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CHAPTER ELEVEN

NOSTALGIA

*

She was standing with her back against a wall taking in the fresh air around her. She had just escaped, barely. She still smelt of smoke. Why they felt the need to cremate her body was beyond her knowledge. Unlike the previous times when she had been sent to the morgue, this time she had been sent straight to the funeral home and the fires within. She had never specified anywhere or at any time that she wanted to be burned. Something was up with that.

Sighing, she looked up at the clear blue skies above. What would she do now?

She knew who she was and where she came from. There was nothing left to search for. She didn't need the glitz and glamor of Hollywood or New York anymore. She had found what he was looking for. And now it was up to her to decide what she would do with what she found out.

Against her will, her mind turned to thoughts of Edward. What would become of him, of them?

She had fallen in love with him twice. Only this time, she had been the one to leave him. But it had been out of confusion and a fear of him leaving her once he realized who she really was. After all, he didn't love her. He had left her because of that. She didn't want to feel that sort of hurt ever again. Fool her once shame on him, fool her twice shame on her.

Images of their time on the deserted beach flashed before her, conversations they had shared on her couch. He had said that a part of him would always love his ex. Had he been talking of her?

She shook her head. He was over a century and a half old. Plenty of time for a few girlfriends. If he had loved her he would have stayed, he wouldn't have said those hurtful things.

Furiously, she wiped away the tears that were forming, then she stilled. She heard footsteps; light as air.

Turning around the corner of the wall she was leaning on, she saw a man. But not just any man. It was Edward and he was carrying a small urn in his arms. Curiously she looked on as a man walked up to Edward and handed him an envelope. Briefly she considered approaching him. Obviously, if he was here and carrying a urn, he must of been thinking she was dead.

A few minutes passed, then Edward began to crumple the letter in his hands. He was obviously angry. His emotions were pouring of him in waves. What had that letter said?

The sound of breaking pottery broke the silence. Edwards heavy breathing could be heard a mile away.

Her breath caught in her throat as he turned away from the urn muttering. With her vampire hearing, she could make out the words as clearly as if he were talking in her ear. Something about 'Bella' and 'Hate'.

She knew it! He hated her!

Fast as lightening, she sped away from her spot, not bearing to be anywhere near the man she had once loved with all of her heart.

If looks could kill, then the mirror would surely be long dead. Having checked into a cheap motel, Bella was staring into the mirror at herself. The person staring back at her, was a dark red head, with pale skin and petite features. In her haste to escape her fiery doom, she changed herself into the nearest dead body and made that dead body resemble her close enough to be believable. Thinking back on it, she couldn't help but mentally kick herself in the head. What if someone had noticed her looking like what was supposed to be a dead body? She seriously need to get over what had happened. She couldn't afford anymore dumb mistakes.

Curiously, she shifted her features to fit that of the girl she remembered in her memories before she had been changed. Once she was finished, she felt a huge weight lifted off her that she hadn't even known she was carrying. Now that she wasn't trying to be someone else, the effort of keeping up the pretense was gone. With a smile, she took a deep unneeded breath, enjoying the lightness. It had only been about 30 years, but to her they felt like an eternity.

Slowly a smile crept onto her face as she thought of all she had done. She smirked as she thought of her life as a champion figure skater, Who would have thought she would have the grace necessary to ever get close enough to medal let alone finish a competition? And the singing. In her human years, she had had a voice that wasn't even worthy of the shower. When it came to the modeling and acting, she would never have thought she could have the beauty to even be considered for the role of an extra.

All these things she never would have thought herself capable of. She wasn't the fragile unsure human she had been before. She was a strong independent woman. Her lips twitched as she remembered herself saying those very words to an old friend in her human years. She couldn't quite remember her name anymore though; her human memories were rather blurry. It didn't help that she hadn't been able to access those memories for all those years until now.

She frowned.

They thought she was dead.

Charlie!

Her eyes widened. What was he doing now? Was he still alive?!

She had to know.

She looked into the mirror focusing on her face. She could be in Forks in a matter of hours. Concentrating, she changed her hair color to blonde and allowed her body to become more curvy. It would not do for her to come back to Forks looking the same as the day she went missing. She made her eyes large and innocent looking and filled out her cheeks. In her opinion, she looked like your typical everyday twenty something just passing by. She was going for the type of person that wouldn't be looked at twice.

Satisfied with her work, she quickly left the room, not bothering to check out of the motel, and disappeared into the night.

As she ran, not a sound was made. Between her and the darkness, there were only the rampant thoughts in her head. She had one focus now. Her father. Edward, though try as she might, was still in her thoughts, but her father was of more concern to her than her broken heart right now.

Soon the sun began to rise, revealing the trees and snow around her. She smiled in irony. She had gone missing in the winter, and now here she was returning in the winter.

As far as she could tell, she was in Washington. The trees were starting to look similar to her distant human memories. She was close now.

Taking a deep breath, she took in the refreshing smell of a dawning new day. But as soon as she registered the wonderful smell, a new rather pungent odor overcame the other scent and made her scrunch up her nose in disgust. Instinctively, she altered her course away from that awful smell. What in the world would smell that horrid? She had never smelled that scent in all her years as a vampire. It was strange, but not enough to detour her from her current goal.

Continuing on, she was within the city limits of Forks within an hour. As soon as she started to see more people around her, she slowed down and began her human act.

Things had definitely changed in Forks. The town, though still rather small, looked newer, for lack of a better word. Many of the buildings around town had been rebuilt and the roads redone. It looked much more modern than she remembered.

As she walked the streets, she noticed the town's people slowly coming to life. The closer she got to home, the more she saw hurried mothers rushing their bundled up kids into cars to go to school. She looked at them fondly, remembering another time when she had envisioned this as her future, before Edward had come into her life, before a vampire had came and changed her life forever.

She sighed. Up ahead she could see the house. Furrowing her brow, she noticed that there was no police car in the driveway. An instant sadness gripped her heart. Was he not here any more? had he moved?

Was he dead?

Her steps came faster as she rushed up to the driveway. Using her nose, she sniffed the air surrounding the house. Still unsure, she knocked on the door.

No one answered. She knocked again, even louder.

Still nothing, then...

"Hold your horses..." a gruff voice replied from within, "I'm coming already"

If Bella still had a heart, it would be beating faster than the speed of light.

With a creaking sound, the door opened revealing an old gray haired grumpy looking man.

Bella's voice left her as she took in the sight before her. She wanted to cry. Charlie definitely looked like the years had not treated him well. Gone was the active police chief/father she had known before. In his place was a defeated man.

"What do you want?" he said, looking at her in disdain. She had a light dusting of snow covering her blonde hair. All in all, she looked rather pathetic.

"Uh..." in all her years in the public eye, she had never been at a loss for words, but this was different. "Can I come in?" she said meekly.

He didn't budge from his place in the doorway."Why?" he said iirediculously, as if he couldn't comprehend the idea of someone wanting to come and talk to him.

"I'm sorry" she turned away, unable to face him any longer. So much for being a strong independent woman. Just as her luck would have it, it began to snow again.

She was almost to the street when a voice called out to her.

"Wait!"

She turned around.

Charlie was now standing on the lawn, "I..." in true Charlie form, he didn't know how to handle an uncertain female. Bella's lips twitched in a slight smile."I don't get a lot visitors"

Bella walked toward him. "I just wanted" she cursed the old human uncertainty that was coming back to her now, "I just wanted to see how you were doing"

Charlie looked at her confused, "Who are you?" he asked, "Are you new in town?"

Bella smiled bittersweetly, "Not really, its just been a long time since I've been here"

"Really?" he said suddenly interested. "Do you have relatives that live here?"

Bella walked closer, "Yes"

"Who are they? Maybe I know them"

"Can we talk inside?" Bella persisted.

He paused, "Uh...yeah sure" he said waving her in.

Taking a deep breath, she followed him into the house.

Inside was just as she remembered. Only now the house was much more dirtier and there was a stale air about the place.

"Sorry about the mess" Charlie said. "We can sit in the kitchen, its...cleaner"

She wrinkled her noise as she walked into the room. The sink was overflowing with dishes and the garbage was in serious need of being taken out. It really didn't help that she now had an extremely sensitive sense of smell.

"So when was the last time you were here in Forks?" Charlie asked picking up a pile of newspapers from his seat and placing them on the table before taking a seat.

"Its been a while" Bella said vaguely, taking off her snow covered coat and taking a seat across from him.

Charlie ran a hand through his hair, obviously uncomfortable with the situation he was in.

Sensing this, Bella took a chance to give him a break. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah, sure" he said, "Straight up the stairs, right in front of you, can't miss it"

"Thanks"

She walked out of the room and sighed. She wanted to run to her father and tell him everything, but a part of her was scared at the prospect. Would he accept her?

Memories overcame her as she walked up the stairs. At the top, instead of going to the bathroom like she had intended, she turned to the left where her bedroom was. Quietly, she pushed the door open.

It was as if she had never left. A thick layer of dust covered the entire room preserving it just the way it was the day she went missing. She walked over to the bed and stared in wonder around her. From the ceiling to the walls, to the table and shelf, it was like a page out of a historical record. The smell of freesias surrounded her, even years after she had last been here. She could now understand why Edward had found her scent so intoxicating.

As she looked around he room, her eyes found a spot on the floor that was raised above the rest. The dust made it noticeable for her eyes where before she probably never would have noticed it. Getting up off the bed, she crouched down to the floor and lifted the raised floorboard up. Underneath she found a stash of old memories. Momentarily confused, she stared at the objects before pulling them out from their ancient grave. She laid the floorboard back in place and moved back to the bed. Laying the items on the bed she stared at them, searching her memories for some recollection of them. She hated her muddled memory. Some things she could remember like they just happened yesterday, while other things, she had to struggle to remember.

The first one was a photo album of pictures of her Edward together. The second one was a CD. She looked around for a CD player to play it. Surely if everything was as it was before then she must have one here somewhere.

She glanced to her table and found a CD player and head phones. Reaching over, she grabbed it and placed the CD within.

Very vaguely memories of a birthday party surfaced in her mind.

Placing the headphones on her head, Bella was greeted with the dramatic sound of an intense piano. The sound reached into her soul and brought forth a memory that brought her to tearless sobs.

It was her lullaby; the song that Edward had wrote for her. She brought her knees to her chest as she listened on.

"What are you doing!" and angry voice said bringing her suddenly out of the revere. Hastily she pulled off the headphones, the CD player clattering to the floor and opening up, the CD rolling out and stopping right in front of Charlie. Looking up from the CD to his face, she gulped.

"How dare you come in here!" he shouted.

"I..." Bella stammered, her emotions suddenly running haywire, "I'm sorry"

"Get out!" he yelled

"I'm sorry dad" she pleaded, lost in memories of the past.

That stopped Charlie in his tracks.

"I..." Bella muttered.

"What are you playing at?" Charlie barked out."My daughter is dead!"

Bella stood up and walked over to the window, not really seeing the snow that was falling outside.

"She is" she sighed.

Charlie threw his hands in the air. "Just who are you?!" he shouted.

Bella turned around and let it all go. Slowly she reverted back to her original form.

Charlie's eyes went wide as he watched Bella change from being an innocent curvy blonde haired girl to being his old Bella, unchanged from the day she had went missing. Tears came from his eyes as he saw her.

"You can't be" he said in denial. "What are you?" he said backing up, "Your just playing with me...haven't I suffered enough? Why are you doing this to me?"

"Charlie" Bella said, moving closer to him, her hands pleading with him to believe her, "Its me, I promise you"

Charlie extended his arm, his fingers pointing at her in disbelief, "You can't be, how can I trust you?"

Looking around her, she spied a picture of her and Charlie. She was holding a baseball bat in her hands with Charlie's hands on her shoulders. She grabbed the picture.

"Remember this?" she asked holding the picture out in front of her, "I was 8. You were determined to teach me the art of baseball"

He watched her warily.

"After we took this picture I went and played" she smirked, "I ended up scrapping both my knees and getting a concussion from tripping on my own feet"

An uncertain smile broke through Charlies hard facade.

"I was on my way to bat" her eyes twinkled in remembrance, "I didn't even make it half way onto the field, you would think that I would hurt myself after the ball was thrown, not before I was even in a position to get hurt"

Charlie softened his gaze on Bella.

"If your my Bella then why haven't you changed a bit?"

There was nothing left to say. "I'm a vampire"

Silence.

More silence.

"Dad?"

"Where have you been for the past 30 years?!" he shouted in an anger born of sadness and grief.

"I couldn't remember anything" Bella explained. "I only got my memories back yesterday...I came here as soon as I remembered you"

"Did...Did 'he' do this to you?" Charlie asked.

Bella paused trying to understand what he was talking about. "Who?"

"Edward" Charlie said simply, "Did he do this to you?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "How do you-"

"Are you and him...?"

"No!"

Charlie relaxed.

"He hates me" Bella said defeatedly, slumping back on the bed.

Charlie sighed.

"He always was bad news"

"No one can know I'm back" Bella said looking into Charlie's eyes. "There would be too many questions"

Charlie looked at her and nodded.

"I have the power to change my appearance" Bella said point blank; there was no point to beating around the bush.

Charlie nodded again.

"You're taking this easier than I thought you would" Bella noted. "I mean, I tell you I'm a shape-shifting vampire and you ask where I've been all these years, you don't even thing to ask about my diet"

Charlie shrugged his shoulders, "I have no doubt you would ever hurt me".

He sighed.

"What is it?" Bella asked. "What's wrong?"

Charlie leaned against the door frame.

"I've missed you so much" he said in a unique moment of emotion, "I always dreamed..you know...that I would see you again..."

"...one last time"

"Dad?" Bella said. She was getting worried.

"I don't have any time to doubt you" he said taking a deep breath,

"I have cancer Bella"