Remembering the Forgotten
By: Ellipsis the Great
DISCLAIMER: Kingdom Hearts and everything affiliated with it belongs to SquareEnix and Disney. All I own is the plot…although the original idea came from orangediscord's one-shot 'Left Behind.' Also, the idea for the 'relocation' of the Queen's soul comes from a book called 'Golem in the Gears' by Piers Anthony. And the idea for the ritual is some sort of weird merger of my own ideas with ideas from the movies 'The Brothers Grimm' and 'Thirteen Ghosts.'
Summary: Sometimes, I thought I was the only person who remembered him…eventual Seiner, other pairings unknown.
Rated: M.
Spoilers: Takes place after Kingdom Hearts II; I dunno how much of the plot will be included.
Warnings: Yaoi and some angst. More warnings later if needed.
Chapter Twenty-One: Carpe Diem (seize the day)
"He can't remember the times that he thought: 'Does my daddy love me? Probably not.' That didn't stop him from wishing that he did; didn't keep him from wanting or worshipping him…He grew to hate him for what he had done, 'cause what kind of father could do that to his son? He said 'damn you daddy' the day that he died. The man didn't blink, but the little boy cried: I love you this much, and I'm waiting on you to make up your mind—do you love me too? How ever long it takes, I'm never giving up. No matter what: I love you this much." –Jimmy Wayne, 'I Love You This Much'
"D-Dad?" My eyes were wide as I looked at him. He was standing at the edge of the forest, leaning against a tree with a bottle of some kind of booze in his hand. "What are you…how did you get here?"
He smirked. "Did you really think the Queen was just gonna let you waltz up to her palace without any opposition but those weak heartless?" He pushed himself away from the tree, trudging closer with hardly any of his normal drunken swaying. "I always knew you were an idiot, but goddamn."
"Dad, you shouldn't be here. It's dangerous." I said.
"Stop fucking calling me that. Christ, I've never been your dad, alright? I've always treated you like shit, even before all of this heartless bullshit started up."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"I don't care what he's talking about." Cid spoke up, pointing his spear at my dad threateningly. "You get out of here before I kick your ass to the Underworld."
Dad waved him off, taking a long swig of his drink and then throwing the bottle away. He glared at Cid. "You couldn't kick my ass if I wanted you to, you fucking bitch. Besides, this has nothing to do with you—it's between me and the boy, here." He motioned at me, turning his eerily dark gaze on me. "Her Majesty," the title was spat out with surprising malice, "asked me to 'take care of you.' Told me to break you before you became too much of a thorn in her side." He sniggered. "Us Almasy's are good at that." Then his eyes narrowed. "'S the only thing you're good at, though, so I agreed to come and finish the job I started back in that hellhole Twilight Town." He paused, almost thoughtfully. "Shit, I probably started it before that. Before the Queen returned my heart to me, even."
"R-returned…" I repeated. "You mean…you were a heartless, too?"
He shrugged. "I was the one who opened the door for them, back in Balamb Gardens."
I stared at him.
"It felt good, too. That place…" He shook his head. "I was a hero, twenty years ago. And how does that piece of shit world repay me? They killed her." Then he snorted. "No. You killed her. All that time spent on the verge of death…all that fighting, and we finally fucking made it out alive, and then she goes and dies giving birth to you." For just a moment, his face softened into an expression unlike any I had ever seen on his face. "My poor…poor Sonya…" But the moment passed quickly and he scowled at me again. "And you fucking killed her."
"No…I didn't…" I began.
"I wanted to kill you then." He cut me off sharply. "Why should she have to die, when you…the little parasite that'd been leeching off of her for nine months…got to live?" His eyes narrowed. "But I couldn't do it. Because you had my Sonya's eyes, and how could I kill something that looked so much like her? Something that was once a part of her?" He shook his head. "It doesn't matter now, you ungrateful little shit. Sonya's son or not, I'm gonna do what I should've done nineteen years ago, when you sucked the life out of my Sonya!" He took a step closer to me, his eyes turning almost completely black with anger. "This is what I should have done in the first place instead of dropping you off at that orphanage, you useless little leech!"
I took a deep breath, steeling up everything I had. My father or not…this had to stop. Especially if I was going to try to make Hayner go against his mother…
"Fine." I said, picking up Hyperion from where I had let it rest against a boulder. "If you want a fight, I'll give it to you." I looked at the others, who were all poised to fight, as well (except for that dog-thing…Gurgi…it had disappeared at some point). "You guys back off. I gotta…do this myself."
They looked unhappy (extremely unhappy) with the request, but nodded to show they wouldn't interfere. I guess they understood, or something.
I turned back to face my father, holding Hyperion in front of myself. "Alright, let's go."
"You think you can use that against me?" Dad smirked. "You conceited little bitch!" He held one hand out. "Hyperion, come to your true master."
Hyperion quivered once, almost as if it was apologizing, then disappeared in a short flash of light, reappearing in my father's hand. His other hand suddenly held a Struggle bat, as if he'd summoned it like Sora summoned his Keyblade, and he threw it at me.
"There—that should suit you better." He let out a derisive snicker as I caught the bat.
My jaw clenched tightly together, but I tilted my head up and forced my mouth into the arrogant smirk for which I'd always been famous.
"This is all I'll need to kick your ass, old man." I spat out, falling into my fighting stance.
He snorted again, but, instead of answering, attacked. I was immediately forced to defend myself from the onslaught—and I could hardly do that, much less attack. All of my attention was focused on parrying his attacks, since completely blocking them was impossible. A Struggle bat would completely break under the sharp steel of Hyperion's blade. As it was, all of the outer covering was being torn and hacked away, so that only the hard wood in the center of it all was left over. And that was getting nicked and shredded…
This wasn't looking to end well for me.
"You see what being an artist has gotten you?" Dad hissed as he pushed me farther and farther back, so that everyone else had to scramble out of the way. "This is why I wanted you to Struggle, boy! In this world…no, in this universe…strength is everything! And you—you're weak!"
"I don't have to be stronger than you to beat you, Dad." I gritted out. The water of the lake lapped up against my foot as I was pushed back another step.
He laughed cruelly, getting past my defense just enough for Hyperion to bite into my arm, leaving behind a deep gash. "Not strong enough, not fast enough—" He let out another wicked cackle as Hyperion thwacked against what was left of the Struggle bat and broke it in two, leaving me with nothing but a handle and a joke of a jagged stump. "And not smart en—!"
I fell back under his weight, the 'jagged stump' of my Struggle bat embedded in my father's chest where I had thrust it. When he fought, he swung Hyperion in wide arcs that left a tiny opening—quickly recovering, but not quick enough to save him from the stab of the bat. Blood seeped around the hilt and onto my hand and clothes, the shallow water of the lake turning a sickly red color around us.
"You…" He coughed, blood spewing out onto my face.
"I did both, Dad. I painted and I Struggled." I said as I shoved him off of myself, hard enough that he flew out of the water and on his back on the shore. I swished a hand in the water and wiped my face of some of the blood. "I might not be stronger or faster than you, but I sure as hell am smarter—why else would I have parried all of that shit instead of just dodging it, huh?" I grabbed Hyperion from where he'd dropped it, hefting it over my shoulder and jutting my chin out stubbornly. "Fucking old man."
He tried to laugh, but just ended up coughing up more blood. "So finish it. Kill me, lamer."
I paused, then sighed and thrust Hyperion into the ground beside him. "Like I could do that." I murmured, falling to my knees beside him.
"The fuck're you doing? Fucking kill—" He froze and stared at me, obviously confused out of his fucking mind, as I started to cry. "What in the hell are you crying for, you stupid shit? You're supposed to kill me, now!"
"Don't be stupid." Hayner said, stepping forward and putting a hand on my shoulder. "You're his father. Of course he can't kill you."
"That's why he should kill me. I've always treated him like shit, and…"
"Oh, just fucking stop it!" I snapped, wiping my eyes on my arm. "Did you really think any of that would fucking matter, you fucking idiot? It doesn't matter what you do to me! I've beaten the shit out of guys three times your size and half your age—did you really think I couldn't have beat you whenever I wanted?"
"Then…then why…"
"Because you're my dad. And…and you needed a punching bag, after Mom died." I grimaced. "Or…whatever. I just…you're all I had left. I didn't want to…to do anything to change that. And if you roughed me up some every once in a while…or even every day…it didn't matter. You're my dad, you big dumbass. I'll always forgive you. I fucking love you, Dad."
He stared at me for a moment, then fell back and groaned, putting a hand over his eyes. He shook a little, and I started when I realized that he had started to cry, too.
"You're just like your mother." I heard him say. And it seemed like he wanted to say more, but then…
A portal, like the one that pirate guy had used but much, much smaller appeared above him, a dainty hand shooting out of it and plunging into his chest. He choked on a scream, back arching up, and the hand pulled back, his glowing heart clutched in its fingers.
"Now, since you were apparently having a hard time doing it as an emotional human, maybe you can kill that little brat as a heartless!" A voice—I recognized it from the soul-switch as the Queen's—cackled, then the hand retreated back into the portal, which disappeared.
"Dad, no! No!" I yelled as he shuddered once.
Chains shot out of the hole in his chest, wrapping around him as the area around the hole turned black, spreading to the rest of his body. His eyes glowed the same sinister yellow all heartless' eyes did, and I (along with everyone else who had wandered too close) had to scramble back as his arms ballooned out, so huge and grossly muscled that they were bigger than the rest of his body, which was a little shorter than it had been previously.
He stood on his closed fists instead of his feet, looking at me with the same eerie detachment that all heartless had, and I imagined his mouth would have been twisted into a malicious grin if he'd had one. Instead, there was just a dark, black...void where his face should have been. Shit, it was like looking into his eyes before he was a heartless...
It seemed like we were just going to stare at each other for a while, me in shock and him…well, who knows? But then he lifted one hand high and batted me away with more force than I had realized he could hit me with (gargantuan muscles or not).
"Seifer!" Hayner exclaimed as Cid and Sora both lifted their weapons.
Although I had hit a tree and was seeing more than a few stars, I forced myself to stand.
"Don't! This is still my fight!" I gritted out through the pain, glaring at them until they lowered their weapons again. I'm not even sure that Dad…that Dad's heartless would have fought against them; his attention seemed to be on me, alone.
He turned, coming towards me with surprising speed considering he was walking on his hands, and lifted a fist again.
This time, of course, I wasn't going to just stand there in shock and take the blow. I leapt up as he swung down, landing on his fist with my hands and using my momentum to swing my body around and kick him in the face. He grabbed my feet as they connected with his other hand, swinging me around and tossing me into another tree. This time when he ambled after me and swung, I threw myself under him, not too keen on being thrown into anymore trees.
"Hyperion!" I hollered as he came after me again, but the damn sword wouldn't let me summon it. I threw myself to one side as Dad's heartless took another swing at me, rolling a few times before clambering back to my feet. "Hyperion, Goddammit!"
"Here!" Cid said, tossing Venus Gospel at me.
I had to jump to catch it, dodging the heartless again, and thrust the giant spear into the ground so that I could vault over him, taking the spear with me and slashing the heartless across the back as I landed. Venus Gospel felt ungainly in my hands, forcing me to hold it in two hands in order to use it with any sort of effectiveness rather than one as I did with Hyperion, but any weapon is a good weapon when you have no other choice.
I tried to think of how Cid used it—a spear is much different from a sword, and any mistakes made at that point could…no, would get me killed—but imitation had never been my style. So instead, I moved my grip to just near the bottom of the staff and treated it like a long sword rather than a spear.
"The fuck're you doing with my girl?!" Cid screeched. "She's a spear! A spear!"
I ignored him and smacked Dad's hand away—well, more like I redirected the blow, really. There was way too much power behind it to do something so flip as to 'smack it away.'
"Why do you always do this?" I demanded, even though I knew heartless were deaf from when I had almost become one. Besides which, they can't talk at all, so even if he could hear what I was saying it wouldn't make any difference. "Just when I'm doing something good…when I'm doing something that makes me happy, you've gotta come along and ruin it! You ruined my life in Twilight Town," I jabbed him in one of his arms, causing him to stumble a bit and fall, "and you destroyed my painting," I stabbed the Struggle bat hilt, which was still embedded in his chest, unable to keep from sneering a bit when the heartless let out a shrill scream, "and now, when I'm finally doing something that actually means something, you're trying to hold me back again!"
I stepped back, watching the heartless with a strange sort of detachment as it struggled to get back up. "Why can't you just let me be happy, old man?" I asked, my voice softer. "I'm not taking the blame for my mother's death anymore, alright? For fuck's sake, Dad, if I can't even kill you, now, after all of the bullshit you've put me through…how in the hell do you think it would have been at all possible…even if it was possible…for me to endeavor to kill my own mother when the only thing she'd ever even done to me was bring me into the world?"
The heartless finally stood again, staring at me once again with those blank yellow eyes.
"Fuck this, Dad." I said, lowering Venus Gospel. "Really? Just fuck it. I mean…haven't you ever even once in your life been…I dunno, happy about me? Like…were you excited to be having a kid? Or did you hate me even before I was born and Mom died? Have I never done anything to make you proud of me?"
It just continued to stare. And even though I knew it couldn't answer—couldn't even hear me—I couldn't help the sinking feeling in my stomach when it just…didn't react at all.
With a quiet little sob (shit, I was crying way too much, lately), I went down on my knees, Venus Gospel falling out of my hands.
"I'm so sick of this, Dad." I said. "If you wanna kill me, just…just do it, okay? I'm sick of fighting."
The heartless stared at me for another long moment, and in a bright flash of light that made me cover my eyes with my arm, my father fell on his knees to the ground in front of me, no longer a heartless.
"Fight me, dammit." He wheezed, blood pouring from countless wounds (from our first fight and, evidently, the one we had just shared with him as a heartless). "Why won't you...fucking fight me?" And then he just…died. Shuddered once and fell backwards and…died. I know this all kinda seems anticlimactic. We were supposed to kiss and make up next, right? And he would say something sappy like 'I'm proud of you' or 'I love you, too' or some other shit, and maybe he'd join us and help us beat the Queen. Maybe not, knowing that stubborn bastard.
Life isn't like that, though. Sometimes, life throws shit like that at us, nails us in the balls, and laughs.
And by 'shit like that,' I mean the fact that that disturbingly dainty hand appeared again, holding my father's heart. I heard a cackle sound from somewhere within the portal, and then the hand squeezed the heart until it fucking burst, spewing blood and muscle all over, even on my face.
'That fucking bitch of a Queen.' That was all I could think, just then. I couldn't see anything but red as I charged toward the lake, grabbing Hyperion as a passed it and the plunging into the icy waters. I disregarded the fact that I didn't know exactly how to get to the castle she was using, and the fact that it would be impossible to reach it if I had to swim and hold Hyperion at the same time. I was too fucking mad to think of anything besides killing that fucking whore.
"Seifer!" Hayner grabbed me, pulling me back towards land.
"Fucking bitch! I'll fucking kill her!" I snarled, pulling against him so forcefully that I felt two other pairs of arms wrap around me to help force me back.
"Seifer, you stupid fuck, quit it! You can't go after her like this!" Hayner said.
"I'll rip her fucking heart out and see how she likes it!" I said, hardly able to hear him over the adrenaline rushing through my ears. It hardly registered in my mind that they were friends, not enemies, as I bucked and fought to get away from them.
"Everyone grab him!"
"Fucking let me go!" I managed to shake one of them, but then several people tackled me and the two who were left. Even with my furious, rage-induced strength, I was only able to stay standing for a moment before I crumbled beneath their combined weight.
"Dammit!" I cursed, beating my hands against the ground senselessly. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!"
Held down as I was, my anger was slowly fading into an overwhelming sense of loss as my tears returned, this time gushing faster and harder out of my eyes.
"Fuck it all!" I yelled. "Get the fuck off of me, you fucking assholes!"
They did, although I'm not sure why. They probably shouldn't have, to be honest. But to my credit, I didn't go charging back toward the lake like I wanted to—instead, I dragged myself over to where my dad's body lay. I pulled myself up onto my knees.
"You stupid old man! Fucking useless drunk!" I sobbed and brought my hands down hard onto his chest and stomach, not really caring where I hit him as long as I didn't hit the Struggle bat that was still in him. "You can't die now! You're too fucking hard-headed to die! Dammit! God-fucking-dammit!"
Nobody else spoke, now that I wasn't throwing myself into the lake anymore. They just let me rant and rave at my father's quickly stiffening corpse.
When life decides to nail you in the balls, it really nails you.
(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)
I didn't stop crying and just generally making an ass out of myself (for understandable reasons, to be sure, but making an ass out of myself nonetheless) until I passed out. When I woke up, I was lying a few feet away from the dying fire.
I blinked my eyes open slowly, wincing a bit as the rising sun burned my eyes. I tried to sit up a little only to be pushed back down into the oddly shaped but strangely comfortable pillow my head was resting on. I looked up, straight into Hayner's somber cinnamon-colored eyes.
"Hey." He said, smiling thinly at me.
"Hey." I said, trying to sit up again—'trying' because Hayner immediately pushed me back into his lap.
"Stay for just a little bit longer." He said, gently caressing my cheek.
I sighed and closed my eyes.
"I'm sorry, Seifer." Hayner whispered after we had been sitting quietly for a while.
I tried not to, but I felt tears welling up in my eyes again, and my chin wobbled no matter how hard I tried to clench my teeth. I finally couldn't help but sniffle loudly, bringing a hand up to cover my eyes in a move unconsciously similar to that my dad had made before the Queen took his heart.
"He's…he's dead." I said. "Stupid old geezer."
"Yeah." Something hot and wet hit my cheek, and my eyes snapped open.
"Wh…why are you crying, you stupid chickenwuss?" I asked.
"I'm crying because you're crying, dumbass." He hiccuped, wiping his eyes furiously.
I sat up, but just leaned against him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. It's kind of amazing that no one else noticed or commented on it—they were a few feet away, eating breakfast. But maybe they had just all agreed to leave us alone for a while.
Now, I know what you're thinking—what's up with all of this goddamn crying all of a sudden? I mean, I've pretty much established that I'm a tough fuck, one who doesn't cry and all that shit. And now, suddenly, I'm crying my eyes out every five fucking seconds like some kind of fucking girl.
All I've really got to say to that is:
Fuck. You.
Besides, try saying that sort of thing to Yuffie or Aerith. Or, gods forbid, Tifa. Because I can fucking assure you that any one of them could kick your ass for saying that sort of bullshit.
And, anyhow, even tough guys are allowed a moment or two of weakness. This…these…were mine. From then on, I would never do such an unmanly thing again. Ever. Rest assured.
"Hayner, don't…" I bit my lip. "Don't kill your mom. I know this whole time I've been saying that you've gotta go against her and help us kill her or whatever, but…don't. Let us take care of her. Okay?"
He nodded, slipping his arms around me comfortingly. "None of us are in this alone, right? So…so I'll stand up to her, and I'll beat her, and you guys can finish her off for me." He smiled. "I'm not in this alone…we're not in this alone, Seifer."
"Yeah…I guess we aren't, are we?" I grinned back, unable to stop myself as my eyes wandered over to where the others were gathered.
"Nope." We were both quiet for a moment.
"Where…did Dad's body go?" I asked.
Hayner shook his head. "Goofy and Cid buried him over there."
He motioned towards the forest. At the edge of it, I could see a pile of rocks that were probably serving as both a grave marker and a deterrent for scavengers (the Queen included).
I squeezed his hand again, a little harder this time.
"Seifer."
I looked back at him to see him holding something in his free hand.
"We…found this in one of his pockets." He said softly.
Usually I would have scolded him for disrespecting the dead. Instead, though, I took the familiar piece of cloth from him and pressed it against my forehead, almost like I was praying or something.
It was my beanie.
End Chapter Twenty-One
A/N: OH! I think I need to explain something before a lot of people get confused:
Back in chapter whatever-it-was, when Seifer put his beanie on his 'mom's' grave, it said her name was Edea. THIS PERSON WAS NOT HIS REAL MOTHER! Edea is the mother Ansem put into his memories. He was supposed to get a different father from his original one, as well, but the Queen interfered and messed that part of the plan up. For those of you who have played FFVIII, Edea is the name of the woman in charge of the orphanage Seifer grew up in (known as 'Matron,' thus his comment at the end of the earlier chapter), and also the main bad guy of the game (sort of). Seifer's real mom's name—according to me; this isn't official—is Sonya, as his dad said. Oddly enough, I haven't named his dad. XD
ALSO: Since a surprising number of people have asked, Wilbur and Louis are from Disney's 'Meet the Robinsons.' I'm surprised at you guys! This is even one of the NEWER Disney movies! 2007! C'mon, guys!
AND Gurgi is from Disney's 'The Black Cauldron,' just like Taran. This one was a bit more obscure, though, since BC's kinda not as well-known as some of Disney's other stuff. It was the first PG-rated Disney cartoon, though, and it's my favorite! X3