Chapter 5

When I got home, Charlie was already there.

"Hey dad!" I saluted from the entrance.

"Hey kiddo, where were you?" he said eyeing me suspiciously.

"I was with Alice in her house, doing some homework"

I swear I wasn't lying all the time! It was just that in this particular period of my life some things happened that needed of some tiny lies, just that.

"Mhm… so you were in Edward's house" – I rolled my eyes – "How is Alice?" he said smiling. He loved Alice.

"She is fine, annoying and lovely as always" I realized shrugging.

"You have to tell her to come visit me; it's been a long time since she last came"

OK what was it with 'long times' today?

"Dad she came last Saturday, it has just been three days" I said sighing.

"Oh well, it seemed like more. By the way Billy and Jacob are coming for dinner and to watch the game of course" he said too excited about the game part.

"That's great! I'll start making some pizzas so." I was really excited about Jake coming to my house; but something wasn't right, Jake was supposed to do patrols at night. Why was he coming then? I made a mental note to remember asking him later. With all this werewolf stuff we had really little time to spend together. I missed him a lot. Besides I wanted him to update me on how things were in La Push.

When the pizzas were almost ready the door was knocked. I took off my blue apron and headed quickly to open it.

"Hey Billy, hey Jake" I said grinning.

"Hey Bella, it has been a long time" Billy greeted. -OK 'long time' I think we've just found you a day!-.

"Glad you're okay" he looked at me with eyes filled with implications. Billy's opinion on me being with Edward and his family hadn't progressed, he was even more skeptical than before.

"Glad you're okay too" I said as if I hadn't noticed what he really meant.

"Jake! I've missed you" I cried wrapping my arms around his chest. He was really tall.

"Hey Bells" he mouthed, rigid. He wasn't hugging me. Suddenly I remembered when he asked me -no, begged me to please avoid the physical contact between us as much as I could and to respect his space. My heart roared as remembering this:

*FLASHBACK

(After a month of having known about Jacob's change, and Jacob knowing for certain what Edward and his family was. He asked to go for a walk and talk – we had been spending a lot of time together, as much as possible, regarding I was with Edward who didn't like me spending too much time with Jacob because according to him 'he could be dangerous, he is too strong' I couldn't imagine Jacob doing me any harm though. He loved me as much as I loved him, he was my best friend.)

"So Bells, I pick you up at six. I have a surprise…" he'd told me mysteriously by phone.

I was ready at 5:45; I really wanted to see what the surprise was; he knew me too well, he knew I hated surprises, so this should be the kind of surprise I would bear, I would even like.

Suddenly I heard a car and I went out of my house so fast I almost rolled over the wet floor.

"Jake, I can't believe it! You finished the Rabbit, it's amazing!" I grinned hugging him.

"Yep, I had" He stated proud of himself, touching the car. "Come on, we are gonna be late" he climbed to his seat, and gestured me to climb mine. He didn't open my door, it felt good too, he wasn't like Edward; we were more like equals, like brother and sister.

"So where are we going?" I said when we started heading to La Push.

"You'll see" He said smiling. Jake smile was beautiful, innocent and childish…

We arrived to the top of the cliff – in which Jake with his pack cliff-dived. Something I really wanted to tried, but both Edward and Jacob wouldn't let me –

"So, you finally realized I can cliff-dive?" I smiled excited.

"No silly, look at there" he said softly in my ear, pointing at the spectacular sunset that was starting.

"Oh Jake, it's beautiful" I gasped bewildered.

Jake was behind me with one big and hot hand on my waist and the other pointing the sky.

"Not as beautiful as you are…" he said softly. That really left me perplexed, I wasn't expecting it. I turned to see him, and I realized his face was only inches from mine.

"I love you" he breathed.

"Oh, Jake I love you too" I said without breaking in what he really meant.

"No Bella, I'm in love with you" Oh my! Did he just say he was in love with me? I was shocked. I didn't expect this at all. I knew he loved me as I loved him, but I never thought he was in love with me.

Without waiting for me to say anything, he kissed me. His lips and kiss were the total opposite from Edward's. His lips were really warm, and his kiss was not cautious as Edward's was. But this was wrong; Jake was my friend, my best friend!

I tried to pull him away, but he was embracing me with his long and very strong arms, I couldn't get away.

"S-stop Jake!" I tried to mumble between his lips. But he wasn't listening anymore, his kiss grew stronger.

"This is wrong! Stop it now!" I snapped at him. Pulling with all my strength to get rid of the cage he had made with his immense body.

After a minute of my struggling, he finally saw reason. He broke his embrace, and started walking away, with his face pointing to the floor and his eyes shut.

I froze there; unable to move. Too shocked for what just happened. I was trying to find my voice, to tell him that it was okay. To tell him something! But it wasn't there; I had lost it too, as I maybe had lost my best friend. One of the few things that someone could do to torture me was hurting Jacob; I couldn't bare it and this time I was the one who was doing it.

I struggled, and struggled until my legs responded my brain. As clumsy as I'd ever been, falling every two steps I made, I started running… well sort of swinging toward him.

I reached him, still unable to talk, and hugged him as strong as I could. He didn't hug me; he just pressed lightly his immense arms in my back and put his head over mine.

Some seconds later, his breath started faltering and something wet started coming down my hair.

He was crying.

I couldn't bear seeing him like this. My heart was breaking every time he sobbed, making it even harder to stand there for him and not cry.

My emotions won, and I started crying too.

We stood there for what it seemed like an eternity crying in unison, until we hadn't got more tears to shed.

After some more minutes he finally sighed. "I'm so sorry Bells" he breathed with a husky voice.

"No Jake, I'm the one who should be apologizing, I gave you the wrong impression and---" I started explaining when he shushed me with his big index in my lips.

"Shh, please don't blame yourself for this. This is my fault. I thought that you felt the same for me but that well, you hadn't the guts to leave the bloodsucker cuz you didn't know how I felt…" he shook his head as trying to dissolve the thought "So stupid!" he laughed sarcastically "always making up things to my own benefit"

"Jake don't say that… you know I love you and I will always be there for you; but as your best friend. You'll see, you'll realize I'm not what you want. And you'll fall in love with the girl that is the one for you…" I tried to explain softly. I couldn't say the main reason why I would never be with him. It wasn't anything he had done wrong. On the contrary he was too good, too perfect. But my heart was already given to the one I would be always in love with. And the heart can only be given ones.

"Don't worry Bells" he sighed, eyeing me with his deep chocolate eyes. "That's not what'll happen, but anyway just you don't worry. It's my stuff. I'll handle it" He finished shrugging.

"Hey don't---" I started complaining when he interrupted me again.

"Just please, please try to stay away from me. 'Cuz I can't do that. But I really need to stay away from you. At least to avoid as possible any physical contact we can. I need my space, you know". He said pleading. Ouch. That was like a sour directly sent to my heart.

How could I be apart from Jacob, my Jacob?

It'd really hurt to try to be away from him, or to not hug him or play with his enormous hands, but it was what he needed. And I owed him too much to not fulfill his wish.

"Okay, if it's what you need… But please don't sink away from me. I couldn't handle it!" I cried eyeing him with desperate eyes. "You are still my best friend, and I want you to know that I'm here for you; for whatever you need" I explained him softly; I was going to grab his hand but let it off. He'd just asked me for personal space…

"I know" He half smiled, my favorite smile. And it ached so much when he did it.

"Please don't tell this to the bloodsucker. If he comes to get me I won't have any excuse to not kill him; and the least thing I want right now is you hating me" He said with eyes fill with fury.

After that, I tried to give him as much space as I could. So we didn't pass much time together. I missed him a lot, but that was what he needed.

After eating all the pizzas I had made, I gave an excuse to bring Jake to my room so I could ask him about why he could come tonight.

"So Jake, didn't you have patrols tonight?" I asked intrigued, while I sat on my bed.

He sat on the chair, across the room – he obviously didn't want to be too close from me-.

"Well… three more kids transformed… So Sam gave me the night free" He said shrugging.

"What?! Why? You are already 8!" I asked perplexed. The pack was formed by Sam, Jacob, Paul, Jared, Quil and Embry –Jake's best friends - and Seth and Leah – who changed after their father Harry, passed away. I remembered Jake telling me that they had change because the Cullens were back, and that was a threat for the people. They became werewolves when there was one. But there were already ten, and there hadn't been more since July. So why now?

"Well, something happened the other day in La Push…" he said seriously, with his features torn.

"What? What happened?!"

TO BE CONTINUED