Chapter 9

Rose and Madeleine Astor held onto each other tightly as they watched the sinking of the Titanic. It hurt knowing that their loves were still possibly on board somewhere. It was too hard to cope with. Both sat in the lifeboat with the other women and children, staring blankly at the ship. After their lifeboat parted from the ship, it didn't take much longer for the ship to sink. It was no more than a half hour later that the sea had completely engulfed the ship and it slipped underneath the surface.

The screams of the people who were left to die in the middle of the freezing sea was heart wrenching. Rose tried to drown out their voices, but ignoring them was too hard. She wished they could go back, but the risk of being swamped was very high. What was worse than the screams was the silence that followed. The screaming silence was deafening. The fifteen hundred that had went into the sea had all been taken away. The only thing left behind was their frozen bodies.

The people inside the boats had nothing to do but wait. Wait for what? Anything. To them, even death seemed beautiful. Anything to escape the freezing Hell.

An absolution finally came at approximately four in the morning. The Cunard Liner RMS Carpathia could be seen in the distance. Many cheered, glad that their savior had finally arrived. Others, like Rose, wept with sadness, knowing the possibility that they'd be saved while their loved ones had died.

It was hours before Rose's lifeboat was taken to the ship. When her feet landed on the deck of Carpathia she felt afraid. What now? Would Mr. Andrews suddenly show up? Would her mother find her? Had Cal survived? She was so scared. The last thing she wanted was to go back to her old life. As she walked through the crowd she tried to hide her face, hoping no one would recognize her. No one did. She disappeared into the crowd of survivors.

For hours, Rose waited for Andrews, hoping he had actually found a boat. She waited with a bunch of other women, who also were hoping that their fiance or husband had survived. Throughout the morning, many women had given up and came to the choice that their loved ones did not make it. Rose was determined not to give up. Andrews would not have stayed behind, she was sure of it.

To her dismay, Andrews never showed up. Sighing, she walked away from the weeping widows and wondered off to the steerage area of the ship on the lower deck, figuring no one would find her there. She held onto Andrews' coat tightly, acting as though it was her lifeline. She wouldn't let go for anything.

Rose wondered around the deck of steerage passengers. Across the deck she could see an officer of the ship. Women kept walking up to them, describing people and asking for names. Did he have a list of survivors? She just had to see for herself. She walked over to the man and asked if he had a Thomas Andrews on the list.

The man looked up and down his list. He softly shook his head and replied, "I'm sorry, Miss, but he is not listed."

Rose quietly thanked the man and walked away. He wasn't on the list. That didn't have to mean he was dead. Maybe they just hadn't gotten around to all the people yet. She took a deep breath, trying to think positive.

The time just kept passing by. It was late in the afternoon by now. Rose stood at the railing of the ship, staring expressionlessly out at the sea. He wasn't coming. He didn't survive. She was sure of it. He would have found her by now.

Suddenly, Rose heard footsteps approaching from behind and heard a man call out to her. She quickly turned, hoping it was Andrews. To her disappointment, it wasn't. Instead, it was Satan himself.

"Your mother and I have been searching everywhere for you," Cal spoke as he approached Rose. She couldn't believe it. That bastard had survived and he had found her. Now what? She had already made up her mind: she wasn't going back. But how to convince Cal?

"Don't," Rose spoke. "Just don't talk. Let's make a deal, since that is the only thing you seem to comprehend and are always interested in doing. From now on you do not exist to me and I do not exist to you. You will never see me again and you will not attempt to find me. In return, I will never speak of the horrid things you've done to me. Is this in any way unclear?"

Cal stayed silent for a few moments, then said, "And your mother? What do I tell her?"

"Simply tell her that her daughter did not survive." She turned away and went back to staring at the sea.

Cal is confused. He didn't understand what he did wrong. He loved Rose and didn't want to lose her. "You're precious to me, Rose."

Rose shook her head and snorted. "Jewels are precious." She took off her engagement ring and handed it to Cal, who reluctantly took it. "Goodbye, Mr. Hockley."

After a few minutes, Cal finally sighed and walked away. Rose grinned in triumph. He was finally out of her life. She hadn't been so happy in ages.

Days later, the Carpathia sailed into New York. Rose stood in the drizzle just to watch as they landed in the pier. She smiled as the ship sailed past the Statue of Liberty. Freedom at last. She was finally free from that dictator. Finally, she could do whatever she pleased without having to worry about her and her family's reputation. She wished more than anything that Andrews could have been there to share that happy moment with her. She wished he was at her side, holding her hand and telling her how happy he was that they could finally be together.

After the ship docked, the first and second class passengers got to disembark first. She watched as her past friends moved through the crowd. Flashing lights from the cameras of reporters lit up the harbor. When the third class passengers could finally get off, the crowd had shrunk and there were not as many reporters. Nobody cared about the poor. At that moment, Rose was thankful for that, only because she was tired of the society intervening with her affairs.

Rose slowly glided down the gangway, still wishing that Andrews was with her. However, if he had survived, she knew he would return to his family. He was too good of a man to stray from his wife and child. Either way, Rose guessed, she would never have a chance with him. That Andrews was one of a kind and she hoped that she would be able to find a man just like him.

At the bottom of the gangway there was a group of immigration officers, asking each passenger their name as they walked past. When Rose approached one of the officers, he asked for her name, and she searched for one. If she said Rose Dewitt Bukater her true identity would be revealed. However, she didn't have the dignity to steal the name of Mr. Andrews. The immigration officer patiently waited for her to speak.

After thinking for a minute, Rose decided just to pick a random name and say it. "Dawson. Rose Dawson," she had said, knowing nobody would be able to identify her with that name. The officer thanked her and she walked on. She pushed through the crowd of jostling people, where she disappeared and was never found again. She went on and lived her life exactly how Andrews wanted to: the way she wanted, with nobody to boss her around.

In loving memory of my hero, Thomas Andrews. May he, and the other fifteen hundred souls that were taken on the morning of April 15th, rest in peace.