Chapter 4

Jude stood there wide eyed. She couldn't look away from him. He was everything she remembered and gorgeous blue eyes were making her heart pound.

He stood in front of them shifting his weight back and forth on his toes.

"Umm yeah I changed my mind".

"I need a shot" she whispered nervously as she turned back towards the bar. She reached over the counter and grabbed the strongest alcohol she could reach. She quickly poured the drink into the shot glass and then put the bottle back. She downed the shot glass as Tommy and Wally stared at her with suprised expressions they werent use to this Jude, neither of them had really seen her drink. She slammed the glass back down ad turned to face them again.

She let out a breathe and then quickly blurted out "I have to pee". Oh nice Jude great havent seen him for two years and your first words are 'i need a shot ' and 'i have to pee' nice great icebreaker she quickly made her way down the short hallway that lead to the bathroom.

She entered the bathroom and closed the door before leaning against it to take in what had just a moment she walked over to the sink and splashed her face with some water. She looked in the mirror while grasping the sides of the sink with her hands "Uhhh ok ...ok...ok I can handle this ..its all good yeah its going to be fine" she takes a step back from the sink and runs her hand through her hair "Oh my god oh my god ...no ..no no no no no! The only way I could go back out there is with lots and lots of alcohol and that will not end well" she sighs while trying to think. Wait a minute ofcourse,the emergency exit, yes I can just leave. Yeah thats good I'll just leave she takes a deep breathe trying to compose herself.

"Ok just calmly walk out and the when you get to the exit RUN!" she nods to herself in determination and opens the bathroom door that leads to the emergency exit was right by the bathroom door so it would not be difficult to make her escape without anyone noticing.

She walked towards the exit and was just about to open it when she hears footsteps behind her. She quickly turned around almost tripping over herself and takes in a breathe when she sees who it it damn it damn it I was so close, I wondered what he'd do if i ran right door is only a couple steps away I could make it. Oh god why does he have to look at me like that, man hes so hot and its even worse now that I know what he looks like naked. His rock hard abs and his strong arms damn it Jude no. Her thoughts were quickly interupted by Tommy's voice.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I...I..I needed some air fresh" she shakes her head when she realizes her mistake "I mean fresh air"

He gives her a disbelieving look "You werent running away again were you?"

"Uh I think we should get back, Wally is waiting for us" she walked towards the bar before he could respond. He followed close behind her as his eyes began to wander. God this would be so much easier if she wasn't so fucking gorgeous he thought. Jude leaned over the bar to grab a bottle and poured herself another shot causing her dress to ride up a little "oh god" Tommy whispered to himself. Oh how he missed that body.

Wally was not at the bar anymore he was now over on the stage with Kyle and and Tommy took a seat at the bar leaving one stool in between sat there in silence for a moment before Jude spoke up, she was feeling a bit more comfortable now.

"So you finally decided to go solo ha?" she asked him with a smile and raised eyebrows.

He nodded while shrugging his shoulders with a smile on his wasn't as bad as he thought it would be except for the whole wanting to put her on the bar and rip off her clothes everytime he looked at her thing.

"I never thought I'd see little Tommy Q back on stage" she said teasingly.

He gave her a playful glare "Well nice to see you haven't changed much. still annoying as ever"he said smiling.

She returned the playful glare. "What about you I mean London?" he said looking around and then returned his gaze to hers.

"Yeah its beautiful here I love it" she smiled.

"So ....your happy?" he asked in a serious tone. She stayed silent trying to find the right loved London it had everything except there was one thing it was lacking...him.

It was hard to answer that. She thought she was happy but now looking into his eyes she felt a hole in her heart that she didn't even know was there until now. She nodded in response, she knew if she spoke he would sense the uncertainty in her with the nod he could still tell that she was unsure of how to reply.

"Jude I-" He was quickly cut off by Jude.

"Chase!" she looked behind Tommy to see Chase making his way to her.

"Hey baby" he said as he lifted her into a they pulled back Jude looked over to see a Tommy glaring at them.

"What are you doing here I thought you were hanging out with Andrew tonight?" Jude asked as she released him and sat down again.

"I was but he cancelled on me and I called the house earlier today and Abby told me you were meeting up with some old friends so I thought I'd come and surprise you." he smiled as he leaned down to kiss hands slid from her hips to her butt. He gently squeazed her bottom totally unaware of Tommy "I wanted to see my baby. I missed you" he whispered in her ear. Tommy heard him and he wanted to kill could she just let him grope her like that what an ass he thought while glaring at the couple.

Jude pulled away "Umm Chase this is Tommy, Tommy this is Chase my boyfriend" she said kinda nervously.

"Hey nice to meet you" He said as he extended his hand to shook his hand and gave him a nod while staring at felt like someone had just stabbed his heart and the longer he looked at them the worse the pain got it was like the knife was still in him while someone was turning it. Jude was his everything then and what hurt the most is that she still was. He didn't want anyone but her and here she was with someone else.

"I need some fresh air" Tommy said as he stalked off towards the felt horrible she wasn't planning on mentioning Chase to Tommy, it would've been too when Chase grabbed her she could tell that Tommy was not only angry and jealous but hurt look in his eyes almost brought her to tears. It hurt her more than anything to know that she hurt him and that this wasn't the first time.

"Umm Chase I'll be right back I uhh have to go to the bathroom" she couldn't tell him she was going after Tommy because that would bring up questions that she did not want to looked at her worried and then nodded. She went down the hallway towards th bathroom. She looked back to make sure Chase couldn't see her and then slipped out through the emergency exit. She took a deep breathe as she walked around the building hoping he was still she turned the corner she saw him standing against the wall. His head was bowed down and he had one foot up against the wall while the other was planted on the ground. He looked deep in thought and was totally oblivious to her presence. It was silent the only noise was her heels clacking against the side walk with every step she took. She was standing right in front of him now. As soon as he saw her heels on the ground in front of him he lifted his head to face was shocked when she saw his face she could see the tears in his eyes. He was trying so hard to keep them from falling but it wasn't just sadness in his eyes it was rage also and it took everything in him to keep himself together. Why does this hurt so bad, it had been two years and out of all the times they had imagined seeing eachother again neither imagined that it would be this awkward. She didn't really know what to say but by the look on his face she could tell he was waiting for her to speak up first. She closed her eyes not being able to look at is hurt expression for one more second.

"Why is this so hard?" she asked. He didn't answer he just stared at her with an empty expression.

"I didn't think it would be this hard" she whispered. She was looking at him pleading with her eyes for him to speak. He was starting to get angry did she think it would be easy,that everytihng was going to be okay and dandy. How could she think that things would be remotely easy between them after what happend. Did she not care at all? And then her boyfriend god she just let him grope her in public. He pushed him self off the wall and angrily and then spoke.

"How could you just let him grope you like that in front of everyone?" he yelled throwing his hands in the air.

She was taken back by this. He was angry because her boyfriend touched her? She hasn't seen him for two years what did he think that she wasn't ever going to date anyone?

"Tommy he's my boyfriend" she said looking at him confused.

"Jesus Jude he grabbed your ass in front of everyone...god what happend to you?"

"Excuse me?" she asked shocked.

He couldn't stop his words. He could feel everything from the past two years just overflowing and they were about to come out.

"God Jude!! Why!?" he snapped at her.

"Tommy he is my-"

"No Jude why did you leave?" his chest was heaving up and down as he stood there with fire in his stood there wide eyed opening and closing her mouth a couple of times trying to form words but the only thing she managed to form were tears.

"Tell me why you left me....I deserve a full explanation Jude!"

"Tommy....I...I needed to learn how survive things on my own.....and we wanted different things...I.." she kept her gaze on her shoes while talking.

"The only thing I wanted was you" he said with a much softer tone now.

"You said yourself that you didn't want the rockstar life and I wanted to have my own adventures too...It wouldn't of been fair because it wasn't what you wanted" she looked up shaking her head.

"Well looks like you got what you wanted ha! I just never would of imagined that you would of turned into a slut!" he knew he was being harsh and rude but he couldn't help it he was angry.

Her eyes instantly turned from sympathetic to furious.

"I can't believe you...what about you ha mr. I don't want the rockstar life, now look at you on a world tour in London with limos and groupies you hypocrite!" Tears were streaming down her face as she yelled at him. He knew his words were un called for and they obviously hurt her.

"Jude I'm...-"

"Save it I don't know why you even bothered to come" she stepped to the curb and held her arm out as a cab came by. It quickly stopped and she opened the door before turning back to Tommy.

"Good bye Tommy" she said as tears streamed down her face. She was gone before he could do anything. He stood there and watched her leave turned and kicked a trash can.

"Damn it!" he yelled as his tears that he had tried so hard to hold back stood there staring at the road where the taxi had dissappeard. He let her go but he wouldn't make the mistake of not going after her this time. He ran back into the bar, he needed to fin out where she lived.

Cut To Jude

She sat in the cab trying to stop the waterfall of tears. The driver gave her a concerned look but did not ask questions he just drove. The radio station caught Judes attention when she heard the host say Tommy's name. She sniffled and whiped her tears away while focusing on the radio hosts words.

"Tommy Q ended his world tour tonight here in London. The stadium has been sold out for weeks. Many fans did not get their tickets fast enough so heres a little something for all the fans out there. Tommy Qs newest hit "What hurts the most".

(It's orginally done by Rascal Flatts but I found this video on You Tube and I like this guy better better)

.com/watch?v=WCq6Y3gTN7M

("What Hurts The Most" By Rascal Flatts)

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me"

She made it a point to never listen to his music because the sound of his voice would be way to hard to hear. Listening to his voice now just made her cry even harder.

"What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do"

Hearing the chorus made her cry harder than she ever had in her life. She Jude Harrison broke Tommy Quincy and she could of had him but she ran away. He loved her with everything he had but she walked away from it all because she thought it was best. Everytime she closed her eyes to wipe away the tears she would see his face. His heart broken face , it was the look he had when she left two years ago and the same look he had when she left two minutes ago.

"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken"

What hurts the most-"

"TURN IT OFF!" she blurted it out so loudly that the Taxi driver swerved a bit to the left. She couldn't hear it anymore it was too painful to listen to his voice an the words that described what she did to him. "TURN IT OFF ...JUST TURN IT OFF NOW!!". The taxi driver quickly turned off the radio and picked up speed. He probably wanted to get the crazy crying screaming woman out of his car as fast as he could. She didn't blame him because she was acting crazy, Tommy always made her crazy. He stopped in front of the building and she got out of the car as fast as possible. The instant she stepped out of the taxi she was flooded with water. It rained a lot in London so she was use to this and at the moment she really didn't care that her white dress was getting paid the driver and slowly made her way up the steps to the building and up to her apartment sobbing and drenched from head to toe.

Back at the bar

Tommy stormed in the bar and walked over to the stage where Abby , Wally, Kyle and Chase were.

"Kyle I need to talk to you" Tommy said in an anxious looked at him confused but nodded and followed him to a vacant corner.

"Look I need to know where jude lives" he said impatiently.

"Wait where is Jude? Did she leave?" kyle asked confused.

"Yes now please just tell me where she lives" he said in a loud whisper.

"Does Chase know she left...oh man Quincy what did you do?"

"Kyle!" Tommy snapped getting more impatient by the second.

"Ok ok dude chill .I don't know where she lives but i'll go ask Abby" Kyle said.

Tommy nodded and watched as Kyle went over to Abby. Luckily Chase was to busy talking to Wally to notice Kyle asking Abby for the address. She looked over at him and smiled while nodding. She took a pen from her pocket and wrote something down on the back of Kyle's frequent firestarter cave man card. Tommy smiled a bit when he saw the card. It reminded him of Judes seventeenth birthday when they got locked in the Chrome Cat when Jude was supposed to go to Cave Man Days for dinner. When Abby was finished writing Kyle walked over to Tommy and handed him the gave a quick nod and thanks before walking out of the bar. It was now raining outside. He quickly flagged down a cab and gave him Jude's address. The apartment building looked familiar. It was the one Jude had shown him when they were in her garage talking after he got out and paid the driver while getting poured clothes were soaked but he didn't really mind. He made his way up into the building and searched for Jude's apartment.

He found it pretty quick cause there was a map in the stopped in front of the door and took a deep breathe before knocking. There was no answer but he knew she was there he could see light peeking out of the crack at the bottom of the door.