*~*~*Jacob's Point Of View*~*~*
"Blondie! I've got another one for you! What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home?" Jacob asked as Rosalie walked back into the room with the rest of us girls.
"She moved, mongrel. Get some new material," Rose spat at him. Rose and Jake had their good days and their bad days. I guess this would be a bad one.
"Down kitty," Emmett joked when Rose hissed at Jake. Rose lunged at Emmett, growling. Oh yes, we were keeping up the normal human façade perfectly.
"That's it Emmett Cullen! I'm not having sex with you for a week!" Rose yelled. I stifled a giggle. I doubted highly that they would last that long. I would bet they would be going at it like rabbit's the moment we get sprung from this hell.
"Enough! Rosalie go sit between Esme and Alice and don't move. Emmett, between Edward and Jasper. Don't make me give Jacob and Jasper permission to start painting your cars hot pink and baby spit-up green. Don't think I won't. Got it?" Carlisle shouted, glaring at them.
"Oh whatever," Rose said, throwing herself into her chair. Emmett on the other had just sat down wordlessly.
"Always the drama queen," I mumbled.
"Go to hell Bella. Why can't you ever just shut up?" she bitched.
"Oh it's on like Donkey Kong you whore!" I shouted, jumping over across the table to choke her. I had a feeling Jasper was fueling my anger.
I bashed her head into the floor, being careful not to dent the wonderful Dr. Giggles floor. We wouldn't want to have to explain that one.
Edward grabbed me from behind, dragging me off of Rose while Emmett kept Rose pinned to the ground. I growled but didn't prevent Edward from hauling me from the floor into his lap.
"Sit still love," he whispered in my ear.
"So, I would like to ask you all a question. Who are James, Victoria, and Laurent? And why are they deceased?" Dr. Giggles asked, ignoring the fight that just broke out in his office. I had a feeling he would be ignoring a lot of things from now on.
"May I?" I asked the family. They all nodded in agreement. I had already thought of the perfect cover story in the time it took them all to nod.
"Dr. Giggles, James tried to maliciously murder me. Edward protected me from him in an act of self-defense. Victoria, James' lover, attempted to extract revenge on me. Seth and Edward protected me. I believe she drove her car off of a cliff when she realized she would never be able to kill me. Laurent was their friend. He didn't take the news of their deaths well. He got drunk one night and walked into the wrong group of people. They killed him. Edward was never charged with anything, nor was Seth," I explained. So what if that's not exactly how it happened? I couldn't really give him the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, now could I?
"Why did James wish to do you harm?" Dr. Giggles asked, scared.
"We never found out. He died before he told us. I believe he may have killed before," I said, not looking at Dr. Giggles but at Edward.
When I turned back to look at Dr. Giggles, his mouth was slack and he looked in shock. "Edward, is he okay?" I whispered just loud enough for my love to hear.
"Yes. He's just having a moment. Apparently, the look on your face when you were talking about them was very unnerving," Edward chuckled.
"Collin? Are you alright?" Carlisle asked loudly after Dr. Giggles had been silent for over 2 minutes.
"Huh? Oh yes, I'm fine. Sorry, where were we?" Dr. Giggles said. "Oh yes, Bella, how do you feel about the fact that Jasper almost killed you?"
Oh great, here we go again. Can't the past stay well, in the past. "I'm fine with it Doctor. He didn't mean me any harm. I just accidentally got in his way. He was having a bad day and he lunged at me. He ended up causing me to fall into a stack of glass plates. Nothing to major. But he was forgiven before I even hit the ground. Being a hungry vegetarian with fresh meat near is a difficult thing to live with. Makes one moody. Oh doc I don't think you know this but Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Ashley, Lucas, Maggie, and myself are vegetarians," I explained to him, flashing him a smile.
"You're all vegetarians? That's an interesting lifestyle choice. Isn't it difficult that only some of you are vegetarians though?" He asked. He should be happy we're vegetarians. If we weren't he would be a dead man. Though I'm not sure any of us would really want to drink someone as foul smelling as Dr. Giggles.
"Yes we are. And no it's not. We all have learned to live with each other. Sure the temptation is always there when only half of the family are vegetarians but the other half doesn't intentionally tempt us or anything like that," Carlisle smiled.
"We all fall off of the bandwagon everyone now and then though, don't we Eddiepoo?" Emmett teased.
"You should know Emmett. After all you fall off a lot more than I do, don't you?" Edward challenged.
"Getting back on track, Alice do you feel you are dependent on shopping?" Dr. Giggles asked. We all had to laugh. Even Alice giggled a little.
"I'm not dependent on shopping. I just think it's a good outlet for stress. You know, I could do wonders with this room. All it would take is a couple buckets of paint and maybe some new furniture…" Alice commented, her eyes glazing over.
"Alice you are not going to redecorate the nice doctors office. Calm down," Jasper said. He looked like he was on an emotional overload.
"Yeah Ali, calm down before you give Mr. Emo an emotional breakdown," Emmett said.
"I'm not EMO!" Jasper shouted before throwing an apple at Emmett. Well the apple did look better covering Emmett's head. Though Jasper threw it with enough force that Emmett should have been knocked unconscious.
"Bitch that hurt!" Emmett whined. I truly doubted it did but it looks better if Emmett is at the very least in pain. "When we get home you're a dead man."
"You know, I think Springer would have been just as effective as therapy," commented Lucas in a bored voice.
"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" We all chanted, except for Carlisle, Esme, and Dr. Giggles. We would make the most interesting episode of Jerry Springer ever. Sometimes I have to wonder if Springer isn't a vampire himself because he's been on air forever and he's old as shit and hasn't like changed a bit. Emmett is obsessed with that show. It's quite sad actually.
Dr. Giggles, being the man he was, simply ignored all of the outbursts. "Carlisle, Esme? I would like to speak with you privately before I dismiss you all for today. Then during our next session I would like to begin the couples sessions. The children can leave now if they wish."
"That's fine doctor. Kids, go ahead and go home, we'll be home soon," Carlisle said.
"And that house better be standing in one piece with every single wall in tact or so help me god I will have to kill each and every one of you," whispered Esme, to low for Dr. Giggles to hear.
We walked together down the halls of the hospital, earning stares. It was a really big hospital for such a small town but it serviced all of the surrounding towns too. We were, of course, something to behold. All of us insanely gorgeous and graceful. Even Claire was beyond beautiful and she was still human. But I think that it's just a matter of time before she becomes one of us. She's already begged every available vampire to turn her on her 18th birthday.
"So…that went swimmingly…Don't y'all think?" I giggled.
We all laughed, arms linked, as we walked across the parking lot towards our cavalcade of cars. Of course Jake had to make one last comment before we left.
"Yo, Blondie! Why do blondes like lightning?" Jake asked, laughing. I knew the answer to this one!
"I don't know, mutt," Rose spat at him.
Before Jacob had a chance to finish the joke I answered, "Because they think it's someone taking their picture!"
A/N: So…I just wanted to finish up the first day of therapy. Up next will not be the conversation between Carlisle and Esme with Dr. Giggles but instead it will be at home and the aftermath of the first day. Today's recommendation is for sillybella. Go check out her story The Past Comes Back To Bite You. It's a really good story. I'm only on chapter 10 right now. Also check out her one-shots. They're made good. I think I'm going to have to start hiding all sugar and caffeine related products from my readers. I am also sorry if the hysterical laughter caused by reading my story gets you in trouble with your parents, or twin. Love you all! Review! Please? I promise to update soon.