It was all quite a blur. . . Chuck getting shot to protect me. . .The Fulcrum agent grazing me with a bullet after missing another shot at me. . . Casey and the calvary coming in and taking the Fulcrum team into custody. . . Chuck being put in the ambulance and being rushed to the hospital. . . It all happened so fast. But now every second seemed like an hour.

The idea of Chuck getting hurt to protect me – well me and our baby – was unbearable.

Why did Chuck have to be so sweet, protective and heroic? I still don't understand.

I nervously waited for the doctors to come and give me an update. I wanted to go see Chuck and make sure he was okay.

The last time I had seen Chuck, he was bleeding, lying face up, on the ground.

I couldn't have that image of Chuck be stuck in my head much longer. . .

After what felt like an eternity, the door to my observation room opens. Ellie and Devon walk in slowly. Unfortunately, neither of them are Chuck's attending doctor so we all sit together solemnly waiting for any word on the injured one we love.

I look at Ellie's tear-stained face and I can tell that inside her heart is aching. The boy she raised, her innocent, sweet, little brother could be dying and there is nothing she can do to stop it.

Simultaneously, we all look up as Chuck's doctor, a nervous looking man whose name tag read Dr. Faraday finally walks in.

"Dr. Bartow...er, sorry. Dr. Woodcomb, could you come with me for a moment?"Dr. Faraday says stumbling over his words.

Ellie nods and follows him outside the door. My heart starts pounding in my chest. What could he be telling her that he had to bring her out of the room for? Is Chuck...? I can't even think that, he has to be alive, he just has to.

Dr. Faraday walks back in and I see Ellie going down the hall to the room where they were working on Chuck.

"Is Chuck alr...?"Devon starts to ask.

"His condition is stable. Mr. Bartowski sustained a single gunshot wound to his left shoulder, but the bullet passed straight through without damaging any bones or vital organs He can probably go home sometime tomorrow. . . However. . . " He over enunciated the last word he said, almost as if he were buying time, trying to figure out how to say whatever was coming next.

". . . When Mr. Bartowski work up, he was disoriented – which is completely understandable given the circumstance – so we had our psychologist, Dr. Burke, analyze him. And as far as the trauma goes, he's completely fine, and doesn't even remember what happened. But. . . "

"'But' what? There's something you're not telling us." I asked, my worry for Chuck escalating.

"But, he seems to be suffering from a great deal of post traumatic stress, in a very unique way actually. . . He seems to have reverted to the mindset of a younger version of himself, perhaps because his way of dealing with the trauma was to go back- mentally- to a time where everything was all right."

"Wait, you're saying that. . ." The doctor cut me off mid sentence.

"It's a coping mechanism. The brain is a uniquely made and marvelous piece of equipment. And every brain is different. And after going through a traumatic event, like a drive-by shooting, his brain had to find a way to protect itself. To prevent Mr. Bartowski from having to process anything more complex."

If Dr. Faraday had the clearance, he would catch the irony of his choice of words, when saying that Chuck's brain is a "marvelous piece of equipment." And Chuck's unique coping mechanism might make more sense to him if he knew that this 'traumatic event' was no drive-by shooting.

"A younger version of himself?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and honestly I was more of a concerned girlfriend than a CIA handler at this point.

"Yes. . . Possibly around the age of eight or nine. Everything past there he seems to have blocked out entirely."

"is. . . Can I go see him?"

"He probably won't remember you. . . " Those words cut like the sharpest of knives. ". . . But you may go see him. . ." Dr. Faraday said, nervously fixing his tie.

I didn't bother to thank the doctor as I left Devon behind in the observation room.

I wasn't fully processing all of this. . . It didn't seem real. . . I wanted to think this was some sick joke or an extremely vivid nightmare, but I never woke up. . .

I walked frantically down the hall and met Ellie outside of Chuck's room. She looked as distraught as I had been feeling. . .

"Did he tell you?"

"Mmhmm." Was all I managed to respond with.

"I just talked to him. He's awake. He knew who I was, well kind of. . . I told him about mom and dad leaving, and I did my best to fill him in on why he's here. I told him about you. I told him you were his friend and that you were going to come see him. . . Sarah it's so hard to see him like this." Ellie said, a few tears escaping from her eyes.

"I'm sorry all of this has happened."

"Sarah, this isn't your fault."

"I know, but I should have protected him." A wave a guilt came over me.

"You did all that you could." Ellie reassured, putting her hand on my shoulder.

I nod conceding to what she had said, though on the inside I was still blaming myself. "I'm gonna go see him." I say as I slowly open the door to Chuck's hospital room.

My heart rate increased as I walked through the door way, unsure of what to expect. This wasn't the kind of thing I was trained to react to. My steps forward were slow as I walked toward the hospital bed.

I couldn't bring my eyes up from the ground, simply because I wasn't ready to see him. That made everything too real. . .

When I walked as far as my feet could take me, I looked up slowly, frightened and shocked by what I was seeing. . . It wasn't what I had expected at all. . .

............................

A/N, Dr. Faraday and Dr. Burke are in fact 'Lost' references.