She's a Lady
I was sitting in my room reading. When I had finally gotten to sleep the night before after getting back from hanging out with Jacob, it was two in the morning. When I woke up today, it was three in the afternoon. This bothered me. Momma and daddy were in the living room together, having some alone time.
I had started reading All The Things They Carried to pass the time. It was an interesting book, I will say. And it had its moments where it was kind of funny in a morbid sort of way. Like when everyone started singing Lemon Trees when Lemon stepped on a landmine and was killed. I was only a few chapters away from finishing the book when I heard my room door open and saw momma walk into my room. She and I looked at each other for a moment before she finally spoke.
"I remember reading that. I had to read it my sophomore year of high school when I was still living in Phoenix." I smiled.
"It's a good read." Momma nodded her head.
"Yeah." Momma and I stared at each other awkwardly for a few minutes. Things were strange. We were both sorry, but it was hard to really talk about it. Finally, momma sighed and walked over to my bad and took a seat next to me. "Renesmee."
"Yes, momma?" She took another deep breathe.
"You do know why I hit you, right?" I nodded my head.
"I know. I was out of line, and I'm sorry for that."
"Yes, you were. But I think I understand what's going on, so I'm not angry about it. Sometimes this just happens." I could feel myself already getting mad again. They knew something and they weren't telling me. What did they know that they weren't telling me?
"Would you mind telling me what's going on with me?" Momma gave me a glare and I looked away. "Sorry. I mean, what is going on with me?" Momma sighed before answering.
"I think you might be…….." Momma looked like she was chocking on something, like the words were vile to say.
"I might be….?" Momma sighed again.
"Nessie. You remember that little talk that you and Carlisle and Emmett had last year right?" I thought back about what she could be talking about. There were a lot of conversations that I'd had with Emmett and Carlisle. It was hard to pinpoint just one.
"Which conversation?" Momma started rubbing her face.
"I'm so tempted to beg Carlisle to explain this to you."
"Why can't you talk to me about it?" Momma sighed.
"Because this is a hard thing to talk about with your child, especially taking into account that you're only two." I shrugged.
"Only in year's momma." Momma started laughing. I smiled at her while she laughed.
"True." She let out another small laugh before sighing and looking back at me. "Thanks for breaking the tension." I smiled back.
"So you're not mad at me anymore?" Momma shook her head.
"No. Just don't mouth off at me again, okay. Next time, I won't let you get away with just a slap. Your father was about ready to get his belt. Next time, I won't stop him." I nodded.
"He looked tempted." Momma giggled lightly again. Momma hugged me and I hugged her back. It felt good to not be weird with her anymore.
"I love you."
"I love you too momma." I waited until momma and I weren't hugging anymore before I asked my next Question. "So, momma, how long, exactly, will I not be allowed to hang out with Jacob? I don't think you guys ever said."
"I managed to get Edward to agree to no longer than three weeks. He was still pretty mad when he made the verdict. He wanted to span it out as long as two months." My eyes widened.
"That's not fair." Momma shrugged.
"Just be grateful that I was there to calm him down a bit, but it's still three weeks. He's already told Jacob this too." I sighed and looked at my bed sheets. Momma was giving me a smile. "Still love me?" I shrugged a little.
"I suppose I do." Momma caught the teasing tone in my voice and laughed lightly.
"As long as you still love me." I smiled. Momma kissed the top of my head before leaving me in my room. I continued reading All The Things They Carried and was able to finish it by the next hour.
The three weeks passed by unbearably slowly. I had nothing better to do than to read and reread books that were at the cottage and the house. I'd even resorted to looking through Carlisle's medical journals. If those things couldn't put me to sleep, then my insomnia was worse than I thought. After a week of bad sleep, I went to talk to Carlisle.
"Carlisle." He looked up from what he'd been reading.
"Yes, Nessie?" I walked a little closer to him.
"I can't sleep." Carlisle nodded.
"I know. Edward told me. And, truthfully Nessie, I think you're body's simply going through a lot of changes. And if Bella and I are right about what you're going through right now, then it's no wonder you're moody. It's all too common."
"And what is it that I'm going through?" I was getting annoyed again. Carlisle's face became thoughtful.
"Well, you see Renesmee, your body is going through a lot of changes, as I said. The age that this happens varies with every girl, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that it's happening already, seeing as you're pretty much thirteen physically."
"You're still not telling me what's going on." Carlisle chuckled.
"To put it medically, Renesmee, there's something in your brain called the Pituitary Glad which releases hormones called the Follicle-stimulating hormone and the Luteinizing hormone. The Follicle-stimulating hormone stimulates estrogen secretion and the maturing of the eggs. And when your eggs are mature, the Luteinizing hormone stimulates ovulation, which is when the eggs are released from the ovaries through the Fallopian tube where it waits to be fertilized by a single sperm cell.
"If that egg isn't fertilized, which it usually isn't, it has to be disposed of, as does the uterine wall, which is made up primarily of blood and mucus. The pituitary gland releases more hormones, such as estrogen and endorphins, to make it so that the uterine wall tears from the uterus and takes the egg with it. Now consequently, for a lot of woman, this process is uncomfortable and unpredictable. Symptoms for this feminine cycle varies from just moodiness to pain and discomfort that can interfere with their day.
"In your case, so far, it appears that the hormones are giving you more energy than your body needs and is making it harder for you to sleep. That doesn't happen to a lot of women. But I've been a doctor long enough to know that symptom exists. You're also experiencing mood swings, which is very common. Because the pituitary gland is so close to the hypothalamus, those hormones released by the pituitary gland effects the hypothalamus, since the hypothalamus controls the body's thirst, hunger and emotions."
Carlisle continued talking to me in his medical jargon. I had read one of his medical journals, but the one I read hadn't explained this. The one I read had explained bone marrow and blood disorders. And this was the same language he used when he'd explained this to me a few years ago. I didn't know what he was saying then, and I didn't know what he was talking about now. I hadn't even been listening to Carlisle when he'd explained it to me the first time. At the time, all I could think about was what Emmett had explained to me.
When Emmett had explained it to me, I had been horrified. While Carlisle was trying to explain this to me medically, all I could think of was what Emmett had said. I hadn't been able to look anyone in the face for weeks after that. Now Carlisle was explaining this to me, while I was actually listening, and I had no idea what he was talking about. He finally ended his little speech with an eighty seven lettered Latin/Greek word that I didn't understand, leaned a little closer to me with a hopeful look on his face.
"Do you understand, Nessie?" I looked at him for a moment, then nodded. Admitting that I hadn't understood a word he'd just said would mean another speech that might as well have been in Latin.
"Yes. I understand perfectly." Carlisle smiled at me and I smiled back.
"Excellent. Maybe this knowledge will help make you better able to handle it." I nodded my head, trying very hard to keep my face convincing.
"It sure will." Carlisle chuckled lightly.
"We're all happy to hear it." I forced a light laugh and left Carlisle's study. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Carlisle was rushing down saying that he needed to get to the hospital because they were in need of his medical expertise.
I spent the rest of the day just reading or sleeping. I wanted to talk to Jacob but daddy still had my phone. It took me forever to fall asleep that night and when I did, my head was killing me. I woke up the next morning with the same headache. And I had more wrong. I woke up with a headache, cramps in my lower stomach and soreness in my chest and back. I felt drowsy and nauseated.
I went to my bathroom and went about my morning routine. I brushed my teeth and washed my face and was about to take a shower. But I felt a strange pressure in my throat. I suddenly felt really dizzy and I almost fell. Suddenly, someone rushed into my bathroom and pulled my hair behind me and placed my head over the toilet. That pressure started to rush forward and out of my mouth. There was a disgusting taste in my mouth suddenly. I coughed a few times, whoever was behind me started rubbing my neck gently while still holding my hair.
"Are you feeling better now, Nessie?" It was momma. I suddenly realized daddy was close by. I was about to nod my head when the pressure was suddenly back and I threw up again. I coughed more and started sobbing.
"I'll call Carlisle." Daddy left the doorway and went to the other room to get his phone. I heard him dial a number and say hello to Carlisle. I threw up again and momma stayed next to me. After daddy finished talking to Carlisle, daddy came back to the bathroom and looked at momma. "He's on his way over."
Momma nodded and kept my head over the toilet in case I needed to vomit again. It took no time for Carlisle to get to the cottage. Everyone came with him, wanting to make sure that I was okay. Alice ran over to where I still was on the bathroom floor with Rosalie close behind her.
"Renesmee! Are you alright?" I heard Alice and Rosalie practically scream this at the same time. I only nodded my head. Carlisle pushed past Rosalie and Alice and asked momma to give him some room. He took me back to my room and grabbed a bucket from under the sink for me. I heard momma flush the toilet for me.
He placed me on my bed atop my bed sheets and got his bag and looked for whatever tools he needed. He took out a small flashlight and asked me to look straight ahead. Carlisle examined me for a few minutes. When he was done, he sighed.
"Nessie, have you been bleeding at all?" I shook my head. He nodded. "You will soon. I think you've been suffering from Pre-menstrual syndrome the past few days, a very bad case of it. And if your PMS was any indication, you're in for a miserable seven days. But maybe if you're lucky, it won't last very long. I've had patients whose menstrual cycles only end up lasting three days." I gave Carlisle a pained look.
"You mean I'll be like this for a few days?" Carlisle gave me an apologetic smile.
"I'm afraid so, honey." Esme walked a little closer.
"Do you think Midol or anything like that will work?" Carlisle shrugged.
"It's worth trying, anything that will lesson her symptoms." Esme nodded and left the room to go to the house. Carlisle caressed my forehead and smiled. "You'll feel better soon, Nessie. This is all just part of growing up." I groaned and lay in bed. Emmett groaned too and left the room. Jasper smiled at me, but didn't say anything. I was glad. I didn't want anyone to say anything. My headache was only getting worse by the second.
Everyone was looking at me strange. Carlisle was giving me his 'doctor face' as I called it, which I expected. Rosalie, Alice, and momma were giving me looks that were both proud, but pitiful and apologetic at the same time. Jasper was simply smiling kindly at me. Emmett had a face like he was being tortured. And daddy was pinching his nose in denial.
Carlisle reached into his bag and got his cell phone out. He dialed a number and it ringed once. I could hear the other voice on the line.
I'm at the store Carlisle. Is there anything else you need me to get? Carlisle nodded.
"You already got the Midol, I assume, right Esme?"
Yes, I just picked it up. And I'm onto the next aisle. What should I get her? I found it strange that Esme, who was a woman and remembered a great deal about this part of her life, would need to ask Carlisle what she needs to get me. Daddy chuckled without humor.
"Nessie, Esme went through this in a different time period. Woman used different things back then." I nodded my head. I really didn't want to continue on that topic. Daddy looked like he agreed with that.
"Nothing that says thick or scented. Just get something that has beginner on the package if you can find it. If they don't have it, just get something thin."
There's a million brands. What should I get?
"It doesn't really matter. Just don't get anything with wings. Those are a bit too complicated than I think Nessie can tolerate at the moment. And I don't want to risk blood getting onto her cloths because of them." Blood on my clothes? Daddy walked over to my bedside and put his hand on my head.
"Carlisle will explain it when he gets off the phone with Esme, okay honey." I saw Carlisle look at me, but it was brief.
"You know as well as I do how hard it is to get blood out of cloths. Menstrual blood isn't that much easier."
Alright. I found something good. Should I buy some tampons too? I felt daddy shudder at the word.
"No, no, don't get those. It's enough we have to teach her how to use pads. Tampons are a little more than we really want to get into." I heard Emmett groan 'oh god' to himself.
But they're less messy and she won't feel sticky. I heard Emmett again. This time his words were, 'oh come on'. His voice was pained. I was getting annoyed. I was the one in pain at the moment. What did he have to complain about?
"True, Esme. But she's a bit young to use it. She doesn't know how to insert it, so it would only be that much more uncomfortable for her." 'Stop saying things' I heard Emmett say. Anger level rising. Jasper spoke.
"Emmett, shut up. You're making her angry."
"Oh lordy lord, don't get Nessie angry." He made a fake trembling sound that made me even angrier. Pain or not, I still could slap him. Daddy chuckled lightly at my thoughts. Jasper rolled his eyes. Carlisle spoke this time after hanging up his phone.
"Emmett, how many menstrual and/or pregnant women have you dealt with in your life?" Daddy answered for Emmett, his voice proudly criticizing.
"Not many." Carlisle continued as if it was Emmett who had answered him.
"Well, I deal with them every day. And I can assure you that an angry woman with that many hormones going at once isn't the least bit amusing or anything to mock." Emmett answered this time.
"I have dealt with a few women in that condition. I simply don't remember because the only women I'd ever experienced that with were my mom and my girlfriend at the time. And for the record, Carlisle, you've never experienced this first hand. Esme was never pregnant or had a period while she was with you." Carlisle had a small laugh.
"You forget that I treated her broken leg when she was sixteen and human."
"And that means what?" Carlisle shook his head and sighed.
"Emmett, when a woman is going through this sort of thing, her body is…." Emmett interrupted him.
"I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it." I heard Emmett get up from where he was on the couch in the living room and walk out of the house and start running for the house.
Everyone else stayed with me at the cottage to keep an eye on me. While waiting for Esme, Carlisle explained this to me, in non-medical jargon this time. I finally got what he was saying.
"So I'll bleed for five days and not die?" Carlisle laughed lightly.
"Women are the only ones who can do it." Esme finally got back with the things that Carlisle had asked her to get. I saw a purple box with flowers and paper things on the front that said Kortex above it. There was another box that had a similar paper looking thing but it was long and thin and had Tampex as the title, along with the box that said Midol. Carlisle looked at Esme.
"Why did you get tampons?" Esme shrugged.
"You never know, she might prefer these. We'll just keep these around if she ever decides she'd rather use tampons over pads or even a combination of both if the flow is heavy." Carlisle sighed.
"It couldn't hurt I suppose." I sat up from bed and reached out slightly.
"Can I see them?" Esme nodded and brought me the two boxes with the paper things on them. I looked at the box that said Kortex and read the directions. It looked simple enough. All I needed to do was place the sticky part on my underwear and let it sit there. That didn't sound too uncomfortable.
I put that box on my nightstand next to my bed and turned my attention the other box that said Tampex. The first thing I saw were the size categories and what color represented them. Yellow represented regular and the box was marked as being such. I searched the box for directions but they weren't on the box.
"The directions are inside the box, Nessie." I heard daddy say this. I found the opening to the box and tore open the boxes folds. When it was open, I saw rows of long skinny things that were all covered in a packaging. I saw a little pamphlet thing off to the side of the box and took that out.
I opened it up and looked for the directions. It took long enough. This had such a detailed showing of female anatomy and such. When I did find the directions, they were in slightly bolded letters in English, Spanish, and French. When I started reading what it was I had to do, I didn't know what it was saying at first. I didn't know what a vagina was, that is, until I looked at the anatomy sheet again. My eyes widened and daddy sighed.
"I've got to do what?" Carlisle interjected.
"You don't have to use those, Nessie. You can just use pads. I think they might be more comfortable for you right now." I nodded my head before stuffing the directions back into the side of the box. I went into the bathroom to put the pad on. I didn't see any of the blood that Carlisle had spoken about, but I felt the cramps that supposedly meant it was coming. I came back into my room and went straight to bed.
Daddy left the room for a moment after that and I heard him walk into his and momma's room. I heard him open a drawer and pull something out. When he walked back into my room, what he had retrieved was suddenly in my lap. It was my cell phone.
"I'll let you text Jacob and let him know you're not feeling well. I'll take the phone back in an hour." With that, daddy nodded his head in the direction outside my room, telling everyone to leave my room and let me be alone. Everyone followed after daddy and walked out. I found Jacob's number in seconds and prepared to text.
How's work, Jacob? My cramps were getting really bad. Daddy came in and brought me a glass of water.
"Take two Midol and see if it makes you feel better." I nodded my head and took the two Midol that he handed me. When I'd done that, he put the glass of water on my bedside counter and left. My phone vibrated.
Nessie? You got your phone back? Holy crap, it's been weeks. Works been decent. But you brightened up my day. I smiled at that last part and prepared another text.
That's good to know. But, sadly, I'm not getting my phone back yet. Daddy gave me my phone so I could let you know that I'm not feeling well. I didn't wait very long before I got a response to that.
Wait, you're sick?! What's wrong, hun? I blushed at the nickname and felt extremely happy suddenly. That happiness was tarnished when I got a wave of cramping pain in my lower abdomen.
My head is pounding, I'm having really bad cramps in my lower abdomen, my back hurts, I'm nauseous, I'm blotted and to top it off, my mood swings haven't improved in the slightest. I waited a little longer for an answer to that one. I had expected Jacob to be really concerned and promising to come see me when he could.
Oh. Wow. That sucks. I could suddenly feel my temper boiling.
What do you mean 'that sucks'? Why are you so calm all of a sudden? I waited a few minutes for a response.
I don't really know what else to say Nessie. This is a girl kind of thing. I'm a bit out of my league.
Out of your league how? Haven't you ever been sick before? I waited a few minutes before I got an answer.
Nessie, what I went through and what you're going through right now are two completely different things. That stuff doesn't happen to guys. When we go through puberty, were grow more hair, our voices crack until it gets deeper and we go through a growth spurt and start discovering that we're attracted to girls. I sighed.
And how is that similar to what I'm going through? I waited a moment.
It's similar because it's puberty. Unless you're telling me that a half vampire somehow caught the flu. I couldn't help but laugh lightly at that.
Fine. Since you don't care.. I sent the message as was. I giggled, anticipating his response. I answered when my phone vibrated.
Don't twist my words, Nessie, I do care. But seriously, the only thing I can think of to help is what Paul does for my sister. But seeing as you don't like ice cream or any sweets of any kind, I'm at a loss here. I giggled again.
You could always bring me some donated blood. And make it type AB. It's sweeter. I heard everyone in the other room laugh lightly at my morbid joke. It was a minute before I got an answer.
Very funny, Nessie. I giggled and daddy came back into my room. I smiled at him and he smiled back.
"I'll take back the phone now." I sighed and gave it back to daddy. "AB blood's sweeter, huh?" I smiled and shrugged. "I'll remember that." We shared a quick laugh and daddy left my room with my phone. I sighed again and went to my bookshelf to find something else to read.
I had a lots and lots of books, both new and classics, filling the tall bookshelf in my room and the living room. But I never really read them. I've read several Shakespearian plays and sonnets, but those were with momma and/or daddy. In fact, Taming of the Shrew was one of my first Shakespeares. It was also one of my favorites.
I finally settled on Angels and Demons. I had always seen it on our bookshelves in both the cottage and at the house and daddy always insisted that it was an excellent book that was thrilling to read and exceptionally written. He said similar things about The Da Vinci Code, though he wasn't quite as passionate about that one as he was for the other.
I had never really wanted to read it. Daddy had admitted to me that the first several chapters were dry, but that they were interesting. I figured if there was a time I would give it a chance, now would be the time. I got through the first twenty chapters and was getting bored out of my mind. The only interesting things that I'd read were the murder, murder scene, and the murderer himself. And the murderer infuriated me. He was unstable in more ways than could be counted and he was an extremely perverse man.
Daddy was right though. Once I got to the part when we found out the Cardinals had been kidnapped, it got good. Then it started getting great. I was getting engrossed in it. I wasn't paying any attention to anything around me. I was only reading. I got to the part of the book when they found the murder when he was about to drown the Cardinal. I smelled the air and was taken by surprise to notice it was Jacob's scent. I looked up.
He smiled at me when I gave him eye contact. He was holding a TV with a VCR and DVD player attached to it. He also dragged in a small TV stand and set everything up so that it was facing my bed. When he'd set everything up and gotten all the needed wires hocked up, he left my room for a minute and came back with a large box of movies. I saw the movies in the box and realized that I didn't recognize them as movies that Jacob had at home.
"Did you just get these?" Jacob shook his head.
"Nope. They're Billy's movies. He really likes B-rated horror movies and would always buy one when he saw one." I crawled to the end of my bed so I could look at the contents of the box better. "How're you feeling?" I shrugged.
"I've started feeling better after having the Midol. I'm not as bad as far as cramps, headache and backache are concerned. I'm just glad I'm not feeling nauseous or blotted anymore." Jacob smiled.
"I'm glad to hear that. And I did bring you a yummy jar of sauerkraut." I let out a small cheer as he handed me the jar of sauerkraut. He handed me a plastic fork and I let myself at it. Jacob sat next to me on my bed after I took my first small bite of sauerkraut and brought the box of movies to me. I looked at the options and they looked pretty stupid. "So what do you want to watch first?" I looked at him.
"First?" Jacob chuckled lightly.
"Yeah, first. I think we should watch this. This movie is hysterical." He showed me a VHS tape which had two men on the cover, the one in front holding a gun and a small house in the left bottom corner. I read the title.
"From Dusk Till Dawn?" Jacob nodded.
"Yeah. It's a B-rated vampire movie. Also known as a really really cheesy. It's great." I giggled at his expression.
"Sure, why not." Jacob smiled wider and went to the TV and put the VHS in. He pressed play and sat next to me on my bed. He laid back and rested his back and head against my headboard. I scooted back and joined him with his arm keeping me warm and my head resting on my nook. He had a fork of his own and joined me in nibbling on the sauerkraut. "You must love this movie." Jacob chuckled.
"This movie's terrible. It's just really fun to make fun of." I was already kind of iffy about the movie from the beginning. And as the movie progressed, it just seemed to get worse and worse. And I had never seen so many naked women in my life. The final nail in the movie's coffin was when all the bartenders and dancers turned themselves into 'vampires'.
"What the hell is that?" Jacob laughed.
"It's a vampire."
"That's not a vampire. That's a cannibalistic mutation that just happens to drink blood and can make themselves look human. I haven't met a single vampire in my whole life that was ever that unbearably ugly." Jacob was still laughing while I was going on my little mini-rant.
"That's why vampire movies are usually B-rated movies. It's because they usually suck. Hell, at least this makes some sense. You should watch Queen of the Damned. That movie made no sense from beginning to end. All I got was that Lestate wanted to be a singer and the Queen was a psychopathic power hungry bitch."
"Then why watch them?"
"Because they're the best group movies. They're so bad that you need friends to watch it with you so you can make fun of it together." And that we did. I took the opportunity to make fun of every little tidbit I could. And by the time the movie was done, I was surprised to find I had fun. "So what did you think?"
"It was so bad it was good." Jacob chuckled.
"I kind of want to show you Grindhouse now." I gave him a questioning look. I put the now half empty jar of sauerkraut on my bed stand and I looked through the box and found what he was talking about. It had two movies to it. Death Proof and Planet Terror.
"And is Death Proof and Planet Terror any good."
"We aren't wasting any time on Death Proof. The whole first half of the movie is pretty much going over all their love lives. Planet Terror, on the other hand, is funny and meant to be. It's pretty much making fun of all Zombie movies. It's great." I pulled out a handful of movies that all had the same names: Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elmstreet.
"What about these." Jacob looked at what I was talking about and shrugged.
"I don't know. Those are pretty predictable. I mean, if you see them having sex or if you see their boobs, then that means they're going to die. It takes away all the suspense." I gave Jacob a weird look, but otherwise said nothing. I looked through the box and found an endless array of B-rated movies that all looked cornier than the one before. There were werewolf movies, vampire movies, zombie movies, a combination of the three, everything one could imagine.
"What year are these all from?" Jacob came back over and was about to take Grindhouse.
"Mostly the eighties and early nineties. Grindhouse was from 2007." He took that and went to the TV to put it into the DVD player. He grabbed the remote and sat back down on my bed. I scooted to the headboard and sat back next to him, resting my head back on my nook. Jacob grabbed the jar of sauerkraut and brought it back to me, with my fork, and we started nibbling at it again.
This movie was much better than the other movie. It was corny, as Jacob had promised, but intentionally so, which made the movie funny. I had to laugh when the main female character was complaining about having no leg when a guy with no head is running past her room. I love ironic humor.
Jacob and I were watching the movie, laughing at some parts and ranting about parts that were cut out. Particularly the part of the movie where the two main characters were having a love scene which was interrupted by a need to change the slides and then the movie skipping so far ahead that you weren't sure what had happened. The movie was incredibly corny and stupid and it was possibly the best zombie movie ever.
"I want to show you the fake previews. They're to die for." Jacob said after the movie was over. He went back to the main menu and went to the fake previews that he was telling me about. The first one was called Machete. I watched the preview intently, laughing at a few parts.
"They just fucked with the wrong Mexican?" Jacob patted my head in fake punishment. I was still laughing at the line though.
"Nessie, shame on you." Jacob was laughing with me. The next preview was The Werewolf Women of the SS.
"Oh god, this is so corny." Jacob and I were laughing.
"That's the point. It's supposed to be stupid." We laughed even harder at Don't.
"If you're planning on doing anything at all, Don't." Jacob and I laughed at my joke. We laughed even harder when we got to the Thanksgiving preview. At least, Jacob was. I stopped laughing at the ending scene of the preview when the cheerleader who was stripping on the trampoline had landed in a slip on the murderer's blade. "Oh my god."
"What?"
"That was horrible." Jacob started laughing and was laughing harder when I put my hands between my legs defensively. "That was painful even to watch." Jacob forced words through his laughter.
"Well, Nessie. If you ever want to kick a guy in the crotch, keep that little scene in mind. That's pretty much how that feels." I shuddered. I couldn't believe he was still laughing. I couldn't believe I was starting to laugh too.
"That's so bad." I forced my words through my laughter. We were laughing long after the previews were done. I did find it strange that I didn't hear daddy outside. "Where's momma and daddy?" Jacob finished his laugh and answered, still smiling.
"I convinced them to go out hunting." I giggled again.
"How did you convince them to do that? There's no way daddy agreed to let you show me these." Jacob chuckled.
"He didn't. Bella said it was okay. She said that you needed me right now to make you feel better, so Edward begrudgingly let it go." I giggled. "He's going to have a few things to say to me when he gets back."
"I wouldn't doubt that." Jacob and I watched movie after bad movie, just making fun of them. He helped me forget about the cramping and the headache. And the warmth from his body was a great way to soothe pain. His heartbeat made my headache go away. I still felt really gross. I was glad that Carlisle made me put on a pad earlier. I shuddered to think what was going on.
I started getting tired, but still laughed with Jacob at the ridiculousness of all the movies. He showed me a movie called Crosshairs and told me the story behind it. He, momma and someone she knew named Mike had gone to see this movie. There was supposed to be a lot more people but everyone backed out. He said that was also the night he fazed for the first time.
"What was it like? To faze I mean." Jacob shrugged.
"It was scary at first. I didn't know what was happening and I'd almost hurt Billy. And when I started hearing voices in my head, I got even more freaked out. I didn't calm down until I finally realized who was talking to me. It wasn't scary anymore after a few hours. I just needed to get used to it. But what made it hard was that I wasn't allowed to tell Bella about it." I already knew this was going in a direction I didn't want it to go. I cut him off.
"It's good she knows now at least." Jacob, I suspect, sensed the agitation in my voice and stopped talking. Normally I would never let him know that his and momma's relationship bothered me, but today wasn't a good day for me. The arm that Jacob had around me hugged me closer and he kissed the top of my head. He didn't say anything.
Whenever a movie was done, Jacob would ask me what I thought about it and we would make fun of it a little more before Jacob changed the movie. Most of them were zombie and vampire movies. I started getting really tired. Jacob's heartbeat and warmth was making me tired. I ended up falling asleep half way through Dawn of the Dead.
JPOV
I looked away from the carnage of the movie to Nessie when I heard her steady breathing. Her face was calm at last. Edward had told me she was hurting. I had never felt more helpless. I knew how bad a woman's period could get. Carlisle had even mentioned to Edward, shortly after I'd arrived, that if her periods continued to be this bad, he would have to see about prescribing her a birth control pill so her periods could be regulated and the pain not be as bad. Nessie. My little Renesmee. On the pill. It was strange to think about.
This was all happening so fast. She had just turned two years old and she already had the body of a thirteen year old girl and was getting her period just like any pre-teen. I just hoped she wouldn't go through that awful faze that a lot of teenage girls go through. She was so sweet and kind hearted. I didn't want that to change when she started wanting to 'test her boundaries' and 'express her individuality'.
Something else astonishing had occurred to me. She's becoming a woman. That meant that she would be…..'developing'. Right now, she was adorable and beautiful, but she was still flat as a board and not very curvy. That would change, and it would change fast. Men…teenage boys would start noticing her like that. The guy that had hit on her at the Slipknot concert last year had thought she was a teenager from behind, yes. But when he saw her from the front, he realized how old she actually was. Or how old she looked. That wouldn't happen anymore.
They would see her, be attracted to her, and try to get her attention, whatever it was they wanted her for. The more I thought about it, the more the thought angered and scared me. What if she liked one of those guys? What if she chose one of them over me? It had been hard enough with Bella. I could never do that. Not again. I just can't. What I have with Nessie is different from what I had with Bella. If I lost Nessie, even if it was simply to something like another man, I could never live through that.
She was changing. I had noticed those changes. Her voice was getting deeper. It had gone from a sweet high soprano to a smooth, even sensuous alto. She had a voice that any Victoria's Secret model or singer would give their very souls for. She had been getting taller. She was already five foot one, and still growing. I had noticed all these changes in her, but I'd never given them much thought until now. And she had been changing emotionally too. She was becoming an adult.
I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready for her to be so grown up. As she was, she was mine and I was hers. She had no one in her life to compare me to or anyone that could make her second guess how she felt about me. But once Edward decided she was close enough to the end of her growth spurt and he started sending her to school like she wanted, that would change. Even in a small town like Forks, there were plenty of guys to choose from and Nessie was beautiful and sweet enough that she could easily have anyone she wanted.
I felt myself getting sick to my stomach the more I thought about it. No. I wouldn't lose her. I couldn't lose her. Not to anyone. I wouldn't go through that again. This time, the pain would be far worse. I wouldn't be able to handle it, even if I ran away and lived my life as a wolf. I just couldn't do it.
I watched Nessie sleep. Her head was rested on my shoulder. Her nook. The spot she had claimed when she was mere minutes old. I still didn't have romantic feelings for her yet, but I knew I would someday. Someday, this big brotherly love that I had for her right now would turn into a love that was much stronger. A passionate love. It would happen that way. I needed it to. I heard the front door to the cottage open.
"Jacob, come out here." It was Edward and Bella. I sighed heavily. I knew what was coming. Edward was still mad from earlier about me showing her all those vampire movies. And I was certain that the things I had been thinking about didn't make him any less angry at me. I gently tucked Nessie to bed and kissed the top of her head before I left Nessie's room and went to the living room of the cottage to face Edward. He was standing in front of the fire place facing me when I got in there.
"Okay, Edward, I know that a few of those movies were a little graphic." Edward interrupted me.
"A little graphic? For god's sake Jacob, Grindhouse? Are you out of your mind?" He wasn't yelling. He was only giving me a very stern, agitated tone. Bella stepped in.
"What all did you show her Jacob?" Her voice, at least, wasn't nearly as angry. Simply inconvenienced possibly. And curious.
"We watched b-rated zombie movies. Crosshairs was one of them." Bella rolled her eyes, then I saw her smirk slightly at the memory behind it I'm sure.
"And what did she think of that?" I smiled.
"She thought the acting and props were poorly done and that the plot, or lack thereof, was predictable and dull. She thought the movie was funny." Bella laughed slightly under her breath and Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.
"Fantastic." I smirked a little despite the situation. I had come to find it oddly entertaining to annoy Edward. "I'm glad you get pleasure from my hatred of you." He said sarcastically. I chuckled lightly.
"Oh come on, Edward, you don't hate me. You think I'm annoying maybe. But you don't hate me." Edward rolled his eyes. He changed the subject.
"So was Nessie feeling any better with the Midol?" I let my face become serious.
"She said she felt better. Her headache and body pain wasn't as bad and she wasn't feeling fatigued or blotted anymore." Edward nodded his head.
"Good to know. Hopefully, we won't need to put her on the pill after all." I was ready to end the conversation with that. Mentioning that only made me think about the other stuff again.
"I'll get going." Edward stopped me.
"Jacob, you're not the only one this is hard for."
"I never said I was."
"Jacob, she's only two. She's already grown so much. How do you think I feel knowing that boys are going to start noticing her? How do you think I'll feel when she's only four or five and already brining boys home for me to meet?" I shuttered again. I was getting angry. I didn't want to think of Nessie being with some teenage pothead with no future in a small town. "You think I do?"
"Edward, I don't want to talk about this." I felt Bella put her hand on my shoulder.
"Jacob, you know that if there's anyone that I would be comfortable with my daughter being with, it would be you. I know you, and I know her. I honestly believe that you're the only one who can truly make her happy. You have nothing to worry about."
"Don't I?" The room was silent for a moment. The only sounds were my heartbeat and Nessie's. I was the one to eventually talk again. "I'll be back tomorrow. Unless you have any objections, Edward?" I know Edward heard the sarcasm in my voice. I think he just chose to ignore it. He didn't respond. "Then I'll be back tomorrow."
I left the cottage after that. I needed to run. I needed to get all this off of my chest and get it out of my system by going strictly by instinct for a few hours. When I had fazed, everyone started talking to me at once. They read what had happened and became as shocked as I had been. I told them all that I needed to be alone, that I would help them if they needed me, but to leave me alone aside from that. I ran through the woods, trying not to think about it, even though it was all I could think about.