried so hard, tried everything. I've been with other people, tried to relax, to distract myself, to see things, to paint things. I've tried to live on. And the only thing, the only fucking thing that gets my mind off him, even for just a second is alcohol. I hear you guys speaking. I know you're worried and you want to fix me, but Izzy I'm broken. And there is no way to fix it. I'm lucky that we have an iratze, because I don't want you seeing half the shit I do to my body. I'm like a China plate that has smashed into a million pieces. Just sweep me up and put me in the bin." Before Izzy could reply Clary grabbed her bottle and ran out of the room.

She was headed back to her room, but she saw a spot down the hall that looked particularly comfy. She wedged herself between some stairs and a wall, hugged her bottle and drifted off into a nightmare filled sleep.

What did you think? Please review as it really helps me!

I'll update again tomorrow.

Thanks guys