A/N: I wish I owned Vesperia, but I do not. All I have is a copy of the game. Now for some hilarity.
Conditions: Yuri, Estelle, Judith, and Rita have been in at least ten consecutive battles together. Also, Yuri's Black Hat must be equipped as his accessory.
Who's Who: Yuri is Normal, Karol is Bold, Raven is Italics, Repede is Underlined
Yuri the Pimp
Yuri!
Yuri!
Woof!
What do you three want?
As the boss of Brave Vesperia, I order you to sit out the next battle!
Huh? What?
What the kid's trying to say is that you've been hoggin' all the attention from the ladies of the group.
(Growl)
I haven't noticed anything.
Yuri! You can't honestly tell me that you haven't noticed that it's been you, Estelle, Judith, and Rita out there, always fighting, leaving me, Raven, and Repede to be ignored!
All I do is fight; whomever I'm working with is something I don't pay attention to.
Well, if that happens to be the case, would you mind getting out of the spotlight long enough for the rest of us to get some action?
Woof Woof!
…You know what? I think I know what the problem is. That hat!
My hat?
Yes! You're plenty badass as it is, but with that hat, the girls find you irresistible!
Kid, you're right! The hat makes him mega-badass and makes him eye candy to the ladies; the hat is a pimp-creator!
Woof! Woof!
Yuri, I order you to give me that hat!
No way, Boss. I spent a lot of money on this thing.
…
…
…
What are you three doing?
GET THAT HAT!
YOU'RE MINE!
AWOOOOOOOOOO!
Whoa!
A/N: Happy Groundhog Day! My friends and I agree: With that black hat, Yuri is badass. With that hat, some say he's a pimp; others say he's with the mob. Me? I just say it makes him a babe magnet, to my great displeasure. Stop hogging the girls, Yuri!