"Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart."
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

After another grueling night at the hospital- being fed bland food and staring at even blander ceilings- the nurses cleared me and I was allowed to leave. I stood in front of the main desk where a round, rosy-cheeked woman- Akano? She might have retired before I came to work here in my previous world- instructed me to be careful around my bandages and avoid strenuous activities (though she added that last part with a wink, which I begrudgingly blushed at).

Since I had no valuables to collect, I had only needed to sign out of a clipboard that would record my stay and tell the other nurses that my room was available. If I think back hard enough, I could remember that I "came into this world" only wearing my ninja blacks, which were a sturdy black sweatshirt and standard grade pants, as well as my heeled sandals. I had somehow lost my flak jacket though I kept my pouch which should have had weapons and various medical supplies (which were all still confiscated, mind you). Whoever, or whatever, brought me into this world was determined to make sure my identity was erased and as far from Konoha as possible.

Now that I'm discharged out of the hospital though, I was able to wear the ninja blacks and my heeled sandals instead of borrowing some used civilian clothing. I spread my chakra out discreetly to sense anyone nearby and caught the familiar, cool sensation that rang out Kakashi in my head.

Kakashi, I can sense you waiting outside the hospital, I thought fondly. Even when I knew that he was only there to make sure I speak with the Hokage, I still felt sentimental over small gestures such as this. Even in my "previous" world, he was a man of small gestures but big love.

We were in the kitchen that night, cooking up a late dinner since he had just come home from a mission. I thought he would have been napping on the couch while I cooked but instead he was here, next to me, watching intently as I took out a pot and filled it with water to boil.

"You need something, Kakashi-sensei?" I teased. Even though his team had all grown up, I still took pleasure in reminding him that he had once been in charge of three little genin.

"Well, it looked like you needed help, so I decided to grace you with my expertise this night." He replied smugly, fingers absently playing with my onyx hair. We both knew that despite his skill in the ninja arts, the man was a complete airhead when it came to anything house related like cooking. I didn't reply so he picked up a knife and reached for a carrot.

I peeked out at the corner of my eyes to look at him then. Really look at him. Gods, I love this man, I thought as I watched him diced the vegetable with a strength of a legend but with the clumsiness of a man who hasn't cooked much before. It left the carrot with clean cuts, though the pieces were uneven and the top layer of the carrot hadn't even been peeled.

I allowed myself one last thought of tenderness before taking the kitchen knife from his fingers and pushing him aside to cut the vegetables myself.

"You watching, Kakashi?" I asked as I grabbed a radish and diced it evenly.

The silver haired man lifted his hitae-ate and spun his Sharingan.

"Of course, Hinowa-sensei." He joked.

A startled, though near silent, gasp left my mouth as I recalled that memory. I'd known he had taken out his Sharingan and I scolded him for using it again so soon after just returning from a mission. Then I promised him I would teach him how to cook, "As long as you stayed in the village more", so that he didn't need to copy how I chopped vegetables. Later on that night, while wrapped in his arms, he had told me that he wanted to remember how I looked like making him a meal instead.

Remembering all this made the backs of my eyes prickle uncomfortably. It was only years of keeping an expressionless mask during missions that kept me from sobbing right there inside the hospital. I would certainly be admitted again, though probably sent off to a different section to be treated.

With a deep breath, I strode out the door and acted surprise to see him out there. Kakashi then proceeded to act surprised himself because he had happened to be there just as I was leaving.

"Oh, it's you." I faked a tone of surprise, though the fondness in my voice had been sincere.

"Maa, what a surprise, Hinowa-san! While we're here, I might as well escort you to the Hokage now and get this over with, yes?"

This interaction seemed all too familiar to how we used to be, but the feelings were different. He was there to make sure I was not a threat. I was there to...

I was there to figure out why this is happening to me. If I deserved this second chance. If I even wanted it.

We walked in silence, him in front while I stayed a few steps behind him to make it seem like he was leading me toward the Hokage Tower just up the main road. On our way there I thought of what I would say to the Hokage, the Sandaime if the calendar had been correct. It had been years since I'd seen him and I would need to control my reaction to a dead man talking. Hiruzen had been there for me when my own family had given their lives to protect Konoha from the Kyuubi attack. Granted, it was only me, my parents and my grandmother that was left of our clan but they had been my entire world until the attack took them. It was under Hiruzen's understanding and care that I moved on from there and had met one of my closest friends, Umino Iruka. Things were never the same but I moved on.

Things will never be the same in this world either, but I knew I had to move on as well.

With this new resolution, me and Kakashi entered the tower.

"So you came from the Land of Tea, Tatsuya-san? I'm glad to hear you're from Fire Country as well." The old man's demeanor was serene though his face held evidence of the years of working as a shinobi. The God of Shinobi lounged in his chair as I stood before him. Kakashi was leaning on a wall behind me, outside my vision. When we had walked into the Sandaime's office I took in everything that was inside. The man, the desk, the pictures of him and his family.

It was all so very...nostalgic. Something inside of me heaved and fell apart at how everything in this room seemed alive once more yet distant and out of reach at the same time.

This isn't my world. Not my Hokage. No, this is Tatsuya Hinowa's world now.

It felt like I was looking from the outside-in again.

"Call me Hinowa. And I'm sorry for any trouble I've caused your ninja, they must have been working until they found me." I was speaking on auto-pilot by then, the words they needed to hear tumbling out of my mouth as my heart and mind were preoccupied by the celebration of having what was once lost, here again. Even if they didn't know me, even when they weren't originally mine, I felt relieved at the sight of my precious people. The people who I felt I would kill and die for.

"Oh don't trouble yourself over that, Hinowa-san. From what Kakashi here told me, you were in dire need of medical help," At hearing his name, my eyes moved sideways to catch the jounin in my peripherals, "Though he had also told me about your talent for medical ninjutsu. Would you care to elaborate?"

"As I've told you, I come from the Tatsuya clan in the Land of Tea. Originally, we were a shinobi clan but as our clan numbers dwindled we moved towards agriculture. Our already small clan was then attacked by bandits, killing everyone but me and my grandmother. When I was ten she had died from old age, leaving me alone," I figured it was better to tell half-truths, I truly did not have any family that would take me in otherwise (or what if I did have family in this world, but they did not know me either), "From then on I travelled around, picking things up as I went. Our clan was well known for our medicinal herbs and that helped me learn medical ninjutsu faster*."

It was a bit of a long winded explanation but they would have asked about my origin at some point or another. Then I thought about if I should tell them that other thing about me. I might as well if I want to gain their trust and stay in this village. I knew that I didn't want to leave; I could find out more about my "predicament" in the familiarity of Konoha.

"There's also one more thing," I added hesitantly, "My clan stopped being known for its shinobi years ago but we still carry a summoning contract tied to our name." Hiruzen's once placid eyes hardened after I said the words.

"The Tatsuya clan are the only ones capable of summoning dragons*." I confessed.

The air around the office had grown rigid with the seriousness emanating from the figures inside. In my world, all of Konoha had known about my summons and it was one of the main reasons I had become a high-ranking jounin. My own taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjustsu have been average but with my dragon summons, I could become a force to be reckoned with. It had even earned me a nickname in the bingo books as "The Dragon of the South*". However, now that this world knows of my summons, who knows how they will react.

"Show me." Two simple words that commanded me to follow Hiruzen's order. I sensed that the ANBU hiding in the shadows, as well as Kakashi, prepared themselves for any trouble that could arise from my summons. I think they either thought I would use my summons to attack the Hokage or that I was bluffing and using this as a moment to escape and carry out any other nefarious plans.

Then the realization dawned on me: would my summons even work in this world? This world that had stripped me of my identity? There was no backing out now that I had just told the Sandaime what I was capable of. Either I would make a fool of myself or this pulls through. I hoped for the latter.

With a slightly shaking hand, I bit my thumb and called out, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

I willed for Mushu to appear. Someone small as not to frighten anyone.

With a small cloud of dust appearing, a skinny, red dragon strutted itself out into the open.

"Hey Hicchan what's the big idea? Weren't you supposed to be on a mis-" In panic I snatched him up and covered its mouth. The tiny dragon struggled against my grasp as I smiled at the Hokage.

"Here's one of my summons, Hokage-sama!" I giggled over-excitedly while Mushu began to claw at my fingers. In my head I warned him to keep his mouth shut and that I would explain everything later. The red dragon immediately stilled.

"My, what a cute summon. I've heard of dragons being able to be summoned in the past but to actually see one in my lifetime!" At the Hokage's hearty laugh, the tension in the room diffused and settled back into its previous nonchalance.

"I can assume you can do more than this, yes?" I nodded at the Hokage's question. I knew from experience that this tone of voice meant that he'd resign himself to something and ultimately let his own kindness take over.

"Then I can permit you to stay in Konoha if you so pleased. Of course, my ANBU will be keeping track of you to make sure you don't do anything doubtful, " I'd bet the word he really meant to say was suspicious or dangerous or even outright saying that he didn't excuse me as a threat just yet, "I'd also expect you to carry your own weight in this village, we are one of the great hidden villages and there always seems to be some kind of work that needs to be done. If you accept, we can have you tested for genin, chuunin, and any other rank so that you can continue using the most of your capabilities. But just be mindful that this process may take a while, considering that you are still an unknown shinobi."

I was overjoyed and a bit surprised at the thought that I can stay in Konoha because I had thought I would have been hauled off to T&I immediately after gaining consciousness back in the hospital, but it seems I was right in playing the truthful card and I managed to gain some trust along the way.

Though the moment had been bittersweet. Yes, I could stay in my beloved village, surrounded by my precious people. Yet, they didn't know me. This Konoha shares no feelings towards me, a complete stranger. And worst of all, I was back in a time of peace, before shit hit the fan. Will the events that occurred in my world happen the same in this one too? Could I perhaps play a role in changing the past, now present, for a better future? Had I the right to change things? If I did, things would surely be different than what I had experienced in my world.

Remembering an old text I had read when I was younger, I thought back at the theory that every little action caused reactions that would change not only its own course, but the course of those around it. Maybe I could use my knowledge of the future to my advantage, but if I changed this world too much, I would lose this ability before it became truly beneficial to me. I would need to play my cards right. First, I'd have to figure out what things haven't changed about me and the world I am in. Then I'd need to plan out what events I would participate in and/or change.

As I thought about my own situation, I had a slight idea to think about my previous world, my previous life. We had made it out okay in a general sense, though many of my precious people had died or ended up broken. Even Kakashi, who had burdened himself with the loss of everyone he was responsible of, was never fully there at times. Looking at my own self, as I was in that world and as I am in this one, there were little cracks in me that could not be fixed. Its pieces long gone and one of a kind, impossible to replace.

That previous world had the most painful memories, but perhaps the sweetest moments. Through those hellish days is where I had learned to appreciate the good days, even the somewhat decent ones.

If I somehow manage to change the course of this world's future, would those good days be just as sweet? Could I find happiness in a world that I molded with my own hands?