A/N: I love you guys.
That is all.
Okay, so that's a lie. Not the loving part, but the being all part. I start school tomorrow… or… I guess today, so I rushed to get this chapter done before that. It is now 2:00 A.M. and I'm too tired to run through it and check for errors, so you'll have to forgive me if I've botched anything.
Also… it may take me a little while to get accustomed to my schedule with school starting and work, so I'm not sure when the next update will be, or if I'll get slowed down any, but I wanted to get this out to you before everything changed. Because of that… it was written quickly and without as much brainstorming as I normally put into it, so not one of my favorite chapters, but I hope you'll enjoy it all the same.
Disclaimer: Still not mine…. Do you people just like bursting my bubble every time?
December 25th, 2008
Christmas Morning
Edward finds Bella particularly reluctant to wake up this morning, probably because she knows that gifts are coming. She buries herself further beneath her covers, refusing to show him her beautiful face.
"So you want to play hide and seek do you?" He grins, "Just a warning, I'm very good at this game?"
She whips the covers off her head, but he has already disappeared. She smiles happily, her thoughts momentarily diverted from the disaster that is Christmas morning.
"I wonder what happens when I find you?" She thinks aloud.
"Perhaps we should make a deal. If I find you, I don't have to accept any gifts."
He growls deep in his chest, and she spins, trying to decipher his location. She pouts as she is unsuccessful.
"Fine. Fine." She huffs, "What about just one less gift?" He had already revealed that he planned on giving her several.
He growls again.
She doesn't even try to find the source of the noise this time. She continues pacing around the room, not really even concentrating on looking. Was she refusing to play his game?
"You're so stubborn." She groans. "How would you like it if I spent tons of money on things you didn't even need? What if I just threw money around like it was nothing, buying everything that caught my eye or reminded me of you? When in reality, the only thing I could ever want or need for Christmas…"
He throws open the door to the closet he's hiding in, grabs her arm and pulls her into the dark with him.
"Is you." She finishes breathlessly.
He buries his cold face into the warm crook of her neck and inhales deeply.
"What was I saying?" She asks.
"You were telling me how much you loved Christmas." Edward snickers.
She laughs, threading her fingers into his hair.
"I think you've gotten some of my words confused. You—I love very very much." She punctuates her statement with a kiss on the side of his neck. "Christmas, on the other hand, not so much."
He presses her into the closed closet door, and looks into her eyes. It's dark in the closet, but it doesn't affect him. His eyes can see every curve of her body, and he can see every small movement from her short gasping breaths. He leans into her, placing his mouth centimeters away from her ear and breaths, "What if I make it worth your while?"
She gulps.
"And how would you do that?" Her small hands tighten against the muscles of his back.
"Well. I could do a bit of this." He runs his lips along the column of her neck painfully slow, feeling her pulse speed up beneath his lips.
"With a little of this." He opens his mouth, allowing his tongue to dart out briefly to taste her skin.
She releases a strangled breath.
"Or…" he places a soft kiss against her opened mouth. "I could just let you choose."
"Me? Choose?" She gasps.
He nods, and drags his hand lazily across her hip. He hears a quiet moan that he can tell she tried to hold in. His palm continues blazing a trail from her hip down the outside of her thigh. His strong fingers close around the back of her knee and in one fierce tug, he has her leg wrapped around his waist.
Her eyes are wide and there is a hint of anxiety in them. He smothers a grin, glad for once that he doesn't feel like the one who can't keep up. Normally, she's like a little ball of fire, and he feels like he isn't worthy of her. He feels so small, like he can't possibly handle everything that is Bella Swan. He takes a special pleasure in seeing her melt against him.
"Edward." She rasps.
"Yes, my love?"
"I-I want…b-but my Mom."
"Is outside reading on the porch. She's very caught up in her book."
She grins wickedly, "Then what are you waiting for? Kiss me already!"
He presses his lips hard against her own, and her fingers are suddenly buried tightly into his hair. He loves how she is always touching his hair. It keeps him grounded. Her lips are so soft and warm that sometimes it feels as though it can't possibly be real, nothing that feels that amazing can be real. He feels like he might float away into some ethereal dream, but when he feels her small hands in his hair, it reminds him that this moment, a moment that he'd only ever dreamed about, is not only real, but is neither the first or last time that he'll feel her lips against his.
His hands are steady on her waist, so steady that when she lifts her other leg to wrap around his waist, her body barely even moves. He wraps his arms tighter around her, effectively pressing their bodies together. He loves holding her, knowing that she trusts him to support her.
"Have I told you lately that I love you?" He whispers against her lips.
"Yes." She grins, "But tell me again."
He laughs, but does as she asks. He wonders if he's ever said something so truthful in his life. Sometimes he gets the feeling that love can't possibly encompass the emotions he feels for her.
"I do love you."
She wiggles against him, and he realized that their hips are lined up intimately, and she's biting her lip to hold back a moan.
He knows that it's time for him to pull back, but he dreads seeing the look on her face when she does. He longs for nothing more than to make her happy, but he can't give her that. She may think it would make her happy, but it would only endanger her.
He sighs, before beginning the inevitable.
But she tightens her legs around him to stop him.
"Bella." He groans.
"Don't stop. You always stop."
"Because I love you."
She tries to pull his lips back to hers, but he holds fast.
"Then love me!" She whispers fiercely.
"Bella." He caresses her cheek gently. "I wish, fervently, that I could give you that, but I can't."
He hadn't wanted to ever have this conversation, but he knows that it's necessary.
"It's too dangerous, Bella."
She looks crushed.
"Oh. I should have realized that was it. I thought… you didn't want…"
"Didn't want? Christ, Bella, you thought I didn't want you?"
She blushes, giving him all the answer he needs.
He pulls her body closer, and presses his hips hard against her own, showing her just how much he wanted her.
"Bella. I want you so much it kills me. I can't tell you how hard it is to say no to you."
"So don't." She smiles half-heartedly.
"If it were just for me, it would be different, but this is for your own good."
"Ugh. Why is it that every time I really want to do something… people always tell me not to for my own good."
He laughs.
"You really want to do it?"
"Don't mock me." She pouts, "This is embarrassing enough as it is."
Her legs still wrapped around his waist, he settles down onto the floor of the closet. He pulls her tight against him, and the two are surrounded by the clothes hanging above them.
"Don't be embarrassed, love, you certainly aren't the only frustrated one among us. Why do you think I'm always in your rocking chair when you wake up? It's entirely too tempting to spend the entire night by your side."
She blushes and presses her warm cheek against the exposed skin of his collar bone. He hears her breath hitch and the wetness of her tears.
"So… never?" She cries into his cold skin.
"Bella? Bella, my love? Don't cry. Maybe someday it will be different, it's hard to say. But regardless, I will always consider you my lover."
She doesn't reply, only cries into his arms. But she makes no move to push him away, so he hopes that means she isn't too upset with him, however upset she might be with their situation.
He hears Renee's footsteps entering the house and then at the bottom of the stairs.
"Your mother's coming. Should I head her off?" He asks. Bella nods, and grasps his hand thankfully.
As quickly as he can, he slips from her embrace, out of the closet, and out of the room to meet Renee in the hallway.
"Oh Edward!" Renee cries. "I wanted to speak with you."
Her thoughts tell him that it is about something that she doesn't wish Bella to know. He holds a finger to his lips and gestures to Bella's door.
"Bella is just finishing getting ready, why don't we head downstairs and wait for her there?"
Renee smiles and nods, and Edward follows her back down the stairs.
"You wanted to speak with me?" Edward asks when he's sure Bella cannot overhear.
"Well, yes," Renee begins, but Edward hears the question in her mind first.
"Of course, we can stay in touch. I'm sure you have many questions, and I myself wouldn't mind knowing more about Bella's childhood, seeing as how she is a bit of a closed box to me, or her thoughts are anyway."
Renee looks relieved. "Oh good! It's just I know how difficult things are concerning yours and Bella's relationship."
And I know how your kind thrives on secrecy.
"You are very right, Renee. Our secrets are important to us. But I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to have you know. And I'm sure Bella will feel the same way should you ever choose to tell her. "
"Perhaps." She replies. But her thoughts tell him that she's still very wary of telling Bella the truth.
"Was there anything else on your mind?" He asks.
There are a strange series of images that flash through her mind, but he has trouble making sense of them. He's still not used to the way Renee's mind works.
"I had hoped just to know more about you. You, specifically, and your kind."
He smiles, "I can certainly do that. I would be glad to keep up a correspondence with you. And perhaps keep you updated on Bella's life, I know how bad she is at staying in touch."
A small tear wells in her eye, but she wipes it away quickly.
"Thank you so much, Edward. I'm so happy that Bella's found you. I'll admit, it's not exactly a conventional romance, but it's so romantic to know that you'll have each other for eternity."
If Edward had a working heart, it would have stopped beating in that moment.
How can he tell her that that is not the truth? That he can't damn Bella to this life? Will she still be accepting if she knows that he can never give Bella that?
But shock is the predominant emotion, and words slip unexamined from his mouth.
"You would have me change her?" He asks in disbelief.
"Yes, I figured that…" She trails off, horror dawning on her face. "You won't?"
He shakes his head fiercely, unable to actually say the words because of the strong voice in his chest that wants so desperately for him to actually say yes.
"I thought you loved her?"
Why does everyone keep doubting his love? He is trying to do the unselfish thing!
"Which is why I can't change her, Renee. Like you said, this love is not conventional, and certainly neither is my life. I cannot damn Bella to my fate, Renee. I will spend every moment of her life with her, but I cannot ask her to be here for every moment of mine."
He is surprised at how shocked Renee is. He can't believe that she would just assume that it would work that way or that Bella would even want that. Perhaps she might foolishly think she wants it now, but later in life she would come to regret it. He knows she will. It's the only thing that keeps him from giving in.
Renee doesn't speak much more after that. She is wrapped up completely in her thoughts. He can tell she is trying to think of mundane things, but every once and while an image of he and Bella will slip in.
The three of them open presents as soon as Bella comes downstairs. Edward and Bella give Renee a large work of art painted by Esme to hang in her new house. As Alice had promised, she absolutely adores it, and insists on hanging it right that moment. Renee gives Bella pink silk pajamas, and Edward thinks he sees something else silk below it, but Bella covers it quickly, and hides the box with a blush.
Edward and Bella exchange small gifts in front of Renee, because Bella thinks that they are still trying to keep up the "new relationship" farce in front of her mother. They plan to exchange more serious presents later that evening after they have arrived back in Seattle. Edward gives Bella a necklace with a deep blue gemstone hanging down like a teardrop, along with a few books that she'd mentioned she would like to read. Bella gives him a CD, one that Alice had promised he didn't already have. And then as a joke, she gave him a freesia scented car freshener. He hugs her, whispering in the ear that it doesn't smell nearly as delicious as she does.
They clean up the mess of bows and wrapping paper, and Edward grabs their things from upstairs. Their flight leaves just before noon, and then they'll be back in Washington to spend New Years and the rest of Bella's break from school completely alone without any interruptions or hang ups. They just have the eight-hour flight to get through first.
Bella and Renee say goodbye at the airport, holding each other in a fierce hug for several long minutes. He knows they're talking about him and he concentrates on other things trying to give them their privacy, but he can't help overhearing a few things.
He is thankful that Renee is reassuring, even pushing for Bella to get more serious. Bella only smiles.
Edward waves goodbye to Renee, still unsure of how she feels about contact with a vampire, and then they set off through the jungles of baggage check and security, wishing for the time to pass faster.
He can tell during the flight that Bella wants to talk to him, but they are most likely things that she doesn't want overheard. After a few hours of squirming, she finally sets her shoulders determinedly, digs for something in her pocket, and then turns to him.
"I had planned to do this when we were alone, but I just can't wait anymore. It's Christmas, and airplane or no airplane, I want to give you my gift."
Edward chuckles, and unbuckling turns to face her.
"Okay, then."
She holds open her hand to reveal a small bronze-colored key.
"It's a key to my apartment."
He raises a brow and replies, "I would have thought that by now you would know I don't need a key to get into your apartment."
"It's not about the key persay." She's nearly shaking in her seat, whether from excitement or nerves he can't tell. "It's more about the meaning behind it."
"I'd like for you to move in with me."
His jaw drops open in shock.
"Now before you say no, it's not like you don't practically live with me already. The only thing different would be you actually showering at my place and keeping your stuff there. Unless of course you had planned on returning to Forks every evening like you originally planned. I hadn't thought of that." Her forehead creases in worry.
He cups her cheek in his hand, "I'm not going back to Forks, but Bella—"
"And don't try to pull that gentleman crap on me either, I know you're no gentleman." She elbows him playfully.
"Bella—"
"I just hate not spending time with you. And even if it only gets me ten more minutes with you before you leave for work, I'll take it. So if you'll just consider for a moment…"
He pulls her as close as the seats will allows, and silences her with a kiss.
"I don't need to think about it, Bella. I was only going to point out that things might be a little difficult with you having Angela as a roommate."
Bella's face falls. "OH. Oh. I hadn't thought about that."
"Not a problem." He grins, "I have a solution."
"I don't care how much you beg, you can't feed on Angela." She whispers.
Edward rolls his eyes. "Hilarious, Bella."
"Yeah, I thought so." She grins cheekily.
" I was merely going to suggest that you move into my apartment. Like I said, it's not decorated or anything, so I'll need your help, but it's pretty big, and it had a great view of the city."
"I'm sold." She laughs happily.
"So we're living together?"
"We're living together." She affirms.
He pulls her in for a soft and gentle kiss, and he feels almost normal for a moment. This is what normal people do. They fall in love, move in together, get married, have children, grow old together. They don't fall in love, move in together, get married, and join the undead. But he would take what normalcy he could get.
She pulls back from the kiss.
"Wait a second! How did you manage to change my gift to you into a gift to me?"
He grins crookedly and shrugs. "Don't forget, you still have more gifts whenever we get back to Seattle."
"You're despicable!" She shoves him lightly.
"I know." He answers with a playful sigh.
"But I love you."
He grins. "I know that too."
A/N: Well… I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter, and for those of you starting school like me, good luck with your classes!
Also… here's a little preview into the next chapter, just to make your mouth's water a bit.
PREVIEW:
Edward didn't need to think about who had done this, he would know that scent anywhere.
Werewolves.
Ah! Who's excited! I sure am! Leave me a review guys!