A/N: I was reading the story: How to Make a Trinity Blood OC Work by the author Kusumita, when I come across this fabulous idea for humor/parody: Try an OC that is out of the ordinary. A 70 year old woman who's an old cougar that has the hots for Hugue… I'd totally read that story.
Then I think about it, so why not try writing it out! After all, this is Insanity!!!
By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation.
Special Thank You to Kusumita for letting me "steal" your idea. XD
Thank you to: Passé on an Angel, evilangel990, Crusnik01 and Ninja Wings for taking the time to drop me a review.
Updated on: 12th of May 2007
Insanity - Chapter 9: Harassment.
Written by: Guardian 0 Devil
Pairing(s): Forget about asking me, I will never talk about it. Go figure it out yourself.
Warning: From now on, shameless insertion of me!! Insanity is ensured. Also some mentions of SEXUAL STUFF in this chapter. You're forewarned! –evil snickers–
Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. Oh yeah, I have nothing against homosexuality.
(Somewhere on the street of Londinium)
-Rubbing my forehead to ease the headache I manage to get from mind-reading into Cain's thoughts- I'm still feeling rather cheated and angry at Cain's those stupid antics in proclaiming himself not a virgin and deflowered, while dragging the poor unconscious Abel along for the ride. Go read the previous chapter for further enlightenment.
Therefore, here I am out of Cain's mind for a little break, while looking for something else to occupy my time. Really, I truly must try to get a cable or something. My life's freaking boring and poking fun of Trinity Blood characters in the long run seems like inflicting cruelty and mental or physical abuse on them. I bet they do not really know who's really tormenting them in this story of mine. Nor do they likely want to make acquaintance with me. Whatever. Let's get on with the story.
A figure was walking silently on the dimly lighted street late at night. As the figure moves under one of the brighter street light, it reveals a woman. At first look, the slender woman seems to be in her thirties. With a delicate face of a porcelain doll, she wears a slicking red lipstick and an outrageously bright red dress which could be considered skimpy.
The dress was short-sleeved with a v-shaped cut low in the front, baring a lot of milk-white skin and complimented her shapely figure. At knee-length, the dress parted like waving waters and reveal to the whole world of her nice pair of smooth legs. She was also wearing a pair of black leather boots and wrapping a nice warm black shawl over her shoulders against the cold wind of the night. In her left hand she holds her little silver purse, while strangely in her right hand she holds a walking cane.
However, if you would to looks closely at her, you would find that her pair of black eyes looked very out of place with her seemingly age. They looked to belong to an even older person that had seen many things. Added with the graying wisps of shoulder-length brown hair should say something of her age.
Okay, enough of the description, that's not the whole point of this story. This new character introduced here was named Adina Courtland. If you are curious as well, the name Adina means "slender, delicate" in Hebrew. This is the name of a soldier in the Old Testament. Of course, in modern times it is used as a feminine name. Back to the story.
Adina was enjoying her little walk back to the inn she staying in for the night, after a little disappointing visit to the local bar to hook up a handsome young man for the night. Yes, you read it correctly. She was actually trying to prey on handsome young man for sex. This is as blunt and T-rated as I can get. As for the rest, please use your wonderful power of deduction.
She was thinking happily of meeting her dearest relatives and also their agreeable employers the next day. It had been 3 years since they last met due to Adina's wander-lust and insatiable dream of meeting up handsome young men for sex, but they kept in contact through writing letters. In their previous letters, they seem to be getting along well and they also said something about having nothing much to be excited about. She also got the impression that one of their employers was male and very handsome but otherwise very robotic in response. This surprise visit would surely cheer them up and also her sex-ego too. 'All is right with the world. Yippee!' Adina thought.
As she walked and as usual swayed her way nearer to the inn, a young man with very average looks slips out from the alleyway and moved to stand in front of her, blocking her way. He openly leered at Adina: "My, my… what's a lady like you doing out here at night? How about a dinner date with me?" At this, he gives a feral smile at her showing off his sharp white fangs. Argh, what kind of lousy pick up lines are that?
"No thank you. Firstly, I love handsome males. Secondly, you are too freaking ugly for my taste." replied Adina grimly. Yes, I totally agreed with Adina. Who would ever want to go out with that Loser any way?
And then she used her walking cane to hit the vampire's nose directly, breaking his nose into a bloody pulp in the process. YEAH! SHE SCORED! OLE OLE OLE! And then she runs quickly past him in the hopes of getting into the safety of the inn, which was some distance in front of her. RUN ADINA! RUN TOWARDS THE FINISHING POINT! -Guardian 0 Devil is currently singing a song recursively with something on the lines of 'you are my champion.'-
Too bad for her, the vampire recovers quickly and with a smooth sweep of his leg sent Adina falling face-down on the ground. This caused Adina to have bit her lips and blood break loose from there, dripping a bit down her chin.
Ouch, that's must have hurt a lot. -face cringing-
"Damn Terran. If you have gone along quietly with me, I would have treated you nicely and give you a quick death." said the vampire, who was brutally holding Adina up by her hair.
"OW! OW! OW! STOP PULLING MY HAIR! OW! MY PRECIOUSSSS!" screamed Adina. She's loud, which vaguely remind me of someone.
Wait, I think I spy a Lord of the Rings reference. But that might be my imagination…
"Slut, prepared to face a slow and agonizing death." sneered the aggressive vampire, who's currently find that pulling someone's hair could be so fun, especially said someone was screaming over it. Dude, has anyone ever told you that's not the nicest way to die with all your hair being pulled off for a woman?!
"Let that lady go. If you don't, you shall die." said a tall stranger who was wearing a black priest outfit and a black hood to cover half of his face. Where the hell did he come from?!
"Where the hell did you come from?" shrieked the vampire in shock, his voice goes a few octaves higher. Very surprisingly he spoke out the question that everyone must be thinking about at this moment.
"From that (point, point) alleyway you have come out of." replied the stranger calmly.
"You Have Been Stalking Me?!" once again, the poor Loser shrieked out loud, his voice miraculously goes even higher like a singing soprano. Apparently he's rather freaked out by being stalked by a male Terran. -Rubbing my poor sore ears from all those screaming attacks dealt on it-
However, that does makes so much more sense now. Ah… you people must be silently wondering who this tall male stranger is… Mysterious, mysterious…
Oh well, since I'm not good at writing suspense and so of course to cut to the point, this stranger is none other than Hugue de Watteau. I truly really don't know how Hugue does it, but he always seems to show up when a woman is being attacked by the vampires. Duh, it's so typical of him. -Rolls my eyes up-
"Ha, I will kill her first then you next." replied the vampire haughtily and calmly now. My sincere apologies dearest Loser, you have never stood a chance in ever leaving this chapter alive in the first place…
"Umm… a little help will be appreciated here. This S.O.B. was stronger than me, enough to hold me down and... I can't see clearly. What with all those yellow twinkling stars twirling in a circle in front of my eyes." commented Adina. Hmm… that must have been your hangover of the night for all you ever know.
"Die then." replied Hugue and in a blink of an eye, the vampire was decapitated.
Huh? -blink, blink- Damnit, I did not catch how he does all that cool moves… My eyes are sooooooo not suited enough for the job of capturing fast movements. And yes that's my freaking curse of the day… I mean night.
"Oh my, that's was some a-freaking-mazing sword skills." said Adina, before she fainted.
I bet you people thinks this is pretty anti-climatic that Adina simply faints instead of throwing herself at Hugue. Well dear readers, don't worry about it, you shall see it very soon.
(The next day…)
Adina wakes up to find herself alive and sleeping in the inn's bed. When she asked around, it appears that the unknown, kind stranger had carried her back to the inn and leaves her there without another word. She certainly felt a sense of regret of missing all her excitement and fun in seducing her 'knight in shining armour' into her bed…
Actually, it should be a man of God in a black priest outfit. However, it was not an every day occurrence to be saved by a priest! A skilled swordsman at that! Adina silently wondered how good he is in bed, since she had some experience in that area. Especially those sexually repressed ones are usually the most sexually active ones in the privacy of the bedroom…
Gawd, Adian please stops your trail of thoughts! This story's existence is T-rated! Don't corrupt my readers!
Oh well, it's a 'you win some and you also lose some' situation. At least she's get to appreciate the one of a kind sword skills. Now she should be getting to visit her dearest relatives. She found the address easily, it happen to be an old church nearby.
Strange this looks vaguely familiar… -my left eye said twitch, twitch-
As Adina knocked on the door, a girl opens the door and she was none other than Iron. What the hell?! No wonder this looks so familiar! Um… I mean… Yeah surprise, surprise! -shifty eyes-
"GRAND-MÈRE! (GRANDMOTHER!)" exclaimed Iron VERY LOUD. Apparently she's still in the language thing, except that now she's a great fan of French arts and culture. –Sigh- Same old, same old. Wait, Adina and Iron are relatives. No wonder I find them vaguely familiar. See the family resemblance? They are extremely vocally loud. And nope, I don't meant it in bed at all!
"Why Talitha, you have grown so much taller! Where's Anan?" said Adina happily. Looks like she had no problem understanding Iron at all.
"Il est hors de faire des emplettes pour l'épicerie. Nos employeurs sont dehors pour leur propre travail pour toute la semaine aussi. (He's out shopping for grocery. Our employers are out for their own work for the whole week too.)"replied Iron enthusiastically.
Okay, perhaps it's time for me to explain a bit. Adina Courtland is the 70 years old Grandmother of Talitha Courtland and Anan Courtland. Both Talitha and Anan happened to be first cousins as both their fathers happened to be brothers and sons of Adina. Their unknown and mysterious Grandfather happens to be one of Adina infamous one-night stands. Yes, you read right. Get this new piece of information into your head; I'm still lazy to do the full profiles anyway. Maybe one day I will do it… and then again, maybe not.
Adina was later invited in to stay at the old church for a few days. While the both of them are busy talking, time seems to flies by fast and the evening draws nearer. At about 5.30pm, a knock was heard and Iron went to opens the door to check out. At the door, a tall blond stranger, wearing black priest outfit and carrying a long staff.
"Est-ce que monsieur, avec quoi je peux vous aider? (Sir, what can I help you with?)" asked Iron politely.
The stranger seemed a bit surprise at this and gives a small smile and replied: " La chère dame, mon nom est Hugue de Watteau, un prêtre de Dieu. J'espérais trouver une église de Dieu et demander à rester pour la nuit. Regardant autour, c'était l'église la plus étroite dans le secteur. Est-ce que je peux parler avec celui ayant l'autorité ici? (Dear lady, my name is Hugue de Watteau, a priest of God. I was hoping to find a Church of God and ask to stay for the night. Looking around, this was the closest Church in the area. Can I speak with the one having the authority here?)"
Yeah Hugue again! Go figure, talk about coincidences.
Iron was feeling a bit unsure of how to act as both her employers are out. Just then Adina rush to the door excitedly while screaming: "ANAN!!" and then before Hugue knows what the hell happened, both his cheeks are filled with red smudges of lipsticks and saliva. Eww… that's disgusting… But I have to admit this new image was quite refreshing to see, beside his usual face of calm and silent demure. Hugue looks positively scandalized.
"My dear boy, it's been a while since I last seen you! Come let me have a good look at you!!" With that said Adina proceeds and squint both her eyes and looked at the poor Hugue up and down. I wondered what she will be doing to poor Hugue next.
"Oh my, you have grown so much taller. What's this?" she gave a pinch of his arse and then slaps it hard, which greatly surprised Hugue seeing that he jumps a little. Adina continues to squeal: "Oh sweet lord, the years have been kind on you! Look how firm and bouncy your arse is!!" Hmm… that's a juicy piece of information. Hugue's having a nice piece of arse. Yummy, I would love to have a piece of it… -cough, cough- Ah sorry, I was carried away.
"Umm… Madame… I think" Hugue was trying to explain and get out of the woman's bear hug. But it was futile on his part, Adina was extremely strong. Which also clears up where Iron got her uber-super-inhuman strength from…
"Oh sweet Anan! What this?" Adina exclaimed loudly while she proceeds in slipping her hand underneath Hugue's clothes to feel around. "You have been working out I see." Of course, Adina was feeling around Hugue's beautifully structured six-packed abs. Whatever are you people thinking of anyway? Hello? Remember that this story is under T-rated existence?
"Grand-mère, il n'est pas Anan. Ici, mettez-dessus vous des verres. Il est Hugue de Watteau, un prêtre de Dieu et de demander une nuit de rester à cette église... (Grandmother, he's not Anan. Here, put on your glasses. He's Hugue de Watteau, a priest of God and asking for a night to stay at this church…)" said Iron, looking sheepishly apologizing at Hugue, while she hands Adina her pair of glasses. Did I ever mention that Adina was seriously myopic in the eyes?
Adina puts on her pair of glasses and looked once again at Hugue and then she gives another energetic outburst: "OH! I recognized you! You are the one who saved me from that stupid vampire last night!! MY HERO! Please accept my appreciation and thanks!!!"
Before Hugue can react, he suddenly found himself reluctantly holding Adina up from falling off as she circled both her legs tightly around his waist while ravishing thoroughly his mouth with a very experienced French kiss...
"EWW! I am truly traumatized, to have seen a 70 year old cougar kissing a young man that is at least 40 years younger and who's a priest some more. Darn, someone please erase this bad mental image…" commented someone.
Adina broke off her kiss and glared hotly at the person who interrupted her: "Ah there you are, Anan!" The said person who had come back from shopping for grocery.
"Just call me Vampy, I prefer it over the other name I have. Who the hell would named their son Cloud?" complained Vampy unhappily.
"Vos parents. (Your parents.)" commented Iron with a sweet smile on her plump face.
For your curiosity, Talitha means little girl in Aramaic, while Anan means Cloud in Hebrew. Poor Vampy (Anan that is). However, I do know one certain character in Final Fantasy VII that's named Cloud Strife; so dearest Anan, you're not alone in this.
"Come Anan, Thalitha. Greet Hugue nicely! He's the one who saved my arse and protect my chastity last night from a vampire! And he's staying for dinner and the night!" squealed Adina.
Vampy rolls his eyes up: "As if you have got any morality left in you. What's with you chasing after every hot and handsome young man that crosses your line of sight for sex?"
"How about because the sex in the end was soooooo fan-freaking-tastic?" said Adina coyly while batting her eyes at Hugue like a blushing 20 year old. Argh, stops that. Really, I strongly agreed with Vampy that a 70 year old cougar kissing young men is truly very traumatizing. Gawd… the bad mental image…
Then he gives a look-over at Hugue, who's still holding Adina reluctantly, and continued: "But I have to admit you do have good taste." And then Vampy proceed to pinch Hugue's arse. Well, everybody let us sing Ricky Martin's song of 'Shake your Bon Bon!'
Wait. Vampy's gay? I did not foresee about that. Hmm… the possibilities…
Poor Hugue getting a lot of molestations in a single day… Fun though. –snickers-
(Inside the old church's kitchen.)
It was around 6.00pm, that Adina finally let go of Hugue and invited him in. As evening was fast approaching, Vampy went to the kitchen and prepared for dinner. He does not trust Iron to come and help out, what's with her inhuman strength and her knack of breaking things.
He also does not trust Adina enough to be in the kitchen. Who knows what she will be adding in the food next. Vampy vividly remembered hatefully, that Adina adds in an extra ingredient last time she help prepared dinner.
Just what did she add? I see the question you readers had in mind which also appears floating in the air. Adina added in the powder form of Viagra into the food. 'Argh… The pain in the arse because of it…'thought Vampy.
NO! I never meant it literally. So get your mind out of the sewage system.
"May I help in preparing dinner too. This is the least I could do for your kind hospitality." cuts in a voice.
Vampy jumps like 2 feet high into the air, nearly knocking off the table in the kitchen and spun around to see who's talking. It was Hugue, possibly just having a narrow escape from Adina's clutches by coming into the kitchen wholly forbidden by Vampy.
"Darn. You sure are silent on your feet and give me quite a scare just now. Whatever, help me cut those carrots, onions and peels the potatos. I'm cooking some beef stew tonight." said Vampy.
Hugue silently moves to the ingredients, the chopping board and the chopping knife to a table and starts chopping the onions expertly. Sweet lord, I absolutely love handsome men that know how to cook.
"Why do you call yourself Vampy?" asked Hugue suddenly.
"Perhaps due to the fact that I do have an unknown Methuselah for a Grandfather." replied Vampy.
"Vampire." hissed Hugue softly, he clutches the chopping knife in his hand hard.
"Haha, Surprise? For hundreds of years, the real distinction between a Terran and Methuselah has long been forgotten. The truth is, the Methuselah is just a Terran who happens to be infected with a Bacillus. In the past, this Bacillus would turn an infected into a "monster" or animal hungry for blood, nevertheless the Methuselahs refuse to be called "vampires"." replied Vampy with a wry tone.
"The term "Methuselah" was taken from Noah's grandfather who was rumored to have lived for 900+ years. Not all people however are compatible with the Bacillus. If for instance, if you get bitten by a vampire and the Bacillus enters your bloodstream somehow, you do not necessarily turn into one. In fact, the likelihood is you either get your brain damaged, the Bacillus in your blood will be dormant and act as red blood cells or some other form of reaction." Vampy continued on.
"What kind of reactions are you speaking about?" Hugue ask warily, a hint of murderous intention in his voice.
"Truth is, there are different reactions among people who are infected with the Bacillus. It needs to be "awakened" in order for its effect to take place. When it lies in your blood and is dormant, it looks and acts like a normal red blood cell. A Methuselah may be able to walk under the sun and use silver at this point. This is the reason why these vampires have a memory of being under the sun and being able to eat using silver utensils. Oh yeah, do you mind pass me the salt please?"
Hugue politely pass the bottle of salt to Vampy. Such a gentleman. But then the killing glare of his is enough to turn off any other improper thoughts…
"When the Bacillus awakens, it starts its effects in the body. There are several main effects of the Bacillus awakening; Sensitivity to sunray, slowing down of the aging process, reaction towards silver and repressed reproductive system. These effects could happen over a period of time, or it could just happen in one go." said Vampy unwarily; not sensing his life seems to be in great danger.
"So what do you know about the cause of sensitivity to sunray and reaction towards silver?" asked Hugue, now with curiousity. Though he did not let his guard down, seeing that he's still holding the chopping knife in his hand. It's a good thing I'm not a vampire, I never ever want to get onto his bad side of it…
"UV Light increases the activity of the Bacillus in the infected's blood stream. It increases their activity so much, to the point that the Bacillus consumes everything in its path. This gives the image of a vampire, who is subjected to exposure under UV light, of "burning". The truth is, the Bacillus is just eating every single cell in the vampire's body…" Vampy paused a little while here, catching his breathe and thinking about it.
"You could say that the Bacillus is consuming the vampire from the inside. The smoke coming out of an event such as this is caused by water vapour brought about by this chemical reaction, and not because the vampire is burning. An event such as this will only leave the bones of the vampire, looking as if it has been licked clean, and removed of it's bone marrow. When the Bacillus finally consumes everything, it consumes one another until they are annihilated." Vampy continued on happily, seeing that he had an audience, still oblivious to the danger.
"Silver temporarily stops the activity of the Bacillus. This means that once it reacts with the Bacillus, it renders them useless, and hence the vampire becomes more of a human. The silver does not kill in itself, it is the fact that the vampire becomes more of a human, that stab or shot on the vital organs will obviously be fatal. Some vampires drink liquid silver in order for them to temporarily walk under the sun. This liquid silver is made such that it minimizes the discomfort on the consumer's part." Vampy continued talking and still very unaware that Hugue is standing behind him, his chopping knife posed for an accurate attack of giving immediate death…
Sometimes ignorance is really a bliss in disguise…
"You're saying that you drink liquid silver so as to walk under the sun." said Hugue flatly.
"Oh, you got me wrong. Another effect of being infected with the Bacillus is the repression of their reproductive system. If a human male being has intercourse with a female vampire, though she is less likely to be pregnant, her offspring will become a vampire. However, if a human female has intercourse with a male vampire, the offspring will just be a normal human. This is true unless the human female turns into a vampire during such intercourse, through the exchange of bodily fluids."
"So what are you actually? A human or a vampire?" asked Hugue icily. –Shivers- Meep, now he's absolutely scary.
"Both me and my cousin Iron are humans if you're that worried, seeing that both my father and Iron's father are born as normal humans." said Vampy sadly.
"You are related?" asked Hugue in surprise.
"Why yes, Iron is my first cousin, seeing that her father and my father are fraternal twins. Adina Courtland happens to be our Grandma, who has a fling with an unknown Methuselah." replied Vampy with an amused tone over his unusual family tree.
Hugue then walks back to the chopping board and continues chopping away the onions, silently absorbing all the information given. Vampy try to engage Hugue in a talk but was only given a monotonous answers of 'yes' and 'no'. Frustrated, Vampy went over to go through his bag of grocery. That's when he finds out he's missing one of the ingredients. "Strange, where did it gone? Whatever, I will find it later. For now we need to prepare dinner." mumbled Vampy.
(At the dining table.)
Time now is around 7.30pm. The dinner is spread out deliciously over the dining table. Adina was sitting on the right side of Hugue. Vampy was sitting opposite of Hugue while Iron sits beside Vampy and facing Adina. Hugue said a little prayer and then the dinner starts.
Of course, a polite conversation was engaged.
"Anan, ce qui vieux puma signifie vraiment réellement? (Anan, what does old cougar really means actually?)" asked Iron curiously.
"An old cougar is one of those older than your mother type of women who look good for their age (or plastic surgery) that go after young men for sex. They wear skimpy, too young for their age clothing and try to act fifty years younger." replied Vampy and pointedly looks at Adina for effect.
To which, Adina bristled her hackles up. A look in her eyes promises that Vampy will really get the taste of vengeance from her. While Hugue observed all this with his patented 'I'm so cool' face. Really, maybe someone should sue him for it. He's looked too perfect with it.
"Anan, pourquoi avez-vous pincé le cul de Hugue plus tôt ce soir? (Anan, why did you pinch Hugue's arse earlier this evening?)" asked Iron innocently. However, her question caused Hugue choked on his food. Thank you Iron, your contribution in tormenting Hugue will not be forgotten.
"Hugue! Let me help you!" squealed Adina at the chance to touch Hugue as she patted hard on Hugue's back. Woman, stop your mad cooing over the guy if you still want to continue to live your life! I'm serious, what with all those much younger fans out there really to strangle you… Besides, I don't intend to die young too. -Shifty eyes-
"Oh about that," he looked slyly at Hugue, then at Adina before he continued: "It's because I find Father Hugue extremely attractive."
This caused Adina to look up in surprise at Vampy's direction and asked: "What do you mean by that?"
"Grandmother, there's something I believed you should know, but it will be hard for you to accept this truth about me. It means that your grandson, that is me, is gay." replied Vampy smugly. "There, I explained my reason." and Vampy waited curiously observing Adina's reaction. He expected Adina to be either screaming at him for being gay or accepts that he's gay and leaves it at that.
However, Adina's next move is not what anyone expected.
"Talitha, please be a dear and pass me that bowl of mashed potato." came Adina's reply.
"Umm… Hello, Grandmother? I just said I was gay, could you please at least said something of what you think about this important matter?" asked Vampy puzzled.
"Oh Hugue! You definitely must try this wonderful sweet beef stew!" exclaimed Adina loudly. It's obviously that Adina is entirely ignoring Vampy.
"HELLO! YOUR GRANDSON HAD JUST COME OUT OF THE CLOSET AND ADMIT TO THE WHOLE WORLD THAT HE'S GAY! SURELY YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING TO SAID TO HIM?!" shouted Vampy, who's feeling increasingly frustrated and not having the correct attention that he feels he should be receiving.
"Anan, my dear boy." said Adina solemnly. Which caused Vampy to flinch slightly and suddenly regret that he shouted so loud to get his point across. He wondered what Adina would do to him…
"Would you mind pass the pepper?" asked Adina, with a beautiful smile on her delicate face. As if she had not even heard about Vampy's confession of being gay… Or that she just totally refused to acknowledge it by ignoring about Vampy's little outburst.
Hugue and Iron both watched this exchange of words silently. I silently wondered whatever really had happened here. Argh. I am still freaking clueless about what transpired over here!!!
Oh well, the rest of the dinner is continued with much more heavy silence, until Hugue choked once more on his food. After he calms down, he said: "Madam Adina, I would really appreciate that you keep your hands to yourself."
It seems that Hugue had felt someone was touching and stroking his lower portion of his right leg underneath the table. So his first suspicion is pointed at Adina, seeing that she always like touching him without permission. However, Adina innocently raises both her hands up into the air. The touching on his leg sneaks further up to his knees.
Hugue then stared pointedly at Vampy who's sitting opposite of him for he remembered that Vampy had commented that he found Hugue attractive. Vampy catching his glare follows Adina's move and also raises both his hands up. The sneaking touching had now proceeded nearer to his upper thighs. This time Hugue, Adina and Vampy turns their heads as one to stare at Iron.
"Thalitha, kindly remove your hands from my Hugue at once." growled Adina, feeling a bit possessive over her possible sex interest for the night.
"Huh? Que voulez-vous dire par celui? Ne pouvez-vous pas me voir utilise-t-vous mes deux mains pour manger ce pilon de poulet? (Huh? What do you mean by that? Can't you see I'm using both my hands to eat this chicken drumstick?)" asked Iron in huge puzzlement. Indeed both her small hands are occupied in holding the chicken drumstick.
So if it's not Adina, Vampy and even Iron, just who the hell is touching Hugue's leg underneath the table? It can't be that Hugue is touching himself for fun, right?
…By the way, I Did Not Implied It As Innuendo At All…
Therefore, Vampy and Iron got around to their side of the table. All of them are watching intently down at Hugue's lap which is covered by the white table cloth. As he lifted it up, what they saw shocked them into inaction and screaming out responses…
Yes, even I am also quite distressed by this event too. I bet anyone would be feeling very out of your mind if you ever find it on your leg, inching closer to your inner thighs.
Vampy: "My missing ingredient!" Why can't he at least have the sensibility to keep track of things.
Iron: "Pourquoi n'était-il pas a-t-il fait cuire aussi ? J'apprécierais plus de nourriture. (Why wasn't it cooked too? I would appreciate more food.)" –Sigh- Please at least have the politeness to be considerate to others than thinking about having more food.
Adina: "I would never look at it in the same way again." -Rolls my eyes up again- Woman, why can't you keep your mind free of dirty thoughts for just a moment? Would you really like to see me try using a bar of soap to wash your dirty mind?
Hugue: "… …What is this thing doing on my leg?" Poor guy, I give you my heartfelt sympathy. Really I mean it!
Well, it was a living and crawling crab found on the upper thigh of Hugue's right leg. Yes seriously, that's Vampy's missing ingredient. Surprise, surprise!
However, dear readers, I simply can't take it anymore. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hugue gets molested once again!! BY A CRAWLING, FREAKING ALIVE CRAB NONETHELESS!!!! WAHAHAHAHA!!
Please excuse my uncontrollable desire for laughter. My sincere apologies to you, dearest Hugue. Now back to the story.
Before the crab can do anymore serious damages to Hugue, as in physically assault him in any way, Vampy deftly caught the crab's pinchers with his hands and walks off to the kitchen and cook it for Iron's consumption.
Still, the mental image of Hugue being molested by a living crab is seared deeply into my mind. Now I really can't look at the crabs the same again too. Maybe I shouldn't have written it down…
(Later that night)
It was about 11.15pm late at night. Hugue helps Vampy to clear up the table after dinner and also washes the dishes. After an excitable evening with that 'crab affair', Adina, Vampy and Iron turn in early for sleep.
Hugue was feeling a bit of restlessness; therefore he was standing in front of the altar in the old church and practicing his staff-sword. Wearing only his long black trousers by the way. Ohh… look at those tasty, sweaty muscles. –drools-
After Hugue had finished up his daily sword practice. He walked towards the public bathroom to get a nice hot shower. After that he returned to his room and was not very surprised to see Adina sprawled inelegantly and sleeping on his bed. Hugue sort of expected it, when he had been picking bits and pieces of information in the evening.
Adina had tiptoed into Hugue's room and was apparently waiting for Hugue to show up by presenting herself seductively on his bed. However, Adina fell asleep after waiting patiently and bored to death in Hugue's room. What Adina does not know was that Hugue was having a sword practice to avoid this kind of situation.
Hugue's mouth twitched as if he wants to smile. Being the gentleman he was, he covered Adina up with the bed sheet considerately and makes careful pains in not waking her up. Who knows what will Adina resort to do in order to get Hugue in bed. Then he searches around for his clothes and went out of the room.
(The next morning)
Hugue left a note thanking Adina, Vampy and Iron for their kind hospitality. Adina sighs regretfully and was trying to recount the event when she touched Hugue's nice abs…
Damnit! She's really a sex-pervert. Thankfully, Vampy and Iron did not inherit this from her at all.
(End of chapter 9)
A/N: Yippee! I have done it! I hope you people like that and it gives you laughter too! By the way, I'm doing requests for this story! So do review and tell me about it too!
This is the longest chapter I have written so far! Oh man!