Disclaimer: *blows raspberry* You guys know I don't own it, and I'm just playing around with the idea of what would happen if Jareth got called up in a bathroom just because I feel like it.
WARNING: LANGUAGE
The Incentive
Chapter 8
By Fou Fou
The Castle Beyond The Goblin City, renowned for its filth of goblins and chickens running around, was, for the first time in years, almost sparkling clean. The 'almost' would be the throne room, which, by some perverse pleasure of the Universe, was impossible to keep clean for more then two minutes. As for as soon as even one goblin entered, the entire room became a vertex of chaos and disaster.
It was here, in the midst of chaos and insanity, that a certain Goblin King was issuing orders to make sure that everything was perfect (with the exception the of the throne room) for the arrival of the 'alleged-lifebondee.' He didn't care if Mara saw its normal filth, she was used to it, and even helped add to it on occasion (especially the few times she was drunk). But if Mara's harebrained scheme was to work, he would have to do everything within his power to keep Sarah from attempting (or, to be precise, succeeding in) murdering his Royal Majesty, and getting on her good side. This, by the premonitions of being a powerful King of the Goblins, Jareth felt would be quite the challenge.
And so, with four hours left on the clock until "Game Over," Jareth was beginning to feel nervous.
Not that he didn't have any faith in Mara, he had plenty of it. Years of prior experience taught him that Mara had an amazing ability for pulling things off at the last minute. But the fact that the thirteen-hour time limit was quickly coming to a close and he hadn't detected even an inkling of a call was still making him nervous. He hadn't felt this nervous since he looked out the window of the Castle Beyond The Goblin City to see that Sarah and her troop of outcast friends were almost upon him, and were fighting off the goblins with an army of rocks.
Add to the fact that every time he looked through one of his crystal balls to attempt to watch Mara's progress (and the view was getting dimmer and dimmer because of the resurrecting of the barrier causing static), she was goofing off, not trying to get Sarah to come to the Labyrinth. Jareth was beginning to suspect that she was taking a perverse pleasure in making him sweat, and was purposely taking her time.
Damn fool of an elf, he grumbled, throwing a crystal ball across the throne room that hit an unfortunate goblin in the back of his head. Doesn't she realize the dangers getting stuck in the human world?
She probably does. And since she is full of magic, she probably doesn't care. Being fully charged on magic seemed to do the strangest things to Mara, causing her to become more pig-headed and mischievous then usual. Which, unfortunately enough, caused havoc for everyone else.
All that Jareth knew, was if Mara screwed this up, he was going to personally enjoy tormenting her for the next millennium of marriage 'bliss.'
"FINE! I WISH THE GOBLINS WOULD COME AND TAKE ME AWAY RIGHT NOW!!!" cried a voice that echoed from all corners of the Labyrinth, almost deafening him. And the owner of that particular voice was the voice that Jareth had been waiting the past 9 hours to hear. Smirking with the sense of upcoming victory, he conjured a crystal and transported himself to the location of the wish.
And promptly found himself in a very strange room.
It was painted in the most unattractive color pink; causing Jareth to decide that the imbecile who created it deserved the life-long torment of being dumped head first into the Bog of Eternal Stench.
Along one wall was three sinks as well as a strange protruding object from a wall, that when he pressed the silver button, began shooting hot air from a hole. Shaking his head about the strange objects those mortals must make for their lack of magic (since he assumed that the object was used to dry one's hands after washing them, as they did not have the advantage of magic drying them instead), he turned and found another strange object jutting out of the wall. Above a slot, there was a label that said "Feminine Napkins." Why ever would woman have napkins that are special for them? A handkerchief or dinner napkin is the same for everyone. I see no point in having each sex have a different type of napkin. Are these mortals ever odd. I do believe that their lack of magic does the strangest things to their minds.
Beside the slot, another sign said, "Insert 2 Quarters." Knowing that quarter was a coin form of money in the Aboveground, he quickly conjured up two with a wave of his hand. After spending a moment figuring out how to use the device, he was able to successfully insert the quarters and turn the handle, causing a small, tube-like package to pop out from a hole near the bottom of the 'Feminine Napkin Dispenser." Curious, Jareth picked it up and unwrapped it. Not know what to make of the small object, he began to fiddle around with it until, by accident, he pushed it, causing a cottony substance to come out of one end. However to females use this as a napkin is beyond me. I really must make a point of asking Mara how this 'napkin' is used in this odd society.
He was vaguely aware of a door opening then closing, (he didn't bother looking up, as he was too busy being absorbed by the Mysterious Napkin) when he heard the 'I'm-trying-not-to-laugh-at-you' cough beside him.
"Well, Jareth, that certainly explains a lot about your pants," said Mara as she looked at him with a mix of amusement and slight disgust.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As soon as Sarah had angrily proclaimed her wish, Mara felt the disturbance in the air of the Goblin King transporting into the room. She could hear him walking around and heard the sound of the hand dryer as he began figuring out the uses of the objects in the room. I forgot about his cat-like fascination in new objects. I should probably get out there before he does something incredibly embarrassing that I might not want to miss. Quickly as she could, she got out of the stall and went over to him, to see him examining the one object she never thought he would ever be so interested in. Her corrupted mind instantly coming up with at least a dozen images, each more disturbing, yet entertaining then the one before, she said, "Well, Jareth, that certainly explains a lot about your pants."
"I beg your pardon?" he questioned quietly, looking as affronted as a cat that just fell down.
Mara fought the urge to smirk, and failed miserably, as she went to wash her hands. "You do realize what the object you are so interested in is used for?"
"Of course I do, Princess. It is a feminine napkin," Jareth said slowly, as if talking to a child about something obvious.
Mara shook her head sadly. "You know that and you're still playing around with it? Your more strange then I thought."
"It's just a napkin, Mara. An oddly shaped one, but a napkin nonetheless." Jareth paused, eyeing Mara suspiciously as she tried not to laugh. "What are you up to now, Princess?"
"Do you know what it is used for, Jareth?"
"As a napkin. What else?"
"You don't know, do you."
Uncomfortable silence.
"I cannot believe, Jareth, that you have bedded at least half the female population of the Underground Court in the over 1000 years that you have graced the Earth with your presence, not to mention go through my stuff in my bathroom, to not know what a tampon is, nor, what it is used for."
Jareth's normally cool, collected mask turned into one of confusion, before instantly scrunching up into a look of horror.
"Mara, who are you talking to? Because, if you're talking to me, I can't hear you," came Sarah's voice, disturbing the silence.
Immediately, Jareth began to try and figure out if his assessment was true. "You mean this is . . ."
"Yes."
"And women use it during . . ."
"Yes."
"And so they . . . how do they use it?"
Mara just raised an eyebrow and looked at him.
"Never mind, I don't want to know," he said hurriedly. "Here, take it," and promptly shoved the offending object at Mara.
"I don't want it."
"Well, you're female. . . you can use it."
"Not after you've had your grubby fingers all over it! And I especially don't want it after you have opened it!"
"My fingers are not grubby, Princess. And watch your tone, or I'll dump you head first into the Bog of Eternal Stench for the next . . ." Jareth's threat was left unfinished as Sarah stepped out of the stall and looked at the fearful scene in front of her. Jareth had grabbed Mara's arm and was shoving her against the wall of the bathroom, clearly looking like he was threatening her (which of course, he was, but since Mara and Jareth had been friends for years, they wouldn't really do that, but of course Sarah didn't know that).
"It was true," Sarah murmured, shocked, and no little afraid. "You're him, aren't you? You're the Goblin King."
Immediately the mask of the Goblin King came down as Jareth turned towards Sarah and smiled menacingly. "Surprise." Stepping away from Mara (but not before shoving the 'napkin' into her hand) he said, "I'm touched that you wanted to come back for a . . . visit."
"Look, I don't want go."
"What's said is said."
"I didn't mean it."
"Oh you didn't?" was his reply, his lips turning upward in a sardonic smirk.
Sarah bit her lip as the whole scene from her childhood came rising up unbidden from her thoughts. The fearful showdown in her father and step-mother's bedroom as she tried to beg to get her brother back. A snap brought her back to the real world. Looking up, she saw Mara covering her mouth in what looked like fear as a disgruntled Goblin King turned to face her.
"And you, you insolent, little," he began, turning his face towards the red head and raised his hand to call up a crystal.
"Please, don't!" cried Sarah. "Look, you can take me, but just, don't take her. She didn't know it was real!"
Jareth paused and looked slightly confused (and a little uncomfortable too, but Sarah could not for the life of her fathom why . . . having missed the whole Mara sneaking up behind him and shoving the tampon down his pants incident a few moments before). "Why would I bring Mara and not you? She's an annoying little . . . She didn't call on me. . . ." He looked at Mara. "Did you?"
"Oops, sorry Jareth. . . forgot to tell you," said Mara, giving him a weak grin.
Sarah's eyes flicked suspiciously from Mara to Jareth, and back again. "Wait, you two know each other? Did you wish someone away too, Mara?"
Mara bit her lip nervously. "Um, Sarah? Remember my old childhood friend that came to the Halloween Dance?"
"Jared?" asked Sarah, glancing up at Jareth's mismatched eyes; the pieces of a puzzle beginning to fit into place.
"Yeah, well, his real name is Jareth, and he is the King of the Goblins."
"You mean you knew? That my so called dream was real?"
"Yeah," replied Mara weakly, looking guilty. "I would because I was there."
"So who are you?" spat Sarah. "Another fae who likes to fuck around with mortal's lives?"
Mara winced at the last comment while replying, "Actually, I'm an Elvin Princess. But, yeah . . . I suppose I have to claim guilty for the second accusation." Explains the pointy ears.
"Which I'm sure gives you even a better excuse to be messing up people's lives? Does your whole family do this, or is that why they don't like you? Because you're a conniving little . . ."
"Don't. You. Dare. Bring. My. Family. Into. This." demanded Mara.
"And why not? You obviously have no qualms about bringing my family into it. It that how Toby knows you? Is that why he seemed to recognize you when we got home? Because you were there making plans for turning him into a Goblin?"
"Yes, I happened to help baby-sit for him. His Majesty didn't trust the goblins with him. That was it. Oh . . . and I made your dress. But that was about it. I had just gotten some bad news from home, so I really wasn't up for 'fucking with other people's lives.' Not to mention the lives of mortals that asked to have their lives messed around with.'"
Sarah paused for a moment, to collect herself, before saying slowly, "Garith knows what you are, doesn't he? That's why he is always calling you Elf and hanging around. He was there to stop you from doing what you were going to do; to take me back to the Underground because Mr. Goblin King is mad that I beat him. He wanted to make sure you were stopped because he is a good person. No wonder you didn't like him!"
Mara snorted. "You call the Spawn of Satan good? I quite assure you, Sarah Williams, that Garith's intentions are less than noble."
"You lie!"
"Sarah, have you ever heard of vampires?" asked Jareth in a bored tone as he stuffed something into the trash.
"Of course. Who hasn't heard of them."
"You know all those nasty stories about them? The really nasty ones? The ones that kept villages in a constant state of fear?" he asked, leaning over until his face was just inches away from Sarah's.
Sarah nodded slightly, as she felt a lump begin to grow in her throat.
"Well your 'Noble Friend' Garith is the reason those tales have been manifested. He's done more terrifying and heartless things then I've ever done. I assure you, Sarah, Garith's intentions are not as great as you'd like to make it out. He couldn't care less what happened. He's just here because he thinks it is all a game."
"To kidnap me?"
"I assure you, Sarah, there is more at stake then that. The whole world doesn't revolve around you, child. Don't be so self-centered."
"Yeah, because that's my job," said Mara. Then added softly, "I'm sorry, Sarah."
"SORRY!?" cried Sarah. "You two are taking me away from my life, my family, my potential career, and all you can say is that you're sorry!?!?"
"We'll have time for your dramatics' later, Sarah. Time to go," said Jareth, waving his hand as a crystal appeared and grabbed Sarah's arm with the other.
Mara stepped up beside them and placed a hand on Jareth's arm. Just as Sarah's world began to waver and disappear, she felt Mara grip onto her other hand. She felt Mara lean close to her and say softly, "Ya just had to give me a bloody conscience, didn't you?" and swiftly, her very essence began to burn with overwhelming pain as if she was being torn in two before she fell into the safe oblivion of nothing.
On the floor of the bathroom, a weary-looking Mara stood holding the unconscious form of a Miss Sarah Williams before collapsing onto the floor with exhaustion. All that could be heard was a faint whisper:
"Thank the Gods that I noticed the barrier. I only hope I noticed in time."
Author's Note: SARAH KNOWS ABOUT MARA!!! What did Mara do? What will happen to Sarah and Mara's friendship. All this and more in the next episode of The Incentive.
Sorry . . . that was lame. I couldn't help myself. I know this was a shorter chapter then I normally write (and maybe even slightly different style) but I felt it was better to end there, full of cliff-hanger goodness. (Since when I have a cliff hanger, it gives me an incentive to write . . . ha Incentive. . . sorry . . bad joke).
Also: I've been getting a few requests, but does anyone else feel that the rating should go up to R? (Especially after some of the words used . . . I mean, I feel that it is PG-13 level, but you guys out there might not. . . let me know)
A Thank you to Theresa for the idea of the 'feminine napkin' episode . . . and I'm hoping I was able to keep our Goblin King in character enough . . since it was kinda hard. If he was out of character . . . just blame Mara. That's what everyone else does. *an exhausted Mara hits Fou Fou over the head with a bat*
And thank you Shan for reading this over and giving me feedback. Thank you Meagan for beta . . as always. Love you. Thank you Becca as well.
READ AND REVIEW!!
Becca: SEE! I finished faster. . . it's been done for a while .. just haven't had a chance to update.
Xelena: Glad you like it. I guarente I strong friendship at the least between Eric and Mara
Suzuka Blade: *accepts Jareth e-plushie and places it on a e-shelf of honor* Thank you very much! Hope you enjoy this chapter
b00kperson: For chocolate . . . all kinds. Like those boxes of chocolate with the yummy stuff inside that people get people for Valentine's Day. I didn't get any. *sob* Thanks for the review.
Pervy Elf-Fancier: *blush . . . didn't expect to have you kissing my feet . . . I'm not good with a lot of attention* Hope you like this. I'll try to update sooner.
Tyria: Well . . Jareth came . . . and Sarah obviously is still in the bathroom . . but she in unconscious. . . not saying anymore than that
Jessie Deal: I'm glad you like the Garith reading Mara's thoughts thing and the memories of Mara. I was hoping that it would show some depth into their characters. This chapter was meant more for a little humor . . and to get Sarah and Jareth to meet again . . but I hope you liked it.
Shaine Raizel: Glad you like it.
hecate-goddess: Yeah . . it actually does make sense. . I love reviews . . make me feel special, so I feel you all deserve personal recognition for reviewing.
kalinda: Glad you liked last chapter. Hope you like this one.
kili-2: I feel so honored that you were willing to wait 5 minutes because of computer stubbornness to review. Makes me feel special.
Empyreal Melody: Well . . Sarah met Jareth . . I didn't want it to be as happy go-lucky of a meeting though . . since she still has hard feelings from the last journey to the Labyrinth. Still . . I promise there will be stuff between the two soon.
Trapped in Icy Flame: Yeah . . Sarah is VERY close to killing Mara . . . and Garith . . once he gets over his latest whore .. will probably be pissed . . once he finds out EXACTLY what it is that Mara has just done (which will be explained in next chapter)
One-Sexy-Slytherin: I'm glad you think that Garith has more sex appeal .. it is definitly fun writing him . .though he wasn't in this chapter. But never fear . . he shall be back to torment people. . . . Until then . . he will be considered the "Noble Hero" by Sarah risking his life to help save her from Jareth.
if-666: Considering the R rating .. . might put it up. Hope you liked the Jareth in the bathroom scene.
draegon-fire: I hope you liked this chapter. . . what with Jareth and the bathroom. And the barrier will come to cause more problems next chapter too.