Chapter 8

The ship was tilting forward more and more by minute. Rose was sure of it. She could tell that the ship had shifted. She was still on her bed, but she was no longer crying. Instead, she lay on her back, staring blankly at the ceiling. Her body was numb. There was no feeling to her whatsoever. What had just happened, she did not know.

There was a lot of commotion coming from outside her door. Rose could hear the echoes of the people as they made their way up the Grand Staircase. She tried to drown out their voices, but they just wouldn't disappear. Many were shouting, telling their loved ones to hurry along. Children were complaining that they were too tired to run. Others were talking in foreign accents, none of which Rose understood.

Suddenly, Rose heard the voice of an Irish immigrant mother and her child as the made their way past her corridor. "Where are we going, Mommy?" a little girl's voice spoke.

"We have to hurry up to the boat deck, dear," the mother replied. "We'll be safe once we get there."

It was then that Rose sat up in bed. The voices were her epiphany. Titanic was really sinking and people were really going to die. This was real. People were having the hardest time trying to save themselves while Rose just laid there, welcoming death like it was some long lost friend. It wasn't right. And to think, just day ago she almost committed suicide. Now, she was trying it again? It was idiotic.

Quickly, Rose crawled out of bed and headed out into the corridor. It was empty. However, the B-deck landed was cluttered with people as the hastily moved toward the Boat Deck. Rose joined them. As she climbed, she could hear the rushing of water. She looked down. No fewer than two landings below was the freezing water of the Atlantic Ocean. Her eyes widened in fear as she ran faster to A-deck.

Once she reached the A-deck landing, Rose started to make her way up to the Boat Deck. Suddenly, she stopped. To her surprise, Cal and his right hand man Mr. Lovejoy had just entered the foyer from the top deck. Hurriedly, Rose twisted herself around and ran through the revolving glass doors and down the corridor toward the lounge. She prayed that Cal didn't see her. The last person she wanted to deal with was him.

When Rose entered the lounge she stopped running and looked behind. No sign of Cal. He must not have seen her. She sighed in relief, then began to looked around the lounge. It was completely empty, all except for one other person, who was standing beside the fire, staring wondrously at the painting mounted on the wall.

"Mr. Andrews?" Rose questioned.

He looked at her, but did not say a word.

She took a step toward him, wondering why he was still here. "Won't you make a try for it?"

Andrews didn't reply. Instead he said, "I'm sorry, Rose. What I said before…" He sighed. "You have to understand that I have a family to provide for."

"I do understand that you have a family, but-"

"Please, let me finish," Andrews interrupted before she could say anything more. "With that being said, I think you are the most amazing young woman I have ever met. Truly, you have captivated me. Knowing you has been an honor. The time I have spent with you has really been incredible. If I had the chance to do everything all over again I would take it. Rose, you are so very special. If I didn't already have Helen's hand I would ask for yours." Andrews took a deep breath, then added, "What I am trying to say is this: I love you." He softly ran his hand down her pink cheek.

Rose tried to blink back tears. "I love you, too," she whispered. They leaned in close to one another and shared another kiss. When they pulled apart, Andrews looked up at the clock that sat on the mantle. "There's not much time. We have to get to a boat. There is one loading here on A-deck. If we hurry, we may catch it."

Nodding in agreement, Rose grabbed a hold of Andrews' hand as he led her outside to the A-deck promenade. There was a small group of first-class passengers. The women, with the assistance of Officer Lightoller, were climbing through one of the open windows and sliding across a deck chair into lifeboat four. The two walked over to the group, waiting for their tour to boat.

In front of the line were the Astors. As Mrs. Astors slid into the lifeboat, her husband asked Lightoller if he could join her because of her "delicate condition." Lightoller said that he was not currently accepting men; women and children only. Rose bit her lip, hoping Andrews would be allowed to come with her. She begged God that he could come.

When they reached the front of the line, Andrews took off his coat and placed it around Rose's shoulders. "You'll freeze without a coat," he told her.

"But won't you be cold?" she questioned.

Andrews stared at her hesitantly, searching for an answer. Lightoller butted in before he could reply, telling Rose that she had to board now.

"Aren't you coming?" Rose asked Andrews.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot join you. My place is here…with the others."

Rose stared at him confusedly. "What do you mean your place is here?"

"I mean exactly what I said," he replied. "Rose, I am the cause of this madness. I am to blame for this. Why should I get to live while hundreds of others have to die as a result of my flaws?"

"Surely you cannot believe you're to blame for this. Mr. Andrews, that is madness. In no way is this your fault." Rose stared deeply into his eyes. Tears caused them to sparkle like diamonds. He seemed so broken. She knew Titanic was his pride and joy and she could understand why he would be so shattered. But why stay behind when you have the opportunity to leave? It was ridiculous.

"Please try to save yourself, Mr. Andrews," Rose begged. "If not for me, do it for your wife and child. What would they think if you died without trying?"

Sighing, Andrews replied, "I believe they would rather me die here valiantly than to die at home as a coward. Besides, me being on a lifeboat would take up the spot of another woman or child."

"That's preposterous!" Rose exclaimed. "If you survive, no one will see you as a coward. Surviving will make you no less of a man. So please, promise you'll try to find another boat."

Andrews didn't promise her a thing. Instead, he said, "You should board the lifeboat now or they'll leave without you."

Rose flung herself around him, tears starting to well up in her eyes. "I'm not leaving without you," she whispered.

"Please," Andrews pleaded in a whisper. "Save yourself. If not for you, do it for me." He pulled back from her hug and looked into her eyes. "If you love me, you will leave me here and save yourself. Go on and live your life the way you to. You're strong! You can make it on your own, I know it."

Tears flooded down her cheeks. She couldn't let him go. She just couldn't.

"Mr. Lightoller," Andrews called. He looked at Rose, wishing she would understand that he only wanted what was best for her. "Take her."

Second Officer Lightoller reached out for Rose and grabbed a hold of her arm. She couldn't resist. With the help of the officer and Andrews, she climbed up through the window, slid across the deck chair that connected the lifeboat with the ship, and landed in the arms of the women already aboard the boat. Rose looked back at Andrews, not believing this was really happening. Why did it have to end like this?

When the command to lower away was given, Rose became hysterical. She looked all around her. She could hear people from the boat deck shouting and watched as they ran towards the stern of the ship. In her lifeboat, women and children, all of wealthy status, waved goodbye to their husbands, who stood watching from the promenade.

Standing at the open window was Andrews. Their eyes locked as the boat slowly lowered down toward the water. He tried to force a smile to show her everything would be okay. She didn't believe it. Her heart was pounding against her chest. A rocket blasted overhead. She broke focus just for a second to look at the rocket, then immediately turned her focal point back on Andrews. This can't be happening.

As soon as the lifeboat hit water, Andrews turned and walked away. Rose could no longer see him. She tried to call out for him, but there was a huge lump in her throat, keeping her from speaking. She bit her lip, trying to fight back the tears, but it was just too hard. The tears just flowed, gushing out of her eyes like a waterfall. Rose sat motionless, praying to God that he went to find another boat; praying to God that 1:55 AM wasn't the lost moment she would ever see her dear Mr. Andrews.