An Immodest Puppet's Proposal

Chapter 2:

No Place Like Home

Well, the way I see it, if I'm gonna do this, I might as well give it my all. And honestly, I'm surprised I got a review even though the first chapter only had fifteen hits. So thanks to Selonianth for reviewing, favoriting, and alerting this story, and thanks to FFMMCLXIV, for also favoriting and alerting this story.

Also, the rating of the fic has been raised to M because of my inability to keep from describing some of my more perverse and bizarre ideas. There is also the introduction of an original character who really only exists to fill out Link's harem.

Treasure: Just this train wreck over with, Fuzzy.

Fairy Kyuubi (somehow sporting multiple bandages): Uhhh, yeah, sure... Whatever she said...

Fine. Here we go.

Link, Zelda, and Midna prepared to leave the Mirror Chamber. After the previous day's events, they had spent the night deciding what to do.

Flashback

Midna and Zelda were seated on opposite sides of a small fire Link had lit on the floor of the mirror chamber. They were trying to decide how inform the Twili of their leader's fate.

"I still think I should tell them," Midna growled stubbornly.

Zelda glowered at the dark princess. "After you tried to abandon Link and destroy the only link between the light and shadow? I should think not!"

"Tch, if I'd known what Link was gonna do, I probably would have killed him first." The impish Twilit muttered darkly. She looked at the stone slab upon which the portal to the Twilight Realm rested, and her expression softened. "So close... Yet so far..." She whispered sadly. Then she gave a startled cry.

Zelda, surprised by Midna's outburst, followed her gaze to where the shining stairs had suddenly appeared. At their summit, a million fragments of twilight were assembling themselves into... something. She gasped when she realized it was Link. Had she and Midna truly been so engrossed in their debate as to not notice Link going through the portal in the first place? She could scarcely believe it, and part of her longed to reach out, and touch Link's perfectly formed muscles... Er, to find out if he was real or not, that is.

Then he turned toward her, and jumped down to where he was mere centimeters from her, their lips almost touching, and Zelda blushed and backed up from Link, gasping out meaningless apologies for nothing in particular.

He smiled, despite how brave she had been when facing against Ganondorf, here she was reduced to a simpering child by the mere proximity of the man she knew was destined to plight her proverbial trough. He realized that, because of this, it would be a while before she was emotionally ready for him to claim her completely. But he also knew that it would make it all the sweeter when she finally surrendered her body to his sensual appetites, and became his in mind, body, and soul.

Link then turned his gaze to Midna, and took a good look at her. It was the first time since her curse was lifted that he had really considered her. He had spent nearly all of his adventure with her, and he had gotten to know who she really was beneath her mischievous facade: she was a proud and willful woman, who, like great steeds of myth, could never be tamed by force. If someone pushed her, she pushed back. But beneath even that, hidden so deep that he only ever noticed it when he was in his wolf form, were fear and confusion, and it had eaten at her daily, killing her from within. It was her only weakness, and Link was likely the only person alive that knew it.

"Well," Link said nonchalantly, "The Twili know."

Midna stared into his eyes fearfully before nervously averting her gaze, and she said, barely above a whisper, "What did you tell them? H-h-" Her voice wavered, "H-how did they take it?" She swallowed her turbulent emotions. Why was she acting like this? She steeled her resolve and looked again into the icy blue depths of Link's eyes. In them, she saw only hunger, for she refused to believe that this was same compassionate individual who had selflessly lent her assistance. "Well?" She spat venomously.

Link, who had been distracted by Midna's strangely emotional state, snapped out of his trance and said, "Oh, right. Don't worry, I just told them that the struggle against Ganon had left you unable to face them, and that at length you decided to stay in the world of light with the destined hero to help restore the honor of the Twili. They took it well enough, and they picked someone else to rule the Twilight. They'll do fine without you, Midna," He smiled confidently, "If they're anything like you, they'll just pick themselves up off the ground and go on with their lives."

Midna blushed a dark blue, in spite of herself. 'Maybe it's still him after all...' She thought. That optimism, that bright disposition... This was the man she had fallen in love with.

"Well then, now that Link has taken care of the Twili, perhaps we should try and figure out how to break the news to the people of Hyrule?" Zelda interjected, strongly hinting that they should attend to this matter as soon as possible.

"Exactly," Link agreed, "We wouldn't want your subjects to think you'd been captured."

"But how should we go about telling them...?" Midna idly wondered, "We cannot just tell them that their beloved princess is become as the chattel of a peasant boy, now, can we? No, we can't," she answered her own rhetorical question, "But how to do it... how... to... do it..."

"Yes, that would seem to be the crux of the issue," Zelda muttered, half to herself.

Link yawned. "Right now I don't care. It is late and I need sleep. We all need sleep," He said pointedly, looking at his two women, "We can figure it out on the way to Hyrule."

Midna looked at him strangely. "What do you mean? You make it sound as if we must walk there. I shouldn't have any problem warping us there."

"No, that's not it. I have a few stops I wish to make, and I'm certain Zelda has some last diplomatic acts in mind. Specifically regarding the state of Hyrule Castle, perhaps?" He hinted, and the Hylian princess's eyes lit up in understanding.

"Of course!" Zelda exclaimed, much to the chagrin of Midna, who was still a bit lost on what Link was talking, although she had an idea of what he meant.

"But I thought you said we would use the time to figure out what to do about the people of Hyrule? But if we do as you're suggesting, we won't have any time to decide on a course of action," She pointed out.

That realization hit Link like a brick. Midna had a point, and a damn good one at that. Attempting to regain his composure, Link said, "Ah! You're right, Midna. Hmm," He rubbed his sparse but scratchy chin hair thoughtfully, "Maybe Zelda could say something like, she's sorry about all that's happened lately and feels responsible for everyone's difficulties and she has decided to abdicate the throne so someone worthier than her can rule Hyrule. What do you think?" He asked them.

Zelda looked pensive for a few moments, but she reluctantly admitted, "Yes... That does sound... Legitimate," She said shamefacedly.

Midna looked at Zelda, then at Link, then at Zelda again. As much as she hated to admit it, Link possessed an eerie talent for fabricating diplomatic half-truths. "Sure, what Zelda said."

End Flashback

Now that they had finished packing up their bags, Midna turned to Link. "Well, master," She shuddered internally at using such a foreign word, "Will we be warping, or will we walk?" She had no idea why she had felt the need to ask such a ridiculous question - they both knew that the pass that served as the only way in, or out, of the Gerudo Desert had been blocked by a landslide. Hell, it was the reason they ended up having to enter the desert by cannon the first time.

And apparently, Link also realized it was rather strange, because he looked at her oddly before shaking his head and answering, "We will be warping, Midna. And I would like our first stop to be the Zora's Domain."

Zelda nodded her head absentmindedly in agreement. "Yes... Zora's Domain...That will be our first stop," She murmured distantly. 'They have suffered so much... And now, we may soon be adding to their great burden even more...' She thought sadly.

Seeing no argument coming from either of them coming from them any time soon, Midna closed her eyes and temporarily surrendered her senses to the mixed magics of light and shadow that now flowed through Hyrule.

Even though she had done it a thousand times before, Midna briefly lost herself to the magic when she performed the spell that would enable her to safely transport Link, Zelda, and herself through the twilight portals, which, though invisible to normal folk - light dwellers and twili alike, still dotted the the skies over Hyrule.

She had often heard tales of light dwelling magicians who claimed that magic flowed through people, and she always laughed. Although a part of her acknowledged that the lack of magical skill on the part of light dwellers wasn't necessarily their own fault, she still considered such claims about the nature of magic, demonstrative of a profound and laughable lack of magical know-how. As any Twili enchanter worth their salt could tell you, magic only flows through one if one possesses little control, and that for one's spell casting to even reach amateur levels, one must become one with magic.

By extending her consciousness deep into the primeval ether that was the essence of all created things, Midna was able to find what she was looking for, the particular rift in time and space that would allow them to emerge at the right place and time, for the plane they were passing through, would pass through, had passed through exists, would exist, had existed parallel to time.

Taking extra care to make certain they all arrived in perfect condition, Midna moved with and through Link and Zelda's essences, and guided them through the twilight portal onto the steps that led to the throne of Prince Ralis of the Zora. Then she separated herself from the magic, and materialized right where she had set Link and Zelda, only to find Zelda lying on the ground, pale and cold, with Link on top of her, rhythmically compressing her chest and periodically breathing into her mouth. At first, Midna was worried she done something wrong, but then she noticed that Zelda's clothes were soaking wet. "What's going on here?" She demanded, her tone clearly permeated with worry for the Hylian princess's well being.

Flashback to a few moments earlier.

When Link opened his eyes – or rather, when there was once more something to see, he saw the blue and white rock from which the ancestors of the Zoras had hewn their home. Though it was essentially a cave, Zora's Domain was nothing like a normal cave. The walls, carefully carved to give the impression of a natural origin, were covered with the dappled sunlight from outside reflected by the water that occupied the center of the throne room. And at dawn, the vibrant light of first morning shines across the scales of the Zoras, making them seem both strange and wonderful, possessed of an unearthly beauty and grace.

It was such a sight that had first compelled him to court a certain Zora called Rita, who, though homely by the standards of her kin, had appeared exceedingly fair to him with her abnormally soft, small scales and her freakishly large breasts, which were considered hideous by Zora standards. His first time with her had been incredible, despite, or perhaps because of, the obvious anatomical incompatibility between fish and mammals which prevented them from actually having intercourse. But his persistence and inventiveness led him to an amazing discovery, namely that the selfsame traits that enabled Zoras to eat algae and other microscopic lifeforms also lent themselves remarkably well to giving fantastic head.

Briefly, Link thought of submerged cavern beneath his feet, which was secretly connected to a subterranean tunnel of indeterminate length, through which came the waters that flowed forth from the Zoran throne room and tumbled down the falls and in the main river that fed Lake Hyrule, which was in turn drained by a series of narrow caves, which were also in turn connected to the four sacred springs, and even to the Goron hot springs on Death Mountain. Initially, the Zoras had been astonished that a land dweller, even one who wore the Zora Tunic, could be so interested in their culture and their world, but they eventually came to accept it.

Link was so absorbed in his own thoughts, that at first he didn't notice Zelda. Link was accustomed to both warping and the slick floors of the Zora's Domain, but Zelda wasn't used to either of those things. The moment she materialized on the steps leading up to the Zora throne, she was disoriented and she set her weight on her feet wrong, causing her to lose her balance and slip into the water. On the way down, her head struck a rock and she fell unconscious.

End flashback.

After Zelda had come to, and everyone had settled down,sent his bodyguards away so he could speak with trio in private, and Link explained their situation.

"I see," Ralis said quietly, "If what you say is true, then I feel obligated as the price of the Zoras, I feel obligated to both offer our assistance in rebuilding Hyrule Castle, as well as allow Link to choose a concubine from among the Zoras."

"Rita," Link said without hesitation.

Ralis looked at him like he was crazy, and said, "Okay, whatever you want. I will summon her, then you may depart."

Wow. I had no intentions of writing a chapter this long, but for most of it the words just flowed out from my head and on to the screen. I think this is hands down the longest anything I've ever written in one sitting.

Well, R&R everyone!

TTFN