Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters...I own nothing but this story's plot!!!

Chapter 12:

The Way I Loved You

"So I cannot thank you enough for coming over to help me with Jamie today," Haley told Lucas as he entered her home on Monday morning. "He has been super crabby since Nathan had to go back for basketball practice."

"Well I understand. The little guy loves his dad. I'm just glad I can help you guys out," he told her. "But just one questions. Where are Brooke and Rachel? I mean, I just figured with them being here you would have asked them to watch Jamie."

"Well I would have, but Rachel is off gallivanting with this Dean Winchester guy from Nathan's basketball team. She went back to Charleston with them for the game tomorrow. So things must be going pretty well on that front. And Brooke was taking Olivia and hanging out with Mouth today. She said they needed to catch up or something. She volunteered to take Jamie, but it is hard enough to try to have a conversation with one child. I can't imagine if she had two to deal with," Haley explained to him, practically in one breath.

Lucas nodded his head understandingly. He was disappointed Brooke was off with Liv somewhere, but maybe he and Jamie could find them.

"So you can Jamie can do whatever. I have to run to the grocery store and then I am coming home to wash clothes so Jamie and I can get ready for Nathan's basketball game tomorrow," she said, grabbing her purse off of the counter and slinging it over her shoulder.

Lucas raised his eyebrows. "I did know you were going to Nathan's game," he said, looking at her awaiting her response.

"Yeah, well," Haley shrugged. "Since the whole wedding thing is not happening now, I actually have time to go watch my husband play. And as sorry as I am about your engagement, I cannot say I am going to miss the bridezilla version of Peyton freaking out on me every two seconds," she laughed, showing him that she was totally exaggerating.

Lucas forced himself to laugh and hoped it didn't sound too fake. He was certain that breaking off his engagement to the blonde was for the best. In fact, when he thought about it, it only made him angrier, instead of sad. He was mad at himself, that he had fallen for her lies and been made into a fool.

"Luke, I'm sorry," Haley apologized, touching her friend's arm. "I know those wounds are still fresh. I won't mention it again."

"Thanks Hales," he answered honestly. Because frankly, if he could just forget the whole situation, he would be a whole hell of a lot happier with himself. And then, he might actually be able to look himself in the mirror and not hate the person staring back at him, the person who made all the wrong decisions and ended up screwing over the people he cared most about.

"Well, I'm gone," Haley called out as she opened the front door of her home. "I'll be back in about an hour or so. And if you and Jamie go anywhere just try to have him back by 4 so we can leave before it gets dark."

"Will do, Hales," Lucas saluted her as she walked out of the door. And he turned around to go find Jamie.

"Brooke," Mouth called over to her from where he was sitting on a picnic table in the crowded park.

She waved back and pulled Olivia over with her to where her friend was sitting. The park had more people in it than Brooke had ever seen there. She wasn't sure, but it was as if a famous person was about to show up or something.

"Hey stranger," Brooke greeted Mouth as she leaned down to give him a hug. Then she took a seat on the other side of the table from him.

Olivia followed in suit with her mother. "Hi Mouthie," she said, quietly as she waved at him. Then she climbed onto the bench beside her mother.

"I was starting to think you guys weren't going to show," Mouth told them, starting to set out the picnic lunch her had packed for himself and his two dates.

"Us? Stand you up?" Brooke questioned, feigning hurt. "Never, buddy. Besides, when you offered food, I was totally there," she winked at him.

Mouth laughed. "I figured that would get you. I hate it that Rachel couldn't come though," he said, letting a flash of disappointment spread across his features.

"Yeah, she did too," Brooke said, taking one of his hands and giving it a quick squeeze. "But you know Rach, of course she has met a guy. And she is off having fun…which by the way is actually her middle name," she laughed.

"Mommy," Auntie Rachie middle name not fun," Olivia corrected her mom. "Her middle name is Virginia, like me. Remember, Mommy?" She asked her, she had not yet grasped the concept of figurative language.

Brooke and Mouth both erupted in a fit of laughter.

"Man, I see why you keep her around," Mouth said through his laughter. "She is priceless."

"I know. I just love her so much," Brooke said, bending down and kissing Olivia on top of the head. "She's my angel. Isn't that right, Livvie-Love?"

Olivia smiled widely, and nodded her head in agreement. "I loves you too, Mommy."

Mouth observed the two together. She was so obviously Brooke made over, despite the sandy hair and blue eyes. Now that he knew the truth about her paternity, he questioned himself on why he hadn't picked up on it before. It wasn't like he had never seen a picture. But thinking back, maybe he had always seen it, but hadn't wanted to admit it. Because it would only mean one thing, that one of his friends had done something that would have totally disappointed him.

"Brooke, I'm glad Lucas knows," He told her, with a supportive smile. "I mean, and I know it's not your fault that he didn't," he said, and upon receiving a surprise look from Brooke, he added, "Rachel told me everything last night."

Brooke pursed her lips together and nodded in understanding. She was glad Lucas knew too. And on top of that she was kind of relieved he hadn't just abandoned his daughter. But she was still confused about the whole situation and really didn't know how to handle it.

"What did Auntie Rachie telled you?" Olivia asked, looking up from the sandwich she had been munching on to look Mouth straight in the eye.

"Oh, nothing," Mouth said, waving off the little girl's question. He hadn't thought she would actually be listening to their conversation. But he should have known better than to assume anything less than the child of Brooke Davis.

"Uh huh," Olivia argued. "You said something about Lukie," she told him matter-of-factly.

Brooke's eyes bugged out as she looked down at Olivia. She held up her hand to Mouth, instructing him not to answer any further. "Liv, honey, do you want to go play on the jungle-gym over there?" She asked her, trying to distract her from what had previously been on her mind.

"Okay," Olivia shrugged her shoulders and popped off the bench. "Come play with me, Mouthie!" She squealed and pulled on his hand.

As he was being drug away, Mouth turned back to Brooke and mouthed, "Sorry about all that."

"Its fine," she answered, as she waved her hand dismissively at him. She tried to turn her attention back to her lunch, but it was to no avail. Her stomach had already turned. And she had definitely lost her appetite.

Brooke was so engrossed in watching Mouth and Olivia playing that she didn't hear the footsteps quickly approaching from behind her.

"Hey Brooke," Jamie called when he reached her side.

"Hey yourself, little man," Brooke told him, scooping him up into her lap. "What are you doing here?" She asked him. She hadn't seen Haley anywhere around.

"Uncle Lucas brought me," Jamie answered as he pointed to where Lucas was appearing in the distance. "I was racing him to the swing set, and I totally won," he said, smiling proudly.

"Well you haven't beaten him yet," she told him. "You better rush over to the swings before he gets over here." And she sat Jamie back on the ground and watched him run away happily.

"Hi Brooke," Lucas said from out of the brunette's line of vision. He stood behind her casually with his hands in his pockets, having so much to say but not really knowing how to say it.

His voice made her turn around, and she gave him a short smile. "Hi," she said, before turning back to where her daughter, Mouth, and Jamie were now playing. She didn't know why she was being so short with him. It was as if she had programmed her brain to react this way and she was unable to change it.

Lucas shrugged off her seemingly uninviting greeting and took a seat across from her anyway. "I didn't know you were going to be here. I don't want you to think I'm trying to stalk you or anything," he explained to her, trying to elicit a laugh, a smile, anything from the brunette.

"I didn't think you were," Brooke said, now turning her full focus to him. "Look Lucas, I know you want to be in Olivia's life. And I know I have been less than perfect when it comes to dealing with the whole situation—"

Lucas cut her off with his words. "I think you've handled the situation the way anyone would. It's hard and confusing when you have to deal with an unexpected change of events."

"I know," Brooke said, somewhat annoyed. "Can I just finish my sentence? This is hard enough to say without being interrupted every two seconds."

"Sorry," Lucas responded sheepishly. "Go ahead," he told her, gesturing with his hand for her to proceed.

"Thank you," she said, folding her arms over her chest. "Now, I know I haven't exactly been Miss Merry Sunshine when it comes to dealing with me and the whole situation. But I am trying. Don't think for a second that I am trying to close you out. I won't do that to Olivia…or to you."

"Thanks Brooke," Lucas said, nodding appreciatively. "I hate to ask you this, but, have you told her?" And upon receiving a confused look from Brooke he rephrased his question. "Have you told Olivia that I'm her father yet?" He asked, looking at her expectantly for an answer.

Brooke looked down at her hands and then quickly back up at him again. "No, I haven't told her," she answered him, shaking her head from side to side.

Lucas looked at her disappointed. He was really ready to have that father-daughter relationship with Olivia. He had already missed out on so much and he didn't want to miss anything else.

"Don't look at me like that, Lucas," Brooke warned, pointing her finger at him. "It's not like I am keeping it from her to hurt you. I have to think about Liv. This is going to shake up the little world she has come to know. And how will she feel when we have to go back home?" She asked, pleading with him to see her side.

Lucas hung his head. He knew all the information would be hard for her to process, but he just wanted to be there for her. And what was all this about going home, they were home. "Going home?" He asked her, confused. "Brooke you are finally home."

"Lucas," she said, not wanting to break his spirits. "This is just a trip, a vacation. We don't live here, and I haven't live here for some time now. You didn't actually think we were going to stay. I have a job, and Rachel is starting school, and it is my home now."

"But Brooke," he tried to reason with her. "You belong here. And I have a right to Olivia. How can you just bring her into my life and then snatch her away just as quickly?" He asked, his voice getting more intense as his emotions rose.

"Is that what you think I am doing?" She asked, now taking a defensive stance. "Lucas, I am simply living my life, the same as I have been doing for the past four years. I am not going to drop everything because you suddenly came into the picture. Everything is not about you!" She screamed, standing up from the table and throwing her half-eaten sandwich at him.

Lucas dodged the flying food and stood up too. "She's my daughter Brooke, just as much as she is yours," he said, speaking through his teeth.

"Really?" She snapped back. "Try telling her that. Let's see who was there when she had the stomach flu so bad that she had to be hospitalized? Or who was there when she had her first dance recital? Or, I don't know, who was there when she was born?" She was trying to fight back her tears, but she couldn't stop them from welling up in the corners of her eyes.

"That's not fair, Brooke. If I would have known I would have been there," he said, feeling guilty, even though he knew it wasn't entirely his fault.

"But you weren't," she told him, hitting him hard on the chest with both hands. "And you can thank you precious Peyton for that. I hate her," she said, hitting him again. "And I hate you," she repeated, beating him in the chest as her tears fell freely.

"Brooke, stop," he urged. "You don't mean that," he told her, grabbing her arms and trying to calm her down.

"Yes I do!" She screamed. "Now let go of me," she said as she struggled to get away, still crying. "Let go of me, Luke. Let me…" she let her words break off as she finally melted into his embrace.

"There, there. It's okay, pretty girl," he told her, rubbing small circles on her back as he held her close to him. Pretty much everyone around was staring at them now, but he just kept on trying to comfort her, ignoring the looks that were being thrown their way. Right now, it was just the two of them in the park.

Brooke had left the park shortly after she had recomposed herself from her little mental breakdown. She still couldn't believe she had gone off like that, but ever since she had arrived back in Tree Hill her emotions were much like a ticking time bomb and you never knew just what might set her off.

Once back at Haley's, she had retreated to her room where she had put Olivia down for her afternoon nap. Luckily, the little girl was pretty tired from the eventful few hours they had at the park and was out in about fifteen minutes.

Brooke had also brought Jamie home and given him a bath and sent him off for his nap as well. Shortly after Haley arrived home and she and Jamie left for Charlotte. They wanted to see Nathan for a bit before it was too late for her to function.

So now, here she was, basically alone in a strange home. Of course she had Olivia there with her. She was never totally alone when she had her, but she just felt…distanced. She felt distanced from everyone in her life, and it wasn't just physical…it was emotional too. She guessed that's just what Tree Hill did to her. Maybe that's why she never came back all those years ago.

Olivia was out like a light, she figured she would wake up right about the time to eat dinner. Normally she wouldn't let her sleep so long, but being here her schedule was all off and she wasn't being as strict with it as she normally was.

She paced around her room aimlessly for a few minutes before deciding to go downstairs and fix herself a snack—a good and fatty snack. Haley had to have some ice cream in this house, didn't she?

She dug through the freezer and found a pint of Baskin Robbins Rainbow Sherbet. It had always been hers and Haley's favorite. She took the whole pint, a spoon, and Olivia's baby monitor and headed out back by the pool.

Sitting on the top step, water halfway up her stomach; she happily dug into her carton of ice cream. Somehow, it reminded her of simpler times. And if it was possible it made her feel light…like she used to before her life got so damn complicated.

She had had enough and she set the food down on the side of the pool. She slipped down another step to where the water was nearly up to her neck and turned to the side, resting her head on the concrete edge. She felt her body rock with the water, and she was almost serene. Not worry about any of her drama; it was just her, the water, and the star-filled night sky.

"Brooke," his voice snapped her out of her tranquil state and nearly made her jump out of her skin at the same time.

"Lucas! What are you doing here? How did you get in?" She asked him rapid-fire as she turned her body around to face him.

"Uh, I do have a key," he said, holding it up to show as proof that he hadn't broken in.

"Well what are you doing here?" She asked him, getting out and wrapping her bikini clad body in a towel.

Lucas watched her cover herself, distracting himself from answering her question right away. "Ummm, after what happened earlier," he started. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I mean, I knew you were going to be by yourself tonight, and I just wanted to let you know I was around, I guess."

Brooke gave him a small smile. "Well thank you," she told him sitting down on a lounge chair. "I'm fine. I was just relaxing."

"Brooke, when you have a whole tub of rainbow sherbet, I hate to tell you, but you are not fine," he laughed, picking up the almost empty container of ice cream.

Damn, he knew her too well. How was it after all these years he could still do that? Brooke smiled an innocent smile and shrugged her shoulders. "What can I say, I have a lot on my mind," she admitted, though she hated to. He always seemed to get her to open up, even when she didn't want to.

"What's going on with you?" He asked, concern covering his handsome features.

Brooke looked at him as if he was stupid. "Are you seriously asking me that?" She snapped at him. "God, you can be dense sometimes."

Lucas hung his head. Of course he had known what was weighing on her; he just hadn't wanted to admit it aloud. He hated to be the source of her internal struggles. "Brooke, I'm sorry," he said. He knew it was no consolation, but he was as messed up as she was. They had both been royally screwed over in the situation.

"I know," she told him, reaching over and touching his arm. "And it's not your fault. But can I be honest with you?" She asked, looking up in his face.

And he saw it, the look in her eyes she hardly let anyone see. It was vulnerability. "Sure," he nodded his head slowly. "It's still me," he added, covering her hand with his own.

"I know," she quickly answered, pulling her hand back from his warm touch. "It's like I told Haley, when you train yourself to believe something for so long to keep from feeling the pain, it is hard to think any other way. I know I have been defensive around you. But it is just because I put a wall up around you and the whole ordeal to keep my heart from breaking anymore than it already was," she revealed, her voice small and weak.

Lucas's face fell, and was immediately covered with sympathy. "I hate that you had to endure that. I swear if I would have known, things would be totally different now," he said, locking his blue eyes with hers.

"I know," Brooke choked out. And that's what broke her heart, she had no doubt things would be a whole lot simpler if she could rewind the past four years. She would do so much differently, but you can't change the past.

"I wish I could change how I acted towards you in high school," he told her, shaking his head from side to side. "I was stupid and caught in the whirlwind of newfound popularity. I was an idiot, pointblank."

Brooke took in his words, unable to break the stare that was penetrating her to her core. And she hated how he could do that. How he could read her like one of the Steinbeck novels he loved so much. She was about to open her mouth to speak when she heard Olivia over the monitor.

"Mommy," her little voice rang out. It was light, but still a little groggy. "Mommy."

"I guess I better get back to reality," she said, standing from the chair she had been sitting in. "Story of my life."

Lucas smiled and got up to follow her inside the house. "I guess I better go," he reluctantly said, not really wanting to leave but he didn't want to intrude. He had already felt like he had imposed himself on the fragile brunette too many times in the past few days.

"Or, you could stay," Brooke suggested hesitantly. "I mean, I'm sure Liv would love to see you and we could eat or something."

"I'd love that," Lucas smiled widely; his happiness was evident on his face as well as in his tone.

"Okay," Brooke said, ducking her head down as she headed around him and up the stairs. "I'll go get Liv and then we'll be back down."

"I win again!" Olivia screamed, and she jumped up where she was seated on the floor and threw her little arms in the air. "Did you see me, Mommy? I winned!"

Brooke looked into the living room from where she was washing dishes in the kitchen. "Yes, you won, Livvie," she told her, giving her a subtle grammar correction.

"Lukie, you are not good at the game," Olivia told Lucas with big eyes. "Let's play something else," she suggested, picking up the Candy Land cards and throwing them back in the box.

"Alright," he laughed at her, shaking his head. "What are you thinking?" He asked.

"Hmmm," she said, placing a finger on her dimpled cheek. "What is you good at? You need to win too."

Lucas looked at her baffled. Most children loved to win, and they really didn't care if their playmates did or not. It was just the age, they were so egocentric. He had only known one other child who had been this way, and that was himself.

"How about you and Lucas play Cootie, I bet he will be good at that," Brooke suggested as she came back into the living room to join them.

"Yeah!" Olivia shouted. "I loves Cootie Bug!" And she ran to Jamie's room to retrieve the game.

Lucas moved up onto the couch to sit next to Brooke just as Olivia reappeared in the room. She was empty handed, but she had a determined look on her face.

"Mommy, can you help me?" Olivia asked, walking over and hitting her hands on Brooke's knees. "It is up really high."

"Sure, sweetie," she answered her. "Let's go get that game down."

"Be right back, Lukie," Olivia called back to Lucas as she and her mother left the room. "Do not move."

Lucas laughed and settled himself back into the couch. He wouldn't think of moving. At this moment there was nowhere else he wanted to be.

Sorry it took me so long to get this one up! Well really idk if it has been that long but it feels like it has been forever since I've had a chance to write or look at my stories!! My life is insane right now, but I promise I am not neglecting you guys! :) I hope I get to write some either this weekend or next week, but I have a lot going on with both school and wedding so I guess we'll see!! But thank you so much to everyone who took the time to review last chapter!! Just know I appreciate everyone of you and your feelings about the story!! I love reading what you all have to say!! Title came from Taylor Swift...again.

Audra