I do not own Total Drama Island or Action. All the characters belong to its rightful owners.

Anyways I've been feeling kind of shitty lately, and with exams coming up its been really stressful. So I'm gonna vent with some writing. Its not great, but it doesn't suck either.

I love you, Those three words are killing me right now. Why'd he have to say it? Why? I'm not even sure if I know what love is, so how can he love me?

I've been literally pulling out my hair because of this. It sucks to be me. He knew I was stressed, so why'd he have to say it? Why Duncan? Couldn't you just have waited until I was sure I loved you.

I'm not sure if I'm capable of loving. Like all those sappy movies say before you can love someone you have to love yourself. When I saw those movies I always thought the people were selfish and full of themselves, but I understand them now. I'm balling my eyes out because I know and everyone knows that I'm a cold heartless bitch.

I turned the hardcore delinquent into a dependent softy. Is that good or bad? My head is screaming at me telling me that I should just tell him that I love him, but my hearts telling me no. Don't do it, Courtney, you want to be happy. You want to be happy for once. I giggle a bit. Isn't it suppose to be the opposite?

The whole summer when we were doing Total Drama I was miserable. I've been miserable even before then. Life never liked me. I've always had to do things the hard way. Sacrificing myself for others.

Maybe I was overreacting, but those three words just pushed me over the edge. I was on a thin rope already. The look on his face when I didn't say it back was the worst. It makes me cry even harder. Why did I have to be such a cold-blooded person?

I've been trying for the last four days to tell myself I loved Duncan, but you just can't make yourself feel that. Maybe if your in a rut the best things to runaway if you're a coward. Because no matter anyone said I haven't been loving myself, and right now that's the most important person right now.

I got to make my relationship with myself to work before I can work on Duncan because when you look at it I'm with myself for an eternity. Forever.

This pretty much sums up how part of me is feeling right now. I'm sorry I didn't use another character, but I felt like I could only express myself through Courtney. I actually liked this one for once. Criticism is appreciated. P.S. If you didn't get this already, the italics parts I love you and forever they're suppose to be what he said. He didn't just say I love you, he said I love you, forever. So yeah lol. Oh, and I accept requests. Not tons though because people will get disappointed.

Reviews, Alerts, and Favorites anything like that is GREATLY appreciated. I love all of you that supported and continue to support me.