One Night 6
AN: GAH! Stupid computer... I had this half written then it went bonkers and I had to reboot and nothing was saved and AHHH! I'm sorry for the long wait... I've been really busy with the school play and such lately, and my com. Tech. Teacher kills me with the amount of homework I get so... forgiveness? Pretty please?
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Allen picked at her dinner forlornly, trying to push all thoughts out of her still reeling mind. It wasn't fair... Lavi had no right to say those things to her... 'Well how am I supposed to know you if you never let anyone in?!' What the hell did he think sleeping with him was? The last time she checked, that was letting someone in on the deepest and most sacred level. It hurt to be abandoned by Lavi, even if she had expected it. She knew he was in no position to really be a father, because of the bookmen but... she had thought he would have at least... been conflicted.
She had felt his passion.
She remembered the words he whispered while they did that forbidden dance.
She felt the truth that laid within them.
'I love you Allen...' she shivered, blushing lightly at the memory as she chewed a rather large piece of corned beef. A gloved hand drifted to her neck, lightly touching the spot where her first hickey had been, and long faded from. She had given her everything to Lavi, and even if she didn't talk about her past much to avoid reliving those terrible memories, Lavi wasn't any better. If anything he was worse.
Allen didn't know anything about Lavi, she knew he liked Yakitori, and his favourite colour was green, but she didn't know what country he was from, if he had ever had a real family of any sort, what he had done as a child, or what his life was like before the order. And even then.... all Allen knew about his order life was from stories told by others...
Lavi never spoke of his own past. No matter the situation.
And that was something Allen loved about him.
When they spoke to each other, careful to keep any mentions of what had happened to them in the far away past, Allen felt a connection. They were kindred spirits, they both knew the hardships life had to offer and how to avoid telling people about it. It frustrated others, but it protected them. Neither of them could have stood receiving a pitying look from anyone.
"Che." Allen blinked at the sound, staring at the person sitting in front of her, sharpening his long katana with a serious expression on his face.
"K-Kanda? When did you get here?" the man scowled deeply, clearly annoyed by the question.
"I've been here for ten minutes, baka moyashi."
"My name is Allen!"
"I don't care."
"Why are you sitting at my table?" Allen snapped, not really in the mood for an argument.
"Who's the father?"
"... Okay... I'll just pretend that question wasn't asked completely at random..." Allen raised an eyebrow at Kanda, who glared viciously at her.
"Who is the father?"
"I've already said that I'm not going to tell you Kanda."
"Why the fuck not? Don't you want someone to make the bastard pay for what he did to you?"
Allen's eyes narrowed slightly and she looked around, noticing for the first time that no one was sitting anywhere near them. It seemed Kanda sharpening Mugen was enough to scare them into retreating from hearing range.
"You act as if I wasn't a willing participant Kanda..." Allen flushed slightly at her words, trying to ignore the disgusted look Kanda gave her.
"You're a sixteen year old brat. You can't be a willing participant."
"You're only three years older than me Kanda!" she hissed angrily, "And I don't want you to kill him, so will you just let it go?"
Kanda stared intensely at the girl, blinking in surprise as something occurred to him, "Holy fucking shit, you're in love with the asshole?!?"
"He is not an arsehole!"
"You're in love with him..." Kanda muttered, furrowing his eyebrows as Allen could practically see the wheels turning furiously in his mind.
It was almost kind of cute how Kanda thought he was observant.
Cute in an annoying way that is.
"Does it really matter?"
"I'm definitely going to kill him now." Allen sweat dropped, wondering how that could possibly make sense in Kanda's mind.
"Uh, why?"
"Because he took advantage of you." Lavi walked into the cafeteria and Allen couldn't help but follow him with her eyes, ignoring Kanda and his threatening aura. Noticing that the girl in front of him wasn't giving him and his terrifying murder threats her undivided attention, Kanda turned in his seat to see what had captured her eye.
Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he turned back to Allen, slight confusion mixed with annoyance playing across his features. What was so interesting about the rabbit getting a snack to take back to the library?
Allen turned back to Kanda as Lavi left with the plate of cookies he had weaseled out of Jerry to see Kanda glaring at nothing, signifying he was deep in thought. Allen sighed, going back to her meal as Kanda brooded on something or other.
"... Is... the rabbit..." he started after a few moments, eyebrows still furrowed, "The father?" Allen froze, her eyes going wide in shock as she blinked at Kanda owlishly.
Maybe he really was observant...?
"Um... n-no! Of course not!" the smirk that crawled across Kanda's face sent a shiver down Allen's spine.
"Oh... now I actually have an excuse to kill the rabbit..."
"N-no Kanda, please, don't do anything to him!"
"What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of Mugen being sharpened."
Allen sighed, looking up at Kanda with pleading eyes, "Please Kanda, don't make a big deal of this..." the Japanese teen blinked, scowling as he glanced away.
"Whatever."
"Thank you Kanda..." he rolled his eyes, making a disgusted sound as he sheathed the razor sharp katana, "I'm going to be leaving in a couple hours... so please, while I'm gone, don't maim Lavi."
"Leaving? Where the hell are you going? Koumi wouldn't send you on a mission."
"He isn't. I'm going to... another location until... well... I have... the baby..." it felt awkward to talk about the actual act of having the baby, it felt just plain uncomfortable actually, thinking about bringing another life into the world. She was already on the way there but it wasn't something she really put much time into thinking about. Kanda was obviously as uncomfortable about the whole concept it seemed as he nodded stiffly, avoiding Allen's gaze.
"Right. Whatever. I have to go." He stood, leaving the silver haired lass alone with her half finished meal and her own thoughts.
----
"What the hell Yuu?!" Lavi glared at Kanda, holding the cheek that had just had a rather violent encounter with Kanda's fist. The taller man slammed Lavi against the wall, his forearm pressing threateningly against the redhead's vulnerable neck before Lavi even knew what was going on.
"You are a god damn coward." Lavi blinked in confusion and anger at the enraged exorcist, but said nothing, "How the FUCK could you get a girl knocked up and then walk out on her?! Do you have any balls at all?!" Lavi's only visible eye widened in shock.
"Y-you... know about... A-Allen? How?!"
"None of your fucking business. Why the hell did you abandon the moyashi?" there was a long silence as they glared at each other, before Lavi's shame filled eye turned down.
"I... had to."
"No you didn't dumbass." Lavi shook his head sadly, keeping his eyes downcast, but Kanda ignored him, "She's got your own flesh and blood growing inside her, and you should have enough respect for the girl who is giving you your first child to stay by her side."
"It's not that simple Yuu..."
Kanda huffed, pulling away from the redheaded teen and crossing his arms, "Then explain it to me." his tone booked no argument and Lavi sighed, running his fingers over his face stressfully.
"Long story short, if bookman finds out that Allen is having my kid; he'll send someone from the clan to kill it. I'm not even supposed to be able to have kids... there are spells in place to prevent it from happening, and they aren't supposed to need to be redone for another year and a half..."
To say that Kanda looked shocked was something of an understatement.
Kanda looked flabbergasted.
"What the hell kind of fucked up rules are those? Killing a baby? That's disgusting!" Kanda had a healthy respect for life, it was his job to protect it, and even if he couldn't save every life, he believed it was sacred and not to be taken away without reason.
"That's why... I have to stay away from her. She would be torn apart by losing the kid... as long as bookman never finds out it's my kid she'll be safe and I can keep being an apprentice."
"You're a damn fool. You would let her raise that kid all by herself just so you could stay a fucking bookman?"
"It's not like I have a choice in the matter Yuu..." Kanda glowered at him, shaking his head in contempt.
"Whatever rabbit. The moyashi is leaving for some other place to have the kid tonight. You might want to talk to her before she goes." Kanda walked away, leaving the shell shocked Lavi alone.
Kanda turned the corner, catching the sight of Lavi racing down the hallway towards Allen's room in the corner of his eye.
----
Allen Walker had never truly felt a discomfort like that before. Sure, there had been times when she felt awkward around Lavi, there had been times she had felt uncomfortable around Lenalee, there had been times she hadn't know how to react to things, there had been times she had felt physical discomfort.
But there really wasn't anything quite like wearing a skirt in a train station.
Allen shivered as the train pulled up, tightening the large sweater around herself as it slowed. She couldn't even remember ever wearing a skirt before in her life! Allen had never in her life felt so self conscious. Every step she took it felt like someone's eyes were climbing up her legs and trying to see up her skirt. It was not a pleasant feeling.
Allen reached up, stroking the light brown wig that hid her usual colour. It was itchy and hot but necessary, just like the make up over her scar. She felt fake and made up like a doll and Allen hated it, but was willing to put up with it to avoid any risk to the tiny being that was forming in her abdomen.
The conductor smiled as he ushered her inside, throwing Allen slightly off guard. She wasn't used to getting such kind treatment. The girl treatment. Allen was used to being sneered at for her hair, or her tattoo like scar or her strangely coloured arm. Now she had a wig to cover her hair, make up to cover her scar and the long sleeves of a simple blouse and dainty gloves to cover her arm.
"We've got a very large crowd on this train today my dear, so I'm sorry to say but you may have to share this cabin with another passenger, I hope you don't mind." Allen smiled at the conductor, shaking her head at his apologetic face.
"It's no trouble sir." The man smiled back and excused himself as Allen sat down beside the window to stare out at the crowds milling about on the outdoor platform. It was odd to actually board a train without jumping onto it.
Allen smiled at nothing as she lost herself in her musings, not really hearing the knock at the door. It slid open and it was only the sound of a man's voice that called her out of her thoughts.
"Oh? I'm sorry; I didn't know there was anyone occupying this cabin." Allen turned to the door and took in the sight of a tall Englishman, dressed smartly in dark brown tweeds with his light blond hair swept neatly to the side. He was young, in his early twenties or so, and had a charming smile below his brilliantly blue eyes.
"It's no trouble sir. You are welcome to sit here if you like." Allen smiled, gesturing to the seat across from her. The man nodded thankfully and stepped in, closing the door behind him.
"Thank you very much Miss. My name is William Carter the second. Might I inquire to what yours is?"
'Such a gentleman...' Allen thought with a smile, "My name is Allen Wa- Kingston. Allen Kingston..." she smiled nervously, internally cursing herself for stumbling over the false name she had decided on for the trip.
"Ah, it is a pleasure Miss. Kingston," the older man smiled charmingly as he took a seat across from Allen, "Are you travelling alone?"
"I have an escort, but he has taken another cabin to give me privacy."
"Well I am sorry to intrude..."
"It's not a trouble Mr. Carter, I assure you."
"Please, call me Will." Allen smiled, nodding lightly as she spoke.
"Very well, but please call me Allen."
"Of course Miss. Ellen." Will was quite the charmer Allen decided, smart, polite, sweet, and handsome. Everything any girl could ask for in a man, but as they spoke she found herself constantly comparing him to Lavi. Lavi was a flirt, Will was shy, Lavi was crude, Will was reserved, Lavi was funny, Will was entertaining, Lavi was the one she loved, Will was not. Will was obviously a good man, but Allen just felt herself longing for Lavi more as they spoke.
"I do apologize Miss. Ellen, but... might I ask who it is you are thinking about?" the mispronunciation of her name irritated Allen in the slightest, but she let it go. It wouldn't be wise to point out that she did in fact bear a male name.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you have a rather far away look in your eye... you remind me of my mother when she thinks of my father actually... are you thinking of the one you love?" to say Allen was startled would have been a very accurate, and Will laughed at the way she blinked owlishly at him.
"H-how did you know?"
"It was just a guess... one that was just proven right actually." Allen blushes and looked down at her gloved hands, nodding lightly.
"I was thinking about the one I love... though it is a rather sad thing to think about... he doesn't love me the way I love him..."
Will seemed aghast at the notion and he leaned forward, looking sincerely concerned, "Do not think that way Miss. Ellen, for I, someone you have just met could not see any reason not to love you." They both blushed as Allen smiled thankfully.
"Um... thank you Will, but it seems that where it truly counts I'm just out of luck."
She turned away from the gentleman as the train began to pull away from the station after the long wait. It seemed some part had broken and was being repaired, causing a long delay. Allen did a double take, spotting wild red hair held up by a bandana in the crowd, but was unable to find it again as the train barrelled down the track toward the waiting Asian branch. Will continued to chatter on; oblivious to the fact Allen was only half-listening to him.
Allen smiled, turning back to him and continuing their conversation cheerfully, trying to push the thoughts of Lavi out of her mind.
Even if it was painful.
--CHAPTER END—
AN: wow! That was a long chapter... once again, sorry for the wait!
Please review~!