"Joel!" Deidre dropped the serving spoon she was holding and glared at her youngest son. I had no idea what to say. I just stared at Joel who stared at me. "That was a very rude thing to say. Apologise to Bella."

"No its ok. I was doing something stupid Joel. But I promised someone I wouldn't do that again." He looked pleased with that answer. Peter was staring at me, well at my wrist more specifically. I put my hands in my lap, under the cover of the table. Jasper reached over and gripped my hand tightly. I smiled at him; I don't know how I survived without him.

"Oh, you'll get a cool scar Bella." I winced at that, but dismissed it as a little boy's interest in scabs and blood.

After that dinner progressed fairly uneventfully. Deidre chattered away about her paintings and about Jasper when he was young. As I was finishing my potato Jasper asked to be excused, I put down my fork and went to stand but he told me to stay where I was. I watched as he walked upstairs.

I helped Deidre clear the table while Peter and Joel went into the lounge room. I liked his family; they seemed so relaxed around one another. They didn't need to speak all the time; they just seemed comfortable in each other's company. We were packing the dishwasher when I heard the sounds of a guitar coming from the lounge room.

Deidre smiled at me. "It sounds like Jasper's going to play for us, go on in there honey." I smiled as her Texan accent came out. I walked into the lounge room to see Jazz sitting on the coffee table and Joel sitting at his feet. Jazz was strumming away and looked up as I walked into the room.

"I said I'd play for you." He smiled. Then his forehead creased. "Come on, mum!"

"I'm coming. Hold your horses." Deidre rushed in and took a seat next to Peter; I sat down on one of the recliners.

"Okay, this is Taylor Swift, but better." He smiled mischievously and winked at me. I felt the butterflies start up in my stomach again. As he began to play I realised it was 'Our Song'. Then he began to sing.

"She was riding shotgun with her hair undone, in the front seat of my car, I've got a one hand feel on the steering wheel, the other on her thigh" Deidre giggled at that.

"She looked around turned the radio down, I said 'baby is something wrong', She said 'nothing I was just thinking how we don't have a song', and I said 'Our song is the slam of Cullen bein floored" I began to laugh at that.

"Getting to class late, runnin fast coz you're slow, When we're in school and you walk real slow, Coz we're late and I don't want you to go, Our song is the way you laugh, The first date man I made her cry and I shouldn't have, And when I got her home fore I said goodbye, Whispered to her that I'd never make her cry', I was walkin up her front porch steps, After everything that day, Had gone perfect, left a smile on my face, gone just my way, I was well on my way to turnin shy, I almost didn't notice her perfect eyes" I blushed and smiled at the floor.

"And my lips just said 'Our song is the slam of Cullen bein floored, Getting to class late, runnin fast coz you're slow, When we're in at school and you walk real slow, Coz we're late and I don't want you to go, Our song is the way you laugh, The first date man I made her cry and I shouldn't have, And when I got her home fore I said goodbye, Whispered to her that I'd never make her cry', I've heard every sorrow, listened to the way she talks, Waitin for something to come along that would make me wanna walk" I couldn't believe what he was saying, it was sounding like he thought of us as more than just friends. I was getting confused.

"Our song is the slam of Cullen bein floored, Getting to class late, runnin fast coz you're slow, When we're in school and you walk real slow, Coz we're late and I don't want you to go, Our song is the way you laugh, The first date man I made her cry and I shouldn't have, And when I got her home fore I said goodbye, Whispered to her that I'd never make her cry, She was riding shotgun with her hair undone, In the front seat of my car, I grabbed her hand and pulled it to my heart, And felt the beating of our song" As he finished I stared at him completely confused but deliriously happy.

We clapped and Jazz stood and took a bow. Deidre was wiping tears from her eyes and Jasper rolled his own. "Mum, you always cry when I sing." Peter laughed.

"Yeah, I know. You amaze me that's all." She stood and hugged her son. Seeing this my heart tightened and I missed my own mother more than ever. I would never feel my mum's embrace again. I would never see her again. I felt tears well up and I excused myself. I walked quickly down the hall to the bathroom and locked myself in.

I sat on the edge of the bath and dropped my head into my hands. When would this pain fade? I sobbed into my hands and felt my chest tighten once again. I heard a knock on the door. I stood and splashed water on my face, it didn't help. I opened the door, Jazz stood there looking very worried. I almost laughed at the concern on his face.

"Are you okay, honey?" I loved the way that when his voice deepened his accent came out. I nodded and stepped out of the bathroom. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I nestled into the front of his shirt and clung to his arms. I was once again struck with how muscular he was.

"It just hits me sometimes that I'll never see her again." I sobbed slightly and he held me tighter against his chest. "I just feel so empty, like there's a part of me that's missing. I just feel tired, all the time. But I have to be ok, it my catchphrase, 'I'm fine'. I try so hard, but I can't see how I'm going to be ok. I feel like everything's changing around me. Nothing is the same, no one stays the same. I don't know what to do. I feel like I have no one. And the nightmares, I can barely sleep. I just..." I stopped short when I realised that I was rambling, that I'd given away more than I'd meant to.

"Baby, you have me. I'm here for you." I sighed, it wasn't the same. I couldn't just call him anytime to come over, we were barely friends.

"Yeah, I know." I sighed and pulled back. I looked up at his face and he looked so worried I just wanted to wipe the expression from his face. I shouldn't have put all this on him. Suddenly his face lit up.

"I think I have a way to help you sleep." He smiled brightly and pulled me down the hall.

"How?" I was interested, getting rid of my nightmares would be amazing; a good night's sleep would be amazing.

"I can't tell you, but you'll find out tonight." He winked at me as we entered the lounge room. Deidre looked concerned as we entered.

"I'm so sorry honey. Are you ok?" she walked over to us and pulled me into a hug.

"Yeah I'm alright. I'm sorry to be rude but I might go home." She nodded and gave me a parting hug.

"It was lovely to meet you, you're welcome any time." Peter nodded his agreement and shook my hand. Joel must have been in bed because he wasn't around as we left.

The drive back to my house was quiet but as we pulled into the driveway I spoke up. "How will I know this magical trick for sleeping?" I eyed him suspiciously.

"You'll know." He leant over and kissed my cheek. "Goodbye Bella."

"Night, Jazz." I walked slowly up to the front door and wished he didn't have to go. I didn't want to be on my own.