CHAPTER 4

MISSING YOU

It was pitch black. Just the sound of nightlife surrounding him. The trickling of a distant river could be heard along with the rustling leaves above. In contrast, he walked silently, creeping through the forest. Animals avoided him, but he was not out for their blood tonight. He just needed to get away from the concerned looks of what remained of his family. It was all too much, but nothing could be done. All he could do was simply exist. His love was gone, he had left her and now he was facing the consequences of an eternity alone.

He paused, taking in his surroundings.

He was at the edge of a clearing. On the other side was a house. It had been just under 20 years since he had last been here, and it wasn't a happy memory. Pausing for a moment longer, he stared at the house. All the lights were off. Staying within the cover of the trees, he made his way to the front of the house. Charlie's cruiser was where it always was. Nothing changed on that front.

He leaped into the tree next to Bella's window, and inched his way closer and closer to the window, almost afraid of what he would see. A frown graced his face as he saw that the room was as it always was, the only thing missing was Bella.

A howl rent the air.

Looking up at the moon, Edward muttered. The wolves knew they were back.

Sighing quietly, he leapt down to the ground. Not a noise was made. As he walked on down the street, he reflected on his last words to his love.

...It will be as if I never existed...

He looked up into the night sky as if to curse it for simply being. How foolish he was to ever think that his plan would work. To think that Bella could ever forget him, or the heartbreak he left behind. She must have been crushed. He knew he was. It wasn't until he had seen Bella writings in Alice's mind that he understood the damage he had done by leaving her and now he wished with all his might that he could go back in time and change the way things went. But such was time; always moving forward, never backward. He could no sooner go back in time, than wish Bella into existence right this moment. It was futile. Existence was futile.

But he had promised. As soon as his family had found out about Bella, Esme had made him promise to not do anything to rash. Unspoken was the fact that what was meant by rash, was in fact suicide. When he had told Bella that he would go to the Voultori to seek death if she were ever to die, he had meant it. But with the promise he had made...

He put his hands in his pockets and kept his head down as he walked the dark streets. Because it had only been 20 or so years, there were still people that could recognize him and even if it was dark, it was better to do what he could, to make them think he was just a stranger out for midnight stroll.

He walked on until he reached the highway. No one was out on the road at this time. The only evidence left behind that he was here were the tracks in the snow. It was just him and his morbid thoughts now.

The minutes passed as he walked on. Not a car passed him by. Looking up ahead, he noticed a small white cross in the ground by the road. Curious, he picked up his pace and knelt down to see it. In the dim moonlight he read out loud.

"For our dear Bella."

He gently caressed the cross, memories of Bella in his mind, then stood up. He looked into into the dense forest beyond where the cross lay and started walking toward it. The years had left their mark, but the truck was still there. Brushing the snow off the door, he gave it a good pull. It creaked open for him. He climbed in and closed the door.

He took a deep breath. It was still there, faint, but still there; her delectable scent, the smell of freesias. Suddenly he broke down. He slammed his head into the steering wheel and just sat there.

When he finally raised his head, his eyes found that the dent his head made, had joined the smaller dent previously there. He let his fingers trace the dent as he wondered if Bella had felt that much pain as she made that mark 20 years earlier. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath, taking in all he could of what was left of his love.

Slowly he opened his eyes and looked to the floor. Bella's scent was particularly strong there. Upon a short search, he found a small notebook. Placing it in his lap, he flipped through the pages, breathing in the scent that the pages released from their grasp. Out of curiosity, he flipped to the beginning of the small book, and began to read.

...He left me, after he promised me he wouldn't...he gave me his word! he PROMISED me!...

Tears stained the page. She was right, he had given her his word, and he had broken his promise. What kind of person was he to do that to someone he supposedly loved. He read on...

...I'm so stupid. A guy like him and a girl like...me. Why have me when he could have a girl like Rosalie? I'm so plain...

She was so wrong! There was no one in the world that held the sort of power she held over him. Rosalie was nothing compared to Bella! Here it looked like she had paused for a while. From here on the handwriting changed styles and became more violent.

...I hate that I let him play with me like that when I knew I could never work out. I hate that and I hate myself. That's it. I hate myself!...after everything we went through, the lengths he went to make sure I was safe, risking his family like that and then he left me? said he didn't love me?! There's something wrong with me. I can't fix it. I don't want to anymore, i just want to die...

"What do you think you're doing leech?!" an enraged voice rang out, jolting him from his thoughts and causing him to drop the book back where he found it.

Looking out the window, he saw it was one of the werewolves. As he contemplated this, said wolf, opened the door, grabbed him and threw him out onto the snow, finally slamming the door shut behind him.

"What are you doing here?!" the wolf shouted.

Growling, Edward pushed himself up into a crouching position, ready to pounce, should he need to. "Why do you care?!" he replied.

"You Edward Cullen?" thewolf asked out of the blue.

"So what if I am? Who are you?!" this was as good as any chance to get rid of his pent up anger.

"I'm Jacob Black and you have no right to be here," the wolf replied with authority.

"Who are you to decide?" Edward said standing up to his full height, which try as he might, didn't match the wolf, who now looked like he was trying to restrain himself from ripping Edward to shreds.

"You broke her heart! You left her a mess! When I found her she was a depressed, suicidal wreck!" his voice dripped with menace. "How could you do that to her, when you supposedly loved her?!"

Edward grabbed the wolf's throat and pushed him into a nearby tree. "You don't know what you're talking about!" he snarled.

Mirroring his action, the wolf grabbed Edwards throat and pushed him into another tree.

"I was there to comfort her when you left, so I think I know my fair share of this soap opera," his voice was low as he spoke.

"How did you know I was here?" Edward rasped out.

The wolf let Edward drop to the ground.

"I guard this place," was all he said.

"From what?" Edward asked standing up.

"People like you," the wolf said looking him in the eye.

"Why is this still even here?" Edward continued.

"So many questions," Jacob said sneering, "Maybe if you never left you wouldn't have so many?"

Edward stood still, quietly fuming at the audacity of the wolf to say such things.

"She loved you more than you were worth," Jacob said bitterly, "And she killed herself for you, I hope you're happy."

Edward wanted nothing more than to throttle the foul smelling dog to death, but the power of his words held him to the spot.

"Leave."

Edward cocked his head to the side.

"I don't have to listen to you, dog."

That was all it took for the wolf to snap. Shedding his clothes in an instant, the now fully transformed werewolf, charged the vampire.

Needing an outlet to let the anger of 20 years out, Edward charged too.

The two collided like an almighty clash of thunder to the snow covered ground. Edward had the advantage and was currently hovering over the wolf punching what he could, but his advantage was short lived as the wolf tossed Edward over the truck toward the highway like a rag doll. Not wasting anytime, the wolf ran to where Edward was still reeling, and grabbed his arm. Using his wolf strength he tore the arm from its socket and threw it into the road, which they were steadily getting closer and closer to.

Edward cried out in agony at the loss of his limb and fiercely sank his teeth into the wolf's other arm. Jacob Howled as the venom stung his arm. Throwing Edward off of himself, the wolf grabbed at his arm and stumbled toward the road where Edward had landed.

Edward's arm was slowly crawling its way to Edward.

Head lights suddenly lit up the whole scene.

Edward growled. Out of all the times for a car to come down this road, it had to be now.

The car slammed it brakes just feet before reaching Edward. By now, Jacob had fallen to his knees in pain.

Both doors whipped open.

"Edward!" a high voice, more angry than musical, rang out. "What in the blue blazes are you doing?!"

"Alice?" Edward moaned.

She grabbed his arm off the ground where it was struggling, and marched over to Edward. "I thought you had the brains to not go out seeking fights, let alone a fight with a werewolf out on a public road," she was using his arm to emphasize her point.

"You could have revealed us all and brought the Voultori down on us big time! you hear that Edward!" Angrily she threw his arm onto his chest and walked beck to the car, slamming the door shut and starting up the car.

Jasper had made his way over to Jacob and was quickly working his magic on him. With a few words, the wolf nodded, got up, and left into the forest.

Jasper barely spared a glance at Edward as he walked around him and got into the waiting car. Within seconds, the car had swerved around Edward and sped off into the night toward Forks.

He didn't know how long he had laid there nursing his arm while it reattached itself, but he was quite sure it had been more than a few hours. Luckily no other cars had come this way while he lay there. He supposed it was rather dumb of him to remain there, but he didn't have the presence of mind to think of such things. Now he was walking somewhere in the forest, in what he supposed was the direction toward home. Dawn was close at hand, and soon the whole place would be alight. He quickened his pace.

As he looked around, he found that this part of the forest was strangely familiar. He shook his head. He must still be disoriented from the fight last night to be thinking such things.

But as he walked on, he couldn't deny that he had been here before. As he looked through his memories, a dread rose within his heart as things started matching up. He almost wanted to turn back and find another way home, but his heart drove him on.

Before he knew it, sunlight began to filter down from above the trees illuminating a part of the forest not to far from where he was. Taking a deep unneeded breath, he started walking toward that spot.

What he found was a bright open meadow. It figuratively took his breath away. He walked out to the center of the circle and spread his arms wide, taking in the sunlight. For a moment, he forgot all of his troubles and worries.

"Hi there," a soft female voice said.

Edward stiffened and dropped his arms.

"Who's there!" he shouted looking all around for the speaker.

She stepped from the shadow of the trees behind Edward and when he caught sight of her, he was frozen in shock.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted anything," she said politely, "but I couldn't wait any longer to meet the vampire who would fight a werewolf in the middle of a road."

Edward took a step back.

"It can't...you can't be."

At his stuttering, she tilted her head in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"Bella?" he whispered.

She smiled.

"I've been called a lot of things, but never Bella I'm afraid," she walked closer to him.

Upon closer inspection, Edward's shoulder slumped in defeat. This was not his Bella. The sunlight had played tricks on his eyes. She did look very similar, but not quite right. He was still defensive though.

"How do you know about last night?" he said guardedly.

"I was there," she said slowly, talking as if he were a child, "in the car, with Alice and Jasper."

Edwards eyebrows rose in confusion, he had not heard a third mind in that car.

"So, you're a vampire?"

She laughed.

"Yeah, I know I know, I don't 'sparkle' and all that," she said using her hands to demonstrate.

"I'm unique lets just say."

Edward put his hands in his pocket.

"How did you end up in their car?" he asked warily.

She laughed again.

"Well, I opened the door and got in."

Edward glared at her.

"Seriously though, I met them a couple of years ago," she came closer, "I'm just tagging along."

He took a step backward again.

"How long will you be here?"

"Oh, I don't know really," she glanced around the meadow, "It really is pretty here, I can see why you would like it."

"I hate it here," he blurted out, surprising even himself.

There was something about this girl that just set him on edge; like he should know her. She seemed way too comfortable around him than other people ever did, even his own family. He couldn't let this girl get any closer to him, she only regret it when he betrayed her trust just like he had done to Bella.

"Really?" she said, "Then why are you here?"

He backed away to the edge of the clearing.

"Why do you care?" he said boldly.

She looked hurt at his words.

"Why shouldn't I?" she asked, "I'm just trying to get to know you, I'm just being nice."

He stayed where he was.

"So you come out here searching for me for a friendly little chat?"

"Uh, no," she said slowly annoyance in her now lower voice. "Don't flatter yourself, I came out for a nice walk to see the scenery and you just happened to be here." She turned her back to him, "Alice was right," she started walking away, "You really are an a-"

"Anti-social, selfish, over-emotional, prick?!" he had left the safety of the trees during his rant and was now standing just feet away from the girl.

Slowly she turned.

"You could say that," she studied him over, "What's your problem?" she asked.

Edward frowned.

"It's none of your business."

"Well isn't that just nice," she smirked. "A one man pity party."

"You don't know what you're talking about," he growled.

"You really shouldn't say that, you hardly know me at all," she tossed her hair over her shoulder and walked away.

Edward just stood there stunned. Then a confused look came over his face...

That smell...