Enigmatical

By wired2damoon

Chapter 9: Forgiving And Forgetting

A/N: And finally, here's the third chapter I wrote whilst on holiday. Thankies again to all the lovely reviewers, enjoy! -wired2damoon- xx

- Quil's POV -

"I hate you."

Each tiny, solitary word shattered my heart into a million pieces. I kept hearing her voice over and over in my head, echoing in my ears. I had been having that dream, correction - nightmare, for three nights now.

Every time I closed my eyes I saw the furious, hurt, beautiful face of Claire, except my guilty conscious kept adding certain scary histrionics.

Okay so she didn't tell me she hated me but that's definitely what it felt like when she banished me from her home. But, it's not like I didn't deserve it…

I scrunched up my eyes in the darkness as I lay flat out on my bed. My heart lurched painfully as the harsh words I spoke to her was replayed over and over like a broken record.

"Of course you'd act like a spoiled, immature, selfish, little girl because that's exactly what you are."

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Never, in all the years I'd known her have I ever directly (or indirectly come to think) insulted Claire.

But something happened to me the other night, something that made me furious enough to say such horrible, insulting, unforgivable things to the most important person in my life, my world, my universe.

I was concerned.

I was hurt.

But most of all, I was jealous.

Jealousy is almost a natural feeling to a werewolf where their imprint in concerned.

Especially if their imprint is universally beautiful. Like Claire.

Now I'll admit, I'm a bit biased but I can honestly say that imprint or not, Claire Marie Young, is amazing. Now only is she beautiful, but she's the smartest, funniest, kindest girl I've ever met. And it kills me that some other guy gets to notice all these things about her, gets to spend time with her, gets to kiss her…

I shot bolt upright in my bed at that last thought, my whole body shaking.

No, there was no way I was going to get some hormonal, teenage, sexually frustrated boy anywhere near my Claire.

Okay, so I'm a little territorial but can you blame me?

So I know that Claire would chastise me slowly and painfully if she ever heard the words "my" and "Claire" in the same sentence but I can't help it.

So I'll just keep that little snippet of view to myself.

Cody, Cody Daniels. Ugh, I mean what sort of name is that?

Seriously, it sounds like something I'd name my dog.

Hey…that gives me an idea…

No, no, I won't, Claire would hate me, and I can't live without her.

Call me soppy if you want. Whatever.

I put my head in my hands, rubbing my eyes vigorously as I now pictured Claire and Cody together, that slime ball's arm wrapped around her waist.

A low growl rumbled in my chest as the day-dream Claire leaned up and pecked him on the cheek (something she'd never be able to do with me without great difficulty due to the height issue) and he turned to smile down at her before clasping her chin and pulling her up, his lips grazing hers.

My eyes snapped open.

I hadn't realized that throughout my little awake-nightmare that I had gripped my sheets so tightly that as I shook, they ripped.

I had to talk to Claire about this, I had to apologize, get back in her good books, stir her away from this Cody guy…

And I had to do it now!

I was throwing on a pair of jeans and bolting out my door before I could think about anything further.

I just hoped she was still awake.

- Claire's POV-

I scrunched up my nose in annoyance as I stared at my reflection in my full-length mirror.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm far from being vain and the mirror was my mother's addition to my otherwise mirror-free zone but this is an occasion where anything reflective is a necessity.

This is Friday, one day before my big date with Cody and I'm getting major cold feet. And I mean they're like frickin' icicles!

It just got worse as I stared longer at myself.

I always say that its pointless dwelling over flaws and I never gave a crap about how I look before but now I found my exception: going out in public, with an extremely good-looking guy.

I mindlessly raked over my body, my eyes: boring blue and too close together, nose: too small and has too many freckles, hair: too thin with split ends and that's just from the neck up.

Don't even get me started on my wide hips, my chubby thighs, spare tire and too big, ill-proportioned boobs.

I groaned and ran my hands over my face as I grew impatient with myself. It annoyed me to no end that all this shit was actually starting to get to me now, but hey who am I kidding?

What would Quil ever see in a girl like me?

Uh, I mean, what would Cody ever see in a girl like me?

I removed my hands from my face and continued my inspection, turning around in circles and glancing back at my simple outfit, always analysing.

And frowning deeply.

"You're beautiful."

I whirled around, alarmed, and nearly knocked over my lamp.

"Whoa, easy, it's just me," Quil murmured softly, perched on my windowsill, half in and half out the window.

"QUIL! Why do you always do that? You scared me half to death!" I hissed, hand on my chest, striding over to help him through the window.

Then I remembered.

I let my arms drop to my sides and veered off to sit on my bed, trying desperately to ignore his bare chest glistening heavenly in the moonlight.

I saw him frown. Good.

"What do you want Quil?" I demanded, arms folded, eyes adverted.

"I don't want you dating Cody."

Wow, he really does just cut to the chase doesn't he?

"Well, unfortunately, it's not up to you who I can and cannot date Quil," I replied stiffly, still looking at the floor.

Through my peripheral-vision I saw him tense before bringing the other half of his body into the room and sliding the window shut.

"You're too young," he mumbled, beginning to pace back and forth, stepping over a number of clothing, mumbling incoherently to himself.

"I'm too young to what? Date?" I asked, my temper already boiling.

That stopped Quil in his tracks and for a moment I thought he was going to turn to face me, but instead he just stood with his back to me, shook his head vigorously and muttered to himself "too young to know."

I frowned at that.

"Too young to know what Quil?" I asked my anger slowly changing to curiosity. He was completely ignoring me however as he continued to pace.

My anger slowly built back up.

"Look, its too bad that I'm interrupting your lunatic ramblings and race pacing and all but would you mind leaving? I've gotta get to sleep."

Okay so I didn't sound half as furious as I wanted, merely pissed off, but it did the trick. He stopped pacing and slowly turned.

Don't look at him, don't look at him, don't look at him!

My eyes met his. Damn.

"I'm sorry."

I let his words hang in silence for a moment, putting on my best poker-face.

"For what? Not letting me date calling me a spoiled, immature, selfish, little-girl?"

I almost smirked as I saw him wince with discomfort.

"Both."

We were engulfed in silence once more, our eyes refusing to look away from each other.

"Apology accepted," I mumbled, breaking the staring match, standing up and walking back over to my mirror. I could feel Quil's gaze following my every move. Undoubtfully he thought that that was way too easy.

"It doesn't sound like you forgive me," he replied softly, his voice still laced with worry.

I turned once again and picked at my clothes, sucking in my stomach, standing up straighter, my shoulder back, head up…

And I still felt and looked like crap.

I let out a groan of frustration and before I could draw a breath to make another, I felt a strong pair of hands on my shoulders, turning me around.

"I said you're beautiful Claire."

"Yeah just a spoiled, immature, selfish, little-girl though. Flattery will get you no where Ateara."

As soon as the words escaped my mouth, Quil's face morphed into that of a tortured man.

"I'm so sorry Claire, please believe me I didn't mean any of it. I was just angry that's all, people say things they don't mean when they're angry, you know that."

I had my head lowered, my eyes adverted from this as I felt him draw nearer to me.

"Claire…" he murmured, his eyes seeking mine, his hand reaching toward my face and cupping my chin with his thumb gently. "Look at me," he pleaded, nudging my chin upwards.

Sighing, I accepted defeat and pulled my head up as far as I could without hurting my neck and stared up into his chocolate-brown eyes.

And then it hit me. The sheer hopelessness of the situation.

I'll elaborate shall I?

The situation? Me being in love with Quil. The reason why its hopeless? Well lets give you a list…

Firstly, Quil is my best friend and has been since before I can remember. If we dated and then broke up, we'd never get our friendship back to normal, and there's no way I could live without Quil as my friend. Secondly, now I'm not sure by how much and Quil has avoided telling me all this time but one thing I am certain of is that he is quite a few years older then me. How do I know this? Well, he told me he started phasing when he was sixteen and in all my old pictures he still looks exactly the same, and some of those snaps are from back when I was two. Considering I was two fourteen years ago, that would suggest that he's fourteen years older then me, even if he looks as if its only five. For some reason people may look down on us for that, I won't give a shit but you heard the man yourself, he sees me as a little girl. Sigh. Lastly (and most importantly) Quil is a werewolf. A werewolf who can imprint on someone else in a heart beat and leave me emotionally damaged, and hey, personally, I don't want to be the next Leah, that would a nightmare.

So as my eyes met his, I made myself promise that I, Claire Marie Young, would do everything in my power to fall out of love with Quil Ateara. For the greater good and for my heart's (and dignity's) sake, I mean, hell its not like he'd ever love me back now is it?

Geez…

"I forgive you Quil, I do, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you but…I'm still going to date Cody," I replied, staring him right in the eyes unblinkingly.

There is no way this girl's backing down. Even if she's facing a near seven foot giant wolf-man.

I saw something flash in Quil's already dark orbs and for once I felt a little uneasy.

But, in a split-second it was gone and his pearly-white grin replaced it.

"Okay Claire-bear, whatever makes you happy."

Humph. He wasn't complaining now I see.

"And you're not going to be all crazily over-protective are you?" I enquired, in an accusing tone.

Quil threw me an innocent grin that silently said, "who me? Never!" and shook his head.

I folded my arms across my chest, standing to my full height of five-foot-one.

Impressive, eh?

"I don't believe you," I muttered, stepping away from him to sit on my bed.

Quil snorted. I mean he actually snorted like a barn yard pig.

"Claire, I was a little pissed that you didn't tell me you've started dating me but that doesn't mean I have to know every detail. I hate my own dating to worry about now, remember?"

Yeah, it's kinda hard to forget.

"Wow…you've changed your tune," I responded, a little quietly, as what he was saying began to sink in.

Quil wasn't going to be checking up on me as much. He wasn't going to be hanging out with me as much…

I couldn't even bare to think of a sarcastic yay. What the hell is wrong with me!? I should be happy…right?

"Yeah well, I figured you need your space, you know."

Yeah space, that's what every teenage girl dreams of right? Space? Big, long, lonely space. Perfect.

"Oh, okay, cool," wow, I'm just amazing with words aren't I?

Quil nodded, shifting his weight from foot to foot, looking uneasy. "So…how did it go with Erin at Sam's the other day?"

Now, I knew it was only a ploy to help us move away from the awkward topic that was dating, but I jumped at the chance. "Oh it was great! Embry wasn't too over the top and everyone loves her. I think she really enjoyed herself."

Now what I really wanted to ask was "how come you weren't there?" but instead I asked this:

"How's Embry doing at home?"

An aggravated expression crossed Quil's handsome face. "Oh God, he never shuts up! Erin this, Erin that, seriously, I can't wait for them to get together just so he'll leave me the hell alone."

I rolled my eyes, "yeah and I'm just gonna have a party when you imprint Ateara, you'll be more annoying than usual."

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Quil tensed visibly for a moment before responding joking (which was painfully transparent) "I'll never be more annoying to you Claire."

There was a slightly awkward silence after that and I noticed Quil casually glance at his watch.

"Oh, is that the time?" I better go, up early in the morning," he rambled, getting ready to climb out the window.

As the soft moonlight gleamed against his bare chest, I bit my lip.

I have to get over this, I have to get over him…

"Good night Quil," I murmured softly.

He nodded once and was gone.

My heart sank, how exactly am I going to make myself fall out of love with him?

- Quil's POV-

"S, how'd it go?"

"Well, first I told her how I felt, saying I didn't want her to date Cody. Then after she told me that it wasn't up to me who she dates, I apologized."

"And how did that work out?"

"Well, then of course, she did the whole guilt-trip thing about me calling her a-"

"-Spoiled, immature, selfish, little girl? Yeah she and Jake told me."

"Don't be so judgemental Nessie, its not like you and Jake never fight," I snapped, plonking down on my "monster-couch" (as Claire christened it) and rubbing my eyes.

"Alright, alright, so we do fight, I'll drop it," Nessie replied apologetically, "did you do everything I told you?"

I glared at the cell phone in my hand for a moment before replying through gritted teeth, "yeah I did do everything you told me. I apologized, I begged, I grovelled, and when she told me she was still going to date that dweeb, regardless to what I think, I took your advice and said, 'whatever makes you happy'."

"And did she believe you?" Nessie asked, even though she obviously knew the answer.

"No. She didn't. So, I did what you said, against my better judgement," I muttered, feeling sick when I thought about it.

"You told her you were just annoyed that she didn't tell you, not actually at the fact that she's dating?"

"Yep."

"You told her you've your own dating to worry about?"

I grimaced, "yeah…"

"You said she needed her space?"

I bit my lip, "yes."

"And you changed the subject, and left quickly?"

This, I felt most sick about, "yes, Nessie, I did everything you said."

Man, I feel dirty.

I could practically feel her smirking on the other end of the phone.

"Well, it's a good thing I called you before you jumped through her window and confessed your undying love to her or you'd really be screwed," she laughed softly.

I felt like screaming and kicking things.

"But with your way I still have to date some girl and Claire gets to kiss some jackass," I complained, trying not to sound whiny.

I heard Nessie sigh.

"Quil, we've been through this. Claire just needs to accept the fact that she's hopelessly in love with you no matter what she does and you will only ever be the right man for her. This, is a sure way of making that happen."

Somehow, I wasn't convinced

"So what? Do I just let her go on date after date after date until she realizes its hopeless? I don't want her to do through all them break-ups Ness, her self-esteem is fragile enough as it is," I replied with a frown as I remembered her standing in front of the mirror, judging her body.

Nessie mumbled in agreement, "yeah I know, no matter how much she denies it and no matter how much I tell her otherwise she still thinks she has a million flaws. But no Quil, you don't have to let her go on endless dates because you are going to tell her the whole truth soon."

Wow…why did that last bit sound like an order?

"I-I am?" I choked, feeling nauseas at the very thought.

I visualised the half-vampire rolling her eyes, "of course you're going to tell her! And soon!"

I chewed my bottom lip over and over, "how soon exactly? 'Cause you know, I wasn't thinking of telling her until she turns eighteen and that's a whole year away."

I could almost hear the distant sounds of chickens clucking.

Nessie, it seemed, was thinking along the same lines, "what is it exactly you're afraid of Quil? You've waited almost fifteen years to tell her, why keep putting it off?"

"She's too young."

"She's two years older then me! And I'm hardly childish am I?" she argued.

I considered that, I always tended to forget Reneesme's age as she been looking the same for nearly eight years now.

"That's not the same! You knew almost from day one about you and Jake in one way or another, but it was different for me and Claire. Her views and mine have changed regarding each other over the years but I can't rush her. If she's not ready to make that transition from best friend to…something more then I can't take that risk. And hey, who's to say she'll ever want to make that transition?"

Damn my own insecurities.

Nessie let out a huge sigh of annoyance.

"Now you're just being dramatic Quil! Of course she'll make the transition, why wouldn't she? You're perfect for her in every way as is she for you. You just have to convince her of that Quil, you know, before she convinces herself that some…oh, how did you word it? Oh yeah, some 'jackass with a boner that'll promise her the world just to get her in bed' is the man of her dreams."

I smirked softly.

"So you're with the boss on this one are you?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

She laughed heartily, "you know Jake doesn't like being called that Quil! And yes, I agree, make Claire as jealous as hell!"

I shook my head. The girl on the other end of the phone was Claire's best girl-friend in the whole world and yet, here she was, telling me to deliberately make her jealous by flaunting another woman in her face.

Girls are strange creatures. Especially half-human, half-vampire ones.

"You're evil you know that?" I laughed.

Nessie giggled, "sure, sure."

I rolled my eyes, "later Ness."

"Bye Quil. Oh and Alice says watch out for Courtney, she's a weird one."

I frowned, perfect.

"I thought Alice couldn't…wait…what does she mean by weird?" I asked worriedly.

"She said you'll have to wait and see."

The line went dead.

Oh shit, I did not like the sound of that. Not one bit.

But then again, I'm a super-strong, telepathic werewolf taking advice from a girl who can project mental images to others and happens to drink blood on a regular basis.

I mean how much more weird can this Courtney girl be compared to that anyway?

A/N: And there you go. Hope you liked it. Oh and yes, Quil is in for some surprise! Hehe -evil smirk- xx