AN: Sorry it's been a little while since I updated. I can't figure out the best way to write this chapter. I have started it a couple ways but we'll see how it goes. Plus I was on a trial of Microsoft Word and it expired; but I'm back now!!!!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight not matter how hard I wish it true.

Edward POV:

We all sat in our house in Alaska. We had decided that's where we should go after we left Forks. It was pretty boring here. We had decided to wait to start school and we never had much to do. Everyone went hunting. Carlisle and Esme read a lot while Jasper and Emmett played video games. Of course, Alice and Rosalie were always shopping. I just sat in my room all the time staring at the ceiling. Esme had asked me to play the piano but I couldn't find the strength to do it. It reminded me too much of her.

I had been so miserable since leaving. I didn't want to go but I knew it had to be done. It was just not safe for her to be around us all. Everyone was sad but no one was as miserable as me. I was more miserable now than I was before I had met her. I had a whole inside me full of sadness and loneliness. I longed to go running back there but I vowed to keep my promise to her. I would never return there again. It was like I had never met her.

I'm sure she had been hurt and probably miserable but she is human and it will all fade. She probably moved on by now and I hoped that she had. I didn't want her to hurt or be lonely. No one was allowed to go see her. Everyone had that understanding. We could not let her see us or showed that we still cared. We just had to disappear forever. I told Alice not to keep "tabs" on her. I didn't want to see the images in Alice's mind. I didn't want to see my Bella move on to something bigger and better. I was too miserable. Alice had reluctantly agreed and she "tuned" out Bella's decisions and visions.

It had been awhile since we had left Washington. I'm not exactly sure how long because all the days blended together. It was a normal day. Carlisle and Esme sat on one couch reading books, snuggling close to each other. Jasper and Emmett sat on another couch in front of the television playing some shooting game where they were very competitive. Alice and Rosalie sat on the floor looking at fashion magazines and I sat on a loveseat trying to read a book but my mind was too distracted.

Suddenly, Alice gasped and stared into space. Jasper was by her side in a heartbeat. I focused in on her mind to see what she was seeing….

I saw the whole vision and my body was frozen in shock as Alice's began to shake as she dry sobbed. Everyone looked from me to Alice hoping to get some kind of answers. They were shocked themselves but not because they knew what was going to happen but because they saw our reactions. Jasper tried his hardest to send calming vibes through the room but they didn't penetrate my shock that well.

Bella was all my mind kept thinking over and over again as I finally stood. I had to do something. I couldn't let this vision come true. We didn't have that much time left, only a couple of hours if I was correct.

"Alright," I started trying to gain composure and authority to this situation "me, Alice, and Carlisle need to go right now. The rest of you need to pack whatever we may need and drive later on back to Forks." Everyone's expressions changed from shocked and confused to just plain confused.

"Forks?" Emmett asked first. "Why are we going back to Forks?"

What was I going to say? I can't explain what I saw. I couldn't make it reality and we didn't have time for explanations. Alice squeaked out a "Bella" whisper and everyone's expressions turned to concern and worry.

"Fine, let's go. We'll take the Mercedes. It has anything we might need in it and I will drive because neither of you are in any shape to drive and you can explain what you saw on the way." Carlisle finished as we all stood and ran at vampire speed to the car. Carlisle drove, I sat in the passenger seat, and Alice sat in the backseat.

We drove as fast as the Mercedes would go but it was still going to take a couple hours. We explained the situation to Carlisle as he drove and he understood what the emergency was all about. None of us could lose Bella. She was still family even if we didn't live together and she was the love of my life. This was going to be a long painful ride to Forks since I was so stuck in my thoughts.

Bella POV:

I knew what I had to do. I grabbed some paper and a pencil and started writing.

Once I was done. I was satisfied. I put both sheets of paper on the desk in my room. I realized that the tools I had already would not work. I changed into a pair of light blue jeans and a dark navy blue long sleeved shirt. I got into my truck and drove to the hardware store to get me some new "tools" I needed for the job I had to do today.

I finally got home from the hardware store because I took my time. I wasn't in a hurry. There was no one that cared so I could take all the time in the world. I decided that before I performed my job I wanted to finish one picture I had not yet finished. I sat down on my bed and swiftly drew and shaded. It took about an hour or so to finish it and I slid it in the album that now held the many pictures I had drawn through my depression.

Now was the time. It felt perfect. I grabbed the pieces of paper off the desk, the bag from the hardware store, and the album of pictures and headed to the bathroom. I closed and locked the door, just in case. I put the lid of the toilet down and set the album and papers on it. I grabbed the hardware bag and pulled out my "tool". I opened the box and pulled out a brand new, extremely sharp razorblade and admired it. I climbed into the bathtub and rolled up my sleeves. I knew what I was doing was right. I couldn't take the loneliness anymore. I couldn't take disappointment.

I took the razorblade and slit my wrist, pushing down fairly hard so it would go deep. I did the same to my other wrist. I sat and watched the blood pour into the bathtub. I wanted it to be slow and painful.

No more loneliness. No more disappointment. After everything I just can't take it anymore. Everyone I loved has left and there is no one left to stop this from happening. That's okay. I don't want this to stop from happening. I want to die. This life I live has nothing left to offer me and I have nothing to offer it. I'm tired of being the empty shell that everyone looks at with self pity. I don't need pity. I need to be released. I need to get out of this hell I call life. I need out and this was the one way I could think of. Now it's going to be over.

I'm not sure how long I was laying her wallowing in self pity and thanking the death that was coming, but the darkness was starting to come and I was welcoming it with welcome arms.

Suddenly I was whipped out of my dream of death by pounding on the door. Then the door flew open as the frame shattered. Edward, Carlisle, and Alice came flying in the room. NO! They could not stop this from happening. I wanted this. I had to have this happen. They left so they have no say in if I had to live or if I could die.

Edward jumped in the tub with me as Carlisle bent down next to it. I knew they were going to try and stop the blood from pouring and I couldn't let that happen. I felt one pair of cold hands on one arm while there was another pair on my other arm. They were going to fix me physically but I couldn't let that happen.

"NO!" I tried to scream but it came out a little louder than a whisper. I struggled against their arms. My heart sped up and the blood gushed out faster. I continued to struggle even though I was very weak and I had two vampires holding my arms. "This is my choice!"

"Calm down, Bella." Edward soothed trying to make the blood stop coming so fast. "You're just making it come out faster. Stop fighting us and let us help you." I shook my head trying to tell him to leave me.

"Just leave me alone. Let me go. You don't love me anyways so why should you even care. Just walk back out the door and out of my life again." I replied trying to sound strong and mean but it just came out weak. I was losing consciousness.

"Bella, we all love you with everything we have and there is no way we could sit by and let you die even if that's what you want. I'm sorry. Please calm down." Carlisle's voice was very stern but caring at the same time. I missed him. I missed them all really bad. I loved Edward with all my being but was it enough to stay even after he left me.

I felt gauze being wrapped tightly around both wrists and felt a tourniquet being tied around both upper arms, not too tight though. They didn't want me to lose all blood circulation to my arms. It started to hurt now, but why? Was it because I'm not alone? Or because I started to doubt killing myself? I had a family again…well sort of.

I was now fighting the darkness because I didn't want to lose sight of my family. I couldn't risk losing them again. I wouldn't be able to take it. I heard talking but couldn't make out what they were saying. Before I knew it I was lifted and carried to Carlisle's car outside. I was laid in the back seat and Edward slid in under my head, propping my body up. Alice was in the passenger seat and Carlisle drove. I knew where we were going. It was one place I really hated and I will probably hate now even more, the hospital.

"Thanks." I broke the silence but I was drifting too far into unconsciousness to say any more. My arms were still losing blood. It wasn't as fast as they were before but I was still in danger. Even after fighting it for so long the darkness was swallowing me.

"Stay awake, Bella. Please try." Carlisle was the last thing I heard. I tried to whisper "sorry", but I'm not sure if it ever actually came out. I looked up and saw Edward's face full or worry, concern, and guilt and then nothing but darkness.

Edward POV:

She fell limp in my arms and I knew we were on a timeline. She was still bleeding and it was starting to come through the gauze. I was so worried about her but I also felt guilty. How could I have let this happen? Where was Charlie to stop this? How was she going to leave her father alone? Didn't I leave to keep her safe? What about keeping her safe from herself?

We finally arrived at the hospital and I carried her inside following Carlisle while Alice followed me. We stopped at the front desk and Carlisle spoke to the lady at the desk. She handed him a white coat and he instructed me to follow him. I didn't hear what they talked about but I'm guessing it was about letting him be Bella's doctor since he formerly worked here. I looked down at my broken angel. It was so sad to see her like this. It was heartbreaking.

I sat her on a bed while nurses started giving her an IV and unwrapping the gauze. They followed everything Carlisle told them. Edward, please go wait in the waiting room. I will let you know something as soon as possible. I nodded to Carlisle letting him know I heard his thoughts and walked back to the waiting room where Alice was standing.

We both sat down next to each other and that's when I saw that she had some things from the bathroom in her hands. She had two slips of paper and she had an album of some sort. We decided to look at the papers first. We unfolded the first and it read:

To whoever finds me:
I'm Isabella Marie Swan. I am so sorry you found me. I would never wish this on anyone. I went to Forks High School. Please tell them about my death and tell them I'm so sorry. I just couldn't do it anymore. Everything just got too much. The pressure on my shoulders was too much and I crumbled. I slipped through the cracks. Tell everyone not to blame themselves or anyone else, for that matter. It was nobody's fault. It was my own decision and no one could have talked me out of it. I'm sorry again.

Sincerely,
Bella

Me and Alice looked at each other, but really couldn't say anything. We just decided to read the next note together. It read:

Dear Cullen Family,
I don't even know if you will ever read this but it makes me feel better if I write it out as if you would come back and find it. You were all always so nice to me. I love you so much. You were the complete family I was wanted and finally got. You guys were my everything. Carlisle and Esme, thank you so much for being the caring and loving parents I always wanted. You were there no matter what I had gotten myself into. I'm going to miss your caring faces. Jasper, thanks for being like a brother to me. I will miss the calmness you always seemed to be passing my way. Rosalie, we were never that close but I still considered you a sister. Thanks for being there. Emmett, thanks for being my big brother. I will miss the bear hugs you always gave me. Alice, you were the bestest sister I could have asked for. I will miss you and the shopping trips. Edward, you are the love of my life. Thank you for making me feel whole again. You were my everything and I love you with all of my heart. If you ever do return I'm sorry I'm not waiting with open arms. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. Everything got be too much and I didn't know what to do. I was tired of being alone all the time. Just know it is NOT your faults and make Edward believe it too. I love you guys with everything I have left.

Love always,
Bella

Wow. I was shocked. I knew all this already but reading it written in her hand writing just made it sink in more. I looked to Alice who was dry sobbing. I rubbed her shoulder and she slowly stopped. We both looked at the album wondering if we wanted to know what was in there. Alice slowly opened the album and what I saw took my breath away, not that I needed to breathe. I didn't know Bella drew.

The first page had a picture of all of us, the Cullen family, and Bella. It was amazing. It was a sad picture in a way though. Everyone had a serious face and the background was sad and gloomy. The second page made me want to sob. It was a picture of me leaving Bella in the woods while her head hung in sadness. It was dark. I flipped the page to find a picture of an empty school hallway. You could see the sadness in the drawing and you could see figures but they were leaving and had their backs turned. The next page showed two arms and hands. Each hand had a razorblade in it and each arm had a word carved down it. One said LONELY and the other said HELP. There was blood drawn all over the background of this picture. The next showed two gravestones. I couldn't make out who's they were but Charlie was standing between them and there was fog taking up the whole picture. You could barely make out it was Charlie. The last page showed Bella lying in the bathtub with both wrists slit and the bathtub full of blood.

Everything in this album was so dark, sad, and lonely. That's what her life is full of and I was a culprit of adding a big part of that sadness. I felt so guilty and so did Alice. I put my hand on her shoulder and we both sat lost in our own thoughts. We were pulled out of our thoughts by Carlisle coming through the door looking confident but worried. Alice and I stood immediately meeting him half way across the room.

"She's stable and resting. It was close but everything will be fine. She will make a full physical recovery. I'm not sure about the mental and emotional. We'll have to see what happens when she wakes up." Carlisle reassured as and we both sighed in relief. Just at that time Esme, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie came through the door.

"How is she?" Esme asked in a worried motherly tone.

"She is going to be fine, physically." Carlisle announced. They all looked up confused by what he meant by physically. None of them knew that Bella had tried to commit suicide and I knew this would not be good. You haven't told them yet? Carlisle questioned in his mind. I shook my head. Everyone looked so confused and curious to Carlisle. "Um… well, Bella tried to commit suicide."

Everyone gasped and Esme began to dry sob. Everybody's eyes held hurt and pain and so did their thoughts. How did this happen? What happened that was so bad she had to kill herself? I can't believe my little sister tried to kill herself. Oh my god, she needed us that bad. Everyone's thoughts clouded my mind.

"Well, you all can go see her. Just be careful, I'm not sure what her mental status is as at the moment because she hasn't woken up yet." Carlisle finished as he walked over to the front desk to writ out some paperwork.

We all slowly walked down the hall, me in front. We reached her room and I turned the handle…

*Sorry guys had to leave a little suspense. I plan on writing at least one more chapter if you want it. If you do want it then you have to let me know, so leave me a review. Thanks!!!