Remembering the Forgotten
By: Ellipsis the Great
DISCLAIMER: Kingdom Hearts and everything affiliated with it belongs to SquareEnix and Disney. All I own is the plot…although the original idea came from orangediscord's one-shot 'Left Behind.'
Summary: Sometimes, I thought I was the only person who remembered him…eventual Seiner, other pairings unknown.
Rated: M.
Spoilers: Takes place after Kingdom Hearts II; I dunno how much of the plot will be included.
Warnings: Yaoi and some angst. More warnings later if needed.
Chapter Eleven: Subolescare (to grow up, mature)
"With open arms, I am crying. With open arms, I'm going down. Wind blows my joy away, help me out of these mournful days…starlight from the sky—lead my heart and tell me why. Too many days I had no faith. I wish I had someone to blame." –Caliban, 'Another Cold Day'
I'm going to skip over our little detour in Traverse Town, because mostly nothing happened. Cid may or may not have gotten laid (and by 'may or may not' I mean 'most definitely did.' Several times. And in case you were wondering, Vincent isn't nearly as quiet in bed as he is the rest of the time), and Sora, Hayner and I may or may not have rough housed with a hundred and one dalmatians. (Sadly, I'm only joking a little. There were a ridiculous amount of the little spotted bastards.) In regards to our mission, I had told them Persephone's 'hints' about Miss Astor's true identity, but none of them had been able to make any more sense out of them than I had. They didn't know anyone by that name, and the meaning for it didn't hold any significance to them, either.
I was beginning to think that Persephone was more like her husband than I had thought.
Right. So since nothing of any particular interest happened (that is to say, nothing that would fail to embarrass or scar me), I'm skipping all the way to when we arrived in Twilight Town.
It was quiet when we arrived. That was probably because we were in the fucking woods next to the mansion, and everything is quiet out there, but that isn't the point. The point is that it was goddamn quiet. And the point to that point is that when things get quiet, our group was set on edge. And when our group gets set on edge, Sora decides to try and make things better.
That, of course, means that he started talking about anything and everything with no regard to his dignity or our sanity.
"…So then when I was eight years old I got my lips stuck in the gate behind my house, and Riku and Kairi laughed at me, and I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldn't even talk to each other until the fifth week because both our lips were so swollen, and when he did start speaking he just spoke polish and I only knew like three words in polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip: 'Usta!'" Sora gave us a sunny smile, as if to deny the fact that he was putting us through the worst verbal torture I had ever been subjected to in my entire life—including high school.
"If someone doesn't shut him up, I'm gonna send him back to the fucking hospital." I gritted out, gnashing my teeth and shoving my hands as deep into my pockets as they would go in hopes that that would stop me from carrying out my threat.
"Calm down, twerp." Cid murmured to me, though he looked like he might have been as annoyed as I felt. He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.
Ah! There's something that had happened at Traverse Town. Or, rather, that had been happening ever since we picked Cid up in Radiant Gardens. He had started calling us all odd, but strangely touching (shit, that sounded really goddamn girly), nicknames. I was 'twerp (obviously), Hayner had become 'kid,' and Sora turned into 'sky-boy.' Sora's was both practically and literally true, and made me smirk a little every time I heard it; especially when he got upset about it.
It was weird, because I accepted the name as easily as if I had always been called that, whereas usually I'd have tried to kick his ass for it. (Actually, scratch that. I would have kicked his ass for it.) And not just because nicknames are one of the most annoying goddamn inventions anyone had ever thought up. It was also because my dad always called me 'boy,' so nicknames like those really rankled on my nerves. They made me feel like the person was talking down to me, which is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Perhaps even more bizarre than my uncharacteristic acceptance of the name, was the fact that his hand on my shoulder actually fucking calmed me down. And to clarify a bit: Fuu was the only person who had ever been able to do that. Well, and sometimes Rai, but only once in a blue moon. When anyone else even tried, I generally turned on them instead.
"Hmph." I grunted, trying to salvage whatever I could from the strange occurrence.
"Where should we go first?" Hayner asked, looking at me. "School?"
I nodded. "Sounds good to me."
The great thing about that decision, of course, was that Twilight High was situated just outside of the woods. So we only had to go traipsing a short way before we had reached our destination.
"Where to?" Sora asked as we walked in.
"Let's check out the art room first. If she isn't there, she's probably—" I began, but stopped at the unmistakable sound of flesh hitting flesh, followed shortly by a shocked and frightened and hurt scream. "The fuck…?"
"You conniving bitch!"
My blood turned to ice water in my veins.
It was my father's voice.
Not caring what the others did or said or thought or what the fuck ever, I took off down the hall toward the library, where the noises had come from. To recap a little, it was also where the art exhibit was.
"Dad!" I exclaimed as I ran into the room.
He turned on me—the imposing figure that starred in nearly every single one of my nightmares. He had blond hair, like mine, short and neater than hair had any right to be. His eyes, though, were such a dark brown that they almost looked black—a fitting color for him, even if they were glazed over in a drunken haze more often than not. His face was sharper than mine, if slightly gaunt from years of work and stress, and he was burlier even than Rai. But he was damn fast, for a drunk. Hardly seeming to move, he suddenly stood before me, hand shooting forward and grabbing my neck, lifting me up as easily as if I was Miss Astor.
"You lying bastard." He growled in my face. His breath smelled strongly of liquor, as it usually did, though I could have sworn that I smelled his anger, too, it was that palpable.
"D-Dad, I—"
"Gave up on that artsy-fartsy bullshit, did you?" He asked, striding over to where my painting was with me still firmly in his grasp. "Explain this, then, you pansy-assed mother fucker!"
He slammed me into the canvas, and I saw stars as my head broke through it and hit the wall it was hung on. He held me there, like I was supposed to be able to see the picture better when I was quite literally inside the thing.
"Now, doesn't that look like art to you?" He asked, his voice deceptively calm. "Doesn't it?"
"Y-yessir." I choked out. Spots were appearing in my vision, from both my recently incurred concussion and the fact that he was suffocating me.
He jerked me away from the wall and threw me down onto the floor. I rolled a little and stood up, inching my way away from where Miss Astor lay, watching us with wide, terrified eyes. I was hoping to get her out of trouble by letting myself take on all of his anger. I was used to it, after all.
Before I could really get my bearings straight, though, his fist smashed into my nose, sending me careening backward into the wall. My beanie fell off.
This is the scene Hayner, Cid, and Sora walked into a scant moment later, just as Dad kicked me in the stomach.
"What the hell?" Hayner exclaimed furiously. "Get the fuck away from him, you asshole!"
"Stay out of this, Hayner." I forced myself to say, wishing that my voice didn't sound quite as desperate as it did. I didn't want any of them to see it (especially Hayner, and not just because he was my rival), but I definitely didn't want them getting involved.
"And who's this?"
I gasped as Dad grabbed my hair and jerked on it, standing on my tiptoes to try and lessen the strain on my scalp.
"This your fuck buddy?" He asked. "I should have known you were an art-loving cock-sucker all along!"
"Dad, please." I said, fighting back the pained tears in my eyes as his grip on my hair tightened.
"I said get the fuck away from him!" Hayner said, stepping forward.
"Hayner, don't—"
"Shut up, boy!" Dad said, tossing me to the floor again. Running purely on self-preservation instincts, now, I started to curl up into the fetal position. Dad brought his foot down cruelly, standing on my side with no apparent intentions to move.
"Dad, stop it." Shit, I was seriously crying. In front of everyone—in front of Hayner. And I know you're wondering why I wasn't fucking doing something about it. Hell, sometimes I wonder why I didn't do anything. And yeah, it was stupid and irrational, but like I had told the others: this man was my father. He was an asshole and a drunk, but he was still my flesh and blood; half of him had made me. Besides, he hadn't always been like this. Before Mom died…well, everything was different before Mom died. And part of me still hoped beyond all hope that he would go back to that someday. It was that part that kept me from retaliating; the part of me that was still a naïve little kid that thought that parents could do no wrong, and that, consequently, I must have deserved every punishment he dished out.
"Don't you call me 'dad,' boy. I didn't raise no faggot." He said, leaning on his foot. "Enjoy taking it up the ass, do you? You must be a good hole—you sure as hell ain't good for anything else! There's no other reason for anyone to want you, you useless bitch!"
Hayner made a furious noise somewhere between a snarl and a roar, but Cid sprang forward before he could, pinning my father to the wall with his spear.
"Listen up, you no good son of a bitch." Cid said in a voice I had never heard anyone use before. "If you ever lay a hand on him again, I swear on the Lifestream I'll pull your intestines out of your ass and feed them to you."
"What do you care about that little shit?" Dad wheezed, having had the breath knocked out of him when Cid attacked him.
Cid leaned in, looking for all the world like a wolf closing in on its prey. "I care because that 'little shit' has done more in the past three days than you've done in your entire worthless goddamn life. I care because Seifer is a good kid, and I don't want you to fucking ruin that by beating it out of him. And I care because homophobic jackasses like you piss me the fuck off." Cid said, and released him roughly. "So why don't you run back home to your booze like the coward you are?"
Dad snorted and brushed himself off, sneering down at me as he passed.
"Dad…Dad, I'm sorry." I said as I pushed myself up off the floor and stood, reaching toward him. Because part of me was still wishing he would go back to the way he was before Mom died. "I didn't mean—"
He slapped my hand away. "Don't fucking call me that. You're no son of mine."
I flinched.
"If you don't want him, I'll take him. He's too fucking good for you." Cid said, pushing him none-too-gently toward the door. "Now piss off, ass wipe."
Snorting, he left. He didn't look back.
"You okay, Seifer?" Sora asked, turning concerned eyes on me.
I grabbed my beanie, wiping my eyes almost violently. "'M fine." I said, turning to where Miss Astor still sat. "Miss Astor?"
She moved even faster than my father had, and I stiffened as I found her arms suddenly wrapped surprisingly tight around me.
"I am so, so sorry." She said, bursting into tears. "I had no idea he was—it's no wonder you never wanted to show anyone your art!"
"It's not a big deal, Miss Astor." I said, shrugging her off. I hated being around crying chicks—it always made me feel guilty and awkward. I smirked at her when she looked up at me. "Seriously, it isn't. Are you alright?"
She frowned at me for a moment, then sighed disappointedly. "I'm fine." She said almost snappily (almost, because Miss Astor never got angry at anyone, it seemed). Then she looked at our ragtag little group with a pensive expression on her face. "You're here about the Queen."
"I thought you might know something, because of that art project we had last semester." I said.
She nodded. "She's using the heartless to gather hearts." She said. "And she's using the hearts to keep herself young and beautiful." She shuddered. "I much preferred the Organization, or even Xehanort and Maleficent. The Queen is a thoroughly despicable human being—if she can be considered a human anymore."
"Yeah, well, she's what we're dealing with now." I said. "So what do we have to do to beat the stupid bitch?"
She let out a tinkling laugh, shaking her head at me. "I can't help but wonder, sometimes, why I like you so much." She said, patting my shoulder gently. "No matter, I suppose."
"Miss Astor, we really do need to know how to beat her." Sora said.
"I can't tell you that." She said apologetically. "All I can tell you is that when Seifer has found what he's looking for, he'll know what he needs to do."
"Oh, great." Hayner snorted. "Let's leave the fate of the universe in Seifer's hands. This bodes well."
"Better my hands than yours, chickenwuss." I retorted.
"Oh yeah? Well fuck you, jerk off. Fuck. You." He said.
"Well aren't we original today?"
"Boys." Miss Astor said sternly.
"Isn't there anything else you can tell us, ma'am?" Sora asked.
She hesitated. "Well…I'm not really supposed to do any more." She said. She looked at me. "Did Persephone tell you how the ring works?"
"All she said was 'follow the leader.' Whatever in the hell that's supposed to mean." I said.
She giggled. "You haven't been able to figure it out, then?"
"No, I enjoy being as vague as women apparently do." I said, annoyed.
"Think about what you're trying to find, Seifer." She said.
I frowned, then looked at Hayner, who blinked at me and cocked his head to one side.
She giggled again, then shoved me gently, causing me to stumble forward a little, grabbing Hayner's arm to help regain my balance.
The ring burned on my thumb suddenly. Startled, I looked down at it just in time to see it glow. A small beam of light burst from it, pointing straight up.
"You're kidding, right?" I deadpanned, eyes following the light.
"I'm afraid not, dear heart." She said, not seeming at all apologetic. "He's been leading you from the beginning, you know."
Hell yeah, I knew, and didn't like it one goddamn bit. Hayner had been doing the leading—he was the one who made me fully remember Roxas, the one who dragged me to the mansion, the one who got me sucked into Space Paranoids…hell, he (his soul, at least) was the reason I was on this half-baked 'quest.'
"What're you talking about?" Hayner asked. "Seifer doesn't let anyone lead him; he never has!"
I rolled my eyes. "Shut up and let's go, lamer."
"I rest my fucking case." He muttered, making a face at me, but looked at Miss Astor instead of following me. "Say…who are you? Persephone told Seifer that one of us knows you, and that your name means 'a star,' but we can't figure it out."
She smiled impishly. "I believe that what she said was 'someone traveling with you knows me.'" She said. "And you haven't thought of everyone, yet."
"Donald or Goofy?" Sora asked hesitantly.
She shook her head. "Someone else, Sora. He's been traveling with you the entire time." She pointed down at Sora's pants.
"She's talking about me!"
And from one of Sora's pockets hopped a fucking cricket. A talking cricket. That wore clothes.
"Jiminy Cricket." Miss Astor said with another smile. "It's been a long time."
"I…I suppose it has, ma'am. But I'm afraid I don't know who you are." Jiminy looked sheepish. A sheepish cricket looks almost as ridiculous as an angry Hayner. Not nearly as cute, though, but you didn't hear that from me.
She put her hands on her hips. "You've forgotten me, have you?" She asked, sounding more amused than angry. "And have you lost the medal I gave you, as well? I'm disappointed in you, Jiminy."
Jiminy blinked rather owlishly. "The…you're the Blue Fairy?"
"The Blue Fairy?" I asked. "My art teacher is the goddamn Blue Fairy? As in: 'I'll make you a real boy' Blue Fairy?"
She nodded. "That's right."
Hayner wrinkled his nose. "I'm going to go back to the ship and sleep. Wake me up when things make sense again." He said.
"Agreed." I said, following when he started toward the door.
"Hayner really is leading him." Cid mused.
I shot him a glare that would have made a lesser man burst into tears. Cid, that asshole, just grinned at me.
"Oh, but before I forget." Miss Astor—the Blue fucking Fairy—said. "Donald and Goofy have been delayed. You'll meet up with them eventually, I'm sure, but it'll be a while, yet."
Sora sighed sadly. "Oh, well."
"Don't give up hope." She said, but she seemed to be talking to me now instead of Sora. When she continued, she was definitely talking to me. "And don't stop dreaming, Seifer."
I shook my head. "Why? I've gotta grow up sometime, Miss Astor."
She looked brokenhearted. "You're growing up too fast."
"Shit happens." I said.
"Okay, okay, stow the sad talk you guys. Jesus." Hayner said, impatient. "And let's go before something else happens!"
Miss Astor started to say something else, reaching toward me, but stopped and shook her head. "Follow the leader, Seifer."
"Fuck off, Miss Astor." I gritted out as Cid laughed.
Dealing with women like her made me glad I was gay.
End Chapter Eleven