CHAPTER 2 TARANTULAS

A few minutes after Megatron stormed out of the studio and a comercial break for dentures went by the host said. "All righty then. Our next guest is that crazy spider who laughs too much and too often and whose chosen form at the beginnng was female. Please welcome Tarantuals."

The crowd cheered as the lunatic mad scientist spider (In transmetal 1 form) came out of the guest lounge and onto the stage. He sat down on the couch and started giggling to himself. The host raised an eyebrow at him. "What's so funny?" she asked.

"Oh nothing, tehehehehe," the spider cackled.

"Right," the host said, giving him a look. "So Tarantulas, do you like ice cream?"

"Ice cream? What is that?"

"Frozen milk with cream and flavor added."

"No I don't like ice cream, I'm lactose intolerate."

"Okay, I understand that." she nodded. "So you're a robot right?"

"Yes, teeeheeheehhehe."

"Did you know you're first beast mode was female?"

He stared at her. "It was?"

"Yup," the host said. "So you Mr. Spiderman were running around in a female from," the host snorted. "No wonder Wayward made you a woman in her fanfic."

"I don't read fanfiction," he informed her. "Especially ones that make me a femme."
"Okay then I'll ask something else. If you're a robot why do you eat animals?" the host wanted to know. "You tried to eat Cheetor and an antelope. I thought you Cybertronians only ate Energon."

"We do but I enjoy sucking the life out of things weaker than me," the spider replied, poking the host. "I wonder what yours tastes like?"

"Oh no you don't! I'm the host! You can't eat the host!" she held up a can of bug spray.

Tarantulas laughed at her again then looked at the audiance. "Can I eat them?"

"No! You can't eat the audiance!" the host shouted.

"I wanted to eat some fangirls," the spider muttered, bummed.

"Be lucky you have fangirls," the host retorted. "Let's get back to the interview. Uh... are you and the Russian cassette tape Ravage budies?"

"Sorta," the spider replied. "But he's a heavy drinker. He sucks down vodka like you won't imagine!"

The host giggled. "Are you the spawn of Unicron?"

"It's best you didn't know that."

"How come after Megatron found out who you really worked for he didn't seem all that upset about it?"

"I don't know, tehehhee," Tarantulas had another giggled fit. "Maybe he forgave me."

"Oye like he'd ever do that," the host muttered. Whe she saw the look on his face she plower forward. "What did it feel like when those Vok monster things flew into your body?"

"Like a little rodent had climbed into a hole in my plating," he replied. "Vok are bad for programming. I don't need three sparks."

"Did you like getting blow up by your own system?"

"No."

"Do you have a crush on Blackarachnia?"

"Not anymore. That witch gets on my nerves like you won't believe! She's sneaky too! She snuck into my lair and switched my vials around so when I tried to make a rainbow it blew up in my face!"

The host snorted. "A rainbow?"

"My Little Pony isn't the only toy that likes rainbows."

"Okay. Did you enjoy controling Blackarachnia."

"Yes to a point, tehehehehe. One night when she was sleeping I made her lap dance Inferno." the spider cracked up. "She still has no idea how she ended up in the CR chamber when she woke the next morning."

"... did you invent the trisickle?"

"What?!"

"Sorry. I'm running out of things to ask. Uh... why are you crazy?"

"I'm not crazy, tehehehe, People just think I am because I'm a scientist."

"I know that. You're a mad scientist who likes rainbow."

"Don't knock rainbows."

"Sure... have you ever stolen Megatron's rubber ducky?"

"Did he tell you that?" the spider wanted to know. "You tell him I have no idea who took it. The last time I saw it he was talking to it in baby talk. Did you know he sings that Sesame Street song to it when he thinks no one is looking?"

"What? He does?"

"Yep!" with that the spider lifted the remote and pressed the power button. A TV screen came down from the ceiling and he turned it on. The host watched as Megatron, sitting in his hot tub with his rubber ducky and a giant scrub brush, sang the Rubber Ducky song to his duck. The audiance cracked up and the host had to force herself to keepa straight face.

"All right," she said, reaching for the remote. "I see you aren't lying now can we please get back to the interview-"

Suddenly Megatron burst into the room. He saw them watching the tape and heard the laughter and lost his temper. 'TARANTULAS!" he yelled. "YOU PROMISED TO NEVER SHOW THAT TAPE TO ANYONE!"

"Oh I'm sorry, tehehee," the spider said, turning to him. "I didn't know you were so embarressed about it."

Megatron stalked toward the stage, charging up his tail weapon. "Give me the tape and I won't damage you badly, yessss."

"You mean this tape?" the spider asked, ejecting it from the VCR and holding it up.

"Yes that one, give it!" he lunged for the tape but the spider went into beast mode and crawled up the wall. "Come and get me, tehehheee!"

"GET DOWN HERE!" Megatron shouted, shooting at the spider who just scurried around the ceiling, laughing at his boss' bad aim.

The host, not wanting her studio to be destroyed again, got out of her chair and grabbed Megatron's arm. "Hey! Hold it!" she shouted. "No shooting in here! I don't need my studio demolished again. I don't have insurance! If you wanna fight take it outside!" she looked up at Tarantuals. "Give him the take before he collapses the roof!"

"Fine," the spider said, throwing the tape to Megatron. "Here you go, teehehehehe."

Megatron caught the tape and started out of the studio. "Don't think you're off the hook, spider!" he yelled at Tarantuals.

When he was gone Tarantulas went back into robot mode and dropped from the ceiling. The host stared at him. 'You gave that to him pretty easily. That's not like you."

"That's because I made copies. Tehehehehee."

A/N

Hope you enjoyed that. I would have done Dinobot but I wanted to save him for last.