A/N: Not sure when I'll be adding again, as I have exams coming up – hopefully soon! I hope it's not hard to follow, all will reveal itself in due course!!! Please comment!
Disclaimer: I do not own Alice in Wonderland etc.... Do you think I'd be writing fan fiction if I did?
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Alice was making her way down the winding path, each turn seeming sharp and spontaneous. She would turn one corner, and before her would appear another turn she had not expected; it was as if the road was building itself just one step ahead of her.
She walked discreetly, cowering slightly at any unexpected ruffle of the ferns or shuffle among the long grass on either side of her. Her skirts swished to the motion of her walking, a rhythm she sometimes suspected was being interrupted by a following trail of footsteps. She glanced over her shoulder several times, all to no avail. Nothing was behind her but the path she had tracked.
She must have been walking a while, as her feet were growing sore. She grimaced as blisters started to reveal themselves along her toes.
"Well, isn't this fine," she muttered darkly to herself.
"It most certainly is," said a voice from behind her.
Alice's heart stuttered as she turned around. It only resumed when she saw it was only a poor woman standing there. She sighed in relief.
"I – uh – didn't see you there. Sorry," Alice smiled apologetically. The poor woman was old, wrinkles creasing her face to such a degree one could hardly make out her features. She was cloaked in a shabby shawl, dusted as if an antique. At her feet, three small house-cats rubbed themselves against her withering calves. She smiled back at Alice.
"I didn't want you to see me." The poor woman's smile turned sour.
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Alice's eyes fluttered open. Her vision was hazy, and as she stared up above her, all she could see was an array of mismatched colours. She tried to prop herself up on her elbows, only to find a sharp bolt of pain crawl up her as she moved.
She rested her head back down with a thud. She winced. Everything hurt.
Lying there, unable to move, she had nothing to do but try to remember what had happened. She glanced around her, moving only her eyes, her vision clearing as she tried to recall if she had been here before. Around her she could only see some form of straw and blue sky.
Where was this?
She was laying on something warm, but not comfortable. Once again, she tried to call back images from her repertoire, to find anything that would give her some form of explanation.
Nothing.
She frowned, the only thing she could do without pain, and tried to think. Still nothing. Alice decided to wait, wait for anything. She closed her eyelids. She didn't have to wait long.
"It's still asleep," stated a voice.
"She is still asleep," corrected another.
"That's what I said," the voice replied, irritated, "You never listen to what I say."
"I always listen to what you say. I just disregard it all after I have heard it."
"That's what I meant."
"No you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes!"
"No!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YEESS - It's awake!" The voice exclaimed; its attention diverted.
"She's awake. Will you ever learn? She, she she!" The second voice groaned.
Alice watched the two companions argue over, well, herself. She stared up at them in shock as they stood over her, arguing and eventually forgetting her presence. She wondered who they were, and more importantly, when it would end.
She concentrated on the taller figure first. His clothes were instantly recognisable; bright oranges and blues, spots and strips and a green, velvet vest. The only problem was that she did not recognise his face. He wore a tall, orange hat that seemed to be constantly slipping down over his eyes. Every now and again he had to push it back up. Was it possible she was looking up at the Hatter?
"You never listen. Never at all. Don't tell me you do, because you don't," retorted the young... Hatter? He stood with his arms crossed, glaring at the figure opposite him.
"I don't listen to you when you talk. I don't listen to you when you are mad. And I never listen to you when you are talking madness," the second figure sniffed superiorly. Alice recognised him instantly, now that she could see past the blur. Complete with his bowtie, the March Hare brought about the sickly sweet smell of tea at merely the sight of him. Alice watched them, mystified at what to do and the sheer impossibility of the situation.
She cleared her throat loudly.
The two stopped mid-sentence and looked down at her.
"Oh," they said in unison, sounding genuinely surprised. The Hare had one furry eyebrow raised.
"We didn't see you there. You shouldn't drop in on people like that – it's rude," he said.
The Hatter didn't say anything - just looked down in quiet surprise.
"I hate to get in the way, but would you be able to, err, help me up. I can't move," Alice tried to get up again, only to cry out in pain.
"Don't move," the Hare cried, holding his paws up as to act as some sort of stop sign. He looked Alice up and down, a worried expression on his face. "This looks like the work of the Queen. Or an accomplice. Or anyone else affiliated with her. Heck, it could have been me, but I don't remember doing it, so it probably wasn't. Write me off the list. "I'm not guilty!" The Hare bounced from one foot to another in hysterics. "Not me! Not me!" The bouncing never seemed to end.
"Calm down!" The Hatter commmanded. He held the bunny down with two gloved hands. "We need to get help," he looked around frantically, "do I have to do it?"
Alice watched the chaos in confusion. They seemed to be running around with their hands on their heads, the reason beyond Alice. "Why do I need help? Is there something wrong with me? What's happened?"
The bunny and the man slowed down and thought for a moment.
"It should pass," the Hatter said slowly.
"Depends when she was infected," the Hare contradicted. They seemed to have transformed from crazed lunatics to deliberating doctors. "She'll be safe here though."
Alice managed to take a second look around her. "Where exactly am I?"
"Hay fields."
"I'm lying on a hay stack?"
The Hatter looked uncomfortable. "Sort of..."
Something moved from under Alice, and all of a sudden she was off the ground, high in the air. She cried out in surprise.
The Hare looked sheepish. "Ha ha," he laughed uncomfortably, "camels – what do you know?"
Alice stared down at him in disbelief, finding herself able to move her neck just a small portion.
"Are you trying to tell me I am infirm, and on a camel?"
The Hatter now answered, shaking his head vigorously – sending his hat flying. "You could hardly be called infirm. You're healing already."
"But I am on a camel?"
"The hump of a camel, to be precise," the Hare corrected, one finger in the air, "feels like straw, doesn't it?"
Alice nodded helplessly.
The hare agreed solemnly. "Yes, that feeling is what I hate. If it felt like camel, I would be satisfied. But no, it just has to feel like straw!" The Hare seemed to have a good deal of experience in the area, a fact Alice used to her advantage.
"Uh – Mr. Hare? Could you tell me how I can get off this thing; I think he is beginning to walk."
The Hare's small, brown eyes lit up. "Good, you must be healed then! How lucky! So quickly, too! Oh, that's right – getting off....Swing your leg over, yes – like that. Now use the hump as a support to ease your way down its side – never the front or back, they get very aggressive. Good girl!"
Alice clambered her way down, still feeling a little weak. She landed on the ground with a thud.
She got up shakily, holding one hand to her head, as if to stop it from rolling off.
"Thank you," she said, a little breathless.
The two friends nodded simultaneously, muttering something like, 'all part of the job.'
"Come dear," the Hare tugged on her skirts, "I will lead you back to the cottage. We were just setting up for a tea party, you know."
Alice winced slightly, but followed the March Hare and the unusually quiet Hatter through the field, back onto the path.