A/N: Just meandering along with the story…
Disc.: Creation is a start. Manipulation is divine.
Burning
I fell into step behind Lily, waiting for her to realize that I was there. I liked that look on her face when she'd catch me nearby unexpectedly and she oppressed it quickly, almost if she was afraid to let herself be read like a book. She stood a little taller, not turning to look at me, but I knew that she knew I was there.
"I thought you said I'd get used to it?" Lily complained without turning around to look at me. For a moment, I wondered where her friends were, but I assumed that she had taken insanely longer or shorter than her roommates, thus causing her to walk to breakfast alone. I grinned unseen.
"You will," I told her. She glanced at me skeptically and I grinned again. "Heading to breakfast?"
"Yes," she said as she withdrew her arms into her cloak like a little kid, probably tucking them against her body. It wasn't a very Slytherin thing to do, walk around with your arms in your cloak, but I didn't say anything to that effect. "Are you sure my scarf wasn't with my jacket, because I could have sworn it was."
"I gave you back everything you left in my room," I lied with a smirk on my face. Most girls melted when I looked at them, but not her. Not at all. Instead, Lily rolled her eyes. I knew she didn't believe me, but it was her thoughts and words against mine.
"I guess I'll just ask James to swing over to the robe shop and see if he can't pick me up a new one then," Lily said sighing overdramatically as we reached the door. I knew she was just trying to guilt me into giving her back her scarf, of which I had no intention of doing. I had the greatest dreams about Lily since she left it in my room, though I had taken to hiding it in my pillowcase just to be safe. I didn't want her getting wise and coming to look for it. I knew no one would ever look there.
"No matter," I murmured softly as I seized her wrist. I never intend on giving her scarf back to her, but I didn't want Lily to get sick or anything either because of it. I unwound my scarf, a little excited by the idea that she would be wearing something of mine.
"No, wait Scorpius," Lily protested and I couldn't help but smile. "I can't take your scarf."
"Take it Lily," I told her as I wound it around her neck securely. I couldn't help but grin that she was wearing my clothes, my scarf. "I have others."
"Really, I shouldn't," Lily said. She had a faint smile on her lips and I could tell that she was slightly embarrassed, but in a good way. I smiled again, excited to see that it affected her.
"It looks better on you, anyways," I said quietly. Her face reddened even more.
"What will you use while you're in Hogsmead?" Lily asked me, almost as a last ditch effort to not except my gift. I grunted with a shrug of my shoulders, not really having thought that far out. It would be cold in Hogsmead without my scarf, but well worth it if Lily was wearing it. She looked at me rather worried and I wanted to put those worries to bed, so to speak.
"I'll just have to make due," I said shrugging slightly. "Don't worry about it, Lily. I'll just grab another one. You stay warm with this one."
"Thank you," Lily said to me as her cheeks pinked slightly. She pushed through the doors and I watched her as she found her regular seat. Shale and Kate were not far behind, Shale taking her left, Kate taking her right.
I found my seat with my fellow third year classmates, Damon glancing at Lily for a moment and then back at me. I shrugged as Darla came in excited. She stopped halfway between Lily's group and my own, excitedly rambling. I wasn't listening very carefully until she muttered the 's' word: snow. I perked right up and turn, my focus completely on Darla at the moment as she sat down across from Lily, Kate, and Shale.
"Didn't you know?" Darla asked. She pointed to a nearby window. "It's snowing. It's going to be a white Halloween this year." We all glanced over at the windows, and sure enough there were white flakes of snow sticking to the glass panes.
"SNOW!" Shale cheered. I looked over at Shale, the poor boy excitedly shoveling food into his mouth and I hoped that some of our older Slytherin housemates didn't see his behavior. Elena looked at me, her look easily interpreted as 'Where's the fire?' and I shrugged. I was excited about the snow as well, Hogsmead always a great place to go when there are inches of snow, or so I had been told. I watched as Shale threw back his pumpkin juice and grabbed Lily by the hand, practically dragging her out of the Great Hall.
Damon, Elena, and I finished up our breakfast at a more leisurely pace and we finally stood, ready to face the wintery wonderland. I had to admit that I was excited to get out of the castle, off the school grounds, and to Hogsmead. The three of us queued up so that Mr. Filch could check us off the list. Celeste fell into line next to us, chatting with Elena about some Transfiguration homework. I glanced around, my eyes automatically seeking out Lily. She and her friends were goofing off by the fountain and she took that moment to look up at me. She smiled.
I would have enjoyed that moment better had Shale in his attempt to maintain her complete attention not decided at that moment to crush a very large snowball on Lily's head. I shook my head as she looked at him in mild shock, the clumps of snow clinging to her hair. The white against her auburn hair was a bold contrast, and it glinted in the sun. I nearly laughed as Lily sprung and tackled Shale to the ground, pinning him hard against the snow. I felt a little uneasy by my feelings of almost jealousy, a fleeting and irrational thought that wanted have her pin me like that, her legs on either side of my body.
"Come on," Damon said tugging on my sleeve as Filch checked us off. Damon and I got in our own snowy fun on the way to Hogsmead, a few ill timed snowballs hitting the girls. They promptly abandoned us for more mature prospects, which caused us to laugh because it seemed like they were always trying to find an excuse to ditch us, but never wanted to walk to Hogsmead alone.
Damon and I spent the day just being ourselves, pelting random Gryffindors with snowballs from various hiding places. I caught James no less than three times, and it took everything fiber of my being to not roar with laughter and to give away my position when he'd turn around, rubbing the snow out of his hair and scowling. It was one of the best days of my life.
"Next time, Potter," I heard as I walked across the grounds towards the castle. It was cold and I was itching to get in and warm up before the big Halloween feast. "I'll get you next time." I turned around, looking who was threatening James, eager to shake his hand. I saw Lily walking backwards, pointing at her cousin, the boy one.
"Anytime Weasley," she had called. She was practically next to me, laughing at her cousin for whatever reason and she nearly tripped over this barely visible tree root that seemed to crop up out of the snow. Her hand shot out as I went to grab for her and she seized my robes in her hand, clutching at the wool fabric to keep from spilling to the ground. She looked up at me, blushing and I swear I could hear her groan slightly in embarrassment.
"Sorry," Lily said as she brushed the snow from her clothes, averting her eyes. "I'll watch where I'm walking." Her embarrassment was evident on her face.
Not sure as to what to say, I raised an eyebrow at her as she nodded at me once, retreating quickly, almost in a full out run, to join Kate and Shale who were waiting for her. She glanced back at me. I was still on course to the common room myself, where I assumed they were going in their erratic pace of walking fast and then walking slow. They were shivering and red faced. Lily didn't once look back at me as I followed along with Damon at a comfortable, even pace. Lily started, to my surprise, to remove her cloak in the middle of the corridor.
"What are you doing? It's freezing in here," I heard Shale ask her. I wondered the same thing. It wasn't as cold as the outdoors, but this place was drafty in the corridors. I picked up my pace slightly to hear her reasoning.
"I'm freezing and this thing is soaked, more so than my clothes," Lily said. "I don't want to catch a cold or something."
"How'd you three manage to get sopping wet?" I asked curiously. I mean I had spent all day outside in the snow and only the very bottom of my cloak was even remotely damp.
"Snowball fight," Lily said as she glanced back at me. Her clothes clung to her as if she had been swimming in the lake. I was tempted to take my cloak off and throw it around her, and had we been alone, I very nearly would have.
"It was awesome," Shale said excitedly. "I won the whole thing for Slytherin."
Lily looked away from me, laughed and nodded in agreement. I passed the three of them, heading first through the portrait hole. I stopped and held it open for them, waiting not because I was a nice guy but because I didn't want to part from her quite yet.
"You're face is rosy," I commented to Lily, grinning. "You may want to go get some warm, dry clothes on so that you don't get sick."
"Can I come by and see Ash and her kitten," Lily asked me suddenly, her hands clutched in front of her body, begging. I hesitated, not realizing the sudden strange feelings that seemed to assault my insides. She bit her bottom lips and looked up at me, pleading with her big, blue eyes. A stronger man would have crumbled before then. "Please, Scorpius. I won't stay long."
"Fine, fine," I smiled slightly and rolled my eyes. Lily squealed in response, quite girlishly, and threw her arms around me, catching me off guard. My eyes shot open wide, the iciness of her first embrace with me chilling me straight through my cloak. "You're wet, Lily. Let go."
"Sorry, sorry," Lily laughed as she pulled away. I immediately wanted her to embrace me again, though I could have done without the coldness and wetness.
"Go get changed. The Halloween Festival is tonight. Trust me, you don't want to miss it," I told her with a smile, trying to cover up my own desire. Lily grinned at me and ran off to join her friend, Kate.
I watch Lily throughout the Halloween feast but kept my distance. Those lines between Malfoy and Potter seemed to get blurred anytime I was around her and I knew that it could be dangerous. Still, I couldn't help but glanced her way every once in a while. Luckily for me, Darla was sitting near her, on her side of the table and had anyone noticed I was looking that way a lot, they could surmise that it was Darla and not Lily that I was looking at.
The younger kids were sent off to bed first and I felt both relieved and disappointed when Lily and her friends left from the table. With her gone, I wasn't looking at her or watching her anymore, which was good in the sense I could keep up with the conversation I was having with Damon. On the bad side, she was gone and I couldn't help but wonder where she was and what she was up to.
"Hey, man. You all right?" Damon asked me. I looked at him in confusion and laughed.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I asked him as I made a face.
"You've been kind of spacey," Damon said. I laughed.
"No, I haven't," I lied. I wondered if I really had been. "Just because I am deep in thought doesn't mean I am spacey." Damon looked at me like he doubted what I was saying but I gave him that arrogant look I learned from my father and Damon backed down. I grinned as I stood and he waved me off.
I headed slowly to the common room, not really ready for bed but thinking that it might be best for me to start heading that way. I was certain that our gracious captain would want us as well rested as possible for practice, and I was not about to be the first person to whine about being tired. I headed through the common room, most of the first and second years already long gone to bed, where they belonged. I opened the door to my dormitory and headed over to my bed.
Curled up with my cat and her kitten was Lily. Her eyes were closed and she was fast asleep. I guess all the snow play earlier wore her out more than she expected it to. I watched her sleep for a few minutes, wondering what she was dreaming about. She looked so peaceful and I was sure that whatever she was dreaming about was probably full of goodness and wonder and light. Lily was just one of those people. I didn't want to wake her, but I knew that it'd not be good for either of us if she spent the night sleeping in my bed. For one I was pretty sure that it was against the rules.
"You know, it's rude to climb into a bloke's bed without at least some sort of permission," I said loud enough that I knew she'd hear me, no matter if she was asleep or not. I guess my voice carried a bit more power behind it because she jumped, startled at the sound. Ash looked at me with disdain. Lily pushed herself up on her arms and she yawn.
"Ash gave me permission," Lily lied as she rested her head back down on her arm and turned her back to me.
"Oh, so my demon cat gave you permission, did she?" I said as I remained firmly where my feet were planted. Half of me was tempted to move forward, the other half determined to step away. It was a confusing mix of motions that I could neither suppress nor control.
"Mhmm, yes," Lily murmured as she played with the cat's collar. I could hear Ash purring at Lily's touch and my cheeks warmed wondering what it would feel like for Lily to touch me so casually. I near choked, reminding myself that she was James Potter's eleven year old sister, Slytherin or not.
"You going to stay," I asked her as I finally moved, heading in front of the mirror. I could see Lily in it's reflection, her eyes on me with a sleepy sort of curiosity. Without thought, I slowly undid my tie and dropped it next to her on the bed. I watched curiously as I removed my shirt, letting it fall from my fingers before putting on the tee shirt I would probably attempt to wear to bed. I couldn't help but smile. From this vantage point, she seemed to be holding her breath. My smile spread and I touched the button to my trousers, a silent threat of what was about to come. Her eyes met mine, the blue wider than the sea. Embarrassment colored her face bright red.
"I should go," Lily squeaked out as she jumped up and sprinted out of the dormitory. I laughed and changed into my favorite sweat pants. She was the most unusual girl I knew, and that was saying a lot.
Damon walked in as I scooped my discarded clothes off the floor. He and I chatted for a bit before I settled down under my covers. It was unnerving the way my body seemed try and take the same position that Lily had in the bed, almost as if my body wanted to will to be as close to her as possible. I knew it was silly to think that, but with her aroma still lingering in my linens, my mind was a haze of unexplainable feelings. I jerked my tee shirt off, knowing that the fabric would keep me awake all night if I even dared to try.
I fell asleep and dreamed improper dreams of Lily. They flashed like bad snapshots, but I didn't care. They seemed to all revolve around one thing, Lily and me being together. The snapshots slowed down until they stopped and with such precision, I dreamed about holding her and kissing Lily Potter. We were older in my dream, the ick-factor long gone. She tasted so sweet and the dream felt so real as she gripped my shoulder, encouraging for me to do more than kiss her.
She shook me. At first I was confused as to whether this was part of the dream or not, it felt so real, and then she shook me again, tearing me from my about to become very pleasant dream. I opened my eyes, surprised and annoyed. I was annoyed that someone had woken me, but surprised to see Lily standing over me in her sleep clothes. For a minute, my stomach flip flopped and a deep part of me that I was vaguely aware of ached and burned.
"I was in the middle of a really good dream," I complained quietly.
"I'm sorry," Lily said quietly. She bit her bottom lip slightly, as if she was thinking of the way to put some bad news. "My friend Shale needs someone to walk him down to the hospital wing."
"So take him," I said squirming under my blankets slightly. Suddenly I felt hot everywhere, the burning tearing through me well below my navel. I glanced at her hand, it still holding on to my bare shoulder and I figured that it was the source of my sudden discomfort, though it felt good to have her flesh and mine together, so natural. "Think you might want to take your hand off my shoulder a bit?"
"Sorry," Lily said pulling her hand back. She sat down on the edge of the bed. "I can't take him. It would be hard to explain."
"Hard to explain?" I yawned as I sat up a little, adjusting my pillows behind my back. I wasn't fan of how the headboard felt against it and I always put my pillows between me and it. Without thinking, I touched her arm, causing her to turn to me. "What were you doing with him? It feels like it is late." I was curious, how Lily and Shale were up so late that he would go to her. I assumed that she was not in her bed again, having caught her dozing on the chairs with a book more nights than I could probably remember. She looked at me again, hesitantly.
"It is late, er, well really early actually. He and I were just talking," Lily said. I raised my eyebrow at her slightly. Talking my ass. I wasn't born yesterday, and I knew that boys like Shale, like me, only talked to girls when we could be sleeping or doing other things when we really were into the girl "Please, please take him down there for me."
"All right, Lils, I'll take him down to the hospital wing," I buckled and agreed, a slight grin on my face. "I can't have your reputation tarnished." I knew I would do it the moment she asked, because frankly I couldn't imagine saying no to her.
"Oh, thanks so much, Scorpius," Lily said throwing her arms around my neck suddenly, catching me completely off guard. I turned to look at her and she kissed me on the mouth. It was a quick kiss, not lasting more than a hand full of seconds, but it was enough to cause her to register on her face the same surprise I felt inside. That burning feeling was back with a vengeance, swirling and licking my insides, threatening to consume. I ached. She pulled back as if I had actually burst into flames.
"No worries," I said in a forcedly cool voice, not betraying how I truly felt, as Lily retreated from my bed at an alarming rate. I climbed out of bed and retrieved my tee shirt from where I had discarded it, heading into the common room as I pulled it into place over my head.
"Thanks man," Shale said nasally as he wiped his face with his palms. I looked at Shale, wondering what the hell had happened. I jerked a bunch of tissues from a box and held it out to the boy. Lily and Shale looked insanely guilty for some reason, and it piqued my curiosity. Shale held the wad of paper to his nose.
"What did you do?" I asked as I looked at him. Shale's eyes never met mine, and I knew whatever he said would be a lie.
"Walked into a wall," Shale said. I nearly laughed, the most absurd excuse in the world and he was trying to use it.
"A wall did this to you?" I asked skeptically. I looked at Lily but she looked away quickly, her face red.
"Er, yeah," Shale said nodding. I shook my head in disbelief but shrugged.
"Whatever you want me to believe," I said. I gestured toward the portrait hole with my hand. "Come on, let's go. I want to get back to bed. I was having an awesome dream before she so rudely woke me up."