Author's Note: Wow, thank you everyone... and also sorry to anyone I made cry! *hands out tissues and hugs* So, KellyRoxton got in first with a request for Abby at Gibbs' grave. And again, it's Gabby... sorry to the non-shippers! But I've done it both ways around now, so anything from here on out isn't going to be. Here we go!

Abby – Gibbs' grave

Gibbs/Abby

The cemetery tends to be deserted at night, and that's the way Abby wants it. The funeral was earlier today, but she hadn't wanted to say goodbye in front of everyone else. If she had, they'd most likely call her crazy and lock her up.

So she'd kept her silence as she ran her hand over the coffin, thinking that Gibbs would appreciate the workmanship that had been put into crafting it. She let the tears fall at Jackson Gibbs' speech; sobbed in Tony's arms as Vance had delivered the usual Director spiel about NCIS' loss. Played jazz on the way from the cemetery, and planned her real goodbye as she slowly walked at Ducky's side.

Now, she wanders amongst the headstones without fear – being alone in the darkness has never scared her. Even if it used to, she's too out of it to care right now.

She reaches Gibbs' grave and sets down a cup of strong, black coffee by his headstone, then pats the turf over his grave. "Hey, Gibbs. Brought you some coffee."

Her only reply is a slight breeze that stirs the humid night air. But who knows? Maybe Gibbs can see and hear her right now… He always did have a spooky sixth sense for when she needed to speak to him.

Stretching out on her stomach over the grave, she folds her arms at head level and rests her cheek on them, sighing. "Guess this is as close as we get to a hug now, huh?" she murmurs, blinking away tears. The memory of how his arms used to feel around her is vivid, and for a few moments she can only steel herself against the pain of her loss.

It's a while before she trusts herself to speak. "Sorry I was so quiet at the funeral. I didn't wanna do this in front of everyone else. They're coping as well as they can and trying to look out for me, too… it's not fair on them."

The moon glides out from behind a cloud, bathing the cemetery in brilliant moonlight. Abby brushes away a stray tear and sighs. "Gonna miss you, Gibbs… Who's gonna interrupt me mid-sentence now? I mean, Tony tries… he always tries to be you, when you're not around, but he…"

She chokes back the urge to sob and lays her cheek on the ground, wanting to be as close to Gibbs as possible. "He's not you. He could never… never quite get the stare down, y'know? O-or the smile. He always looks at me when he smiles, but you… you always looked away. Which, you know, is probably a good thing, since if you didn't you'd totally have caught me drooling more than once."

She's quiet for a few seconds, trying to collect her pained thoughts and memories and numb them into something she can bear to express. Finally, she murmurs, "Yeah… I think I kinda love you, Gibbs. Like, crazy, out-of-control, can't-stop-thinking-about-you love. But I didn't… I couldn't tell you. Didn't know what you'd say. Sometimes I thought you might already know, and a few times I even thought you might feel the same, but I…"

Sighing, she sits up and fixes the gravestone with a direct look. "I was too scared to tell you. Cause I liked seeing your smile, and I liked our birthday dinners and I liked that you used to hug me and kiss my cheek and bring me Caf-Pow! and let me stay at your place when I was scared and…"

Running out of breath, she pauses, a bitter laugh escaping her as another thought occurs. "See, right there? That's where you woulda stopped me. Guess I'm gonna need to learn to do that for myself now, huh?"

Her only reply is the distant rumble of a truck passing on the street. Abby has never felt so alone. Wrapping her arms around herself for comfort, she swallows back the lump in her throat for the hundredth time today. "I didn't wanna lose the friendship that we had, and I always thought I'd tell you someday. When I was… I dunno. Stronger? Or braver, or…? Something."

Her voice fades to a whisper in the darkness, as the clouds cover the moon once more. "But I guess what I really came here to do is apologise. For not getting that result faster. If I had, you coulda been better prepared when you went on the arrest, and you'd have known that…"

The wall she's tried to build around her emotions crumbles and disintegrates, and she curls into a ball on the grass, her sobs carrying through the deserted cemetery. Her entire body shakes with the force of her sorrow, and her tears fall into the grass, soaked up by the earth that separates her from Gibbs' coffin. She loses all sense of who she is and where she is, giving herself over to the full force of her grief.

When she finally calms enough to sit up again, the pained clamour of her thoughts has ceased. She feels surer of herself than she has in days, as if she's just been on the receiving end of one of Gibbs' silent pep-talks. Maybe she has. All of a sudden, she knows that he doesn't blame her for his death, and it feels as though a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. How does he do that, even now? "You always did know what to say," she mutters, trying a forlorn smile as she wipes her eyes.

"Guess you're pretty worried about me, huh? But I'll be okay. I promise. I just… need a little time to freak out, first. Remember when you went to Mexico for a few months? Kinda like that."

Taking a deep breath, she gets to her feet. "I'm gonna head home now. I mean, I'd stay a little longer, but Tony's asleep on my couch and he doesn't know I snuck out. I wanna be back before he wakes up. But I'll come see you again soon, okay?"

For a long moment, she gazes at the headstone, gathering up the strength to walk away. She makes it one step before a thought occurs to her, and she spins around again, biting her lip. "Just… don't head-slap any angels while I'm gone, cause I'm pretty sure that'll piss off the Big Guy."

She can practically see Gibbs' answering grin in her mind, and it's enough to drag a genuine smile from somewhere deep within her. "Enjoy the coffee," she tells him softly, and heads back to her car, leaving the cup of Gibbs' favourite beverage nestled amongst the flowers.