"How was your day dear?" Elizabeth Masen asked as Edward entered his home, twenty minutes after dropping Bella off. Normally he was home sooner, especially at the speeds he tended to drive at, but today he had decided to take it slow, give himself time to think and compose himself as he drove towards home. He had already decided on a decent cover up story for his black eye, although he knew his mother would probably see right through it. He still wasn't going to tell her the truth.

"Fine," Edward answered, hoping to rush upstairs before she could see him, but she turned at that moment, letting out a small gasp of surprise. She ran over to him and Edward resisted rolling his eyes—mothers were so overprotective sometimes. Elizabeth's hands fluttered around her son's face helplessly, trying to figure out something to do. His eye was blackened and swollen.

"What happened to you?" she gasped, placing a hand on Edward's cheek. He brushed it off.

"Nothing. I just tripped and I hit my eye on the mirror of the car," Edward lied quickly and easily. He knew it wasn't a very clever story—that would be more like something Bella would do than him—but he hoped his mother would buy it. He didn't want to tell her the awful, embarrassing truth.

"Oh, dear," Elizabeth gasped. She tenderly placed her fingers on his eye, trying to judge the extent of the damage. It didn't look too bad to her, but she still hurried to the refrigerator to get him an ice pack. Edward groaned when he saw it, feeling a blush appear on his cheeks.

"I don't need ice Mom," he sighed impatiently. "The swelling will go down soon and the bruise will be gone by the end of the week." It was true. He had experienced many injuries, along with watching Bella recover from her self-inflicted wounds, and knew that bruises healed best when left alone.

"It would help with the swelling. You'll be able to see better," Elizabeth said anxiously, trying to persuade her son into taking the ice. Edward took it out of pity, kissing her cheek with a word of thanks and hurried upstairs, promptly dropping the ice pack into the sink in his bathroom to melt. Edward walked into his closet and pulled out the new bag his mother had bought him for back to school—it was Under Armour and black, durable looking at least, although Edward didn't normally choose name brands. He transferred the small mess of notebooks and papers from his ruined old backpack into the new one and zipped it up. At least James wouldn't be able to rip this one.

Edward placed the new pack by the foot of his bed and tried to find something to do, something to occupy his time with to keep thoughts he didn't want to think about out of his head. He turned his radio on, fiddling through different stations—all commercials—before finally deciding to put on one of his favorite calming CDs. It was a mix CD Bella had made him, filled with all sorts of relaxing piano pieces and calming violins. Edward spread himself onto his bed, sighing, closing his eyes and trying only to focus on the music, the complicated melodies and harmonies, thinking of the notes in his mind as the songs continued to play.

But he wasn't able to stay distracted for long. Eventually, his thoughts returned to his horrible first day of school. James, Jasper, Tanya, and Bella all flashed through his mind at top speed, like he was watching a tape on fast forward. He could remember James' sneering face, Tanya's utter perfection, Jasper's apologetic looks and new style and Bella's kind words and smile. Edward wanted badly to hit something—nothing in his life was going right. Nothing the way it was supposed to go.

Jasper was supposed to be his best friend—guy friend at least. They would finish their hellish high school years and go off to some advanced college to become successful and rich, and rub it in their old classmates' faces at the ten year reunion. They would be the best men at each others' weddings. Their wives would be friends and they'd get together for dinner at least once a week. Their children would grow up and get married, being sure to carry out the Masen-Whitlock friendship for eternity. It was their plan. They had laughed about it and dreamt about it since kindergarten.

And now it was ruined. He knew Jasper had feelings for the pixie girl he had changed himself for, but he had never known the extent of those feelings. He had never thought Jasper cared about Alice in the way Edward cared about Tanya. Why didn't Jasper tell him? Did he think Edward wouldn't understand? Plus, how had Bella known so much about it?

Edward sighed. All of this thinking wasn't doing him any good. He should just forget about Jasper. After all, he still had Bella—the maid of honor at his wedding and their children could get married. He should be happy. Bella was a wonderful person—selfless, trusting, warm, caring. But Edward couldn't feel fully happy, knowing what eluded him and what had found Jasper. Like something was missing from his essential make-up, like there was a glitch in his system when he was born.

Edward didn't like to think about it. He knew it would only make him angry, or sad, or maybe both. He rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. He didn't move from that spot until he heard his cell phone ringtone blaring from his backpack. He groaned—he wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone. But it might be Bella, and it might be important, so Edward grudgingly pulled himself off of his bed and grabbed his cell phone, answering it without glancing at the caller ID.

Never a good idea.

"Hello?" Edward answered, sounding grumpy. He knew he did, but he couldn't help it—his mood tended to affect his tone even when he tried to keep himself composed.

"Hey," a deep voice answered on the other side, a voice filled with guilt and apologies.

Edward promptly hung up the phone.

After a moment of thinking, he realized that was not the smart, nor the polite thing to do. He was angry and he knew that. But he shouldn't have hung up on Jasper. It wasn't really anger at Jasper that had prompted him to hang up his cell phone. It was the joy—the small, barely noticeable tone of complete happiness that Edward heard louder than the rest of his voice. Because Edward knew that Jasper had found happiness and contentment where he was—something he had never fully had before. And Edward was envious of that.

After quite a few minutes of deliberation, deciding he could at least listen to what Jasper had to say. After all, they had been best friends since childhood. He called Jasper's cell phone back. Jasper answered on the second ring.

"Listen, I know you're mad," Jasper began quickly, rushing his words. Edward could tell Jasper was afraid he would hang up again, and wanted to get his words out quickly before Edward could hang up on him again. "But you have to understand. While I was away this summer, at a whole different place than I was used to, there was this girl. Her name was Maria. We weren't really very close, but she had sort of a crush on me, or so I thought. I guess she just wanted to give me makeover." There was a hint of anger and resentment at this Maria character. Edward didn't like the sound of her—it sounded like she was just trying to turn Jasper into what she wanted.

"So I let her. It started out gradually, she just suggested a shampoo I might like and I used it and it helped a lot. And then she'd be a bit more forceful, leaving acne cream and shit on my bed during dinner. She even ordered a prescription for contacts for me and started buying me clothes. That's where I drew the line. It was starting to get creepy, like she was trying to turn me into a clone or something. But she never knew how much she truly helped." Edward listened to Jasper's story with fascination. It sounded like Maria was a twisted version of his fairy godmother. Edward nearly snorted at the thought.

"At first, when I got home, I was just going to toss all of the crap out. But I got to thinking…if Maria liked this stuff…and I was getting more attention when I wore it…then would Alice like it? Would it be enough for the kids in my hometown so that I could be with the woman of my dreams? I had to try. I would try anything for her." Jasper's tone had turned wistful, loving, caring, adoring. It was almost sickening to listen to. "And the first thing she did when I pulled up was come over and give me a big hug, like we had been best friends for years. And then she kissed my cheek and told me she missed me. And then…well, then I couldn't leave her side. Not even if I tried."

Edward sighed. He didn't know what to say to his best friend—probably the only time they had never had something to talk about. On one hand, he could understand exactly why Jasper did the things he did, and on the other, he hated and envied him for it. Jasper's breathing seemed to still as he waited for Edward to answer him. The pause grew longer as tension grew thick. Edward wanted to say something, but he didn't know what.

"I suppose I understand," Edward said finally, his voice coming out in a whoosh of breath. He was surprised—he hadn't realized he had been holding his breath for so long. "I just wish there was another way…some way we could both be happy."

"I know exactly what you mean," Jasper sighed. "But I can't have it both ways. I can try. But…Alice is…she's my everything." He spoke as if she was his goddess, someone to worship and love. "I wouldn't give her up."

"I just…I have to go," Edward said abruptly, slamming his phone shut. He laid back on his bed and closed his eyes, feeling a migraine coming on. He groaned and placed a pillow over his eyes, trying to block out all sound and light. Edward tried very hard not to think as he slowly sank into unconsciousness.

Across town, Bella Swan was just finishing up dinner for her father. She poured the noodles she was cooking into a strainer, draining it of all the boiling water. Then she poured it into a separate bowl, adding the sauce. Charlie Swan came into the house as Bella finished setting the table. She heard him come in and scooped a generous amount of pasta into his bowl before giving herself a smaller portion.

"That you Bells?" Charlie called as he kicked off his shoes and hung up his gun belt.

"Yeah Dad," Bella called back, rolling her eyes as she always did when her father asked that question. Would a burglar be making himself a snack before making off with their electronics and jewelry? "Perfect timing. I just finished dinner."

"Smells great," Charlie complimented her, sitting down in the chair across from her. Bella and her father ate in near silence. Without anything to distract her, Bella began to feel the sadness and hopelessness she had managed to avoid with pointless chores and homework since Edward had dropped her off. Bella knew that Edward could be popular—if he got contacts, maybe a haircut or something. Bella already saw Edward as beautiful. She knew that with the proper products, like what Jasper had done, he could easily be just as beautiful to everyone else. That worried her. Would they only like him for his looks? Or, even worse, would they still not accept him? Did the students at Forks High really hold a grudge on Edward that strong?

"You look distracted," Charlie noted as he helped himself to seconds. Bella shrugged, taking a bite of her food. She had only been picking at it before, too much on her mind. "How was school?"

"Same as usual," Bella sighed.

"How's Edward? Jasper?"

"Fine," Bella answered, deciding vague truths were best at this point. The less Charlie knew the better.

"That's nice," Charlie said before taking another large bite of spaghetti. Bella pushed hers away, not really hungry anymore. She stood and cleaned off her bowl and the bowls she had used to cook before putting them away in the cabinets. By the time she had finished this, Charlie had ambled into the living room to watch television, so she could clean off his bowl and glass as well.

Bella went straight upstairs after dinner, starting some of the homework she was assigned. She debated about calling Edward for a while, before finally deciding against it. He probably needed some alone time anyways. She even thought about calling Jasper, but eventually decided against that as well—he would probably be with Alice or someone. She didn't want to bother him.

Bella sighed, lying back on her bed and staring absentmindedly at the ceiling. She didn't usually feel so lonely. Sure, sometimes she did when she saw two best girl friends walking down the hallway, and wished she had a close girlfriend—besides Angela obviously. Angela was nice, of course, but she had as little experience as Bella in the boy area. The only boy she had ever liked was Ben, and she got him easily. She wouldn't know how to help Bella make Edward fall in love with her. She just wanted someone she could talk to about her love for Edward, someone who could help her out, give her advice, anything.

Bella sighed and decided to push the issue to the side of her mind, at least for the rest of the night. She felt exhausted, even though it was still early. She just wanted to go to sleep and get this horrid first day behind her. Bella kicked off her jeans and curled up under her blankets, pressing a pillow over her head to block out the sound, but she still wasn't able to fall asleep. She sighed and sat up, grabbing her cell phone off of the side table next to her and speed-dialing Edward's number. It rang and rang, but he didn't answer. Bella hung up without leaving a message, wondering who to call next. She finally decided on Jasper.

"Hello?" he answered after a few rings.

"Hey," Bella said, and she could hear the sadness in her voice, the loneliness. She was sure Jasper picked up on it as well.

"What's up?" he asked in his familiar sympathetic tone.

"Nothing, I guess. I just...I don't know. Did you talk to Edward?" Bella asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Yeah. We're going to try and stay friends, but I can tell he resents me," Jasper sighed, and he sounded sad about the fact.

"He doesn't resent you Jasper," Bella said instantly. "He's just jealous."

"I just wish there was something I could do. To make him popular, you know?" His voice was hopeful, like he was thinking Bella might be able to pull a solution out of thin air.

"Sometimes I hope the same thing...but other times..." she trailed off, knowing Jasper would understand.

"You wish he would stay right where he was and realize he loves you back?" Jasper finished.

"Exactly."

"Just tell him Bella. Just tell him you care about him and love him. Lay your chips on the table and see what he says." Bella sighed. Of course Jasper would say that. That's what he had done with Alice, and it had worked for him. But Bella knew that Edward was too hung up on Tanya, and that he barely noticed her. She shut her eyes and stared across the room at the blank wall.

"I can't do that Jasper," Bella answered finally. "I just can't...be so vulnerable. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to yourself. You're the only one you're hurting," Jasper said and Bella shook her head.

"I'd better go. I'll talk to you tomorrow." They said their goodbyes and Bella hung up, turning her phone off. She couldn't deal with anyone just yet. She closed her eyes and let a restless sleep overcome her.

A/N: Mostly a filler. More will happen tomorrow in scuola (that's the Italian version so if it's spelt wrong in Spanish then I don't care because it's not supposed to be Spanish) so REVIEW!! Thanks a million to my wonderful beta .miserable . fate. She's awesome :)