A/N: Thank you those of you who are reading and reviewing. While this story will probably not have the popularity that SLP had, I am glad to see the names of people who are following it. It makes me happy. The next chapter will probably be a while since I am leaving for Texas in a few days and will have to kind of find a place to live there and what not… (joy oh joy). - Written before I left for Texas. Woo, I am in Texas, and yeah, house hunting (and living with four kids in a hotel room, always fun), but I am working (on my writing) so it does make things better.
Disc.: Borrowing characters for my own twisted devices.
Christmas the Fifth
I stretched as I woke that next morning, vaguely aware of the actual day. The light that filtered in through the window of Albus' room was gray, almost hesitant to wake as I was. Cold air touched my face, causing goose bumps on my arms as I pulled free of the covers. I listened for a moment, testing the sounds of the morning for life elsewhere in the house. All was still for the most part and I pulled my jeans and a sweater on, heading toward the bathroom to take care of business.
"Asher, no," I heard Lily mumble in her sleep. I glanced over to see the door ajar and blushed slightly, realizing that I had left the door open slightly while I relieved myself. That could have been potentially embarrassing.
"Lily, you up?" I asked her as I pushed open her bedroom door. She was curled up in her bed, totally encased in her blanket. Her eyes were closed tightly and she didn't look thrilled about her cat walking up and down her body, kneading her through the blanket. Lily didn't have an opportunity to respond to me. James and Albus burst into the room loudly. Asher took a swipe at them, a hiss hung in the air.
"CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS!" Albus shouted jumping onto Lily's bed. He turned to me with a devilish look in his eyes. "Come on, Scorpius. Help hold her down so I can tickle her." I laughed and rushed the bed with every intent on holding her down. I didn't second guess whether she'd be ok with it. Her skin felt cool in my hands, smooth.
"NO!" Lily cried as my hands pinned her down. She laughed and struggled against me, holding her while James as Albus tickled her roughly. "Stop! I hate it!"
"Say I'm the greatest," Albus taunted as she laughed hard. We were all laughing pretty hard, her body still twisting under my restraint.
"I'm the greatest," Lily gasped with laughter. It was too much and we laughed harder. I released her.
"That's not what I meant," Albus said as Lily sprung on him, pinning him down on her own and tickling him. James laughed and was pounced on by Lily next. He tried to struggle away, but Lily managed to get a few tickles in before he over powered her and pulled free. I knew what was coming and I was already backing away when Lily looked at me, an evil glint in her eyes. I raised my hands in surrender, hoping to dissuade her from coming after me.
"Lily… get that look out of your eyes," I warned her as I increased the speed in which I backed through the bathroom. I saw her spring, poised to attack, and I took off running from her. She sprung on me as I turned, the two of us tumbling against Albus' bed. Her knees were on either side of my hips, her fingers touched my skin under my sweater as she tickled. I laughed, fighting the other sensations that were building deep within me.
"I got you," she laughed as she tickled me, her laughter light as her finger tips as the moved against my skin. I laughed, but the laughter was more to remind myself that this was tickling, nothing more. No matter how it felt, she was tickling me and nothing more. I was losing that argument and I twisted away easily, out from under her. She flung herself back against the bed, looking up at the ceiling like I was. I was grateful that she wasn't looking at me, certain that my body would betray how I felt. She was breathless, laughing, and I glanced at her when I was finally almost certain that I was in control of my body.
"Yeah, you think you're so great because you run fast," I teased her careful to make my voice light. Lily stuck her tongue out at me and jumped up off the bed. I sat up, watching her cautiously aware that it wouldn't take much to crumble the resolve that I had around me.
"Come on, Score, let's go see what Santa brought us," Lily teased back winking at me as she offered her hand. I hesitated, not certain that I could restrain from doing anything stupid. I took her offered hand and she smiled at me warmly. James pushed the door open to the room and grinned at us. I looked at him curiously, not certain as to why he was grinning.
"Ooh… holding hands," James teased, his arms crossed against his chest. I immediately dropped Lily's hand as if it was on fire and stepped away from her. My face felt like it was on fire. Lily made a face at her brother, ignoring me, and started towards the exit door.
"Let's go see if Mum and Dad are up," Lily said heading out the door into the hall. Harry and Ginny looked at all of us, smiling sleepily as we all hit the hallway at once.
"Happy Christmas, kids," Harry said as the we joined them and headed down the stairs. I glanced to see the Potter's tree surrounded by shiny wrapped packages. I couldn't help but feel the excitement that seemed to radiate from James, Albus, and Lily. "You guys are looking better, indeed. Less spotty."
"Not itchy," Albus said holding up his arms. I laughed, my own spots were nearly gone too.
"Good," Ginny said grinning sleepily passed us to pour herself a cup of too strong coffee. "We're still going to have to pass on going to Grandma Weasley's house though. She said she'd floo over here with dinner for us and the others, but yeah. With Grandpa Weasley feeling under the weather, she really isn't up to having a house full."
"But she sent presents," Harry said as he nodded toward the tree. We eyed the tree together collectively. "For all of you." Jams, Albus, and Lily immediately rushed towards the tree; I followed more reluctantly. I didn't know how to handle large family Christmases like this. Every year, there were presents under my very own little Christmas tree. I wasn't sure how I felt about the situation. I sat near the sofa in their living room, a little bit back as Harry handed each a gift. Lily took the seat near me, perched on the sofa. I felt the light weight of her hand on my shoulder, her mouth lowered to my ear.
"Pretend to be excited when my grandmother gets here," Lily breathed quickly. Her breath was warm, tantalizingly sweet, and it tickled me deep to my core. "She always makes us these sweaters and she likes to see us get excited about them."
"I will," I promised as I turned to face her. Our faces were unnaturally close and I could feel the temptation welling up inside me, threatening to break free again. I swallowed nervously as she grinned. Her cheeks had taken on a hint of a blush, a stain of embarrassed rosiness, and she sat back against the sofa, poised to unwrap her gifts. She got the standard fare, games, clothes, books, and whatever. Half of it looked muggle in origin. Harry caught my attention, holding out a box to me. I had a few opened gifts, randomness that supposedly showed that people really cared for me. I glanced down at the unfamiliar handwriting, seeing my name and Grandma Weasley was a little unnerving. I looked up at Lily briefly, smiling, and I winked at her as I moved to open the box.
"Mother Weasley hand makes the sweaters," Ginny told me as I admired the intensely green colored sweater, a silver thread serpent woven in it. It was amazing.
"Wow," I breathed as fingers traced the ornate design.
"She always did give non family members the better ones," Ginny teased as she saw the sweater. "Remember the one she made you Harry?"
"That I do," Harry chuckled.
"It's really great," I said truthfully. No one had ever made me anything before, and certainly never a sweater. It was amazing. Eagerly, I jerked off my own sweater, ignoring the fact that I only wore a skin tight white shirt underneath. I pulled the sweater on, amazed at the perfect fit of it. I looked at Lily, ignoring the way my hair fell into my face from the sweater. She was sitting there, her own sweater in her hand. "How does it look?"
"Uh…" Lily said staring. I had rendered Lily speechless and I grinned at the knowledge.
"Dashing, Scorpius. I swear she really goes all out for these things sometimes," Ginny said quickly grinning at me and I wondered if she was trying to spare Lily's feelings, the way that she seemed to jump in to save Lily from having to respond. "Kids, why don't you carry your stuff upstairs before Rose and Hugo get here for brunch."
"Ok, Mum," the boys said. Lily looked away quickly, gathering her presents and heading up to her room. I gathered mine and followed suite, leaving them on the bed. I reached under my pillow, the paper still perfect despite sleeping with the box under my pillow. It hadn't been uncomfortable like I had assumed that it would have been.
I took a few deep, steadying breaths. Her reaction would make or break me. I already knew this. I could feel my anxiety building in me and I closed my eyes. For a brief moment, I could feel someone beside me and I was afraid to open my eyes. I took another deep breath, a familiar friendly scent surrounding me, my mind suddenly went to thoughts of Darla, and I could feel the pressure of someone's hands on the small of my back, pushing me forward in encouragement. I took one final deep breath, opened my eyes, and crossed through the bathroom. I didn't hesitate at the door, instead I knocked and pushed the door open, my eyes landing on Lily.
She was standing with her back to me, facing her reflection in the mirror. Her expression looked slightly bewildered and a bit uncertain, as if she was experiencing something that not only confused her but tempted her in ways that I could only hope to one day tempt her. She was biting her bottom lip, practically chewing it, as she studied her expression. I hesitated.
"Are you ok?" I asked quietly as I looked at her. Lily looked at me in the reflection of the mirror and smiled slightly. Her face still held some of the confusion behind her smile.
"Yes," she said. She turned, crossing her arms as she looked at me. She suppressed her confusion and instead smiled at me broadly. "The sweater looks really good on you. She really out did herself."
"Your grandmother has talent. Mine wouldn't know what to wear if it weren't for shops and such," I joked as I walked towards her. Her smile faded for a moment and I hesitated, but the sensation of someone invisibly pushing me from behind propelled me forward and Lily half smiled and uncrossed her arms. She reached out and touched the silver threading of my sweater, her fingers hesitating as she caressed the design firmly. I suppressed the shiver that craved to shudder through me.
"She really did a wonderful job," Lily murmured. I laughed lightly and looked at the two of us in the mirror. I hesitated, looking at my hair.
"Wow, I really messed up my hair, didn't I?" I commented, trying to not focus on her too much. I wasn't sure that I could look at her for too long without losing my nerve, or control. Lily turned towards me, my eyes flickering to hers then back to the mirror. Lily looked up at my hair almost shyly then at she met my eyes in the mirror. She shook her head, though, and I wondered what it was all about.
"I like it. Kind of dangerous and reckless, in a tousled sort of way," Lily grinned as she looked away for a moment. I caught her eye in the mirror, her deep pools of blue almost drowning me, and I raised my eyebrow just like my father does. She laughed lightly at me, her hand remaining warm and small on my chest. "Trust me."
"I do," I breathed. I blushed at how soft and throaty I sounded, despite myself. I felt myself clearing my throat nervously. My stomach twisted with a mix of torment and excitement. Lily's eyes left mine and rested on her hand, still on my chest. She jerked her hand away, and her cheeks turned bright red.
"Sorry," she mumbled as she stepped away from me. I was grateful for the distance, a chance to collect my thoughts. I again felt the sensation of warmth, not in my back like before, not pushing me forward towards Lily, but in my hand and my eyes landed on the silver package I was still holding out of site.
"Here," I said quickly thrusting a small silver wrapped gift into her hand. It wasn't exactly the smoothest delivery I had planned, but I supposed it worked. "I didn't want to give it to you in front of your family in case you didn't like it."
"Oh, Score, you didn't have to get me anything," Lily said frowning at the package. Her words were so soft and she was already frowning, I knew it wasn't a good sign. Her delicate little fingers traced the loop on one side of the bow and I half expected her to toss the gift aside. My heart thundered in my chest. "I didn't get you anything."
"I don't care," I said genuinely as I forced a smile. I leaned against her bed, nearly sitting on it while trying to keep it light. I didn't want her tossing the gift back at me. It would have killed me. I winked at her, but she didn't see it, her eyes still on the box almost bewildered. I pressed, "Open it."
"Um, ok," Lily said shrugging and her casualness of it scraped at my insides. I was tempted to take it back, to tell her I made a mistake. I reached for it but I felt as if someone was holding my arms to me, unable to retrieve the gift. Instead, my eyes were focused on her, her nimble fingers loosening the bow. Almost as if in slow motion, the ribbon fell away from the package and slid through her finger like water. She didn't move to pick it up, and neither did I. I didn't move at all, holding my breath as she cautiously removed the tape. She stared at the wooden box for a moment before she looked at me. She was biting her lip, questions in her eyes, and I could hear my heart thundering in my chest. I couldn't speak so I nodded to her, urging her to continue. She seemed to understand what I was trying to convey because she opened the hinged box silent and look inside. Carefully, she dipped her hand into the box and pulled the chain slowly, painstakingly slow, from the box. Between us, the oval pendant dangled. Our eyes were both locked on it, as if it had hypnotized us. I swallowed.
"It's a locket," I told her. My voice came out low, almost hoarse, as if I hadn't spoken in a thousand years. She looked up at me, and damn if she was unreadable.
"A locket?" she asked me slowly. I managed a smile, taking the necklace from her. I slid my finger carefully along the side much as Mistress Penny had done all those years ago to show me the secret of the locket. It, as it had when I was a child, slowly opened and filled the room with the faint music. Lily looked at me in surprise. Her eyes widened and she stared at the pendant with wonder.
"It's a locket with a hidden music box inside," I explained. I looked at Lily, her expression frozen on her face. I snapped it close in my hand swiftly, the echo of the clicking, securing mechanism spanning between us. Her face remained the same. I felt my heart squeeze uncomfortably, and not in the way it usually did. It was rejection, a sour twisting rejection that made me want to run and flee. I forced myself to breath and I replied to her silence in strangled words. "You don't like it, do you?"
"I love it," she said in a breathless sort of way after shaking her head. "I just don't think I've ever had a gift so perfect for me." Her words sent my heart soaring. Until that moment, I never realized how much Lily's approval really meant to me. I was excited, unable to force my grin into submission.
"Let me help you put it on," I said eagerly as I held the chain in my hand. She was looking at me in the mirror now, turning her back to me so that I could more easily affix it. I unhooked the clasp and encircled her with it. Without meaning to, my fingers caressed her neck as I latched it again and I pulled my hands away, the chain resting on her slender neck. I was tempted to kiss where the clasp touched but Lily turned too quickly and threw her arms around me, hugging me. Her body was so warm pressed up against mine that I nearly stumbled and fell.
"I love it, Score. Thank you so much," she breathed excitedly in my ear. I couldn't respond with more than a quiet groan, my body threatening to show Lily how much I desired for her to be pressed against me so willingly. She pulled back a bit to look me in the eyes.
"I'm glad you like it," I said quietly as I looked at the conflicting emotions playing out in her expansive blue orbs.
"Now I feel bad that I didn't get you anything," Lily said to me as she pulled away. Her fingers automatically went to the locket, toying with it, and I wondered how much of that would remain once she got used to the weight of it. She looked at the necklace and pendant in the mirror, watching herself distractedly as she played with the locket.
"Don't," I told her. She was biting her bottom lip and seemed totally focused on her reflection. I wondered what she would say if I told her how much that simple action drove me mad with lust and longing. I blushed at the thought.
"Kids! Rose and Hugo are here!" Harry called from downstairs. Lily looked at me, conflict again in her eyes. I picked her sweater off the bed and held it out to her.
"You'd better get your sweater on," I said smiling at her lightly. Lily was still playing with the locket around her neck, her free hand stretched out for her sweater. In one beat of my heart, Lily was in my arms, her mouth crashing down on mine. It took all of my strength to turn my head and not pin her between me and her mattress. I was treading on very dangerous grounds, the amount of my desire for Lily and the knowledge that the timing wasn't the best. I pulled back from her and smiled lightly, trying to keep the edge of lust out of my voice. "No need to go soft on me Lils. It's not that big of a deal."
"Oh," Lily said slightly dejected. I swore silently at myself as she pulled her sweater on over her head. I hadn't meant to reject her and I feared that was exactly as she had taken it. It killed me inside, not knowing what I wanted, to what degree. I stepped closer to her for a moment, despite my shaky resolve, and I lowered my mouth to her ear to whisper. I fought my urge to kiss her neck or bury my face in her hair, instead I just spoke, trying to keep my voice even.
"Don't get me wrong, Lils," I said in a breathy sort of way in her ear. I kicked my internal self for not being more in control of my lust. "It's not that I don't want to kiss you. I do more than I could ever tell you, but don't feel obligated to kiss me because I gave you a little present."
"I… ok," Lily said frowning slightly. I kissed her cheek and pulled away, unable to concentrate on much more than not attacking her, not taking her there. I struggled for a moment, trying to keep my resolve.
"Let's go eat brunch," I recommended. I had no other choice. If I had remained, I couldn't be held responsible for my actions. I nearly sprinted from the room, afraid of what would happen if I was alone with Lily Potter for one more moment. I wanted her, truly wanted her, in ways I had never wanted a girl before. It was frightening and intoxicating. I felt the warmth of hands trying to pull me back and I wondered if Darla was trying to keep up with her promise, as she had, from the grave. The thought sent chills through me and I darted into the kitchen to greet the others.
I tried my hardest to keep my eyes to myself, but every time I looked up, Lily was looking at me, her face would light up, heat rising to our cheeks. Either she or I would look away quickly once caught, round and round we went in a vicious cycle that boiled my blood and made me crave things I didn't quite understand. I wanted her, to be with her, like no other person I have ever been near in my life. I was so certain that every person in there could look at my face and see the welcomed torment with in me.
While the girls cleaned up, James, Albus, Hugo, and I tried to play a few of James and Albus' new video games but the thick white snow called to us, begged for us to make snowmen and to have snowball fights. We fought it, fat and warm from our large brunch, but the snow continued to beckon to us, urging us until it was undeniable, unavoidable.
"We should go see if the girls want to go play in the snow with us," James said as he held up his controller in utter victory. I silently swore as my character lay dead in a pool of it's own blood.
"You just want to quit while your ahead," I challenged but tossed the controller down. James laughed and lead the way out the room, Hugo and Albus' heads together plotting.
"Let's go play in the snow," James said to the girls as we entered the room. I glanced at him and nearly laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows at them. "All bets off."
"Sounds like a threat there, Potter," Rose taunted as she reached for her coat. James was already there, snatching his gear off the hooks. Hugo and Albus had already pushed their way through their older siblings, leaving the rest of us behind as they headed out.
"Indeed it does, Speckles," James tease tweaking his cousin's nose. The two of them didn't bother pulling on their coats first, just grabbed them as they ran out the door. I could see Albus and Hugo already creating a snow fort and building up their arsenal of snowballs. I watched Lily for a moment, trailing behind the others as she reached to take her coat off the hook. I had grabbed mine from where I had left it draped over a chair the last time I had gone to cut wood. Lily slowly walked to the hook, reaching to take her coat off the hook when I stepped up beside her, straightening my own warm coat around me. I began to pull free my scarf, knowing that she had already replaced hers a few times from before. I wound it around her neck, grinning.
"I'd hate to think you cold out there," I told her quietly. Lily blushed and nodded.
"And you?" she replied. I watched curiously as her fingers trembled as they worked the buttons. I grinned at the thought that maybe I was having the same effect on her that she was having on me.
"I'm covered," I promised her as I pulled a little of the delicate green and silver fabric of a female Slytherin scarf. Her eyes went to it immediately and widened with the knowledge that I had her scarf after all.
"Mine?" she breathed, her words sending shivers down my spine. Her face lit up brightly and a smile played on my lips playfully. "I knew you had my scarf!"
"Shh!" I whispered lightly as I pressed my finger to her lips. They felt so soft, so tempting and with them parted slightly, I could feel her breath on me, teasing me, taunting me. I grinned, trying defuse the conflict rearing up inside me. "You think you'd be better at being quiet, yet you never can hush for a second."
"So, are you going to explain?" she asked me with a knowing smile on her face.
"I guess Ash took it," I lied lightly, shrugging. Lily rolled her eyes, not believing me for a second. Hell, I didn't believe me, either. I leaned forward, about to kiss her and decided that I better not tempt myself so readily. I pulled her hat down over her eyes, laughing. Before she could recover, I was already sprinting out the door, half in jest, half in need to put some distance between us before I really lost control. Even reminding myself the my betrothed had just died, or that Lily was just thirteen helped quell the desire that pent up so uncomfortably inside of me. I heard her laughter in persuit of me, and I tried to run faster, vaguely aware of something trying to hold me back, pull me back. I groaned slightly at the thought that if Darla had turned into a ghost and was haunting me, it was going to be very uncomfortable. Out of not where, a ice cold snowball collided with the back of my head. I continued to run, scooping up snow as I did. I flung it blindly behind me, vaguely aware that it had fallen apart well before I hit her.
"Come back here and face me like a man, Scorpius Malfoy," Lily taunted me as I ducked behind the shed. I pulled up short, just around the edge and waited for her. She ran by me, not realizing that I was waiting and she squealed as I put my arm out, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her into my arms. That last part was accidental.
"Thought you'd catch me, eh? And here I caught you," I taunted her, my mouth near her ear. She pulled back slowly, laughing, but with a glint of trouble in her eyes. She glanced to the snowball in her hand, my eyes following. I looked at her almost pleadingly. "No, Lils, please."
"Oh," Lily said grinning as she shook her head and crushed the snowball on my head, the snow slipping down between my collar and neck. I laughed as she pulled free of my arms and ran off, ducking behind the rubbish bins. I ran after her, trying to find her and managed to run straight through the snow ball fight of Rose and James versus Hugo and Albus. I dove to the ground, barely missing being onslaught of snowballs. From where I was crouching, I saw Lily running off in the opposite direction. I scrambled up out of the snow and took off after her. I reached for her, tripping over a snow covered item and fell into Lily. Luckily, a soft snow drift caught us and she was laughing. Playing off my fall, I laughed.
"I told you, I'd catch you again," I teased her as I had her pinned to the snow. Reaching beside her, I scoop up a handful of snow. Her eyes glanced at the loose grip of snow and she shook her head.
"Score, wait," Lily pleaded as she fought a fit of laughter. I smirked at her, shaking my head and ground the snow into her hair. It covered her hair, clung to the stands and fluttered down around her face. She laughed hard, unable to hold it in and I continued to scoop up more snow and cover her in it, as if I were trying to bury her. I felt her shift slightly under me and a warming sensation flooded my body.
"I win," I said, not allowing my voice to take on that quiet tone that it tended to when I talked to her. It was embarrassing when it happened, when she reacted to me that way. She laughed as she struggled a little under me causing my blood to boil a bit more, my desire to increase. It was an alarming sensation as her movement under me warmed me and stirred me, while the sudden fistful of snow slid down the front of my shirt. Her fingers were frozen, and yet they burned where they touched me. I jumped up, alarmed, despite myself.
"How's that?" she taunted. I looked at her, laying still on the ground below me, looking up as I tried to force the snow from my shirt.
"That was downright cruel, Lils," I told her as I glared at her with a hunter's look in my eye, readying to pounce on her. She looked at me in mock horror. "I think I'm going to have to teach you a lesson."
"Ooh," Lily taunted as she started to crawl away. I pounced on her, feral like, pinning her again against the snow again. I scooped large handfuls of snow and thrust them down her shirt, ignoring the heat from her body against my hand.
"Two can play at that game, Lils," I taunted her as I fell away from her, my back against the cold snow. I ignored the cold, the shivers, as she giggled, scooping the snow out of her clothes. We looked up at the sky from ou position in the snow, the cold threatening to freeze us. I focused on breathing, trying to match mine to hers. Without warning, Lily rolled to her side, her body pressing against mine lightly enough to not bother, but enough to cause a slight hitch in my breathing. I glanced around, thankful that we were hidden behind the shed. How convenient!
"I was thinking," Lily said quietly as her fingers toyed with the buttons on my jacket. I looked at her face, uncertain as she bit her bottom lip, wondering what she was thinking. She continued to play with the buttons on my jacket, still not saying anything and the silence stretched between us.
"Yeah?" I murmured slightly, startled by how deep it had come out. I was beyond the years of tormenting changes, and yet there was this deepness that rarely escaped me that tripped me up. I was looking at her face, and her eyes immediately met mine, as if she recognized the change in my voice. Her cheeks were rosy, her lips kissable, and I felt as if I was being drawn into her. It was crazy. Her fingers touched my cheek, traced my mouth gently. I couldn't stop myself. I reached to her own face, ran my thumb over her lips. Where she touched me tingled deep inside, and where I touched her felt like electricity running through my fingers. My heart was pounding and I didn't need that warmth of someone pushing me towards Lily. I didn't think. I pulled her hard against my body, ignoring the snow, and I kissed her roughly. I cradled her face, her hands nearly frozen against mine, but my body felt as if it was on fire. I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to. My mouth left hers, the sweet warmth of her beautiful lips and tongue, and I kissed her, my mouth trailing along her jaw. Even in the icy cold, I was hard.
"I…" Lily murmured as my mouth trailed up to her ear. I could feel her pulse in my hand, her own breathing as quick and excited as my own.
"It's too cold out here," I breathed headily in her ear, her body convulsing excited for a moment against mine.
"Inside?" Lily barely whispered. My heart stopped for a moment, then took off pounding in my chest.
"Yes," I breathed excitedly, not sure what exactly we planned to do, or whether we could actually do anything, but the thought, the idea that maybe we could continue this a little more private excited me further. I was sure she was aware of how much I wanted to close the distance between us right there and then. She pulled away almost reluctantly, and that made me happier than I could ever imagine. Without saying anything, Lily had made me aware of how much she wanted to be with me. We stood next to each other, hesitating before we moved toward the house.
Lily's mom, Grandmother, and her Aunt Hermione were sitting at the table in the kitchen, sipping coffee as we closed the door and began to remove our outer wear. The three They hesitated before they headed inside. Ginny, Molly Weasley, and Hermione were at the table, sipping coffee, as Scorpius and Lily began undressing from their snow gear.
"Shoes, off, socks off," Ginny said as she barely looked up us. "I don't want any of you getting sick. All wet clothes off." I immediately removed my shoes and socks, glancing at my bare feet critically. My toes looked too long in my opinion. I glanced away and to Lily's grandmother.
"The sweater is lovely, Mrs. Weasley," I said as my fingers went to the silver serpent on the front of the sweater. The woman looked at me and smiled kindly, warmly, as if she truly enjoyed the time it had to have taken to make that sweater. I believed she must have really enjoyed it. "Thank you so much."
"You're welcome, dear," Grandmother Weasley said as she offered me an even warmer smile. That unconditional love, it was something that I was not used to from random people. It was warming.
"I'll put them in the dryer," Ginny offered. "You two need to get into dry clothes and get some hot chocolate in you." I pulled my sweater off over my head, my back to them, and I tugged my shirt back down to my jeans. Ginny offered me a cup of hot cup of cocoa while she waited on Lily. I glanced at Lily out of the corner of my eye. She was holding her own cup of cocoa in one hand, jerking her shoes and socks off with the other. I grinned as she peeled her wet sweater off of her body and I glimpsed her bare midriff, before she, too righted her shirt. I watched her sort of dazedly as she walked up stairs, still drinking her cocoa, and I started to follow her.
"Scorpius, wait dear," Grandmother Weasley called to me. I paused at the bottom step and turned to look at the three women, Ginny who was starting the machine, Hermione and Molly Weasley at the table.
"Yes, ma'am?" I replied as I waited.
"I wanted to express my condolences to you about Darla Goyle," she told me. I glanced upstairs for the moment.
"Thank you," I replied.
"You know, dear, if it's too painful to tell the other kids…" Grandmother Weasley said to me in a kind voice.
"I told James," I confessed. I hated it, the way my voice trembled as I spoke of it. "And I will tell Lily… I will… I just…"
"It's ok," Ginny said in a motherly tone as she patted my shoulder. I hadn't realized that she had made her way to me.
"I will tell her, I promise," I said quietly. "I just want her to have a nice holiday. I'll tell her after Christmas."
"It'll be ok, Scorpius," Ginny promised me. I looked up at her and nodded once. Dismissed, I ran upstairs and headed straight into the shower. I hoped that the hot water would drive away the chill that seemed to have sunk in. I jerked on a pair of pants and a tee shirt, running my hands through my hair for a moment before I headed to Lily's bedroom door. I tapped on it lightly as I entered.
Lily looked up at me as I stood in her door way, barefoot and wearing only sweat pants and a tee shirt. I tried to stop myself, but the sight of her standing there by her bed, looking absolutely normal and yet absolutely ethereal over took my senses and I rushed her. My mouth met hers, our tongues dancing, as I pushed her back against her bed. She felt amazingly warm in my arms, tasted sweet like the cocoa she had been drinking and of her own taste. I felt the urges, my hormonal teenage male angst driven urges build up in me as she buried her fingers in my hair, the wet strands causing resistance against her fingers. I shifted above her, on top of her, and the way she felt below me was maddening. She held herself against me, not shying away, and it made me want her even more.
Finally, for a moment, she pulled back, a smile on her face. We were both breathing hard, and there was nothing I wanted to do more than to continue to kiss her at that moment. Well, there was, but I knew that was not the path we were reasonably going to follow at the moment. I smiled at her again, lowering my mouth to hers, sampling her mouth before trailing down to her jaw, and slipping just below to her neck.
"I love you," she breathed. I froze, my heart slamming to a halt. I pulled back, my face betraying my shock, and I frowned.
"Don't say that," I said in quiet fear. "It's not fair to hear." Her confessing that she loved me, I just couldn't handle it. I felt rotten.
"I don't care," she said again, her angelic face set in an almost comically childish pout.
"I don't deserve your love, Lils," I told her as I pulled away, rolling onto my back so that I was merely lying next to her on the bed. I couldn't bring myself to look at her, to know she loved me, truly loved me and I couldn't confess to her, to alleviate the guilt she no doubted struggled with over Darla. I didn't deserve her love at all. She was too good for me, and I didn't deserve her.
"Scorpius! Your dad's here!" Ginny called from the bottom of the stairs. For the first time in my life I found myself sprinting, running from Lily and glad that someone had interrupted us. I didn't want to risk what I was afraid of in my heart. I was pretty certain, though afraid to admit, that I loved Lily, too. And it wasn't that I was afraid of my love for Lily, no, but I was afraid that for once, we were on the same page, and I didn't want to risk losing her now that she was well within my reach.