I slowly stood up as my whole body trembled under the pressure that the message had put on me. I walked to my truck and got in. I drove as fast as my truck would go and right into a parking spot at the hospital. I got out and walked into the entrance and up to the front desk. The lady at the desk must have been expecting me and known who I was because she looked scared and immediately paged Dr. Campbell.

"He will be with you shortly." She said as she hurriedly went about her business not looking at me for fear of crying. "Please just have a seat."

I turned and found a seat against the wall and sat. I wasn't sitting long before a tall dark haired doctor strolled up to me. "You must be Isabella Swan." I nodded and stood with fear and pain in my eyes. "Please sit back down. You're father was brought into this Emergency Room after receiving a fatal gunshot wound to his chest by a gang member he was trying to apprehend. We worked on him for a long time and during surgery we lost his heartbeat and were not able to get it back no matter how hard we tried. I am so sorry."

I could not believe what he was saying. Was he telling me my father, the one and only thing I had left, was dead?!?! No, he couldn't be. My whole world was crumbling and there was nothing I could to do to stop it. What am I suppose to do now?

"He's dead?" I quietly asked while I sunk further down into the chair. My whole body was going limp and my mind was so blank and surprised. Tears started to pour down my face like a waterfall and all the color that I had left in pale skin drained. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder but I so wished that it was an ice cold one from my vampire family.

"Yes. I am so very sorry but Charlie Swan is deceased. It will all be okay Isabella." I didn't even have the strength to correct my name. "I do have some paperwork to fill out for funeral arrangements and insurance documents."

After spending a couple of hours getting everything in order for the funeral with the doctor, I slowly strolled out of the hospital still in shock. It still didn't feel real and I don't think I was ready to handle it yet. I drove very slowly all the way to my house and walked inside.

I immediately went upstairs and walked into Charlie's room. It was just as he left it this morning when he went to work. It was now very late at night, almost early the next morning. I felt like my lungs were closing in on themselves and I couldn't be in this be in his room anymore. I ran to my room and collapsed into my bed.

I curled up in a ball and began to sob uncontrollably into my pillow. The tears kept falling and I realized what I needed. I needed to release some of the emotional pain so I grabbed my blade from my bedside table and began to draw on my canvas, my arms.

It felt to relieving to feel pain on the outside that matched the pain on the inside. It helped to alleviate just a little of the emotional conflict. I watched the blood run down my arm and I caught it in a rag I had. It was easier now because there was no one to answer to. I had no one left to ask questions. I was alone and there was nothing I could do about it.

I carefully carved the word LONELY down one arm and HELP down the other. I cut them deeper and cleaner than I normally do. They would be there for a long time but that was okay with me. It was a reminder that I had nothing left to live for and no one to save me. I wrapped both my arms with gauze and got back into bed letting more tears stream down my face as I drifted off to bed. I was hoping it would be a peaceful dreaming sleep but I was wrong.

I was in a huge, brightly lit room. It was very magnificent. I was surrounded by everyone that I had ever cared about. I saw Renee, Charlie, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, and all my friends from school. Everyone looked happy and I felt amazing and cheerful for once in a long time. Slowly it began to rain blood and one by one everyone started disappearing with a slight smile on their face. First to go was my mom then the kids from school. Next, all the Cullens except Edward disappeared. I ran to Edward and held onto him so tight. I couldn't let him go again. He looked down at me with a painful smile as the room began to go dark and blood began to rain down harder. He disappeared right out of my arms and I fell to the ground crying. My father walked over to me picked me up and sat me on my own feet and then disappeared himself. I was left alone covered with blood in a pitch black room.

I woke up shaking all over. I was covered in cold sweat and my eyes were pouring hot tears. It was cold in the room due to the window being open. I never could bring myself to closing it, just in case he decides to come back.

Three days went by rather slow and painfully. I sat at home, cleaned up, and rearranged a little bit. I never did touch Charlie's room. I couldn't bring myself to even go in there again. I shut the door and wouldn't even look at it again. It was too painful.

Today was the funeral where I have to face the reality and everyone that Charlie knew. I drove to the funeral and sat in the front. It was a traditional police funeral. It was very sad but I cried so much I felt as though I couldn't breathe. After the service was the burial. It was even sadder because this is where he was going to lie forever and it was not with me.

After the burial, everyone left. I sat there on the mound of dirt and grass, next to the flowers and cried. I stared at the stone that read:
Charlie Swan
Devoted father, Devoted husband, and Devoted policeman
You will be missed by all forever

I was there well into the darkness and got soaked from head to toe from the pouring rain that fell for hours. I slowly rose from the grave, got in my truck, and drove to my lonely dark house. The reality of loneliness hit me as I walked in the door. It hurt more than anything in the world.

I didn't even have the strength to make it up the stairs. I just collapsed on the couch in the living room and sobbed more than before. I needed someone to be there. I needed someone to ask me if I was okay. I needed someone to hold me, to cuddle me, and to comfort me close. I wanted my cold vampire to hold me, to cuddle me, and comfort me but all I had was the warm couch.

I finally fell asleep but I had the same nightmare I had before. It was the exact same dream and I woke the exact same way as last time too. I had tears running down my face, cold sweat all over my forehead, and my whole body was trembling. I rolled over and fell onto the floor. I couldn't even stand. I just rolled up on the floor and sobbed into the carpet while listening to the rain pour down outside.

I woke back up from a very uneasy sleep the next day around 11 am. I walked to the kitchen and poured me a bowl of cereal. It was the first thing I had eaten in two days, but it didn't taste good at all. I hated food these days.

As soon as I was done eating, I ran to the bathroom. I got sick and threw it all back up. I sat in the bathroom and cried while leaning on the bathtub. I finally stood and walked into my room. I knew what I had to do. I grabbed some paper and a pencil and started writing.

**Thanks for the reviews!!! I really appreciate them. Well, I know this is short, but I didn't want to reveal too much at the end. I need to keep you coming back. Hehe! Keep up the reviews and I'll update soon!!!**