A/N: Finally! Sorry for the long wait everyone. I actually had a chunk of this finished before I went out of town, but just couldn't get it done and up before that point. The last bit got a little rushed because I'm trying to get this up before I head off for a job interview, so if you notice anything out of place or totally messed up - or if it just completely sucks - , let me know and I will rewrite and repost the chapter ASAP.

Also, I won't update this story until I do the final chapter for "Whose Line Is It Anyway: Life With Derek Edition", so probably end of this week/start of next week will be the next update. Thanks to everyone who is supporting this story so far.

Disclaimer: Don't own LWD.

Now, on with the show.

After getting a shower and finding some clean clothes (or at least some that looked clean), Derek decided he was finally ready to go downstairs and get a start to his day. He was glad it was Saturday and even more so for the fact he was supposed to go over to Sam's house. 'Hopefully, a chance to hang out with the guys today will help clear my head' he thought as he rushed down the stairs.

"Morning, son" George said as he was gathering up some papers.

"Hey Dad" Derek replied as he entered the dining room. "So, got to go to the office this morning?"

"Yeah. Have to get some documents together for court next week. So, how did your date go last night?"

"It was okay, I guess. Don't work too hard."

"I'll try not to." With that, George closed up his briefcase and headed for the door.

After his father left, Derek continued his quest to the kitchen. As he walked through the door, he noticed the younger kids were finishing up breakfast. Nora and Casey were beginning to clean up the kitchen. Derek noticed a big stack of chocolate chip pancakes sitting on a plate in the middle of the island. 'My favorite! Thank goodness, I'm starving!' he though as he took a seat at the island. "Ed, syrup, now!" he barked out to younger brother. Edwin managed to hide an eye roll as he got up and headed to the refrigerator to retrieve the syrup.

"You know Derek, God gave you two hands and two feet for a reason." Casey snapped as she dried off a plate.

"I know. I'm still trying to figure out the reason he gave you a mouth." Derek shot back. He let out a laugh as Casey glared at him and tossed the dish towel at his head. "You missed" he stated coolly as the towel sailed by his head, barely missing him. Edwin set the syrup bottle down beside him and Derek commenced to stuff his face.

"Eww, gross." Lizzie said as Derek shoveled a giant forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

"Don't wanna watch, then don't look" Derek said, pointing to the kitchen door.

"Derek. Be nice" Nora scolded as the younger kids got up and left the room.

"What? I was just stating a fact" Derek replied before shoveling another forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

"Well, you didn't have to be a jerk about it." Casey whined before she and Nora turned back around to continue cleaning the dishes. With their backs turn, Derek stuck the middle finger on his left hand up at them before he looked down to his pancakes. As he was gathering another forkful, he felt another dishtowel hit him in the head. He snapped his eyes up to notice Casey glaring back at him. Derek dropped the finger and finished off the last bit of his breakfast.

"Nora, I must say you did a fantastic job with breakfast this morning" he said as he squeezed between Nora and Casey to place his plate in the sink.

"You should be thanking Casey."

"Huh?"

"She was the one that fixed breakfast this morning" Nora stated with a grin.

Derek glanced over at Casey with a stunned look on his face. Casey gave him a half grin, although he could tell by the look in her eye that she was laughing her ass off at him on the inside. 'Of course she did. Thanks karma' he thought as he rolled his eyes and turned to leave the kitchen.

(15 minutes later)

Derek bolted down the steps, guitar and amplifier in hand. Reaching the bottom step, he found his progress to the front door being stop by Casey.

"Where are you going?"

"Sam wanted me and Ralph to…"

"Ralph and me" she corrected him.

"Whatever. Anyway, he wanted to hang out and maybe have a little jam session."

"Why wasn't I invited?" she whined.

"Because, D-Rock is our band. You made only one guest appearance, and we decided to go back to our manly rocking roots."

"Whatever." Casey said as she rolled her eyes.

"Later."

"Smerek?" Derek paused to notice Marti standing at the bottom of the steps.

"Uh, hey Smarti" Derek said.

"I thought you were going to stay home and play with me?" Marti whined.

Derek saw the sad puppy dog look forming on her face. He immediately set his stuff down and walked over to her. "I'll be back later. You save up a special game, and I promise I'll play with you when I get home."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now, I do have a problem though."

"What's that Smerek?"

"I can't leave without my special Smarti Smug." Marti let out a laugh as Derek scooped her up into his arms. After a moment, he set Marti back down and watched as she bounded up the stairs. 'Cute kid. Too bad she's going to be a complete devil like me when she's older' he thought. He then glanced over at Casey to notice a huge smile gracing her face. "What?"

"I really wish I had a video camera so I can show the school how much of a softie you are" she replied.

"Uh, no I'm not."

"That little episode with Marti really doesn't help your argument."

"At least I still the whole 'giving you shit' thing to fall back on" he replied back with a smug grin.

"And I got the 'placing a blanket over me while I was asleep on the couch last night' thing to fall back on myself" she said, mirroring his grin.

'Note to self – no more nice stuff. I don't need her getting more suspicions' he thought as his grin faltered a little bit. "The only reason I did that is because I didn't want to hear you whining about me being the reason you caught a cold. I mean, it's bad enough you tried to blame me for a sprained ankle."

"Sure. Whatever you have to tell yourself, Venturi. And by the way…"

'Shit' he thought to himself.

"Why were you yelling my name this morning?"

'Fuck' he thought again. Good thing he was the Lord of the Lies and had time to prepare one as he took his shower this morning. "I told you…I stepped on a CD case. One that got knocked on the floor the other day when you barged into my room without permission."

"Der-ek!" she huffed at his accusation.

Derek just smirked as he picked up his belonging and headed for the door. Good thing for him that Casey was also gullible.

(4:30 P.M. – Sam's house)

Derek was so glad that for entire day hanging out with his friends. After several hours of jam sessions and street hockey, he found himself with Sam and Ralph in a nonstop robin-robin tournament of playing Babe Raider.

"Dude, that sucks" Ralph blurted out as he threw the controller down.

"The King of Babe Raider wins again" Sam gloated.

"We'll see about that" Derek said as he hopped into Ralph's place and grab the controller.

"Anybody up for some snacks?" Ralph asked.

"Lots of sugar and lots of caffeine?" Derek asked.

"Is there any other kind?" Sam and Derek grinned at Ralph's question. No wonder they had all been friends for so long. As soon as Ralph left the room, Sam and Derek started up another round of Babe Raider. Sam had established that he was one of the, if not the best, video game players around. That still didn't stop Derek from going into psycho mode when it came to playing against or talking smack with Sam – which he was able to back up from time to time.

(5 minutes later)

"Ha-ha. You missed, Venturi."

"Bullshit, that was a give-me."

"Face it dude, you're losing your edge."

"That's what you think." Derek began mashing buttons furiously.

"Wait, is that the…?"

"Oh yes." Derek said with a smug grin.

"Damn it! How were you able to unlock the Excalibur Blade already?!"

"Sam my boy, a true master never reveals his secrets." Derek said as he pressed a button to attack. Unfortunately for him, he didn't notice Sam quietly punching in a code combination of his own. "Hey, what the …?!" Derek started as the sword disappeared from his character's hands.

"Looking for this?" Sam asked with a smirk as his character now held the sword that Derek held previously.

"Oooo…you bastard!" Derek said as Sam pressed his last button. With a bright flash and a swing of the blade, Sam's character blasted Derek's away.

"Yes! The King of Babe Raider wins again!" Sam gloated. As he danced around the room, Derek stared at the screen, holding his hands over his mouth. Before he could even realize it, another fantasy had entered his head at the most inopportune time.

Derek found himself running through the corridors an ancient temple. Periodically, he would turn back to fire more rounds from his handgun. Taking a right through the dark tunnel, he soon found himself in a large room, lit only by the moonlight and a few torches around the perimeter of the room. In the middle of the room was a long, elevated slab of stone – probably once used as an altar for sacrifices or something.

"Whew, that was close." he let out between breaths. Suddenly, a figure dropped onto the altar. Derek immediately lifted his pistol up and pulled the trigger. Nothing. "Damn! Out of ammo!" he said as he took a couple of steps backward. "How could this get any worse?" He was soon answered by the sight and sound of a large stone door closing automatically, sealing off the only reachable exit from the room. "Just great" he muttered sarcastically. Suddenly, he felt a hand grab him from behind and throw him to the ground. Trying to block out the pain, he looks up through squinted eyes at the shadowy figure.

A loud noise caused the figure to turn its head away from Derek and toward the altar. Derek slowly turned his head to see another person standing on the same altar that the figure landed on earlier. Female, long hair, skin tight black tank top and pants, and leather boots. Babe Raider has come to kick some ass. The figure immediately moved away from Derek and toward the altar, only to be met with a flying kick from her. The figure stumbled backward, trying to regain its balance, only to be greeted by a flurry of punches and kicks from Babe Raider. As the figure collapsed to its knees, she delivered another kick to its head, putting the figure down for good.

"Well, looks like you need to be more careful running through temples by yourself" the lady said as she walked over to Derek and offered a hand to him. With the way the light shone in the room, Derek could now see the face of the heroine.

"I suppose thanks are in order for saving my ass there, Casey." He replied with a half-hearted grin as she helped him to his feet.

"I suppose you're right" she said with a seductive smile before leaning in to kiss him.

"I thought I was supposed to be thanking you" Derek said between kisses.

"You are. Besides, I should also be thanking you for helping me defeat the Alien Visigoths" she answers. Derek's eyes grow wide as she grabs the bottom of her tank top and pulls it up over her head, revealing her breasts in the dim light of the room.

"Wow. You are the King of Babes." Derek said with a huge grin.

"That's Queen of Babes." Casey corrected before pressing back into him with another kiss.

"Hello! Earth to Derek!" Sam was right in Derek's face waving his hands frantically.

"Huh? What? Oh…sorry." Derek muttered as he finally snapped back to reality.

"Dude, are you okay? You were zoned out for a while." Sam then looked over at the screen, where his Babe Raider character was still on the screen. "Dude, you don't get laid enough? Do I need to get you a paper towel and leave you alone with Babe Raider for a couple of minutes?"

"No, no. I…I was just thinking about a girl I met one time that was dressed up as her."

"Cute girl?"

"Yeah. The outfit made her look even better."

"There's something funny about that." Sam said. Derek gave him a questioning look. "You don't go to conventions or anything, so you must do a lot of browsing on the web or ran into her at a store. I mean, the only girl we've ever met that dressed up in that outfit was …" He didn't even finish his sentence before the thought entered his head. Sam went wide eyed and stared at Derek in disbelief.

"Dude, what the hell?" Derek asked.

"The only person you've ever met that dressed as Babe Raider was Casey!" Sam blurted out. It was now Derek's turn to go wide eyed at Sam's revelation.

'Shit!' he thought. Derek realized that now, he was royally screwed. This was Sam – his best friend, Casey's ex-boyfriend, the smart one in his group of friends. How could he have made that big of a blunder in this situation? "Sam, no…"

"Oh!"

"Sam, don't!"

"My!"

"Quit acting like a girl!"

"God!"

"It's not what you think!"

"You have a thing for Casey!" As soon as the words left Sam's mouth, Derek tackled him to the ground and placed a hand over his mouth.

"Shhhhh! Are you insane?!"

"Dude, you have a thing for Casey?" Derek snapped his head up and turned to the door. Ralph was just standing there, holding the snacks he went to get and sporting his usual goofy grin.

"No I don't!" Derek protested.

"Yes he does!" Sam shouted out, now free from Derek's grasp.

"Sam, you're just now figuring it out?" Ralph asked.

"Huh?!" Derek and Sam responded in shock.

"I mean it's pretty obvious." Ralph stated before taking a sip from a bottle of Coke.

"Excuse me." Derek huffed as he pushed by Ralph and ran down the stairs. Sam and Ralph stood quietly as the footsteps got farther away and the sound of the front door could be heard opening and closing.

"How did you figure it out?" Sam finally asked Ralph.

"I dunno. I guess it was just obvious by the way they act toward each other. They remind me of my grandparents. You?" Ralph replied.

"He just told me the Babe Raider girl reminded him of a cute girl he saw dressed up like that before."

"So?"

"So – who is the only person we know that dressed up in a Babe Raider outfit?"

It took Ralph a few seconds to process the information, but it finally dawned on him. "Oh." After that, another brief period of silence fell upon the room.

"So, do you think that he…?" Sam started before a loud yell from outside the house cut him off.

"FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!" could be heard from outside the house. Sam and Ralph both stared at each other at the loudness of Derek's voice. They then heard the sound of the front door opening and footsteps heading back up the stairs. "I feel better now." Derek said as he brushed past both of them. "Well, today has been great, but I've really got to get…"

"You're not going anywhere man." Sam said as he quickly slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Yeah, we've got to know the details about this." Ralph added, taking a bite out of one of the cookies he brought up.

Derek stared at his two best friends with a look of horror. They didn't have angry or disgusted looks on their faces, but he could tell by looking into their eyes that they were going to pick him apart with questions. He could already hear the who, what, when, where, how, and whys ringing in his ears.

'I wonder if this is how a man feels when facing a firing squad' he thought to himself as he took in a deep breath.

A/N: Uh-oh! Somebody has found out Derek's secret! How will our hero react! Guess you'll have to stay tuned for the next chapter. :D

Also, hope you enjoy the references to the Babe Raider episode. Didn't think I would do the story justice if that episode didn't have some influence on Derek's thoughts.

- the OD