ok so just to let everybody know I am rewriting eclipse not twilight! thanks for all the reviws and things i appreciate them all!
3 caitlyn 3
Chapter 2: Dear Diary
4/25/15
Dear Diary,
I don't know what to do anymore. My life is a hectic mess. I have two people that are madly in love with me and I don't know what to do. Jacob just left a few minutes ago. And boy I wish he had never came. If he hadn't of come none of the things that just happened in the last hour would have happened at all. It all started out with Jacob. He had gave me my note like he had done every day for the past two weeks. I didn't read it because I got side tracked. Then he came and one thing led to another and now Edward hates me and Jacob is even more in love with me. I kissed him. And it wasn't just any kiss. I was a romantic, passionate, kiss. Like the kind you see in a movie when the characters figure out that they are both in love with each other. We didn't know that Edward was there the whole time watching. I don't know what came over me but all of a sudden--- and I knew it for sure--- I was madly in love with Jacob Black. Edward got mad and so did I. I threw the ring out the window and told him to go fetch. What was I thinking. I still loved him I was just mad. I lost control when he started talking crap about Jacob right in front of me, when he knew I loved him. At times I wished he could just read my thoughts. So I could just think things instead of saying them. That would make life so much easier. I didn't regret kissing Jacob though. I enjoyed it. Edward would have never kissed me like that and that's what made it pleasurable. I finally got what I wanted. Something Edward would have never given me. He kept trying to postpone my birth date and I want him to stop. He promised me after I graduated and that's when it was going to be. No more of his charmingness. I wouldn't give in anymore. That's how he always gets what he wants. He pulls people into his vortex of gorgeousness. Charms people like a snake. Once he's in your head you can't get him out. It's like his picture is stuck in there forever. I have caught myself day dreaming about him more than enough times. A wall of beauty. You try to think about something and all you see is him. I can't live without him, but at the same time I can't live with him. If I go with him I know I will never get my way. But if I go with Jacob… well that's another story. If I went with him I could have a family. And I would still be able to be with my human friends. We would grow old together and live a long happy life. If I went with Edward it was a total opposite. I would not be able to have a family. I wouldn't be able to see my human friends. I would have to watch everyone I cared about in my previous life die off into nothing but dust. Hey would be forgot. A fraction of a piece of history. No body but me would remember them. Centuries after they were dead. I didn't want that. I wanted a normal life with someone I love and a family to support. I didn't know what to do now. But eventually I would make a decision. The biggest decision of my life.
~Bella