On Monster Island, far away from any human civilization, in a gentle valley, two huge monsters were talking with each other.
Actually, that's not quite right. They were not speaking like a human would, but they were screeching, growling and making other sorts of monster noises. It's just that they were able to understand each other.
"Well?" the giant, armored, four-legged dinosaur called Anguirus asked. "Are they at it again?"
The equally massive, pteranodon-like monster named Rodan nodded. "Yup, just outside of Tokyo. You know, I'm getting sick of this..."
"And? What's the reason this time?"
Rodan huffed. "Oh, you know, the usual... humans test their military aircraft above our island, a few misguided missiles hit Godzilla's lair, he wakes up, gets angry and decides to teach humanity another lesson. Of course, that means he leaves the island and marches towards Japan... While he's on his way, Mothra learns about what he's doing and flies after him, catching up with him just as he's about to enter town. They squabble, the squabble becomes a fight, and they've been at it since this morning."
"And I suppose the Japanese humans are not too happy about this, aren't they?" Anguirus asked.
"Not one bit," Rodan nodded. "Still, they decided not to let the tanks and airfighters interfere, they want to see if Mothra can take care of the problem. Maybe those priestesses of hers have already informed the human leaders..."
"Heh, figures!" Anguirus snorted. "I'm telling you, the way those two always get it on with each other reminds me of a married couple..."
When hearing those words, Rodan rose up from the ground with one mighty wing flap and screeched: "WHAT?"
Anguirus was certainly startled by Rodan's irritated reaction. "Well, ya know... they say that married people always fight, don't they?"
"If that was supposed to be funny, I'm not laughing!" Rodan shrieked. "Whatever would Godzilla see in that wrinkled, old moth? I'm much more attractive than her, you hear me?"
Anguirus was silent for a while after this outburst. "Um... Rodan, old buddy..."
"What?" the bird kaiju squawked in annoyance.
"You are... a female... aren't you?"
"Well, DUH!" she shouted and flapped her wings again. "Of course I am! What ticked you off, Sherlock?"
Anguirus lifted his massive front leg and scratched his head. "Well, um... it's just that I always figured, you know... that you were male?"
"Are you that stupid or do you want to annoy me?" Rodan grumbled. "Everyone can see that I'm a female of my species. Why else would I think Godzilla is the most handsome dinosaur that has ever roamed the face of Earth and..."
She blushed and landed back on the ground. Hiding her beak underneath a wing, she whispered: "I... didn't say that aloud, did I?"
"Um... I guess you did," Anguirus replied.
"Oh gooooddd..." Rodan groaned. "How embarrassing... you're not going to tell him, are you? It's bad enough that I have that other secret I'm hiding from him..."
"You mean that you weren't actually changed to Fire Rodan by his radiation?" Anguirus asked.
"Sssshhhhh!" Rodan hissed. "You want him to hear you? Yes, of COURSE that's what I mean! I mean, how stupid would it be if he found out that I received my fire powers through some sort of tiny wand that appeared in front of my face when I was lying incapacitated on that island? Stuuuupid..."
Anguirus accomplished an unusual feat for a kaiju and sweatdropped. He still believed that story was a bit too weird. In his opinion, Rodan had merely been delirious on that day and had imagined the strange wand. Obviously, it was indeed Godzillas radiation that had turned her into Fire Rodan.
"Let's... just talk about something else, shall we?" Rodan muttered.
"Yes, let's," Anguirus nodded.
For a while, they stayed silent.
"Say, what did that wand look like?"
"Well, it had a strange symbol on it that somehow looked like the human sign for the planet Mars... HEY! I thought I told you to drop the subject!"
Anguirus winced. "Sorry, ma'am..." And he wisely did as he was told and dropped it.
Still, he couldn't help but wonder how a creature like Rodan knew what kind of symbol the humans use for the planet Mars...
The spiked dinosaur let out a melancholic sigh. This reminded him of the sad existence as a kaiju without any supernatural powers, no beam weapon, no heat breath, no flight ability, nada. He wished he would be able to fly to a faraway planet as well...
In the meantime, the battle between Godzilla and Mothra was in full swing. Godzilla let out angry roars while he tried to hit his adversary, while the giant moth replied with shrill squeaks.
For the humans that were forced to watch this brutal exchange of power, it just sounded like the two kaijus were merely shouting at each other, but in fact, they were holding an interesting conversation...
"Why, Godzilla?" Mothra asked. "Why do you always have to attack the humans?"
"Why?" Godzilla roared. "You're really asking me why? I'm gonna tell you why: They are driving me nuts! Again and again they are testing their weapons, their tanks and nuclear bombs and other tools of destruction, and then they are wondering why more and more mutated beings like us are created. And when I show up, may it be because of an accident or because I try to SAVE them from another monster, they always attack me. ALWAYS! Every friggin' time! It's enough to make a monster MAD, you hear me?"
"I can understand that, and I am worried about what they are doing as well. But don't you think i'm not in a similar position? i've been forced to fight my opponents in the human cities as well, and quite often, i've also been the target of the human military. But just keep in mind that were are forces of nature, Godzilla... the humans fear us. Because of our size, we could easily squash one of them and not even notice it. Can you really blame them?"
"OH YES, I CAN!" Godzilla roared and lashed out with his tail, which Mothra barely managed to avoid. "As well as I can blame them for misusing my adoptive son to lure me to where they want me to have! You want Junior to be an emotionally scared child? Is that it?"
"We have to talk to them," Mothra insisted. "My priestesses are in contact with the Japanese government, and they are willing to act as our ambassadors, not just as mine. We can come to an agreement?"
"I can't believe it!" Godzilla screamed. "You really are that dense, aren't you? Humans don't want to live in peace with us. Sure, they might pretend that they only have the best for their planet in mind, but as soon as you turn your back to them, one of them designs yet another killing machine to destroy you!"
"Godzilla, please stop this!" Mothra pleaded. "So many innocent people will have to suffer from your moods... besides, do you want to endanger yourself just because of a few misguided missiles? I've heard they built a new weapon, and they are just waiting for an excuse to try it out..."
"SEE? See, what did I tell you? It's always the same! Those back-stabbing bastards... and do you honestly think some human toy is gonna stop me? I'm going to show them my power..."
"STOP IT, YOU IDIOT!" Mothra screeched. Godzilla stopped his attack and blinked in confusion. He had never heard Mothra this agitated. Upset, sure, angry, definitely, but this... this time she sounded as if something was really hurting her. Not her body, he knew she was resilient against pain. No, it sounded like this pain was something much deeper...
"Dammit, you big dummy! Can you imagine for one second how I would feel if you were gone? I... I'd be all alone, with no one at my side... Monster Island would never be the same... I... I would miss you..."
NOW Godzilla was baffled. Did Mothra truly care for him that much? They weren't even of the same species.
"Um... Mothra, that's not true... I mean, what about Rodan and Anguirus and the other guys... they'd still be there, wouldn't they?"
"But it's not the same!" Mothra wept. Tears as big as hot-air balloons splashed down onto the ravaged fields around Tokyo. "I've been forced to watch again and again how an opponent that looked like it was equally strong or perhaps even stronger than you beat you down, and every time I was afraid that this would truly be the end of you. Don't you see?"
"H-hey, I'm not that easily beaten, you know?" Godzilla said. "Besides, there are still enough giant, mutated dinosaurs on Earth, don't you think?"
"Don't joke about this!" Mothra yelled. "Can't you see I'm in love with you?"
For a short while, everything was silent. The only thing that could be heard was the soft beating of the giant moth's wings. For the humans, it seemed like the two kaiju were just gathering their strength before they attacked each other again.
"You... really mean it?" Godzilla murmured.
Mothra was blushing, but she nodded. "Yes, dammit! Yes, I am in love with you! I've denied it for a long time, but... I can't just ignore my feelings anymore! There, I've said it! Are you satisfied now?"
"But... but Mothra, we... we aren't even the same species... it would never work out!"
"I don't care!" Mothra yelled and threw herself at Godzilla with a massive hug, tackling him to the ground. The watching humans gasped when they saw how easily Mothra threw her enemy down. Now they were certain that she would win this battle.
But Mothra wasn't attacking. She was crying. "I don't care, you hear me? You could look like King Kong or Rodan or Biollante or even like Hedorah, and I would still love you!" She sniffled. "If... if there was any other girl that would want to have you, I would never let them..."
"Hey there!" a cheerful voice behind them spoke up. "Say, what you are doing looks like fun... can I join in?"
Both kaiju looked back up, just to see a huge robot standing in front of them... a robot that looked remarkably like Godzilla himself.
The robot raised its hand and waved. "Hi! I'm MechaGodzilla! But you can call me Minako."
"It's here!" Mothra gasped and flew up into the air. "The military's top secret weapon... run away, Godzilla!"
"That's it?" Godzilla roared as he stood up. "That's the best they can do? A giant tin can that looks like me? Oh come on, humans! Don't make me laugh!"
Just a few hours earlier, it looked like project MechaGodzilla was doomed to be a failure. Hikaru had to explain what kind of program Minako was and how he had programmed her into the headquarter's main computer. Commander Gendo Ikari told him to remove the program and to reinstall the correct A.I. program, but Minako was stubborn. She liked it where she was and raised a firewall that made it impossible for even her creator to remove her from MechaGodzilla... which meant they were stuck with her. When the battle between Godzilla and Mothra came closer and closer to the outskirts of Tokyo, the generals desperately decided to give it a try anyways.
"We still need a pilot," Hikaru reminded them. "Or else many features of the robot can't be used."
"That won't be a problem," the commander said. "Let me introduce you to our pilot... my son, Shinji Ikari!"
And then Hikaru met the short, lanky boy that was supposed to pilot the giant mecha of destruction. It looked to him like this Shinji was even more naive about what was happening than himself.
It was then when Minako noticed her new pilot and greeted him with a chipper: "Oh, hi, you must be my new pilot! I'm Minako, and what's your name? Oh, you really are a cutie... I'm not too sure if I'm ready for such a close relationship, you know, I mean, with a man inside me... would could as well already have sex... oops, I'm talking too much, shutting up now."
It took Gendo half an hour to remove the blush from his son's face and to convince him to climb into that hyperactive war machine.
When sitting inside the cockpit, Shinji briefly looked over the controls and flipped a few switches to activate the manual control.
Minako giggled. "That tickles!"
After leaving the AMF's headquarters, Shinji and Minako needed another 30 minutes to reach the field on which Godzilla and Mothra were fighting (they would have made it in 15 minutes, but on their way, Mina had seen a closing sale of cute summer dresses and had to take a short detour).
When they arrived, they found the huge dinosaur and moth in a... promising position...
"There he is!" Shinji shouted. "Fire laser beam eyes!"
"Now, let's not be too hasty, cutie," Minako said. "Why don't we try the non-violent solution first?"
Shinji struggled with his consoles to make his mech act after his bidding. It was useless... Minako had taken complete control.
She walked up to Godzilla, her hand outstretched. "Hi, you new in this part of town? I'm Minako, nice to meetcha!"
"What... is this some kind of trick?" Godzilla grumbled. This was the first time in his life that a huge weapon of mass destruction hadn't just attacked him on sight.
"No trick," Minako assured him. "I'm just trying to be nice."
"Wait a minute..." Shinji muttered from within her head. He had only heard Godzilla let out a few snorts. "Are you saying that you can understand him?"
"Of course I do!" Minako grinned. "He's got a dialect I can't place, though... think he's from Shinjuku?"
"He's from Monster Island, dammit!" Shinji shouted. "And he's the monster we are supposed to fight, so attack him already."
"Aw, I really don't wanna," Minako pouted.
"Excuse me..." Mothra muttered. "But who are you talking to?"
"Why, my pilot Shinji, of course!" Minako replied. "He's a really nice guy, a bit shy though... say, we haven't been properly introduced, what's your name again?"
Taken aback, Mothra stuttered: "Wh-what... I... I am... my name is Mothra..."
"Ah, I see... and... he's your boyfriend?" She gestured at Godzilla.
"WH-WHAT?" Mothra gasped. "How did you...? I mean n-no, he... he's not... I mean..."
"Ah, that means he's not taken?" Minako grinned. "Maybe that gives me the chance to score... you really are a cutie, you know that, hunkster?" And she coquettishly brushed her metal tail against his organic one.
"Whaaaat the heck are you doing?" Godzilla coughed, jumping back.
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FIANCE, YOU METAL HUSSY!" Mothra screeched.
Minako smirked. "I KNEW it! I knew it the first time I saw you. So, tell me... is he good in bed?"
Before either could give an answer to this interesting question, a shrill, trilling screech came from up above. All three kaiju (the two organic ones as well as the mechanical one) looked up into the sky to watch how a huge, winged, three headed dragon came flying down from outer space.
"I'M KING GIDORAH!" its middle head roared. "AND I'M HERE TO DESTROY ALL OF HUMANITY!"
"Also, I've heard there's a nice closing sale of summer dresses in downtown Juuban..." the left head added.
Godzilla groaned. "Him again? That's what, the third time this year?"
"You really need to get another hobby, Gidorah," Mothra sighed.
Minako watched the arrival with interest. "That a friend of yours?"