Disclaimer: Most of the characters and situations in this story belong to Marvel Comics, Fairview Entertainment, Dark Blades Films, and other entities, and I do not have permission to borrow them. No infringement is intended in any way, and this story is not for profit. All others belong to me, particularly Cedric, and if you want to borrow them, you have to ask me first. Any errors are mine, all mine, no you can't have any.
Cincoflex must have slogged through three or four versions of this chapter, and she still talks to me anyway. ;) Thank you, dearest.
And props to Black.b3rry for figuring out the joke in the yacht's name! Yes, flip "Y Not?" around and you get "Tony".
**************************************
He dressed with especial care on Monday morning, retrieving his father's watch from his dresser and slipping it into his vest pocket. Cleaned and refurbished, it gleamed richly at the end of the heavy chain, a satisfying weight in his hand and then against his torso. Tony shrugged into a coat and set his cuffs, and went out to find coffee and wait for his fiancée.
She was, of course, early, and Tony watched her step out of her car via the window screen in the living room. Pepper too was impeccably dressed, and he wondered idly if her clothes felt like armor to her.
He shut off the screen and waited by the window as she came in. Pepper's expression as she caught sight of him across the room was cool, professionally calm, but the way she raised her chin told Tony that she was nervous, and that gave him an odd little thrill of hope.
She came to a halt in the middle of the room, close enough that she didn't have to raise her voice, and folded her hands in front of her. "Do you want my resignation?"
Tony started. He'd expected anger, embarrassment, maybe a genuine effort to ignore what had happened, but not that. "Hell no. Bite your tongue, Potts, you know I can't survive without you."
Her tense fingers relaxed a fraction, but her expression didn't change. "Then I suppose we need to talk."
She was still wearing the ring, he noticed with a rush of relief. He'd been afraid that she might decide to give up on the whole thing, but the wide band was still in place on her third finger. "Yeah, we do."
He stepped forward, gesturing her towards the couch. "Sit down, Pepper, please. Do you want some coffee?"
Pepper shook her head politely and seated herself on the edge of the cushions, feet tucked neatly together as if she were ready to stand up again at any moment. Tony scowled at her in genuine exasperation. "Will you relax? Did you think I was going to fire you or something?"
Her mouth crimped, possibly in equal exasperation. "I don't know what to think, Mr. Stark."
He closed his eyes briefly, blowing out a breath. "Don't call me that, Pepper." Forgetting formal, he sat down next to her, not missing her twitch but choosing to ignore it, and reached over to take her left hand and run his thumb over the band. "I'm glad you didn't take this off."
"I probably should," she said, her voice low. "But not without preparing a press release first."
Tony folded his fingers around hers. "No."
Pepper stirred restlessly. "Tony...you know as well as I do that this isn't working."
"You mean it's working too well." He didn't let her hand go when she tugged. "Saturday--"
"It was a mistake." Her voice was tight, and she turned her head away. "I'm sorry that--"
"Don't apologize." Tony squeezed her hand, probably too hard, but he really didn't want to hear the rest of her sentence. In fact, what he wanted to do was kiss her again, but he knew he had to straighten out a few things first.
Pepper turned back to stare at him, her eyes wide. "But--"
He covered her mouth with his free hand, which made her jerk back in shock. "You don't have a damned thing to apologize for. I suppose I should be apologizing, except I meant what I said."
Her skin, what he could see of it, paled, and she reached up to pull his hand down. "So did I."
Her voice was cold, and Tony sighed, twisting his wrist so that he held both her hands now. "Yeah, but you're making the wrong assumption here." Her pulse was running high under his fingers, and he met her eyes. "I don't want to go back to my old habits, and frankly I think you should have figured that out already."
Pepper frowned, and Tony swallowed and went on. "I want to make this real, Pepper. I want to marry you. For real."
Her lips parted, and her fingers tightened, but then she looked away. "Tony--"
"I'm serious," he insisted, trying to find the right words. "You're what I want, and--"
"Stop." She shook free of his grip and stood in one swift motion, walking a few steps away. "Just--give me a minute."
Her back was rigid, and Tony almost followed her over, but he made himself stay still. Even though he had the feeling he wasn't going to like the next words that came out of her mouth.
Finally Pepper turned, her expression carefully calm. "Tony. I'm very flattered, but I really don't think actually getting married is a good idea."
That hurt, much more than he was expecting, but Tony matched her calm. "Why not?" He already had a number of arguments lined up, but he wanted to shoot hers down first.
"You don't do long-term relationships." Pepper folded her arms.
"There's a first time for everything." He stood up to meet her eyes on a level. "I'm not pretending it'll be easy, but I'm a pretty determined guy when I want something."
Her cheeks pinkened slightly, and again that small rush of hope made itself felt. "Why me? There's any number of more suitable women out there. Ones who would have no qualms about marrying a superhero."
"I don't trust them. I trust you." It was the truth, but for some reason it made Pepper flinch.
"Tony--" She unfolded her arms, and stepped forward to lay one on his chest, right over his arc implant. "I'm convenient. I know you already, and yes, you trust me. But if you didn't have this, would you even be considering getting married, let alone to me?"
The thought hadn't even crossed his mind, because it simply didn't apply. Tony blinked, trying to marshal an answer, but Pepper kept going. "I understand that you...are attracted to me." Her blush deepened slightly. "But that's not enough to build a marriage on. This happened by accident, and it sounds like a good idea to you, but what if someone else comes along who's more than just convenient?"
She let her hand fall. Tony stood very still, because he wanted to refute her arguments, wanted to point out that he loved her, and when did that happen? his brain asked quietly, but her reasoning was damnably logical.
Because the idea of marriage hadn't really entered his head until it had been put there by a ring a fraction too small. Even his ideas about a long-term relationship had been hazy; he hadn't thought much beyond the bliss of finally becoming Pepper's lover, of--hopefully--discovering that she felt the same way about him.
"I can't imagine wanting anyone but you," he said at last, barely audible, and Pepper shrugged sadly.
"A year ago, could you have imagined any of this?" The wave of her hand took in all the impossible changes. When he didn't reply, she smiled, small and equally sad. "Think about it, Tony. Be honest with yourself."
She turned to walk away, and he caught her arm. "What if I do?" he said roughly. "What if I do and I still want you?"
Pepper looked back at him, but she'd tucked her emotions away and he couldn't tell what she was feeling. "If you do, then we'll talk again."
It was clear that she didn't think he would, and that hurt too. And made him angry again, but Tony tightened his jaw and kept himself calm. "All right."
Pepper nodded once, and slipped the ring from her finger with the same ease with which he'd put it on. "Do you want this back? I could say it was in for cleaning."
She held it out to him, and Tony let her arm go and took it, but only to pick up her left hand and put it back on. "Keep it. We can decide...anything else...later."
"Very well." Her beringed hand closed in a fist, and her lips quirked. "I have a busy day. I'd better get to work."
He watched her head back towards the front hall, but just before she would vanish from view he spoke. "Pepper."
She turned halfway, listening, and Tony folded his arms. "What happened on the boat...I would never, ever take you that lightly."
It was true. He had always made it clear to his past lovers that he wanted no more than a night, or a week; some of them thought they could change his mind, but that was another issue. One of the reasons he'd never pushed past flirting with Pepper, ever, was because he had always known that with her, it would have to be more.
She blinked, he could see the flicker of her eyelid in profile, and then dipped her chin in austere acknowledgment. And then she was gone.
Tony waited until he heard the door close behind her, and then peeled off his jacket and half-ran downstairs.
The day was long, and as promised Tony spent a large part of it thinking--sometimes in silence, sometimes straining the speakers with heavy metal. He tinkered and fiddled, letting his hands occupy themselves while his brain wrestled with the problem Pepper had handed him.
First he thought about the device in the middle of his chest. Implicit in Pepper's questions had been--was he choosing her because she already knew about his arc implant? Because he wouldn't have to trust his secret to anyone else?
The idea irritated him, but Tony had to admit that she had the right to know whether she was really his choice, or just the one fate had presented to him.
But I've wanted her for a long time, before this. He tapped the reactor thoughtfully, pondering. I just wasn't--ready.
And in retrospect, Tony was grateful that Pepper had never given into his flirting, because sex would have meant the end of their relationship, professional or otherwise. And he would be lost without her.
Of course, if she had, she wouldn't be Pepper...
When did I fall for her?
He did love her. That was not in question. Tony knew it as deeply as he knew he was doing the right thing in becoming Iron Man; the knowledge came from the same place inside him, an unshakeable certainty.
The real question, genius, is does she love you?
He'd been trying to woo her for weeks now, but obviously with much less success than he'd thought. Or perhaps she'd just taken it all as part of their masquerade, as false a front as their public kisses. Tony frowned at the tiny servomotor he was adjusting, and sighed. I didn't think this would be easy...but...
Setting the device down, he leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. The memories rose in his mind's eye--opening the plain package to find a gentle tease beneath, still glowing blue. The sight of Pepper nerving herself up to put her hand into his chest. The blurry remembrance of her doing the same as he lay helpless in a hospital bed...
...The weight of a blanket tucked carefully around him when he woke to a sea morning.
In that moment, he knew. Rhodey had found him, but Pepper had saved him--three times and counting. By her reddened eyes, by a sentimental gift, by her furious, terrified efficiency in the aftermath of Stane's death, she had given herself away.
By the simple care of a warm cover to keep him from the cold.
She does love me.
It was a very humbling thought. Humbling and exalting both. Tony shivered, letting the strange delightful feeling sink in, and smiled in wonder.
And then frowned.
So why the hell is she arguing?
It hadn't escaped his notice that Pepper had never once said that she didn't want to marry him. Her doubt still angered him, but Tony was starting to wonder if it was herself Pepper doubted, not just his fidelity. Her statement about convenience left a bad taste in his mouth; it implied thoughtlessness on his part and unworthiness on hers.
That just made him angrier, because while he'd dated more beautiful women, few of them could match her in intelligence, acumen, or ability. Or patience, or humor for that matter...
And it's not like she's not quite the package herself. Tony closed her eyes to indulge in a minute of appreciative lust, feeling his body stir at the thought. Her endless legs, her slim form, that lower lip he was falling in love with all by itself, the wide-spaced eyes that he ached to see darken with equal lust when he kissed her...
I want her. I want all of her--brains, body...heart.
Tony knew he could trust Pepper. He knew he could depend on her. All he had to do was convince her that she could do the same when it came to him.
Okay. How?
He didn't know. But that in itself gave him an idea.
Slowly, Tony smiled.
It wasn't even hard to arrange. Tony had Jarvis call Pepper and politely request her time after the workday was over, just as if it were an ordinary Monday and he had need of her, and she acquiesced with equal politeness. Tony sent Happy to pick her up, and spent the waiting time taking a shower and putting on clean clothes; he'd gotten fairly greasy over the course of the day.
He went for semi-formal again--not because he felt he needed the armor, but because Pepper deserved no less. He dug up a bottle of the pinot grigio she liked and took it and two glasses out to the patio overlooking the ocean, and waited, watching the sun sink and trying to quell the flutter in his stomach.
Because he knew the truth, but he also knew that it might not be enough.
Jarvis' voice coming from the living room let him know that Pepper had arrived; the AI was directing her to Tony, and she appeared at the sliding door, composed and unruffled and completely closed.
That alone told him that she was nervous, and Tony bit back a smile and waved. "Hey Potts, come on out."
Pepper stepped through the door and made her way to the low wall where he sat, the same one where Vralia had posed them. Tony poured the wine and offered her a glass, and she hesitated but took it.
"You were right," he started, and Pepper went pale. Oops. He hurried on. "I did need to think about this."
She swallowed, and her fingers clenched on the stem of the glass; then she set it down and reached for the ring still on her finger. Tony tightened his lips and grabbed her hand.
"Will you stop that? And let me finish?"
Her eyes narrowed, the first sign of temper he'd seen since Saturday and something of a relief. "Then finish, Tony."
He kept her hand, turning it over in his and rubbing his thumb across her palm. "I spent the day thinking, and you made some good points, but my mind's made up. I want to marry you. I want it all, Pepper."
Pepper closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath and clearly reaching for control. "Tony...I'm not..."
"Not what? Not everything I want? Everything I need? In love with me?" That made her flinch, but Tony moved closer, narrowing the gap between them. "I know you are, Pepper, and while I'd love to know how long it's been, that can wait."
The pulse in her throat was beating madly; he wanted to taste it. But Pepper shook her head, pulling her hand free of his grip. "Tony, don't. I can't do this, I can't be this impulsive. What you say may be true--"
He raised a brow. "Try is."
She swallowed again and went on. "--But I think you can do better than marrying your personal assistant just because an accident put the idea into your head."
"Bullshit." She winced, and Tony inhaled, frustrated at her stubbornness but ready to play his ace. "I know what I want, Pepper, and I've wanted it for a long time now. You just weren't ready to hear it."
He took another step forward, crowding her, and Pepper moved back. "Here's the question I want an answer for. What do I have to do to convince you that I want you?"
He watched as she jerked in reaction, her cheeks pinkening. Pepper opened her mouth, but then closed it, apparently at a loss for words, and Tony grinned. I guessed right.
"Exactly. There isn't anything, is there?" He edged her back towards the wall of the house. "I think I'm insulted."
Pepper's chin firmed. "You haven't exactly been a model of fidelity, Tony." The asperity in her voice was at odds with the way her eyes wouldn't quite meet his. "Maybe--" Her voice wobbled. "Maybe I do love you, but can you blame me for not wanting to risk my heart any more than I already have?"
"You know, before the day's over I intend to get you to say that without the qualifier," Tony said thoughtfully, taking one more step forward so that Pepper bumped into the brick behind her. It was easy to plant his hands on either side of her, so that she was caged between the house and his body. Tony leaned in, feeling her rapid breath rush over his face.
"I want you. I love you," he said softly, holding her gaze with his own. "I want that ring to stay on your finger, and I want yours on mine, so everybody can see it. I trust you, and maybe that's why I can love you, but either way I need you to believe me, because it's true. It has been for a long time and it's not changing."
Pepper was absolutely still, tension humming through her, and Tony kept going. Speaking the truth was unexpectedly terrifying, but he knew that sometimes to win you had to risk it all. "If you really don't want to marry me, that's another thing, but Pepper, I think you do."
And he stopped, out of words. The moment seemed endless, poised on the edge of something unnameable, waiting on the woman he held captive. Those lovely eyes were wide, and they searched his with an intensity he rarely saw in her, a need that was as deep as his own. Tony didn't flinch; for the first time that he could remember, he let someone--Pepper--look into him without reservation.
It was almost as frightening as telling her the truth. His heart seemed to squeeze, tightness sharpening towards pain as he waited for her word. But whatever she was searching for she seemed to find, because she sighed.
And closed the gap between them, meeting his lips with hers.
He'd kissed Pepper often enough by now to know her taste, but this time was different, because he didn't have to hold back anything. Tony pulled her to him, reveling in the way her mouth opened to him, the way her hands were sliding under his jacket to clutch at the fabric of his shirt. Yes, yes, yes was all he could think, stunned triumph mixing with relief and the indescribable bliss of Pepper, willing, in his arms.
It felt right, it felt perfect--Tony felt as though he'd been hungry for this forever, and his heart beat hard, the pain subsumed by joy as that hunger was finally fed. Pepper--
She was shaking, but then so was he, and Tony pressed her back against the wall, aligning them more closely. He wanted close--he wanted no more doubt, no more pretending. Nothing but the two of them, as they should be.
Pepper pulled away enough to suck in a breath, and Tony switched to the elegant line of her jaw and throat, finally able to press his lips to her thrumming pulse. "So?" he muttered in between kisses. "Yes or no?"
She laughed, and one of her hands tangled in his hair, tugging until he lifted his head. "Tony--"
He met her eyes again, and her lips curled up in that marvelous smile. "All right. Yes," she said faintly.
Tony blinked, almost unable to take in her words, an unstoppable grin stretching his mouth. "Really?"
Pepper laughed again, her hand slipping down to his shoulder. "Yes--"
He cut off her next words with another kiss, long and sweet and this time definitely possessive. They were both out of breath when it was over, and he kept grinning. "Really truly? Forever and a day? Till death do us part?"
She sobered a bit at that, and reached up to touch his lips with two fingers. "Yes."
Tony freed one hand to press hers to his mouth. "Good," he said against her skin, delighted as she shivered. He kissed her fingertips and then wrapped her hand in his. "And believe me, it will be, Potts, there's no way I'm letting you go. Now will you move the hell in?"
Pepper blinked, and Tony lifted her arm a little to kiss her wrist pulse too. "You can have your own room, I don't want to push you, Pepper--hell, you can have a whole wing if you want, but please don't go away any more--"
The words tumbled out as if her acquiescence had unlocked him, and he realized he sounded a bit desperate, but-- Fuck it. I am desperate.
Pepper leaned in and kissed him, stopping his babble, and Tony hummed happily and let her hand go to gather her close again. He'd suspected she would be a perfect fit long before he'd danced with her, and he'd been right.
When she had him dizzy, Pepper broke the kiss and met his gaze again. "I'll move in eventually, Tony, but not right this minute." She shook her head, looking a little dizzy herself. "You...I...I need time to process this."
He wanted to know how much time, but Tony knew better than to ask. Instead he swung her away from the wall, then around again in two more turns, half-dancing for sheer joy before collapsing onto one of the chaises and pulling her down on top of him. Pepper squeaked, eyes wide, but before she could argue Tony wrapped his arms around her again and settled her against him. "Can we just stay like this for a little while? The next decade maybe?"
He meant the words to be lighthearted, but they came out a little more serious than he was intending. Pepper gave him another long look, then leaned forward to press a gentler kiss on his lips. "Sure."
Tony was half-afraid she was humoring him, but the sigh she gave as she let her head rest on his shoulder told him otherwise. She was warm and light and soft, and he swallowed hard, the elation of a moment before distilling into something quieter but no less intense. He couldn't remember ever feeling like this with any woman, wanting to just hold her close as if to make sure she was still there, but this wasn't just any woman. It was Pepper, and she was so far beyond his past conquests as to be in a different category entirely.
So he pressed his nose into her hair and let his muscles unwind, savoring the weight of her and the knowledge that she really did want him--with all his flaws and quirks. And realizing that while she might have given him the gift of her love, he had to keep it.
One of the reasons he'd avoided relationships was that they were work, and he always had more important things to do. But he'd reworked his priorities after Afghanistan, and this one fit right in next to removing his weapons from the wrong hands.
He didn't just want a lover, or a wife, he wanted a partner. Lucky for me, I already have one. And she's just agreed to be all three.
"You know, Jimmy's going to laugh at us," Pepper said eventually, sounding amused and equally relaxed. Tony smirked, and rubbed his cheek against the top of her head.
"Let him. Platypus is probably jealous."
"Mmm." She squirmed, and reluctantly Tony loosened his arms, afraid that she wanted to leave him. But instead Pepper sat up a little, turning to face him, and kissed him with slow, delicious care.
It was a little odd, he thought under a haze of bliss, to just share kisses with a woman with no other immediate goal in mind. In the past, he would have been bored within moments, wanting either to be hurrying towards sex or to be up and doing. But it was enough, more than enough, to do just this, leisurely tasting and caressing, twining his fingers in Pepper's hair and feeling her hand cup gently over his arc implant through his shirt.
She wasn't a diversion. She was his center. She was what he needed.
Tony didn't know if Pepper needed him, not the same way. But as their breaths mingled and he heard her purr of pleasure, he vowed silently that if ever she did, he would meet that need.
Eventually, his stomach interrupted them, growling loudly. Tony grinned ruefully at Pepper's chuckle, and she sat up slowly, her hair in lovely disarray and her face a little pink where his beard had scraped her. Tony made a mental note to dig up the conditioner he'd stopped using in recent months, and stretched.
"Dinner's on me, Potts--go out or stay in?"
She stood, and held out a hand. "Stay in, definitely."
He took it and let her pull him up. "Your wish is my command. Let me check the freezer."
Pepper looked surprised. "You're not going to order in?"
He wanted to kiss her again, but if he started that they'd be distracted for another half-hour at least, and he was hungry. "On rare occasions I do cook. Mostly to win bets with Rhodey."
That made her laugh out loud, and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and waved him towards the sliding door. "This I have to see."
They ended up using the big grill on the patio, barbecuing chicken and vegetables on skewers, and Tony refused to let Pepper help with anything but slicing some of the vegetables. It felt very domestic when they sat down at the table in the luminous evening, Pepper delicately pulling her skewer apart but getting sauce on her mouth anyway, and Tony only spared a moment to wonder that the sensation wasn't sending him screaming away.
I guess it's true--when you have the right person, it doesn't matter.
After dinner, Pepper helped him clear the table, but when he opened his mouth to suggest retiring to the couch for more necking, she spoke first. "I should be getting home, I think."
Tony wiped his hands on a dishtowel and tossed it onto the counter, then stepped forward to pull her into his arms. Pepper went willingly, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders, but her expression told him she was not going to be coaxed out of her decision.
He had to try, though. "Are you sure you don't want to stay? I was serious about the room, you know. If you like I'll promise not to cross the threshold."
Yeah, Rhodey was definitely going to laugh himself sick, but Tony really didn't care.
Pepper's lips firmed. "Process, Tony, remember? I think you could use a little time too."
"I hate it when you're right," he sighed, and reached up to take her left hand and press a kiss to the ring.
Pepper smiled with a touch of wonder. "I didn't--" She bit her lip and stopped, and Tony raised his brows inquiringly.
"What? I promise I won't bite, Potts. Unless you want me to."
That made her dimple, and she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you, earlier," she told him quietly. "I just--"
"Don't," Tony broke in, aching a little at the apology. "Pepper, you had every right to ask, and as you said I'm not exactly the poster boy for relationships."
Pepper's eyes shimmered with amusement and exasperation, and the dimple deepened. "Will you let me finish?" she asked sweetly.
Tony snapped his jaw shut and tried to look compliant. Pepper reached up to touch his mouth again. "As I was saying...it's sometimes hard to believe when something you want with all your heart suddenly comes true. Especially when you never thought you'd actually get it."
His own heart swelled, the sweetest pain he'd ever felt. Pepper lowered her hand and brushed his lips with her own. "I do love you," she murmured, the words whispering across his skin. "And if you have the courage to say it, I can't do any less."
That did it. Tony lifted her off her feet, until her head was above his, and leaned up to kiss her hard, sealing the truth between them. The joy of earlier was eclipsed by this ecstacy, and he knew that whatever else happened, he had this one perfect moment.