A/N: I know I've been slacking. Things have been hectic, but, you know… better late than never. Also, here in the next couple of months, you will probably see a change as my country of location from USA to another country. I'll keep you all informed. Oh, and there is a lot of copying and pasting here, because part of this was sort of already in Scorpius' POV in the original.
Disc.: Borrowed for my diversions.
Christmas the Sixth
My dad looked at me curiously as I sat down across from him at the table. Perhaps he could tell that there was something different about me, the flush in my cheeks or maybe the way I averted my eyes after only seconds of meeting his. I didn't help matters that I had come in as my dad was talking about Lily.
"Yeah, with as well as the kids get along, Lily really should come with us to the islands," my dad said as he looked at Harry. "I mean, it's work for me, but there are some fun things for the kids to do, and my mother would accompany Lily as her chaperon."
"Wow, that's very generous of you," Harry said as he looked at Ginny. She nodded once.
"It'd be up to her of course," Ginny said.
"Of course," Dad said smiling at Ginny. Lily walked in and we all looked up. She was cradling her cat, Asher, and got the fur ball some tuna on a plate.
"With your mom being a chaperon, there shouldn't be any issues," Harry said confidently. He glanced at me and I fought to suppress a grin. There would definitely not be any issues. Lily seemed oblivious to us as she walked the cat into the garage. I watched her carefully, not wanting to look too eager or interested. I was already in deep trouble with her, and I didn't need anyone else to know it. She sat, not meeting my eyes, her fingers tracing a random, invisible pattern on the smooth table top.
"So, it's Lily's choice then," Dad said smiling. Her head snapped up at the mention of her name, almost reflexively.
"What?" Lily asked. Her voice held surprise that she had come up, her name at least, in the conversation she wasn't paying any attention to. Heat touched her cheeks for a moment, a quickly and subtle blush.
"Malfoy, er, Draco has invited you to spend part of the summer with him and Scorpius at the beach in the islands," Ginny said to her. Lily blushed harder. I looked down at the table for a second, grinning, before I looked back at her with a straight, tell-less expression.
"Oh, well, that's really kind, thank you," Lily said quietly as she looked at me with confusion. I wondered what was going through her mind right then. Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, but I remained stoic. It was her decision, one way or another. It wasn't my place to choose for her, though I was excited by the prospect of getting to spend at least part of the summer with her. I wanted her to say yes but I couldn't decide that for her.
"Of course, with O.W.L.s coming up, I'm sure Scorpius will be very busy," Hermione said. The adults at the table collectively rolled their eyes and groaned at her response. I contained my urge to laugh. My dad had told me quite a bit about the adults at the table, including how bossy and bookish Mrs. Weasley had been in school. "A holiday at the beach would be just the thing to decompress."
"I… I will think about it," Lily said hesitantly as her eyes flickered to me briefly. I pretended that I didn't see. She forced a smile. "I'm going to lie down. I think all the snow has zapped me at the moment."
"There's plenty of time to decide," Draco said quietly. He smiled at her, a genuine smile, and Lily nodded once.
"Happy Christmas, Mr. Malfoy," Lily murmured before she headed upstairs alone. I watched her walk upstairs, but the only person who seemed to notice was my dad, and Malfoys don't rat-out other Malfoys.
"Have you told her yet?" Draco asked me cautiously. I pulled my attention back to the adults who were looking at me rather sympathetically.
"Not yet," I said again for what seemed like the millionth time. I knew I needed to tell her but I was holding back, not wanting to ruin her holiday. The longer I waited, the harder it was going to be, I got it. I understood.
"You don't have to do this on your own," my dad told me. I knew this, as well. Everyone had offered to help or to even be the one to tell Lily. I didn't know why I was so insistent that it be me. Maybe I hoped that she'd rush into my arms, declaring her love to me. Too late, she had already done that.
I left the table and headed up to the television room. There was a dreadfully long muggle film on Scottish War on, men running about in kilts and face paint. I looked away from the movie to Lily. She was on her back, one arm across her body, the other tucked behind her head. She was asleep, the rhythmic rise and fall of her breathing almost mesmerizing. I stepped forward, curiously watching for her signs of feigned sleep.
"Lils, you asleep?" I breathed as I stroked her cheek with my fingers. She didn't wake, just mumbled something and turned towards my touch, her face now pressed into her arm. I laughed quietly and sat down in front of her. I glanced up as James flung himself in one of the spare chairs, the thing creaking in protest.
"You like her, don't you?" James asked me with his voice quiet. I hesitated, wondering if I should lie or tell the truth. James and I weren't exactly mates, and this was his younger sister, but what good would have it done for me to lie? He could probably read it on my face.
"Yeah," I grunted in confession. I quickly looked away from him, almost afraid of what I'd see. Would he be angered? Disgusted? Lily was, after all, his baby sister. We waited in silence for a bit, the movie playing out in all its bloody gore as a man received an arrow in the fleshy part of a bare butt cheek.
"Please don't hurt her," James threatened in a low voice as Rose entered. "Because if you do, I'll hurt you."
"Hey, hot cocoa," Rose interrupted James' threat at me as she pressed a mug into his hand. My eyes flickered to her for a moment. "Awe, I swear. If I had a baby sister, I swear I'd want her to be just like Lily."
"Take her," James laughed as we watched Rose walk across the room. "She's too girly for me, even with Quidditch."
"Eh, she's perfect the way she is," I said smiling as I glanced over my shoulder at her. She sighed quietly, turning away from the back of the couch, her arm now dangling over the edge of the couch. Lily's arm rested against my body, heat rising off of it. I could smell her invading my head and I fought the urge to grown.
"You'd think so," Rose challenged. I looked up at her almost in discomfort, her eyes trained on me, their look meaningful.
"Yeah," I sighed in almost defeat. I apparently hadn't hid it very well, though I didn't realize that I was being that obvious about my attraction to Lily.
"This is not good, Scorpius," Rose reminded me carefully. I nodded once, looking back to see a man charging another man.
"I know," I grunted. It was quiet for a moment, the only sounds were coming quietly from the television as the war continued.
"Have you told her about Darla?" James asked quietly. I glanced at him for a second, his legs draped over the arm rest of the chair casually.
"Not yet," I shook my head. I took a deep breath, readying to explain. It felt like I was explaining this a lot. "I just want her to have a Happy Christmas, you know?"
"It's been a week since it happened," Rose whispered to me. I looked over at her, her eyes sad and sympathetic.
"I know," I promised. "I'm going to tell her soon."
"I was surprised that you dad didn't let anything slip," James said quietly. I glanced back at Lily, her breathing coming slow and steady.
"I told him not to say anything," I confessed. I continued to look at Lily, the desire to brush some of her hair out of her face nearly overwhelming. I stayed strong, though, keeping my fingers to myself. "He trusts me to handle it properly."
"Funny how it worked out," James said. I shrugged, not really seeing where there was anything funny about it.
"I'm sad and thankful, all in the same," I admitted.
"You know, if it's too hard, Mum and Dad will tell her for you," James told me. I knew this, having been told this several times. It was wearing on me, as if everyone thought that I was avoiding it for some reason. I was, but still…
"I'll do it," I snapped. "Just not today. Tomorrow, or maybe the next day."
"You wait too long, you run the risk of one her friends telling her," Rose prodded gently. Her words were true, but I didn't want to hear them.
"How the hell am I supposed to tell her and not hurt her?" I growled in demand. "I just promised you I wouldn't hurt her."
"She's going to be upset and hurt no matter who tells her," James said to me. "I don't think that counts. Plus I meant that I'd get you if you hurt her. This is just her." I waited a moment, trying to understand what the hell he had just said. I frowned.
"That doesn't make any sense," I said shaking my head.
"Yeah, it does," James defended.
"Not really," Rose remarked. James shot a look at her, and I smirked. He didn't like to be contradicted, not that I blamed him, but hell if he wasn't making a lick of sense.
"You're supposed to be on my side," James said. She laughed at him, and I joined in.
"There are no sides, James," Rose reminded. She looked up as Albus and Hugo bound into the room, grinning from ear to ear. I glanced over at the two, aware that they were up to no good. Their smiles were just too falsely innocent.
"Dad's taking us down to the pond to ice skate," Albus said. His hands were behind his back. He stepped up to the back of the couch. I saw his eyes flicker to Lily but they returned to looking at the three of us as if he'd never taken his eyes off of us. "You guys in?"
"Yeah," James and Rose said.
"Sure," I said. I looked at Lily still sleeping on the couch. "Should we wake her?"
"We've got it covered," Hugo laughed as they dumped fists full of snow on her face. Lily jumped up with a screech, disoriented and pissed. I jumped back quickly, not wanting to get hit by her. Some of the snow the boys had dumped on her had landed on me, anyways.
"Hugo! Albus! I'm going to kill you!" She screamed as she jumped over the back of the couch, poised to kill them. They laughed and bolted out of the television room, her on his feet and running out of the room. I laughed. I couldn't help it. I brushed the snow off my arm as I stood, Rose a few steps away from me now as she started sweeping the snow off the sofa.
"Not much of a morning person still," Rose laughed. The three of us headed out of the T.V. room, down the stairs, and halted at the base of the steps. We watched in amusement as Lily had Hugo pinned to the floor. The adults were sitting at the table, half frozen with shock and amusement. Albus was within arm's reach, jinxed with a leg-locking curse. Lily didn't seem to notice that there was an audience watching.
"I swear to Merlin and to the Wizengamut that you will pay dearly," Lily said as she slapped Hugo's stomach into a nice strawberry color.
"Lily," Ginny said quietly after Lily abused Albus with the same belly slapping technique. "No underage magic outside of school."
"Uh," Lily said looking up at everyone. She stood, her face blazing hot in embarrassment and she cleared her throat as if she were about to make a speech. I watched her in amazement, the snow that was melting in her hair glinted like little diamond hung in the darkening strands. "So, what's the plan for the rest of the day?"
"Ice skating at the pond," Harry said with a smirk. I looked away from Lily to Harry for a moment.
"Sounds like fun," Lily said. "How about ice hockey?"
"Ice hockey?" My dad asked and I turned to look at him before returning my gaze to Lily. She wasn't looking at me, instead she was glancing out the window, her hands twisting and wringing each other.
"Muggle sport," Harry said. He grinned. "You'll love it." I turned my head back to my father in confusion. He was coming with us?
"You're coming with us?" I asked frowning.
"Fathers should spend time with their sons," Grandmother Weasley said to me. I nodded once.
"Wouldn't that apply to Mr. Malfoy taking care of Grandfather Malfoy?" Lily asked innocently. I watched her begin to pull clothes from the dryer. "Is his Dragon Pox any better?"
"Um," Dad said as his eyes met mine. I could feel everyone's gaze on me, heavy.
"Well, Lucius doesn't have Dragon Pox anymore," I said hesitantly. She smiled at me, the only way that Lily could, and it seized the unhappy words in my throat.
"That's good," Lily said as she handed me my sweater, the one that Grandma Weasley had made me. "I'll be back down in a bit. Don't go and try to leave without me."
"We won't," Harry promised as he looked away from me for a moment.
"I'm going to talk to her later," I promised quickly. "I just want to wait until the moment is right."
"I told you, if it's too hard we don't have a problem talking to her," Ginny reminded me.
"It's complicated, that's all," I confirmed. Yeah, it was complicated and messy and I didn't want Lily to have a bad holiday. It was a real mess.
"I still think she's too good for you," Ron said to me crossing his arms. "Too good to be a Slytherin." His wife, Hermione, elbowed him hard, hissing his name in protest.
"You don't know her, Uncle Ron," Albus said laughing hard at a private joke that no one seemed to know. "She's downright diabolical."
"Are you talking about me," Lily teased as she bounced down the stairs. She was grinning, Asher on her heels, her hair flipping behind her as entered the kitchen. She was wearing the sweater again, her eyes sparkled with love and light. How could I take away that happiness?
"Always," James teased as he rolled his eyes. "I swear. You are so conceited sometimes."
"I learned it from the best, big brother," Lily laughed as she threw her arm around his shoulders. Even though James was just her brother, I felt a pang of jealousy. I wanted her arms around me again. "Come on. I can't wait to whoop you on the ice."
"As clumsy as you are?" Rose snorted. Lily shot her a look but the other's laughed.
"I'm not clumsy," Lily frowned. "I just don't know how to break."
"Ok, ok," Harry laughed as he could see things quickly accelerating. "Bundle up and lets all go."
Donning winter wear, we all squeezed into Harry's van. It was a tight fit. Hermione ended up sitting on Ron's lap, Dad was next to Grandma Weasley, and the girls ended up sitting on the floor. I almost offered to let Lily sit in my lap, but I didn't. I knew she'd say no, and frankly I didn't want to put myself in a position of not only rejection but scrutiny. Instead, she settled against the side of the van, her shoulder pressed against my leg. It gave me an unobstructed view of her.
"Do you think that they're going to get Ballego to join the South American Quidditch team?" James asked his Uncle Ron. I half listened while I watched Lily pull a book out from under one of the seats. She settled back, opening it, and began to read. After a minute, she looked up at me, her eyes meeting mine.
"What?" She hissed at me. I grinned and shook my head.
"Nothing," I told her.
"Oh, ok," Lily laughed at me, rolling her eyes. She went back to reading the book. My heart began to race when she rested her head against my knee, her eyes devouring the words on the pages.
"Oh, is that the new Day Walker book?" Rose hissed at her. Lily looked up, grinning, her face lighting up..
"No, I've not gone to get it yet," Lily said. "I'm re-reading the third one, first before I beg Dad to take me to get it."
"Day Walker?" I asked James as I turned to look at him. I had never heard of these books before. James rolled his eyes.
"Some stupid muggle series," James said shaking his head. "Totally girly. It's definitely not something our kind would read about."
"What's it about?" I asked curiously as Lily's cheek pinked slightly.
"Magic," Lily said. Lily glanced at Rose and the two of them started giggling.
"Uh, ok?" I said not really getting what was so funny. We read books about magic all the time at school. It didn't seem too funny to me.
"It's a muggle book, so it's complete hogwash," Hermione explained to me, turning to look at me while she spoke. Her face was twisted with annoyance and disgust. "A few of the kids around the neighborhood got hooked and of course these two got hooked. Trashy, I say. If you want to read about magic, read a text book."
"Mum, you just don't get it," Rose said with an almost exasperated tone to her voice.
"It's not about the magic," Lily confirmed. She looked at Rose, who prompted erupted in a fit of giggles with her.
"I still don't get it," I said with a confused sort of smile on my face. James sighed.
"We don't either," James confessed. Girls were so weird sometimes, I just didn't see what the big deal was about the book, but apparently it was not meant to be understood by me.
Lily turned back to the page, reading it. I hate to admit it but I watched her, saw how she sometimes smiled at the pages, sometimes frowned, and occasionally would hold her breath just to release it in a shuddering manner some pages later. Her reactions were amusing. I wondered what the hell was so interesting that it would cause her to have those reactions, but I knew that I couldn't very well ask her in front of all her family there. She bit her lip, leaning forward and for a moment I wanted to help her with that. It was maddening.
Lucky for me, the van stopped and we all began to tumble out. The girls had been most cramped and they took a minute to stretch their legs while Hugo and Albus began pushing and shoving each other for the joy of it. I looked at the book as I climbed free, the corner bent over to hold her place as I tried to submit the title to memory for later.
We all pulled our skates on, careful to tie them tightly before we headed over to the pond. Lily's Uncle Ron checked the thickness of the ice and then we were all set free to skate as we pleased, the adults watching as we took to the ice. I saw first hand what they meant when they said that Lily was clumsy. She was awesome fast, faster than even James probably, but she had no ability to stop and landed in the goals a few times, and once even knocked Rose down. I could only imagine how much rear to ice contact must hurt.
After what seemed like her twentieth time on her butt, I skated up to her, offering hand. She took it in hers, our mittens keeping our hands warm and free of skin to skin contact. It probably helped keep my head clear.
"Do you want me to teach you to stop?" I offered as she gingerly rubbed her bottom. I laughed as she turned to face me "Or at least to turn to avoid a collision?"
"Sure," she replied, grinning as I took her by the arm. "But be warned, everyone has tried to teach me and I just can't learn."
"I think I can teach you," I said confidently. Lily laughed. She actually laughed at me for it.
"Your funeral," she teased me. My heart stopped for a moment, a wave of emotion flooding over me. Before I could say anything or react, I found myself rushing to the ground, Lily's grip still tight on my arm.
"Ouch, Lils," I grunted as I struggled back to my feet. I hadn't expected to fall down quite so soon in teaching her to stop.
"Sorry," Lily said shrugging sheepishly. Her cheeks were pink, be it from cold or embarrassment, I didn't know.
"It's ok," I grumbled and she laughed.
I really tried to teach her, I did, but apparently stopping wasn't something that Lily could learn. I ended up staring at the sky more times than I would care to admit, a few times on my stomach. Without meaning to, plenty of swear words were grunted in protest but it didn't seem to help much, Lily still fell and she still drug me down with her. I felt bad for her because she was trying, really, but she just wasn't getting it. If falling was a skill, she'd have that down pat, but since she was aiming at stopping, we were failing epically. She seemed as frustrated as I was, and I wondered if she had put too much faith in my ability to teach her. She'd rise, force a smile at me, and try again. I felt as if I was failing her.
"I'm sorry, Score," Lily groaned as she lie on her back, rubbing the back of her head. She still looked like she was going to get back up and try again, and as much as I hated to think it, I thought perhaps it was time for her to give up and maybe wear a helmet and padded bottoms when she ice skated.
"It's ok," I said to her quietly as I helped her up again for the twentieth thousand time. I grinned at her, my thoughts twirling in my head. "I've got an idea. It won't teach you to turn or stop, but at least you'd get to do more than go into a straight line until you crashed."
"I'm game for anything you are suggesting," Lily said as she stood next to me and for a moment I wondered wickedly is she truly meant anything I suggested. I forced those thoughts from my head before she could read them on my face and I grinned at her, sliding my arm around her and resting my hand on her hip. Her face flushed slightly, the heat radiating off her body.
"Let me lead," I breathed slightly as I started us in a slow loop. She laughed as she looked at me.
"This is nice," Lily admitted. She snuggled against me, my heart taking off in my chest with excitement as we did a few laps.
"Yeah, it is," I agreed as I looked over at my dad sitting with Harry and the other adults. I sighed slightly without meaning to.
"Is something wrong?" Lily asked as she looked to where I was looking. I shook my head.
"Not really," I said as I forced a smile. "I just want to talk to you later, if you don't mind."
"About?" Lily asked. I knew my smile waivered slightly. It was getting to be time for me to tell her, to tell Lily that Darla had died and that I wasn't bound by the marital contract anymore. I felt the warmth of a hand on my shoulder, almost encouraging met.
"My official engagement to Darla," I whispered, afraid to break the silence that seemed to drape over us. Lily closed her eyes for a second as she exhaled.
"Well, we knew this was coming," Lily said forcing a smile. She hugged me briefly and skated away. I felt the warmth of the invisible hand push me toward Lily, as if telling me to chase after her.
"Wait, Lily," I called. She looked back at me, her toe pick catching the ice. She ended up face first in to the ice, her arm catching her just in time to not scrape up her pretty face. I stopped and offered her my hand, but she rejected it, standing on her own. How I adore that about her. She looked at me and stomped her skate into the ice in a momentary slip of age.
"I'm sick of stuff not working out," Lily snapped at me. Her eyes were tearing up, upset, and she didn't bother to brush them away. Instead she stomped her foot again to make her point. It was as if in slow motion. The sound of the ice cracking sounded like it was in my head, echoing. We both seemed to look down as the ice seemed to split open like a mouth, a vortex ready to consume us. I looked back up at her horrified face. She was quicker on her feet and her hands collided with my chest with such force that I landed on my back and slid away from her as the icy water consumed her whole. I yelled for her, the words meaningless even in my head as she dipped below the icy surface, gone. I jerked my head and yelled for our parents before I returned to looking at the icy hole that seemed to be freezing up, slush forming at the water's surface. Panic consumed me.
"We can't get any closer!" Ginny shouted to me as the ice creaked and groaned underneath them. I looked at them, still at least ten, maybe twenty, feet from me. I hadn't moved, still on my back, still looking at the hole, hoping Lily would surface. She was running out of time, but I didn't know that. I didn't know anything. I jerked off my coat and my skates, tossing them aside. I rolled carefully on my stomach, the ice groaning under me.
"Lily! Lily!" I called to her, panicked, as I slid across the ice to the opening. It seemed to take forever to get there and I hoped that she could hold on. I ignored the tears that seemed to be stealing away from my eyes, just reached into the water. I have never felt water so cold, the ice burned at my flesh as if it were fire and not ice that I had plunged my hands into. It stung, stealing my breath. I reached deeper, my numb hands searching for her, until the water lapped at my shoulders and slid down the front of my sweater. Some of the water had already turned to ice in my sleeves. "Lily! Please!"
Then, as if someone was taunting me, I felt something brush my numbing fingers. I grabbed at it, missing, and dread threatened to consume me. I didn't know how much time had passed, how much time she had been under the water. I pushed forward, the water cresting my chin. I could feel those same invisibly warm hands there with me, as if holding me from falling in. I said a silent prayer, asking anyone, everyone to help me find Lily and for her to be ok. I felt the warmth on my cheek and I slipped forward, slushy water entering my mouth. I never once thought that I was falling in myself, face first. The warm hands held me firmly, and then as if by a miracle, I felt something familiar and soft brush my hand. I didn't care what it was, I just grabbed on with my frozen fingers and held on, tugging and pulling.
Her hand broke the surface of the water first and I dove arm first in to the water, teetering on the edge and threatening to fall in myself as I slipped my arms around her body and pulled her out of the frozen water. Her head fell back, her skin was so blue and ice cold. I lowered my ear to her mouth, straining to hear anything remotely like a breath. She wasn't breathing and panic bubbled up in me. I didn't try to fight the tears that stung in my eyes. My arms were numb, dead, and yet I managed to encircle Lily's body and drug her to a closer spot to the adults, who in turn were backing up on the ice as well, carefully. Finally, Harry summoned us, our bodies sliding effortlessly across the ice into our parents' waiting arms.