Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
"Hey," Bella said as she slid into Edward's car a week after school had started. Bella wondered how long this routine would last. Edward had picked her up every day of the previous week and there he was, bright and early outside of her house on a particularly dreary looking Monday morning. Bella had been prepared to drive herself—thinking maybe Edward's chauffeuring services only lasted the first week—but she was pleasantly surprised to see Edward waiting for her as usual.
"Hey," Edward answered. Bella smiled when she noticed the bruise from James had completely faded, and all that was left were tired bags from lack of sleep under his eyes. She knew he had probably been up stressing about Tanya and Jasper, even if he didn't tell her. She could see the bags get progressively worse as the week passed, and it seemed like the weekend had really taken a toll on him.
"How are you?" Bella asked carefully. Edward shrugged, not meeting her eyes.
Truthfully, Edward wasn't well. School seemed to be getting worse for him, and he had to literally force himself to go. He could feel himself getting worse, sadder and angrier, but he had could think of nothing else to do but endure it. He watched every day as Jasper's life got progressively better and his stayed exactly the same. Of course he had Bella, and he had Angela and Ben, and he tried to remind himself of that fact. He had a loving family, he had friends. Just because he didn't have the woman he loved…
Edward sighed. He hated thinking about this, but it seemed like all he could think about. Tanya, Jasper, Alice, everyone. All of them. Mostly Tanya. Edward couldn't even remember the day his infatuation began, or the day his infatuation turned to more, to love. He didn't care. He could feel it in his heart when he looked at her. Love. Strong and true, he was sure of it. Edward had never been in love, not before Tanya. Of course he loved his mother and his father, and he loved Bella, but those were different. Family and friends. Not love, not true, romantic love, the way he had love for Tanya. It was different, he was sure.
Bella watched Edward as he drove, and he was too distracted to even notice. Normally, he would've teased her about it, or at least been annoyed at it. "See something you like?" he had once said. Bella had laughed, while thinking 'heck yes' in her mind. But Edward was so out of it today. Worse than usual. Bella knew the spare time of the weekend, all of that time to think, must have gotten to him. He looked…unhappy. Bella just wanted to hug him and make it all better. Like they used to do as children. Kiss the boo-boo, make it better. As simple as that. As if the touch of another's lips on your cut would make it heal, magically. Maybe it did. Maybe, just knowing someone cared enough to kiss you all better, really made the hurt go away.
"Edward, are you sure you're alright?" Bella asked tentatively. She didn't want to push his buttons, but she truly cared about how her friend was feeling. She didn't want him to be sad. Not ever.
"I'm just tired," Edward assured her, and Bella sighed, knowing he was lying. She just let it go for now, knowing better than to push him any further, not just yet. He would open up to her soon, she was sure of it. They didn't keep anything from each other. Aside from her secret love for him. But that didn't count.
They arrived at school a few minutes before the bell was due to ring, so Bella made her way to her locker. She was surprised to see someone already standing there, leaning against it. At first she was suspicious. Why would this person, of all the people in the school, be standing at her locker? Maybe it was just a mistake, and she didn't mean to be there. Bella decided to just act like she knew the girl wasn't really there to see her. Of course she wasn't.
"Excuse me," Bella said politely, trying to get to her locker. The petite brunette stood still and bit her lip.
"You used to be really close to Japer, right?" Alice asked. Bella blinked in surprise. Although Alice seemed like a nice person, Bella and her had never made much progress at becoming friends. They simply came from different worlds.
"Um…yeah," Bella answered awkwardly. Alice looked insecure, which was something Bella was so…shocked at. Alice normally looked so well put together and confident—nothing could affect her and she knew it. But right now, she looked like an actual human being. Bella felt a rush of affection for the girl, like they had been best friends for years instead of barely acquaintances. "Why?"
"Listen, he thinks I don't know who he is…but I do," she whispered in a rush, taking a step closer to Bella. "I know he used to be your best friend, and that other kid, Edward's. We worked together on a project last year and he was so funny and sweet…but everyone made fun of me so much and I was stupid, so I didn't do anything about my...my feelings towards him. Which was absolutely retarded. And then this year he comes back and he's gorgeous and he comes right up to me, me, and starts talking to me, and I'm so happy I could sing. My friends don't remember him, but I do, and I'm so happy that I'm brave enough to finally be with him." Her words were quick and rushed and blended together in one long sentence. Bella was baffled.
"Wow," Bella finally managed. She assumed Alice thought Jasper was new or something, and she thought she never liked him last year, after they worked on that project together. But she did. She was just like Jasper. Hiding her feelings. "That's…wow."
"I know. But he's been so sad lately and I just want to do something to make him happy, but I don't know what he's sad about," she continued and she was biting her lip again, looking sad. "I only just got him back and I don't want to lose him. Do you have any idea what I can do? I know you probably think I'm a huge bitch and that I'm stuck up and all this other stuff, but I'm not like my friends. I promise. I just want what's best for Jasper." Alice took a deep breath and stared at Bella with pleading eyes. Bella was sure her jaw had hit the floor.
"I don't think you're a bitch," Bella said without thinking. But it was true. Alice had never teased her, unlike Tanya and Victoria and Rosalie. Alice was always the polite one, the bystander. She didn't do anything to Bella, but she didn't try and stop it either. Although Bella could understand that in the hierarchy of high school, she was at the bottom and Alice was near the top. If Alice wanted to keep her power, she couldn't be seen as weak. High school was like a hunting lioness. Look for the weakest link and take it down. Alice gave Bella a grateful smile.
"You're really a nice girl Bella. I don't know why Tanya needs to be such a bitch all the time." Alice and Bella shared a knowing smile, and in that moment, Bella knew that popularity wasn't all it cracked up to be. Alice didn't look happy with her friend—in fact, she seemed miserable at the thought of her so-called friends, said her name with a tone of spite, the way a servant does the name of his master.
"Listen, all I can say right now is just be there for Jasper. I know he really likes you. He's probably just upset because he lost his friendship with Edward." Bella didn't want to go into the details of Edward's desire to be popular, not with Alice. It wasn't her secret to tell, and she didn't want to make Alice feel obligated to help or anything. "Jasper's a really good person, and I'm sure he'll feel better soon. Just be there for him."
"I just don't want to lose him," Alice whispered softly, staring down at her feet, weakness pouring from her stance. If Bella were mean, she could have easily taken advantage of Alice's momentary weakness—she had dropped her walls and Bella could easily attack—but she wasn't like that, and she wasn't going to hurt Alice in her moment of vulnerability.
"Alice, I know he cares about you, and I can tell you care about him," Bella said, wanting to comfort the small girl standing beside her. Bella reached out and took her hand, squeezing it comfortingly, the way best friends do. And Bella felt they could be best friends, in another world, another life. But she knew that Alice would go back to Tanya and Bella would go back to Edward, and everything would play out like how it was supposed to. "Everything will work out. It always does."
"Thanks Bella." And her voice was truly grateful. "I'm really glad I talked to you. I knew I could trust you. More than my other friends." She sighed, but smiled anyways. Bella felt pity for her.
"Anytime Alice," Bella promised with a smile. Alice quickly reached up and hugged Bella, and Bella, frozen with surprise, just stood there. Alice released her quickly, smiling still.
"Thanks Bella. See you later." She walked away, almost skipping, and Bella was glad to make her feel better. The final bell rang and Bella had to rush to her first period class, since her talk with Alice had taken up the time she would normally spend at her locker. Bella hurried to the first period English class she shared with Edward. The teacher gave her a stern look as Bella made her way to the back of the room, sinking in her chair next to Edward. He was staring straight ahead, at the teacher, and didn't make eye contact. Bella stared at him in confusion. He had been friendly enough this morning. Had something happened?
Edward was out of his seat the moment the bell rang, signaling the end of first period, leaving Bella behind him, hurriedly shoving her books into her bag. She stared after him, eyebrows furrowed, feeling hurt. Why was he avoiding her? She made her way to Spanish alone, fighting back tears. Edward was already seated and staring forward, his chair angled away from the seat Bella always sat in. Bella sat slowly, carefully watching Edward. His eyes were tight, drawn, and his jaw was set angrily. Bella couldn't understand what she did wrong.
Again, Edward left as quickly as physically possible, almost out of the seat before the bell rang. Even though Bella had packed away her things as quickly as possible, she was still nowhere near as fast as him. She was grateful to have the next period away from him. She was confused and hurt, and she felt like she was going to cry. She even felt angry. Why was he mad at her? What had she done?
Bella didn't even bother getting her hopes up, and she was right not to. Edward didn't meet her eyes in history either. He just sat, his back ramrod straight, in the chair next to her, ignoring her existence as easily as the other students did. Bella bit her lip and leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes to keep the tears from falling. She hated this. She hated him for making her feel like this. She hated the way she loved him, and the way he didn't love her back. She hated herself for being so weak.
"Edward," Bella called at the end of the class, but Edward was already breezing through the door, quicker than even the teacher. Bella made her way to lunch alone, chin quivering. She stopped at her locker to grab the sandwich she had packed, although she didn't feel much like eating. She could feel a few tears slide down her cheeks as she did and she wiped them away quickly.
"Bella?" Although the voice was welcome, it wasn't the one she desperately wanted to hear. Bella turned to face Alice, plastering a fake smile on her face and trying to act like she hadn't been crying. "Bella, what's wrong?" Alice asked, concern clear in her voice.
"Nothing," Bella lied, but her voice broke, giving her away. Alice rushed over and wrapped her arms around Bella's shoulders, looking confused and worried.
"What's wrong?" Alice repeated.
"Edward," Bella choked, feeling a surge of anger as she said his name. Why did she have to love him? Why didn't he love her? She wanted to scream.
"What happened? Is he hurt?" Bella shook her head. "Did you two fight? What happened?"
"I don't know, that's the problem," Bella said quickly, wiping away a few more furious tears. "We were fine when he drove me to school this morning. And then I get to first period and he avoids me like the plague! I can't figure out what the hell happened!" Bella took a deep breath, hearing how her voice went slightly hysterical at the end. She could be strong, she just had to try. She took a deep breath in and held it for ten seconds, letting it out in a slow breath through her teeth, eyes shut tight. When she opened her eyes again, she was feeling a bit better.
"He just started ignoring you? Just like that?" Alice asked, sounding as confused as Bella felt. Bella nodded. "That's so weird. Can you think of anything that might have caused this?" Bella thought back, trying to remember what she had done that morning in the car. Maybe she had annoyed him by asking how he was feeling too many times. Or maybe it was something that didn't have to do with her. Maybe James or Emmett had tormented him again.
"I don't know. Did your friends say anything about…you know…" Bella felt uncomfortable talking about Alice's friends' bullying tendencies, and by the look on Alice's face, Bella knew she felt uncomfortable as well. Bella could tell Alice disapproved of their bullying.
"No, not that I've heard." Bella knew she was telling the truth. And she also knew if James had caught up to him again, he would certainly be boasting about it. So it must have been her then. The thought didn't make her feel any better. "I'm sorry Bella. I don't know what to say."
"It's okay," Bella sighed. She pulled herself out of Alice's arms. "I'll just talk to him at lunch. I'll be fine. I can fix this." She was trying to convince herself as much as Alice. Alice just sighed and nodded.
"I'm here if you need me," she promised.
"Thanks Alice." Bella hugged her new friend, and she knew she could call Alice that now. A friend. Although they probably wouldn't hang out outside of school, and Alice probably wouldn't even acknowledge Bella when she passed with her friends, but that's just how high school worked. They would be friends, but they wouldn't be publically friends. Bella sighed—she couldn't wait to be done with high school and all of its stupid little dramas.
Alice and Bella went their separate ways, back to their separate worlds. Bella walked into the cafeteria and to her friends at the table by the trash barrel, all the way in the corner. Alice joined her group in the center of the room, everyone laughing and chatting. Alice joined Jasper off to one side and he took her hand and kissed it before pulling her down next to him. Bella sighed again when she realized Edward wasn't at her table. Only Angela and Ben. She would have to play third wheel. She didn't mind, but she wanted to see Edward and ask him what was wrong.
The three chatted idly during lunch, none of them mentioning Edward's peculiar absence from their table. Bella knew he wasn't sitting anywhere else in the room (having scanned it thoroughly, twice) so she knew he was just avoiding her again. Ben and Angela seemed to realize Bella didn't want to talk about it. They followed her lead and didn't mention it. Again, Bella made her way to class alone. Gym, her most dreaded subject and last class with Edward.
Gym was awful. Edward had already joined another boy, someone she recognized from the science club, by the time she changed, and she had to join up with another boy who looked like he had a pretty severe cold, and Bella knew why everyone else was avoiding him. His eyes were rimmed red, little drops of liquid were falling constantly from his nose, and it seemed he had taken to wiping them on his sleeve. He kept coughing into his hand and then touching the equipment. It made Bella sick. She stood in the back of the court and didn't participate. She watched Alice and Jasper as they played, working perfectly in tandem, reading each other's moves perfectly. They were unbeatable.
The boy held his hand up for a high five at the end of the class, and Bella, not wanting to be rude, slapped his hand. She washed her hands thoroughly in the bathroom of the locker room, but she knew if she got sick, she'd be pissed at Edward. Alice and Jasper were waiting for Bella outside of the locker rooms, ready to go to creative writing. Bella was surprised—she had assumed they wouldn't want to be walking with her, seeing how it could tarnish their reputation. But Alice held her head high as Bella stared at her shoes.
The three of them sat down in their usual chairs, all in a row, Jasper in the center. Alice made an extra effort to include Bella in their conversation, asking questions and keeping the topics strictly off of their group of friends. Bella was grateful for the distraction.
"How's everything with Edward?" Alice asked in a rush, when Jasper stood to sharpen his pencil.
"Worse. I'm cornering him after school. I mean, I don't have a ride home if he doesn't take me, so I'm not letting him leave without an explanation," Bella whispered back quickly. Alice raised her eyebrows, but didn't comment as Jasper came back and sank down into his seat, pencil tip sharp and pointy.
Bella did just as she said she would. She didn't even stop at her locker after school, instead just running to the parking lot. Luckily, Edward's car was still parked in the parking lot, so she stood by the passenger seat and waited. Edward would have no choice but to talk to her. It's not like he would walk home in the rain. His parents would kill him if he left the car at school anyways. Edward took his time, but eventually he did come.
He glanced at her and unlocked the car wordlessly. "Get in," he commanded, and Bella was too frightened to refuse. She just opened the door and slipped inside, shaking out her now wet hair. Edward sped out of the parking lot and Bella clutched to the seat as they drove, feeling terrified. Edward was outside of her house sooner than she would have thought possible. He waited in silence for her to get out. But as Bella regained feeling in her legs, she regained her confidence as well. They needed to talk.
"What is with you today?" she demanded. Edward sighed. He had seen this coming, he knew it was inevitable—but he still wasn't ready.
"I can deal with Jasper. At least he had a reason. He loves Alice. He did what he had to do, and he was lucky enough to have it work for him. But I can't deal with this." His voice was hard and cold, and it sounded like he had rehearsed what he was going to say. Bella stared at him, in shock.
"What are you talking about?" she demanded after a moment. She was more confused than ever after this statement.
"I'm talking about you and Alice. Jasper ditched us to be popular. And now you are too? You're always telling me it's not worth it Bella. Always. What was that all just a lie so you could convince yourself?"
"Me and Alice," Bella repeated as his words sunk in. She realized he must have seen them this morning, when Alice had asked for help with Jasper. Maybe he had seen them before lunch, or even after gym. Whenever it was, it didn't matter. Edward had no right, no right, to accuse her of this. Or to even be angry at her. It was ridiculous.
"So, now that Jasper's popular, you have to do it too?" Edward snapped, taking advantage of Bella's momentary speechlessness, which he had taken for a guilty silence. "I'm not good enough for you? You have to steal my dream too?"
"How dare you?" Bella hissed when words finally came to her. "Do you even hear yourself right now?" Edward stayed silent. Bella was fuming. She thought steam was about to pour from her ears. "Yelling at me for talking to Alice. Just because she's popular. She was asking me for help with Jasper. She knew we used to be friends. That's all. And yeah, I like Alice, she's nice, and we're friends. But so what? That doesn't mean I'm about to ditch you for her and those bitches. Why would I want to do that? They've never been anything but mean to me. Personally, I don't find being a bitch or asshole good qualities in a person." Bella had never been this furious at Edward before. She had always understood him, empathized with him. But not now. This was too much.
"I have stood by you for so long. I've helped you do everything you want to do. I listened to you when you were angry or upset, I even listened to you gush about how much you freaking love Tanya! About how much your life sucks and how you don't have anything! And you never realized that you had everything you needed, right in front of you! Right here!" Tears were falling freely down her face now, and she didn't even try to wipe them away. She didn't care. Let him see her insecurities, her weaknesses. What did it matter now? "Do you honestly think I would just drop you for popularity?" Bella looked in his eyes and realized he did think this. Because he would do it himself. "I can't believe you. Do I mean anything to you? Anything at all?" Bella saw the answer in his eyes. She didn't want to hear his words. She couldn't.
"Whatever," she said, shaking her head. More tears were forming in her eyes, and she wanted to punch something. "I'm done. I'm sick of this. I don't even know you, and frankly, I don't want to anymore. Call me when you realize who your true friends are." She got out of the car, ignoring him when he called after her, and stormed inside, dead bolting the door behind her, just in case. But it was pointless. He didn't come after her. He never would.
A/N: Okay, I know Edward seems like the worlds biggest asshole right now, and he kind of is. But next chapter you'll see his thoughts on this, and that's where the magic begins, with the whole wishing on a star thing. Thanks once again to my fabulous beta .miserable . fate. for making sure I didn't call any hes shes haha. And I'm going to advertise myself a bit--please go check out my blog! Just go to my profile and click homepage. Leave a comment and I will love you forever. REVIEW!!