Warnings: Language. Implied situations.

Pairing: Zexion/Larxene

Sassy's Note: Eh… I'm kinda whatever about this chapter, but maybe it will amuse someone.

Shower

"Larxene!!" Zexion screeched, stomping out of the bathroom with only a towel held about his hips.

"Yes, darling?" came the pleasant reply.

Zexion growled. "Why the fuck is all the shampoo in the bathroom pink and flowery!?"

"I wouldn't have a clue, dear."

Zexion finally found his roommate sitting at their little table sipping warm tea.

"Larxene, while it is perfectly normal for you to smell like a powder-puff, I personally detest smelling like flowers. Now," his eyes narrowed at her passive face, "What happened to all of my shampoo?"

Larxene calmly took another sip of tea before answering. If you must know… Marluxia and I thought you needed a bit of… charm in your life. So… we threw out all of your old shampoo and bought you some more."

Zexion blinked rapidly for a few seconds, processing this. Finally, when it had sunk in, he drew himself up to his full height – which wasn't much taller than Larxene – and indignantly demanded, "You let Marluxia buy me shampoo!?"

"He has great taste when it comes to this kind of stuff. Oh, you have some conditioner, too. Your hair could use it.

Zexion fumed silently for a moment, dripping water all over the floor without noticing. Finally, he sighed and rubbed his temples. "I have to be at work in an hour, and I doubt my coworkers would ever let me live down coming to work while smelling like a French whore. Luckily, I have a special reserve of shampoo set aside for long trips, but when I get home tonight, I want my shampoo replaced and that flowery nonsense gone!"

With that, he stomped back into the bathroom. His roommate just smirked.

---

"LARXENE!!"

The female blinked at the bathroom door, which burst open at that moment, emitting a furious Zexion, once again naked save for a towel and dripping all over the place.

"Yes?"

"When I said replace the shampoo," he seethed. "I did not mean replace it with strawberry-kiwi scented sludge!"

"Well, it's not pink."

"It's lime green!"

"But not pink."

"Lime green strawberry-kiwi is hardly masculine!!"

Larxene sighed and propped her head up on a fist. "Green is masculine."

"Kiwis are not!"

"Okay, okay. You can be boring with your normal shampoo. Just don't expect me to shower with you anymore."

Zexion paused. So it was down to blackmail, was it? Well, he could play her game.

He sighed. "Fine, the shampoo can stay, but I am not using the conditioner."

Larxene grinned maliciously. "Deal. I'll be in there in a bit, babe." She winked at him.

---

A few days later found Zexion sitting at the table, casually talking with a couple of his friends. Larxene was in the shower with all the horrid strawberry-kiwi scented shampoo. It had been the first time she hadn't just showered with him in quite a while.

And, no, he hadn't taken his revenge.

Not yet.

"Hey… Zexy?" Demyx asked suddenly.

"Hmm?

"Did you hear that?"

"Oh, hear what?"

Axel looked around. "Sounds like someone's dying in the bathroom," he commented. "Is Larxene drowning?"

Zexion grinned evilly, which Demyx noticed before Axel did, which turned out to be good for the blond, for when the bathroom door swung open and out barreled a screaming Larxene, completely naked, he was able to dive underneath the table to prevent irreversibly brain trauma. Axel just stared, eyes wide as the sopping wet blond woman screamed at Zexion.

"What did you do!?" she screeched, clutching at her short hair. "What did you do to the shampoo?"

"Oh, that's not shampoo," he said casually.

"WHAT IS IT!?"

"Glue."

The screaming that followed would most likely be the cause of any and all ear trauma later in life for either Zexion, Axel, or Demyx, but Zexion figured it was worth it.

Ah, revenge was sweet, even if Larxene never showered with him again.

-end-

Sassy: Bleh. Hate the pairing, but I was bound by my set rules. Which said nothing about these having to be romantic, so there you go.

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