A/N: Continuing… thank you to all of you who are reading and reviewing. I do appreciate it. It make it worthwhile on so many levels. This chapter is a long one and probably should have been subdivided, but it's not.

Disc.: The challenge is to create something new out of something that is not.

Yet More Quidditch

I glanced at Lily while we headed to the field to play Gryffindor. It was her first official game and she looked a little nervous. For a brief moment, I could have sworn that she was going to bolt out of there, that or puke, but she didn't. I caught her eye, smiling reassuringly at her, before our team took to the air. I guess the Gryffindors thought that Lily would be easy on her brother, James, because they kept passing him the Quaffle. I nearly laughed the first time I glanced up to see Lily send a line drive Bludger, right at his head. It was good that I looked up at them because I would have hated myself had I missed Lily's perfectly executed Bludger contacting with the side of James' head. He had moved slightly, but it still clipped him and gave him one hell of a minor concussion.

We killed the Gryffindors that game. It was spectacular! When Nice caught our Snitch, the Slytherin house roared in celebration and our team collapsed in on itself, hugging and patting each other's back. I could pin point the moment that Lily's arms wrapped around me, her scent and warmth engulfing me quite tauntingly, and I could feel the distant disappointment as they went away, a chilling longing left in her absence. There was no time to dwell because I had screaming in my ears as Darla attacked, proud of me and quite vocal about it. I kissed her, and quite enjoyed it for the moment. Nothing is sweeter than a victory kiss.

We had a hell of a victory party, the days of the stuffy tea party victory celebrations gone out with the seventh years last year. The whole dungeon was decked out in green and silver streamers, large tables piled high with victory. There were bottles of butter beer for the younger students and stolen sippers of fire whiskey for us older students. I stood in the middle of the large group, Darla's hand firmly in mine, as I talked technique. It was a while before I noticed that Lily was not at the celebratory party.

"Where's Lily?" I asked casually as I looked away from Darla to Damon. Damon shrugged and looked around.

"You know what? I've not seen her since we left the locker room," Damon said glancing up at the clock.

"Maybe Flint knows?" I suggested casually. I shrugged like Lily's whereabouts were of no consequence to me though suddenly the idea was at the forefront of my mind. It was irritating how quickly all my thoughts turned to her. Damon shrugged and placed his cup down.

"I'd better go check," he said laughing. "You know how much trouble our darling little third years can get into."

"Ok," I said casually as I turned to Darla. "Do you want a drink or something?"

"No, I'm good," Darla said. I grinned.

"Ok, mind if I head off to chat with a few people? I'll be back to collect you later," I said kissing her cheek. I didn't wait for her response, but instead headed away. I mingled with others, waiting until the last minute to return to Darla's side. She looked a little annoyed, but I didn't push it. I spent a little time with her, not really paying much attention to Darla until she looked at me with a pale face.

"Hey, kiddo, you ok?" I asked as I looked at her.

"No…" Darla said weakly. "I think I should go to the hospital wing and see Madame Pomphrey." I looked at her for a moment, calculating the days up in my mind, and nodded. It was that time of the month again, of course. Always, it seemed. This was going to get old when we were married, surely, and I couldn't even imagine how she would be if we had children. She didn't seem as hearty all of a sudden, her frailness coming across as I slipped my arm behind her and taking most of her weight on me, carrying her out of the portrait hole.

Darla was nothing to ease into a hospital bed as far from James Potter as possible. I barely glanced over at him, to see that Lily had done a wonderful job hitting him in the head with the bludger. While he'd probably look fine in the morning, his head looked a little lopsided at the moment and horribly bruised. I nearly laughed but my attention was drawn towards Darla and her now inconsolable crying. Madame Pomphrey was shaking her head, looking at Darla with such sympathy, but said nothing as she shoo-ed me out of the hospital wing.

I was worried about Darla as I walked back to the common room. It just didn't seem normal for her to be in so much pain and to be so weak after what seemed like a common, normal girl thing. I never saw any other girls practically living in the hospital ward during their monthly, not even Darla's sister, but it wasn't like I was really going to walk around and ask girls about that. My mind immediately thought of Lily. I knew that if there was anyone other than Elena that I'd ask, she would be it.

"Hey, man. I came looking for you," Damon said as I entered the dormitory. I was already in the process of taking off my tie when I glanced at him, the boy lounging out on his bed with a book.

"I had to take Darla to the hospital ward," I said casually. Damon raised an eyebrow at me but didn't say anything. He didn't want to talk about it anymore than I wanted to.

"So, I figured out where Lily ended up going," Damon said rolling his eyes. I paused and waited for him to tell me but Damon was just grinning at me.

"So? Where'd she go?" I finally asked when I realized that he wasn't going to just tell me.

"She spent the whole time up in the hospital ward, hanging around her brother," Damon told me. "I ran into her on my way to nick some more butter beers from the kitchens."

"That must've been miserable," I said casually as I pulled my shirt free and started dressing in my favorite sleep shorts. "You couldn't pay me to hang out with a bunch of Gryffindors on purpose. Not for any length of time."

"Yeah, well she's related to a few of them, so maybe they're nicer to her?" Damon suggested. "Anyways, she felt bad about her brother's face. But don't worry, she told me she'd not hesitate to bust him in the head with a bludger again, if need be."

"Good to know," I said laughing.

"Hey, Score," Elena said as she walked in our room. Instinctively, I pulled my shirt to cover my chest.

"Hey!" I complained.

"Sorry, I should have knocked," Elena said laughing slightly. "Anyways, I wanted to let you know that Darla and I are leaving tonight for a few days. Our Great Aunt Penny died this evening and we have to go for the wake and what not."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Damon piped up as he offered her his arms. She rolled her eyes.

"It was Dragon Pox, and I'm not so upset about it," Elena confessed as she waved her hand around dismissively. "She was a mean old bag and no one liked her, not even her husband, Uncle NiCad. We just have to go for the funeral, since it was my mom's aunt and all."

"Oh, well, I hope you guys travel safe," I said.

"Thanks," Elena said. "Do you know where Darla is?"

"Hospital ward," I told her. Elena paused for a minute and groaned, rolling her eyes.

"I swear that sister of mine is such a hypochondriac," Elena said shaking her head. "Heaven forbid there is ever something actually wrong with her. She'd probably die."

"Probably," I laughed and Elena left, waving.

With no Darla around, I wandered around for a while that next day. I found myself outside of the library and without a second thought, I pushed through the door and took a glance around. I was getting ready to turn around and leave when I saw Lily sitting at a table all alone, a few pieces of parchment before her. She wasn't looking at her papers, instead she was staring off into space, a dazed look upon her face. I studied her a moment, her hair twisted around a pencil and pinned in her hair. A few strands looked as if they had escaped and had no intention on rejoining their auburn haired brothers.

"Hey, Lily," I called despite getting a dirty look from Madame Pince. I expected Lily to look up and shush me, or for her to smile, but Lily didn't look, lost in her thoughts. I walked closer, not saying anything. I stood next to her for a good minute, certain that she was going to acknowledge me in some way, but she was still staring off into space. I reached forward and touched her arm, causing her to jump. Her cheeks turned bright red and reflexively, she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"What are you so lost into thought with that you didn't hear me?" I asked with amusement. She blushed harder.

"Just reliving the glory of the game," Lily admitted with an embarrassed grin. I smiled, nodding. I had been prone to daydreaming in my early years of Quidditch, reliving exceptional games.

"That was a hell of a game. I have to say I'm proud of you," I said grinning. I was proud of her. I had doubted whether she really would be able to play rough against her family, and yet she seemed ready and willing to put her brother in his place during our first game against Gryffindor.

"I'm just one player," Lily reminded me modestly. "The win was all of us working together, well that and West keeping the Quaffle in his hands for a change."

"Too true," I laughed. It had been a team effort, and we all worked so well together on the team. Still, her modesty was surprising. Most Quidditch players were a little full of themselves, including me. Her ability to share the credit was refreshing in an innocent way.

"Where's Darla?" Lily wondered aloud. Reflexively, I made a face.

"Why do you always ask about her?" I asked in annoyance. Lily glanced at me, her eyes were wide with surprise.

"It's really more for me than for you," Lily admitted. I looked at her curiously but didn't reply. I wanted to ask her what she meant by that. I wondered why she needed to remind herself of Darla, but I couldn't bring myself to voice the words. It wouldn't make it any better to know what she was thinking, or how she felt about me. What would the point be to know that she felt the same for me as I felt for her. We looked at each other for a moment, and I knew without knowing. We couldn't speak of it, though, because we both knew that nothing could come of it.

"She's with her sister," I said after a minute more of silence between us. "Her Great Aunt Somebody or the other died of Dragon Pox."

"Oh, how awful," Lily shaking her head, "you'll give her my apologies?"

"Yes, of course," I promised. Madame Pince glared at me and I looked away, towards Lily, as I sat down next to her. I watched Lily a bit more, studying her face.

"Wow, Dragon Pox," Lily murmured as she bit her bottom lip in thought. The thought crossed my mind for a brief moment to help her with that but I forced it to the back of my mind. "I didn't think it was really that fatal."

"I don't know," I replied, pulled from my internal struggle. "I don't know how old the aunt was. Maybe age has something to do with it."

"I'm really sorry, Score," Lily said as she placed her hand on my shoulder. I could feel the slight weight and the immense warmth that radiated from her hand and I very nearly convulsed from it.

"Why are you apologizing to me?" I asked her uncertainly. I tried to smile but it was wrought with confusion and I heard Lily shy as she smiled at me, sympathy overflowing from her eyes.

"You've lost a part of your future family," Lily reminded me gently.

"Lils, I didn't know the lady and Darla and I aren't married yet," I reminded her in return. I took a deep breath and added unintentionally aloud, "Or ever if I could convince my grandfather." I paused, looking at Lily, uncertain as to what her reaction would be. She smiled ruefully.

"Good luck with that," Lily said with a laugh suppressed in her words. "Lucius isn't one that gets swayed easily."

"You're telling me," I agreed, nearly laughing myself. "If my grandmother and father would let him, he'd have me marked with that antiquated dark mark on my next birthday."

"No, really," Lily exclaimed quietly, not trying to draw the attention of Madame Pince to us. She looked at me with horror and slowly removed her hand from my shoulder.

"Yeah," I confirmed. Seeing her terrified face, I added quickly, "Hey, he's not going to. It's illegal now, you know, to brand groups. Plus I don't want him marring my forearm."

"Hmm," Lily said as she pushed back the sleeve to my shirt. I held my breath as she rand her finger along the skin of my forearm, right where a dark mar would have been burned, had my grandfather had his way. The twist behind my navel was intense, the clamp of wanton desire warning the rest of me that there would be no resolve it the assault continued. She breathed quietly, "It is a nice forearm." I couldn't control the intense shudder that rippled through me, nor the need she was waking with in me. I laughed it off, her approval of my body, and I brushed her finger from my arm quickly before I pulled her into my lap or pinned her to the library table in front of all those students and Madame Pince.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I asked quickly, needing to put a little distance between us or to get some fresh air. My craving for her continued to burn, the ache peaking uncomfortably as I denied it. Lily looked down at the partially written paper before her.

"I really should work on this essay," Lily said slowly as she looked at me. I gave her one of my most pleading looks, not wanting to be apart from her but not certain that I could maintain my distance much longer. I leaned forward fighting the urge to kiss her as my resolve crumbled around me.

"C'mon Lily," I whispered. My mouth inched closer to hers and I had to force myself to whisper in her ear to keep from kissing her. "I won't bite."

"I think that your biting me is the least of my worries," Lily teased me in an almost breathless way. She was better at it than I was: the control. I could see the darkening desire in her eyes, even if she would deny it. Lily took a breath and nodded, shoving her belonging in her bag quickly, eagerly.

"Did you write Taryn of your success?" I asked quickly. I didn't want to talk about Taryn, or to remind Lily of Taryn, but I had to. As Lily had to ask about Darla for her own well being, to remind Lily that I was not available, so did I of Taryn. Lily and I could never be, no matter how much we seemed drawn to each other. I sighed in a painful relief as Lily stood, nodding. I was already on my feet.

"You know, I wish you weren't so much taller than me," Lily said changing the subject, leading away from the subject of her boyfriend. My momentary distraction had cleared my head just enough to regain breathing for the moment. "You're going to give me a crick in the neck from looking up at you."

"Awe, you look up to me?" I teased as I slouched down to be more her height. It bothered my shoulders and back to be scrunched up like that. "Is this better?"

"Stop," Lily laughed as she hit my shoulder playfully. I started to right myself almost immediately, the position not comfortable. "That's terrible for your posture."

"Whew, good, because it was so uncomfortable," I admitted as the two of us headed out of the library. Lily laughed at me and we headed toward the common room so that she could drop off her bag. She grabbed her sweater, surprisingly, and the two of us headed out onto the grounds.

"Feels like it's going to be a hard winter," Lily said as she pulled her sweater tighter around her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, to hold her. I wanted to draw her up in my arms and crush my mouth against her until she was breathless. I nearly stopped at the rapid path of my thoughts. So much for the fresh air clearing my head. "Here we are on the cusp of October and the leaves are already changing and there is chill in the air."

"Better?" I said stiffly as I half-heartedly tossed one of my arms over her shoulders, knowing that it was all I could do without completely crossing a line that neither she nor I needed me to cross. I was the older student, I had to be in control.

"Y-yeah," Lily stuttered and I peeked down at her curiously.

"I wish things were different," I admitted without thought. I hesitated, regretting that I had let it slip.

"Yeah," Lily said to my surprise, the same remorse echoing in her own voice. My heart began to race at the thought that maybe she felt the same about me, again. Just maybe things were back to the way they had been before this mess got out, before Lily started dating Taryn and before she found out about Darla. I glanced around to see that we were fairly hidden from the school, and without thinking, I pulled Lily into my arms. I expected her to fight back, to resist me, but she surprised me by resting her head on my shoulder. How perfectly she fit there, her cheek against my heart. I wondered if she could hear the rapid tempo in which it was pounding out, the thumping confession of my love for her, Lily Potter. She looked up at me, her eyes were filled with curious caution and knowing, and my fingers touched her cheek so gently I had to really focus to figure out that I had reached out and touched her. Her skin was incredibly soft, warm, despite the chilly air.

"You know, I love you," I confessed quietly as if I didn't want anyone to hear, including her, even though we were utterly alone at the moment. "I hate that I do, because I can't be with you, but I love you."

"Scorpius," Lily protested. I touched her lips gently with my finger, hushing her, as I ignored the intense desire to replace my fingers against her lips with my own lips, to part them, to taste her.

"Shh," I breathed, barely hanging on to my sanity. "Give me this moment, please. For this moment let's just pretended that nothing is standing in our way. There are no boyfriends, no girlfriends. Just let's pretend that it's just you and me."

"I want to," Lily said as her own resolve was slipping away and I nodded, almost encouraged. I bit my lip hard, trying to hold back, but lost and I leaned my face into hers, my lips parted in anticipation, as if I had no control over myself any longer. It was Lily who had to be the voice of reason, the one to keep us sane, as she turned her head and continued in a strained voice, "I just can't."

"I… I understand," I breathed after my mind caught up with what my body had intended. Sensibility flooded me as heat rose to my cheeks. I immediately released her, though reluctantly. "I'm sorry, Lily. I shouldn't have even suggested it."

"It's ok," Lily said distantly. She wasn't looking at me, instead she focused on the sky. "We should head back. It's nearly dinner time."

"Yeah," I said in disappointment, not for the situation but for my lack of control.

"I'm sorry," Lily apologized looking up at me. She forced a smile, as if through it she was forgiving me. I felt horrible. "You know I'd be more than happy to have you be my first real kiss, but I can't cheat on Taryn. Plus, you have Darla and this wouldn't be fair to either of them."

"You're right, Lils," I agreed though inside I hated them and myself and the cosmos. I quickly kissed Lily's cheek, figuring I was damned anyways. I didn't look at her, not wanting to see her response, and instead, I suggested dinner. "Let's go to dinner."

I sat the whole night, thinking and beating myself up inside, first about the fact that I had gone so far as making Lily feel bad about turning me down then about the fact that I wanted nothing more than to be her first real kiss. I had kissed plenty of girls, plenty of times, and I had Darla to kiss, but something about Lily's never having had a kiss, a real kiss, called to me like nothing I had ever felt before. I watched her eating, watched her talking. Her mouth called to me, beaconing for me to close the gap between us. Hurriedly, I shoved the last of my food in my mouth and fled the table, unable to stop myself. If I had waited a moment more, I realized as I pushed through the great hall doors, I would never have been able to stop myself from kissing Lily Potter right there and then.

Much like her second year, one of us avoided the other like the plague, only this time, I avoided her without a word or reason. I would catch her eye across the room, the look of confusion and hurt on her face, and I would run off to take extra patrols or spend time alone with Darla. Darla was confused about the sudden change in my attention, though she reveled in it. During practices, I stayed a step ahead of Lily, and was surprised that she was giving me my space, something I didn't have the decency to do for her. It made me feel even guiltier. She was a far better friend to me than I had been to her.

I had to force myself not to run from her when I saw Lily heading my way on the morning of the Slytherin-Ravenclaw Quidditch game. Instead, I held the door open while I continued to talk to Damon. She glanced at me wordlessly and headed to her locker, starting to suit up for the game. I watched her while she pulled her clothes free of her body, her under Quidditch garments hugging her body. I couldn't tear my eyes away, but I was happy that no one seemed to take any notice of me.

"Alright, everyone, line up, let's kill these Ravenclaw losers," Flint barked. I snickered as I queued up behind Lily. I could smell her shampoo as she pulled her hair up in a pony tail. Damon was standing in front of her and I leaned forward, my mouth down by her ear. I heard her inhale sharply.

"My first goal is for you," I whispered so that only she could hear. She turned to say something to me but we were all ushered out into the pitch to play. The air hit us much like a brick of ice. We took to the air, the wind stinging our eyes, abasing our cheeks. It was harsh out there in the air, the Quaffle felt like a block of ice as it slapped in my hand. I struggled to keep my broom on course as I flew up to the goal post to pass it through the hoop.

Professor Wood blew his whistle, signaling the end of the game and I glanced at the score board, groaning. We had lost by ten points, and I immediately glared at Nice for a moment before I landed on the nearly frozen ground beside Lily. Lily looked disappointed but she patted my shoulder none the less in a reassuring manner. I turned to grin at her but it happened so fast. One minute, she was standing next to me consoling me, the next a bludger came out of nowhere, connecting hard with the side of her face, full on. I grabbed for her as her legs buckled for a moment. I was so certain that she was going to pass out.

She was tougher than I gave her credit for and she regained her balance. Lily jerked out of my arms and tore down the field faster than I had ever seen an injured person run, chasing the Ravenclaw beater, Rhett Brookes. I ran after her but Lily made it to the beater first and had knocked him to the ground, her tiny fists clenched as she pounded into him.

"Lily! Stop!" I yelled as Lily continued to wail into the boy, his arms up to protect him. I grabbed Lily by the back of her robes, jerking her up off of the beater that she had expertly pinned to the ground. She was as light as I assumed that she would be, but she struggled against my grip, trying to get back to hitting the boy.

"He knew that the game was over!" Lily shouted as she twisted and lunged, trying to continue the working over she was dealing the boy. I looked down at the fourth year beater who was sobbing on the ground, his front two teeth missing and his face covered in blood. Professor Wood had appeared out of nowhere, his wand in his hand, as he looked at the beater. Giving the ok, he sent the beater to the hospital ward.

"She'll grow your teeth back, son," Wood called to the boy who was now weeping. He turned and looked at Lily. "Let's see what we've got here."

"Brookes hit her with a bludger well after the call of the win," I explained as Professor Wood tilted Lily's face to get a better look at it. I looked, too, to see the damage. Her cheek was already dark purple, the front of her robes were covered in her own blood.

"Maybe you should go get checked out by Madame Pomphrey," Professor Wood said cringing. "Faces aren't meant to stop bludgers."

"I'll be ok," Lily protested. I snorted at her bull-headedness and knew that she wasn't fine. Her face was swollen and it looked like it had to hurt. I could only imagine how bad it would look in good lighting as icy raindrops began to pelt at us from the sky.

"Take Potter up there, Malfoy," Flint said to me before he turned to Lily. "Malfoy's going to stay with you to make sure you actually go and get honest treatment. Great left hook, by the way." I led the way, staying only half a step in front of Lily, listening for her to try and escape.

"I can't believe I hit him," Lily said in an awe-filled voice as we walked back to the castle. I glanced back at her to see Lily examining her fist, scrapes and abrasions crisscrossing the delicate cream colored skin from where she exacted her revenge on Brookes.

"I can't believe we didn't get to him first," I admitted. Once inside the castle, I turned to her and got a good at Lily's face. I touched her chin tenderly, turning her face toward the torch to get a better look at the damage that the bludger created. I couldn't help but cringe. It looked like it hurt like hell and her cheek was nearly black it was so bruised. "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah," Lily said as she reached up and touched her bruised cheek with her finger. She cringed under her own touch, so I didn't dare.

"I bet," I said. I hesitated a moment before I dropped my hand from under her chin. "I'm surprised you didn't cry, to be honest."

"I did, you just didn't see me," Lily admitted as she forced a grin. She wiped her bruise-free cheek and held up two fingers, something invisible glistening. "I have two older brothers and older cousins. I am the baby. You just don't let them see you cry."

"Awe," I said tenderly as I put my arm around her shoulder, jostling her gently. "I wouldn't have made fun of you. Maybe brushed away your tears and… well… we'll just leave it at that."

"Yeah, probably for the best," Lily said smirking as she looked up at me. I guess her attempt at the smirk hurt more than she let on, but still she cringed slightly despite her obvious attempt to look brave in front of me. We continued to the hospital ward, Madame Pomphrey looking up as we walked in. She shook her head and made a sound of displeased contempt.

"Sit here and change…" Madame Pomphrey said directing Lily to one of the curtained hospital vestibules. Lily grinned at me sheepishly, following it up with a cringe.

"I don't think you want to stick around for the end part of this undressing," Lily said blushing slightly, at least from what I could tell from her non-bruised side. My heart started racing and I stepped out of the area, turning my back to the small enclosure despite there being a perfectly proper barrier up. Madame Pomphrey remained behind the screen, doing whatever it was that she was doing.

"You can go back in, she's decent," Madame Pomphrey said as she nodded toward the bed as she pulled back the privacy curtains. I nodded once and headed in. Lily looked so frail laying on the bed, the bruising already looked like it was fading slightly.

"So, I hope you don't mind," Lily said as I slipped my hand into her hand and stood beside her sickbed. "I volunteered you to sit with me while the skele-patch fixes the fractures in my skull. Apparently that Ravenclaw idiot cracked my head and now I'm not allowed to go to sleep until it's been six hours."

"I don't mind," I promised with a smile as I took a seat, knowing that I'd have sat by her bedside for a lifetime if she had asked.

I dropped her hand as James Potter entered the hospital ward with his cousin, Hugo. He glared at me but neither of us acknowledged each other as he checked her over. Before long, the tiny space was full of Slytherin teammates and the two Gryffindor players. Tensions ran high and I nearly laughed as Madame Pomphrey kicked them all out. James glared back at me as he pushed through the door and I smirked at him in response.

Dinner was brought up to us by a crazy little house elf. I ate silently and kept my eyes on Lily as she ate. Every once in a while, she would grimace or frown, though I wasn't sure if she was aware of it. Over all, her bruising had healed and she was nearly back to normal.

"Are you ok?" I asked as I looked at her again from over the tray I was eating. She had made a face again.

"I think I must have bit my lip," Lily said touching her mouth. I watched as she pulled her fingers away to see a faint pinkish red tint glinting off the light.

"Looks like it," I said quietly as I fished an ice cube out of the bucket of ice nearby. I wrapped it in my napkin and held it out to her. Her fingers brushed mine as she took it, electricity jolting awake my senses. "Hold this to your lip for a second or two. It should take the sting off of it."

"Thanks," Lily said after a few minutes. "That feels much better."

"Done here?" I asked as I reached for her tray, needing a distraction. She nodded once and I set them together with a few other trays that had been stacked up for other random sick people. I went to sit back down but Madame Pomphrey reentered, her robe tied around her night gown and her hair up in rollers. She checked Lily over quickly.

"Your temperature looks good and it's nearly been six hours," she said. "I think you'd be safe to sleep in your own bed tonight."

"Good," Lily said.

"Get dressed and I'll send you with a night pass," Madame Pomphrey said as she turned her back on Lily to get the pass. Lily went to stand and she swayed a second. I grabbed her around the waist, pinning her against the bed for a moment. My body burned with excitement at the thought that only the thin night gown and my Quidditch robes lay between us. She looked up at me in surprise, and there was something else in her eyes, something I didn't understand.

"Do you really think you're ready?" I forced myself to ask her as I remained against her. She nodded once, swallowing.

"Don't be silly," Lily breathed. "It was just a momentary sway. I'll be ok." I reluctantly pulled away from her and headed out of the curtained area, allowing her to dress while I got our pass. We left the hospital ward, slowly, walking along the empty corridors, not talking. Our hands kept bumping. I glanced down at her as she looked up at me, hesitation in her eyes. I stopped walking, uncertain. We both blushed. I didn't know what it meant, what she was trying to tell me with her body language and her eyes.

I held my breath as Lily bit her lip, looking up at me almost expectantly. She took a hesitant step closer, and it was all I needed, all the permission I would ever have needed. I snatched Lily's hand up and practically dragged her up the stairs of the astronomy tower. I expected her to resist, but she seemed just as eager to get up those stairs as I was. I dropped her hand and shoved the doors open to the exterior observatory, not caring if the sound woke the castle. All rational thought had left my mind.

The grounds lay before us, spanning for acres, cast in a silvery moonlight of the crescent moon. I watched carefully as Lily placed her hands on the rail, her head tilted up to look at the moon smiling at her among the millions of twinkling stars. The air was cool, not quite as bitter and biting as before, the storm seemed to have passed and left behind cool, fresh air. I stepped forward, cautious, and slipped my arms around her, Lily's back to me. She twisted around in my arms, her back turned to the grounds. I felt bold, careless all of a sudden. I wanted her. I needed her. I needed her like I have never needed another person in my entire life.

"Tonight, let's just pretend," I breathed, urging her to let loose the control and the things that held her back, us back. Lily closed her eyes and did not speak, and for a brief moment, I thought that I had finally crossed a line that I was not meant to cross. Instead, she tilted her head back, mouth slightly parted and welcoming, my silent answer. I lowered my mouth, closing the distance between us swiftly. I took things slow, made a conscious effort to be gently, despite the urge to roughly pin her to everything solid and kiss her so passionately that she would forget her name.

I slipped my hands to her face, buried my fingers in her hair. Our bodies clung to each other, like polar opposite magnets. We couldn't have pulled apart if we had wanted to. I felt her hands knotting in my own hair, her tongue danced with mine, shyly at first and then when more confidence as I guess she realized that she was good at this. I nearly smiled at the thought, despite her first kiss, she was good at kissing. I felt the urge to push this kiss further, to continue forward, but I struggled against that beast within me, though my resolve was weakening with every gentle whimper. I thrilled in the thought. I was Lily's first real kiss.