Chapter 7: Pun Day
The next morning, Gill was woken by the sounds of laughter. He got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast when he heard Romani talking to Teak about something. "… and when the woman came to buy the Chateau Romani from Cremia and me, she asked 'Are you trying to milk me out of my money?'" Teak winced at the pun, but Gill burst out laughing.
"You [i]like[/i] puns!?" Teak asked.
"Kind of." Gill replied. "I just thought that one was good."
"What are you talking about?" Romani said. "That one was horrible."
"The bad ones are usually the punniest." Gill replied.
This time, both Teak and Romani winced.
"What?" Gill asked. "Since we were on the subject of punning, I figured I would make one myself."
Romani just went back to her task of slicing the cheese for their breakfast of grilled cheese. All of a sudden, Teak plugged his nose.
"What is that smell?" Teak asked.
"What smell?" Gill replied.
"You can't smell that?" Teak asked. "It smells like Romani cut the cheese."
Gill and Teak surpassed laughing and went to rolling on the floor. Romani went red in the face and grabbed the cork to a big jar and stuck it in Teak's mouth.
"Cork it." Romani said.
Things turned from rolling on the floor to sides are bursting. Teak spat out the cork and made an effort to stand up to grab the pepper off of the table.
"Let's spice things up a bit." Teak said.
He sprinkled the pepper on Romani's nose and she began to sneeze as Gill and Teak were still laughing.
Soon, their laughter died and Romani stopped sneezing. They sat down to eat their breakfast and resisted the urge to make another pun. They ate in silence until Gill got curious as to why they were punning when he came downstairs.
"Fifteen years ago, when the Carnival of Time was expanded into a week, Mayor Dutor had the guards and the carpenters at his house for a party celebrating the world being saved." Romani explained. "One of the guards made a malapropism, an unintentional play on words. Everyone else thought it was a pun and the mayor happens to be a sap for puns, so he made one and everyone else joined in. By the end of the evening, everyone was on the floor clutching their sides from laughter. Since then, the mayor made this day Pun Day. That too was a pun. Ever since, everyone makes puns on the second day of the carnival."
"Wow." Gill said. "It turned into a tradition overnight."
"Exactly." Romani replied. "At first, I hated them with a passion, but when my sister, Cremia, started to pun like crazy all of the time, I grew to like it, but only on Pun Day. Teak had the same attitude I once had, but I see you got him to soften up."
"I guess I did." Gill replied.
"It'll take more than that to make me like puns." Teak said.
"Yeah, like you weren't enjoying yourself when you spiced things up with Romani." Gill told him.
"I did that for your benefit." Teak replied.
"Whatever." Gill said. "I'm going to my forge. I want to open up before everyone gets around."
"See ya." Romani said.
Gill walked over to his forge and set everything up. He made sure that all of his tools were in the proper place, that he had enough denominations of rupees to make change, and enough metal to meet the eccentric demands of the people at the festival. Not long after he set up shop, a customer came to him and asked if he could make a can out of some tin.
"Why do you want a tin can?" Gill asked.
"Well," he said. "A one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine can't but a tin can."
Gill winced at the pun.
"I'll see what I can do." he said.
Gill immediately got some tin out of his scraps and set to work on the can. In about twenty minutes, he had finished shaping the can and it was starting to cool.
"So, what do you do for a living?" Gill asked the stranger.
"I am a scribe, but I am looking for a job here in Clocktown." he replied. "The problem is, I don't think I can right here because I left my paper, quills, and ink at my house in the mountains."
Gill had a confused look on his face for about a minute before he realized that his customer had made another pun.
"You know, you should really try to make the pun obvious." Gill said.
"I thought it was." the stranger replied.
"It probably was obvious if you were talking to another scribe, but I am just a simple smith." Gill said. "I do not know as much about language as you do."
"Well, I see that my tin finally can." the stranger said. "How much do I owe you?"
"Because it was an easy job," Gill said, "You owe me tin rupees."
"How many tin rupees?" the stranger replied.
"Ten tin rupees." Gill told him.
Sure enough, the stranger produced ten tin rupees. Gill saw them and was flabbergasted.
"How the hell does someone carry ten tin rupees with them wherever he goes?" he asked.
The stranger replied, "I don't go anywhere without the proper payment."
Gill just stared at him with amazement. Just who has ten tin rupees anyway?
"I am also looking for someone by the name of Romani." the stranger said. "Do you know where I can find her?"
"You don't have to look any further." Gill replied. "She lives in the house right next to this forge."
"Thank you." the stranger said. "What is your name?"
"Gill." Gill replied. "Yours?"
"Kendall." the stranger replied.
"I hope to see you soon, Kendall." Gill said.
"Likewise." Kendall replied.
And so, Gill's new friend, Kendall, went inside the house to see Romani. Gill kept working at his forge, constantly being greeted by customers with too many puns to keep track of.
At noon, Gill closed shop and went inside for lunch. Romani, Teak, and Kendall were all there waiting on Gill.
"Romani told me that you lived here too." Kendall said.
"She told you right." Gill replied.
"Then you must know that there is one more reason that I am here." Kendall said. "I am the Mountain Master, gifted with the powers of fire."
"It looks like fire and water finally came to a truce today." Gill said.
"Indeed." Kendall replied. "And what a glorious truce that is, too."
Romani brought their food to the table. Fried cucco and salad is just what Gill was hoping for, and to that effect, he dug in.
"Oink." Kendall said.
"Kendall, sush." Romani said. "Let him eat how he wants."
"At that rate, we may be able to have roast pig for supper this evening." Kendall replied.
Gill just ignored him and continued eating. Knowing the relationship between fire and water, if he started arguing, that would get them nowhere fast.
After lunch, the four of them went to enjoy the festivities in South Clocktown until dinner, where Romani did indeed serve roast pig, to Kendall's amusement. After dinner, they went to bed awaiting the insanity that was to come the next day.