"She needs to stay, she cannot go back to that demon!" A man's voice said in a frustrated whisper. Nanami's eyes slowly opened. She could see she was in a room with arches and a tall ceiling, but she didn't make out much else for she closed her eyes in response to the throbbing headache and pain in her stomach.

"He is the son of my greatest ally. He is worthy of our respect and trust."

"Just because of his heritage? General, with all due respect, do you know the man? His beliefs, actions, his past?"

"I trust my daughter's judgement."

Then no one spoke. Nanami could only hear footsteps and the sound of a door opening and room fell silent. Nanami listened closely, and she could discern two men arguing in hushed voices, her father and the younger commander, and the sound of wooden chimes. She frowned and sat up slowly on the bed, cringing from the pain in her wound. She looked around and saw that she was in a huge bed with red covers and a thick fur throw. It was really dark, with only a faint light coming in through the heavy curtains that covered the only window. -Where the hell am I?- Nanami slowly stood up from the bed, feeling as if her whole entire body hadn't moved in days. She took a few deep breaths to collect herself and walked over to the covered window. Her fingers took a firm hold of the curtains and pulled them open. The morning light blinded her for a brief moment, but gradually her eyes made out a familiar, snow covered terrain. She was looking at her home city, on the shore of a giant lake that the natives commonly referred to as a sea. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and everything was covered with a crisp, white blanket. The stone city was a short distance away from the shore, which was studded with boulders and bluffs emerging from the waters and gradually merging into the massive mountains surrounding most of the coast. The city was guarded from all sides by mountains and water, but no stone walls. The small city was very organized with clean, well lit streets, and no scrambled alleyways and buildings leaning over one another. There were grand palaces on the mountainside, somewhat obscured by the forest, and the smaller homes were all located closer to the shore, with their own gardens and plots. Off to the side, upon a hill that turned into a cliff and plunged 30 feet or so to the water, stood a large stone palace which served as the capital building where all the elders, leaders and military officials would gather to decide upon issues. But the building also served as the city hall, where balls, celebrations and meetings took place. Down the street that twisted up to the building on the hill was the sprawling library, which contained thousands of books, scripture, scrolls, maps, documents, records and art.

Memories flooded Nanami's mind as her eyes skimmed over her home city. Smoke billowed out of the holes in the roofs of the homes as the inhabitants slowly awakened. Nanami watched four little kids throw snowballs and chase each other into the woods. The sight brought back a memory of herself as a child, doing the same with her long gone friends. She then remembered her dream, the one where she saw herself and Sesshoumaru, as children, when nothing was complicated and the world was simple and peaceful, playing in the woods. Nanami took a deep breath and stepped away from the window. -Where is he now? Does he know I am all the way back home? ... Will I see him again?-

"The people need her here! Her place is here!-"

"Enough!!!"

Nanami was a bit startled by the shouting and glared at the door. She looked at the white linen nightgown she was wearing and tried to decide if it was appropriate for her to go out of the room looking as she did. She was'nt sure of where she was; it could've been a private home or one of the elders', and she didn't want to make the situation worse than it was. She grabbed the fur throw that rested on the bed and draped it over herself before heading toward the door and leaving the room. Only the younger commander was in the spacious hall, his arms crossed over his chest. He turned toward the young woman and walked toward her. Nanami immediatly took a few steps back, and the man got the message.

"How are you feeling?" He asked in a soothing voice.

"I'm fine, thank you... Where is my father?" Nanami responded.

"He had just left to speak with the elders. Is there anything I can do for you, my lady?"

Nanami glanced at the man awkwardly. She wasnt used to being reffered to as "my lady".

"Uh, no... no, thank you..." Nanami turned and headed back to her bedchamber. Then she stopped abruptly. "Actually... May I have my clothes back?"

"Of course, my lady."
"You don't have to say that."

"As you please. I'll send up a servant with clean clothes."

"Thank you." Nanami smiled sweetly and retreated back to the room.

Within minutes, a middle aged, petite brunette woman came into the room with folded clothes and towels in her hands.

"Good morning, princess." She said in a kind, hearty tone. Nanami smirked. The word princess reminded her of fairy tales and fragile, gorgeous girls that always relied on saviors and followed royal etiquette. -Princess? Ha, I wonder how many Princesses curse and get black eyes.-

"Good morning to you too..." Nanami replied and looked at the woman who laid out the clothes in a neat pile on the bed before placing them in a bag that she pulled out from a drawer in the bedside endtable.

"My name is Ludmila, my dear, if you do not remember. I used to be your nana when you were just a small, pudgy little flower." She smiled sweetly as she looked at Nanami, as if remenicing a long gone past. Nanami blushed wildly at being called pudgy. She secretly was always insecure as a teenage girl about how she looked, and the simple word reminded her of those foolish feelings. She laughed a little and bowed her head in what she guessed was shame.

"But now look at you...my God. So grown up, so beautiful." Ludmila came up to Nanami and observed her features, making Nanami blush once again. "You're no princess...you're a queen."

"Alright, follow me to the bath house, you must tell me where have you been these past years." Ludmila said as she draped a thick fur robe over Nanami's shoulders and placed a pair of wool boots in front of her. The elder woman led her out of the bed chamber, through the hall, down the stairs and through a grand parlor room out into the frigid morning.

"So where have you dissapeared to for all those years, my lady?" Ludmila asked, her breath visible in the cold air.

"I was home, well, here, about two years ago. But that was after I visited for a year back in Japan."

"I remember you leaving to those far shores as a child with your father... then you returned after about ten years. And you seemed confused a bit. Like you've lost your memory. But I haven't seen you since you were eight, because I left with my son for Rome, remember? But your mother would write and tell me all about what was happening at home, and she said you were changed... but would never say why. Then she told me you dissapeared again many, many years later...What happened?" Ludmila explained, becoming breathless as she hurried toward the bath house down the street.

"It's...complicated. I have met certain people that perhaps I should not have involved myself with. That's all."

Ludmila walked up to a large stone square building built into the side of a mountain and opened the doors, urging Nanami inside. She soon closed the door behind them and gently pushed Nanami through another set of large doors into a large chamber with a large spring and a set of about a dozen tubs seperated by elegant hanging drapes.

"Come, come, let's clean you up darling." Ludmila led Nanami to a bathtub near the spring with golden and red drapes. She pulled the robe off of her and urged her to get in to the hot water as a young girl who worked in the establishment dropped flower petals and leaves into the water. Nanami undressed as soon as the young girl left and quickly got into the tub before the older woman saw her.

"Rumor is...you stirred up some very serious trouble in a powerful family in that foreign land. So much so, that the family began to querrel with each other, exiled you, and...you killed the father." Ludmila said quietly, as if it was a secret, while she began to rub Nanami's back with a sponge. Nanami's chin rested on her knees as she thought about what she was told.

"That is not true..." She whispered back.

"Then what did happen?"

"I lived with the family, and the mother hated me and preffered I be a servant than a neighbor. She tended to blame all mishaps on me, including her husband cheating on her and then dying protecting his lover. That's all."

"Oh...how terrible..." Ludmila responded, but Nanami could catch the doubt in her voice. She knew there was something more to the story, but Nanami had no intention of saying much else. Especially about Sesshoumaru.

"Where did you get that scar from?" Ludmila asked as she rubbed Nanami's shoulder.

"What scar?"

"The one on your neck."

Nanami's heart skipped a beat. -Shit... what if my father saw it too? What if the elders find out? What will they say of me?-

"Oh...that...it's nothing. An old injury."

"Looks a bit peculiar." Ludmila added.

"Doesn't it?...When can I see my father?" Nanami bluffed and changed the subject.

"As soon as you're all cleaned up and fed."

"Oh...alright."

After being scrubbed clean and dressed in a glamorous burgundy dress and beige fur cloak, and being treated to a feast like she hasn't enjoyed in years, Nanami headed over to the capital building to meet with her father. A gurad led her through the decadent palace to the study in which her father worked. She opened the door and walked in, closing the door behind her.

"Good morning, papa." She said happily.

He father turned fromt he grand, bright window behind his desk to face the girl. He quickly rushed over to her and hugged her, kissing her forehead.

"Hello, my sunshine. How are you feeling? How is your wound?"

"It is fine, papa, it's nearly healed."

"Oh, I was so worried about you! I thought I was going to die on that shore...That was a stupid thing you did." He said in a typical, lecturing fatherly tone.

"Papa...stop, I did what I had to."

"What? Attempt to commit suicide?"

"I do not want the burden of someone losing their life because of me on my consience. I would not be able to live with that." Nanami was begining to get slightly offended.

"I nearly had a heart attack. And that was just a foolish thing to do... stick a dagger into yourself. That man you were protecting was a demon, much stronger than you, able to withstand more damage than you."

"Papa, you always taught me honor. He saved my life multiple times, I was endebted to him. I did what was right."

"I understand...it was noble, but still foolish...I know Sesshoumaru would have survived a minor injury, if you had to inflict one-"

"Father. How can you say that? I would never have killed him... ever."

This time, her father said nothing, just let out a heavy sigh.

"Honey...I'm afraid what you're feeling toward him cannot come true. It can't happen. The elders will not allow it. The people would revolt. I'm sorry... I know you came her to ask when you may leave to go back... but the answer is never. The elders ruled it so. They believe it is for your safety and for the safety of our people...and your power." The man slowly walked back to his desk and sat down in the chair, trying to deliver the news as carefully as he could.

Nanami was dumbstruck. She stared at her father in disbelief. -They're forbidding me to leave the country?!-

"I'm sorry, darling, but there's nothing I could've done...You know their word is law. And they are looking out for you. That's all. Give it some time, you will learn to forget and get back to your life."

"No, father, I won't. It's a little too late for that. I can't just forget him. Not after all that has happened..." Nanami walked over to her father's desk. He looked at her in shock, jumping to conclusions.

"No..." Nanami frowned, realizing what her father's expression was asking. But she untied her cloak and slipped it off, placing it on the chair in front of the oak desk. Her hair was pulled back in an elegant yet relaxed hairdo, and she turned her neck to reveal the faded mark on her neck.

Her father glared at her with a mix of shock and anger. Nanami knelt down and stared at her father, pleading with her eyes.

"I can't papa...I can't sit here, with him not knowing where I am. I at least need to see him... one more time, to let him know I'll be alright, to tell him he needs to move on. I can't just dissapear again...for the third time. I can't. He might come after me, and then get lost himself and ruin his life. I can't do this, papa, please, just let me see him once more."

"It's...not possible. The elders have notified every port, every captain, everyone that you must remain here...They fear another close encounter with death for you. They fear...you'll bring back an inpure heir... not one of our own."

Nanami frowned. -Alright, now THAT is insane...a little too far...- Nanami denied the possibility of her bearing Sesshoumaru's child, even the thought made her turn red as a tomato and avoid her father's stare. But deep down, she knew that if she came back to him, it would eventually happen...

"Fine... May I at least write him a letter?" Nanami whispered. She knew it was useless to argue with her father right now.

"No. They forbade any communication with anyone outside our borders except family."

"So I am imprisoned here? For how long?" Nanami began to get irritated. She felt like an animal locked in a cage.

"Until they decide his influence over you is gone."

Nanami glared at her father for a few seconds, then stood up straight.

"So be it... Goodbye, father, I shall not bother you. I will see you at dinner."

"Alright, I shall see you tonight..."

Nanami left the room before her father finished the sentence. Her mmind was racing. -Maybe they are right...maybe it is best if I leave him... Everytime I am near him, I endanger him...and- Even though Nanami hated the thoight, but she knew it was possible for her become the mother of his child. Nanami shuddered at the thought, but she knew it wasn't something unreal. -Grow up already- She urged herself. -Just think about what your child would face...Unwanted by both races, neglected by society for being half demon, half immortal. Your people would be ashamed of you...they're trying to protect you.- Nanami's mind reasoned, but her heart felt different. Deep down inside she knew all her thoughts were not going to change her mind. She knew sooner or later she would run away and somehow find a way to come back to him...if only for a little while. She just has to lie low for a while and try to be the leader her people expect her to be. Afterall, she cannot runaway from her responsibilities...

As the sun set, the wind picked up and made the dark waves rumble with tremendous roar. Sesshoumaru glared at the horizon out of the window of the castle of his neighbor, Daichi, the Lord of the North, who finally had forgiven his father's mishap and allied with Sesshoumaru.

"Why the moroseness, boy?" Daichi stumbled over to Sesshoumaru, a jug of sake in one hand, swinging his other arm around the young demon's shoulder. The roudy sounds of the celebration drowning out the middle-aged man's voice. Sesshoumaru glared at the man.

"Oh lighten up, it's not because of the missing girl is it? Come on, celebrate! We saved our lands and sent those renegades home!!"

Again, Sesshoumaru just scowled and looked away.

"Ahhh, don't tell me you that woman is what's driving you into seclusion! Open your eyes! Look at how many fine women are here at the castle! Look at my daughter! She will make you the happiest man on this earth!" The drunken lord turned Sesshoumaru toward a laughing young woman, with porcelein skin, pitch black, long hair, and dark eyes. She was a petite woman, fragile as a flower, with a melodic laugh and charming smile. Sesshoumaru glanced at her uninterested then stepped away from Daichi.

"I will depart for home now, enjoy the rest of your...celebration." Sesshoumaru announced indifferantly and left the castle. Daichi waved his hand at the departing demon and walked back toward the lively guest cirlce in the middle of the room.

Sesshoumaru arrived at his home on the mountain and walked into the genkan. He took off his boots and fur pelt. All the time, his mind was fixated on Nanami. He kept wondering where she was, if she was safe, if she wasn't hurt, and when she would return...or if he would have to chase her around the world again. Jaken wobbled out of the hall and bowed to his master.

"Lord Sesshoumaru! A messanger brought you a letter about midday. He didn't say anything except that its urgent." Jaken squeaked and handed Sesshoumaru a small stone cylinder. The man unlocked the cylinder and pulled out a roll of parchment. On it, written in very elegant, slanted, small cursive handwritting.

Sesshoumaru glanced at Jaken and returned to reading the letter.

If you're reading this, then I'm safe at home. But do not wait for me, Sesshoumaru. Forgive me, but it is for your own good and safety if I am home and not with you. I brought war upon you, pain, suffering and danger. Over the years that we knew each other, fate made it obvious that we are better off living seperate lives. We have spent more times fighting, shouting, arguing and running away from danger and death than enjoying each others' company. Please, I hope you understand, but we have no future together. It is far too dangerous...and useless. We fight everytime we see each other, and someone is constantly after me, putting you and everyone around us in danger. There is no future for us like this. Forgive me, I beg of you, and live your life to the fullest without me...forget our promises... I do not want to be a burden in your life, and I do not think I could live a life filled with more fear than I already have, with a more guilty conscience than already bestowed on me. Do not bother writting back to me... or trying to find me, because you will not be able to. My lands are secluded enough so for no one to find them. My people do not let strangers within our borders. However hard it may be at first, you will learn to live without me, and I will just the same...Please, for me, live your life as if I never intervened. If you love me as I love you, you would not come after me and you will move on... Forgive me, forget me...

Do not keep this letter; burn it, and think of me one last time and know that I have always loved you...

Sesshoumaru was petrified. He could not understand why Nanami would suddenly have a change of heart and dissapear. He read the letter over and over again, trying to understnad what would make her change her mind so fast. Jaken realized something was amiss and quickly retreated back to his room.

- Nanami...why are you telling me this? Why are you running away after all these years?- Sesshoumaru sat down on one of the chairs in the room, and crumbled the letter in his hands. -Fool... what were you thinking? How much longer did you think she would have kept up with the fighting, the wounds, the arguing, the tears, the running? She was already given a burden of carrying the power she has and guarding it, and you come in, accusing her of breaking up your family, making her flee constantly, losing her trust. No wonder she cannot deal with it anymore.- Sesshoumaru reasoned. Yet something deep inside was telling him this was not what it seemed, that something was askew. But Sesshoumaru dismissed the feeling as sorrow and disbelief.

-I promised to do whatever it takes for you to forgive me...if this is what you want... then as you please, Nanami. I cannot and will not ever forget you, but I promise not to chase after you, and I will miss you- what's the point? She cannot hear me. Maybe she's right, maybe fate does not want us together.-

Sesshoumaru forced the tears and pain back and remained cold and calm. But he straightened the parchment, rolled it back into its cylinder, and placed it on a shelf of a bookcase. He sat down once again and stared at the fire, remebering the warmth of Nanami's skin, her sweet smile, her kind presence, and their childhood spent together. -No matter what you say, Nanami, you will always remeber me...No matter how far you are, you are still mine, and you won't be able to change that.-